#especially being like oooh look but not at my url bc you’ll block me and I want the option to look at ur blog

[iloveyoumorethansoup]

Having these soup talks posts is like starting to say one thing getting distracted and then going into deep grief and now I have to rewrite the actual post part of this. These feel like headings for the actual post

#i had one tag about my tag system and then went into this: #also very miserable being so much less open than I usually am since my entire friend group has my url #strong believer of if ur a native tumblr user it’s fine we can be friends but if u just wanna find me bc it’s funny it’s genuinely upsetting #lulu u r here as an honored guest welcome native user #i miss talking to you guys a lot #this was the only place I could actually voice my thoughts but </3 #I don’t know there’s not even really a point in making a different blog bc my wishes aren’t gonna be respected #like. i have said all throughout the years do not look for me. i will be very upset by this #i laugh when I’m uncomfortable so apparently when everyone was looking for me and I was laughing that was considered permission #i am friends with my friends but I am not as open with them as I am here #nor do I wish to be. I’ve always been huge on privacy since it was neglected my entire life #so hi gamers. if you’re reading this know that I am upset I was upset the entire time said so and you’re still here #I’ve told you for years I didn’t want you here and this was the only space I had #and yeah I make jokes about it but only bc there isn’t a single other thing I can do other than delete the thing I care about the most #and I know for the most part y’all had your fun you found me looked around at what I do #one of you promised you wouldn’t come back I believe that. one of you quite frankly I’m surprised you don’t have an account but either way #i don’t think you’ll be around again unless I directly send you a post off my blog #I’m fine with that. quite frankly it might make my life a little easier #but the one with an account made just to find me and get around me being unsearchable?? idk that I’m gonna just get over that anytime soon #especially being like oooh look but not at my url bc you’ll block me and I want the option to look at ur blog #in the moment I didn’t think I cared that much but apparently I do! a lot! i just wanted to be left alone #and really what can I say? hey that really hurts my trust and the more I think about it the more detrimental it is? #i can’t just send a text out of the blue that’s like hey I am upset about this #and I mean. I’m posting on a public account. i always ran this risk if my wishes were disrespected. i just didn’t think they would be #and it’s stupid to be crying over this but when I’m always so stressed out about keeping up multiple different facets of personality this #was the one place I didn’t have to do that and now I do #not to be dramatic but it’s like losing the only piece of myself I loved #soup talks