#even if i feel super inadequate sometimes bc he's so thoughtful and romantic and im. well. not really. im more like a block of wood

[youjustwaitsunshine]

random pic for tag diary (made these from kneadable eraser)

#idkkkk just feeling some type of way? #last weekend i was hanging out with some friends and we were just talking about how long we want to live idk #and my boyfriend is the first person ive heard saying that he wants to get at least 120 bc like so many of us are just sad kids #who are scared of a future that seems so dystopian #and in comes this idiot (affectionately) going 'i need to get at least 120 i want all the time i can get' #i dont fully know why but he said 'life's the only thing we get for free and you know that i cant say no to free things' and i almost cried #it was just so very earnest and sweet and im used to being friends with a lot of cynical people #hes good for me i think. softens me up. bc im definitely more on the rough side and hes just very emotional and (a bit over)dramatic #its really funny actually bc were like. super effeminate boyfriend x super masculine girlfriend and tis probably hilarious from the outside #even if i feel super inadequate sometimes bc he's so thoughtful and romantic and im. well. not really. im more like a block of wood #romantically speaking #idk i just stand there and feel awkward a lot bc i cant deal with affection too well but it helps that hes just so sweet #like when we were on our drive through half of germany and we just talked about so much and it was things like favorite colors #or singing along to the beatles on one of his player pianos (dont ask) #it can get a bit much but hes just so easy to talk to. idk why im making a blog entry from this but hey :) #anyways what i wanted to say. it's nice to have someone in my life whos less cynical than me