#even after he leaves henrietta and quote unquote makes it into the world

[soldier-poet-king]

Idk if it was growing up working class or being raised primarily by first gen immigrants or both but I'm listening to shmanners while at work (and enjoying it) but like hot damn I was unaware of 90% of this shit, and the stuff I did know was from reading period lit

#IK IK im a fish out of water in my white collar office but like. gah #franposting #i mean its immensely helpful for me to learn these basics #yes i think theyre classist and stupid but i DO have to play these stupid games to navigate the world #and at home i will be elbows on table loud shouty italian and it will be good #also like. salad??? as ur first course??? I KNOW THAT'S THE USUAL #but i HATE IT its wrong salad goes at the END of the meal before fruits and desserts #WASPS be wild ig #also dont get me started on having a meal with my uni friends super rich familt #i have never felt more inadequate and worse about myself in my life #i literally wanted to crawl into a hole and die #i think. not to be that person. but when i read trc and met adam #and his whole thing about masking and fearing ppl will see/hear/sense his poor beginnings #even after he leaves henrietta and quote unquote makes it into the world #like hes so afraid theyll find out. that he'll never truly fit. he'll always been like the dirt he came from #like. yeah. yeah i get it. and it hurts. and im so tired of being made to feel inferior for not knowing these things #like i am well educated but so narrowly #i am not wide read in classic lit. im missing so much. im not cultured #i could only do so much catch up in uni. i missed out on the first 18 yrs bc we were poor and my parents are #working class. they had nothing to give #ugh. im getting emo #anyway. shmanners is great i am learning things. but also i am like. so aware of my beginnings and unshakeable sense of inferiority #which IS STUPID AND CLASSIST but our society is DUMB AS SHIT