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#idkkkk just feeling some type of way?
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random pic for tag diary (made these from kneadable eraser)
#idkkkk just feeling some type of way?#last weekend i was hanging out with some friends and we were just talking about how long we want to live idk#and my boyfriend is the first person ive heard saying that he wants to get at least 120 bc like so many of us are just sad kids#who are scared of a future that seems so dystopian#and in comes this idiot (affectionately) going 'i need to get at least 120 i want all the time i can get'#i dont fully know why but he said 'life's the only thing we get for free and you know that i cant say no to free things' and i almost cried#it was just so very earnest and sweet and im used to being friends with a lot of cynical people#hes good for me i think. softens me up. bc im definitely more on the rough side and hes just very emotional and (a bit over)dramatic#its really funny actually bc were like. super effeminate boyfriend x super masculine girlfriend and tis probably hilarious from the outside#even if i feel super inadequate sometimes bc he's so thoughtful and romantic and im. well. not really. im more like a block of wood#romantically speaking#idk i just stand there and feel awkward a lot bc i cant deal with affection too well but it helps that hes just so sweet#like when we were on our drive through half of germany and we just talked about so much and it was things like favorite colors#or singing along to the beatles on one of his player pianos (dont ask)#it can get a bit much but hes just so easy to talk to. idk why im making a blog entry from this but hey :)#anyways what i wanted to say. it's nice to have someone in my life whos less cynical than me
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mangoposts · 2 months
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y'all ever wonder if matt, nick, or chris have ever been horny? idk its just for some reason they dont seem like the type but for some reason realistically it feels like they dont, but ik everyone gets horny and its normal but IDKKKK I CANT EXPLAIN ITTT 😭😭
also how do you think they would be when their horny? like do you think one of them watches porn? or do you think they get off or whatever 💗
Oh trust me, these men have been horny PLENTY of times LMFAOO They’re young men and it’s apart of life so yanno it’s chill
For Nick, i think he tries his best to ignore it at first. Nick doesn’t strike me as the type of person to get turned on very easily so when he does he’s a little annoyed at the fact he has to take care of it 😭. He definitely would prefer to get off later at night before bed when he’s comfortable and already kind of tired, he ALSO strikes me as the type to watch clips of porn on social media the way some of us do 😭 Like on twitter. I feel like it doesn’t take him very long to cum, he just gets off to release tension and relax more, once he does he’s out like a light
For Matt, he’s somewhat similar to nick, he likes getting off to release stress and help him relax. DEFINITELY gets off in the shower or right after one. Getting off is veryyy important to Matt i think, he likes to take his time with it and actually enjoy himself instead of quickly getting rid of the feeling the way Nick might. He’s very imaginative for sure, very desperate too, so i don’t see him watching porn all that often unless he really has time on his hands. Once he’s the slightest bit horny he’s all fidgety until he’s able to be alone and then he just really indulges in it. I could see it being self care for him 😭
For Chris, the second he’s horny he is taking care of it. Unlike Nick, He strikes me as the type to get horny from the smallest things like a sexual post on instagram or seeing someone he likes in something sexy. He’d get straight up irritated if he’s not able to be alone to finish himself off for a second 😭 He’s very classic, hand him a bottle of lotion, some tissues and pornhub he’s good to go. He’s like Matt where he likes to take his time with himself, but if he’s reallyyy turned on he’ll make himself cum as quick as possible while watching something
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pongnosis · 2 months
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ponggggggg bestie do you think yassen names his guns. DO YOU THINK ROSS NAMES HIS KNIVES. i think yassen would be a little averse to the whole naming thing considering hunter told him not to refer to his victims by names because it made them human. i feel like he would internalize that and think of his guns as mere weapons, as convenience, as tools and nothing more but still i'm sort of curious because some part of me also thinks he could name them. idk. he was petty enough to become an assassin just to spite him and the fact that he has a fav gun??? [it was a beretta right?] but this is also somewhat a useful tip. idkkkk im sleepy and feeling rambly and im making it your problem. also i bet gordon gives them the goofiest or the most poetic names. no in between. man's got a sense of humour but also has that shitton of history ping-ponging [heh] around in his head. anyways i think i'll go & try to catch some sleep. byeee <3
I think the only sentimental thing Yassen might have is the Fer de Lance, and that's one hundred percent headcanon, given that she might as well be a charter (or SCORPIA-owned) based on the information we got on her in Eagle Strike (look, I like ships, don't ship-shame!). I just really like the idea of Yassen having one thing that is his, and the unwelcoming looks of her, the tinted glass in the windows, and the name all seem like something he'd like. Everything else, especially his weapons, I think he has a very pragmatic approach to. They're something to be used and discarded if necessary, chosen based on the needs of the operation, and little else.
… except the Grach. I HAVE OPINIONS ON THIS ONE.
So. SO. Eagle Strike, page 49 in my version (Walker Books 2015 edition, from the box set, so who knows what the line originally said, but I've only ever seen the Grach referenced in fandom): "The gun was a Grach MP-443, black, with a short muzzle and a ribbed stock. It was Russian, of course, new army issue."
This is yet another enty in "Why Timelines Are, Like, Vibes Man", the ongoing saga by Ahorz.
The Grach MP-443 (wiki link) was developed in the nineties but didn't enter service until 2003, and while it was adopted as the standard sidearm, this did by no means happen immediately. It took YEARS for mass production to really start. For years after, there were - and still are - other Russian guns that were in far more common use and much easier to get a hold of for Yassen, who would presumably want to replace his gun fairly regularly to avoid inconvenient evidence.
Ignoring the timeline issue of exactly what year the books are set in (and whether the Grach was even in actual production by then), it seems like a very deliberate choice by Yassen. The Grach is not the best gun out there. It's not the most reliable, not the easiest one to find, not the most common (and more anonymous). It was, however, the new standard sidearm for the Russian military - the country that took everything from Yassen - and going out of his way to choose a weapon that most of the Russian military still hadn't been issued, one after the other to discard of when they became evidence, seems just like the sort of deliberately petty move he would like. A subtle 'fuck you' to his former home.
ALSO. I agree, Ross absolutely names his favourite knives. He'll rant about the bad ones if you get him going, but his favourite, most perfect knives, those get the adoring names. He's so the type to have an original V-42 stiletto in beautiful condition that he's named Rose.
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Ok so in your AU world, if there was a plot about school, who would the women be stereotyped as? I love to read stories where Nat is the stoner or the captain of the team but I feel like Kat is wayyy to quicker to be the nerd type idkkkk probably just nat’s favourite lil cheerleader on the side line like YUP THAT’S MY GIRLFRIEND GUYS
Or they’re both the captain of their own different schools teams and it’s enemies to lovers🤩
Sooooo I maaayyy have started that story once 😁 I had this high school AU in my head and I just wrote down some small scenes from it, but never fully committed because I lost interest.
Basically, Nat was the popular cool girl. Head cheerleader, obviously gorgeous, boys chasing her everywhere she went. And Kat was the new girl who just moved from Russia. She was shy, "nerdy", and just very... normal. Not fitting in, not standing out.
And in this story, Kat has a family secret. Her family didn't randomly move from Russia to the US. They fled. And as the story would progress, and Nat and Kat got closer, Nat would find out that secret the hard way.
But I stopped writing it bc I realized I could satiate my high school/college ideas by writing about Maya :)
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lipslover · 10 months
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rafe x barry (longggg) head-canons !!
barry often online orders fast food for dinner, which is most of the time some sort pizza. similar to the olive theory, this could be called the pepperoni theory.. rafe loves pepperoni, but barry claims he “hates it”. he picks his off and gives them to rafe, always. little to rafes knowledge; barry does indeed like pepperoni, he just enjoys rafes amusement a little more.
rafe has a hand kink. during sex he practically begs barry to wrap his hands around his throat, to let him suck on his fingers, to grasp at his hair, etc.. barry didn’t notice this, however, for the longest time. though when he did, he made sure he got his use out of it.
rafe and barry have very much different music tastes. rafe is more into stuff like the neighborhood or arctic monkeys, meanwhile barry is into tyler the creator or eminem; so when driving to any given location you could imagine the yelps.
at night when barry is trying to sleep in the comfort of his bed, rafe blurts out the most absurd things from beside him. stupid things like would you still love me if i was a caterpillar or do you ever think about the side effects of cocaine. its something that barry love/hates about their relationship; the way rafes brain works, the way barry can almost hear the gears in rafes head shifting.
rafe is always taking pictures of barry, mainly when hes not looking. he has an online photo album just for pictures of his lover. whether barrys back is turned or not, rafe obsesses over the pictures and looks over them every now and then (which is more often than not).
they have really stupid arguments that last weeks, stuff like who would survive underwater longer or who loves the other one more. rafe is always the one to ask the silly questions, yet barry is always the one to get the last word in.
rafe rants about whatever or whoever for as long as barry lets him, before cutting him off of course. barry often wonders how anyone could talk so much without running out of air. he just sits there and smiles stupidly while rafe talks about wanting to murder ward, or sarah, or rose, or topper, or kelce, or anyone that has wronged him in the past 24 hours; and barry just sits and listens.
barry is the first to get up in the morning, and can surprisingly cook (to a limit of four things). most mornings its eggs and toast, as it is arguably the easiest breakfast to make. rafe wakes up soon after, once he no longer feels barrys warmth, and crawls out to the kitchen. he makes noise purposely, to not startle barry, as his back is turned towards him. he hugs him from the waist behind and nuzzles his nose into barrys neck, while placing small kisses. ‘mornin’ country club.’
the first person to suspect that rafe and barry were anything BUT drug dealer and drug buyer, was jj. his father dragged him to barrys shitty trailer to buy the usuals. though when they walked in, rafe was following barry around the place like a puppy dog, talking about nonsense, when barry clearing was not paying attention. to jj it seemed as if rafe was.. more softer? more happy maybe. but what he knew was he had to text the P4L group chat about this asap. (this hc was inspired by a prompt wrote by hartigays. i really like this idea and may or may not make a little one-shot type of thing out of it..)
i might make a part two of this tomorrow idkkkk
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montammil · 6 months
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Disclaimer: I'm not trying to tell you what to do! I just was thinking about this and you from what I have gathered don't mind me blowing up your ask box even with good fucking lord that's a lot of words type of asks.
We got a Marshie drunk 🫗...what about a drunk sad open to vulnerability Nathan 😖 what if his auntie got him tipsy to talk about how his father's been treating him?
(The angry trying to be stoic ones from what I have gathered from my experiences seeing others be the drunk ones, that are the really sad ones.)
And comes to the conclusion that she'll easily manipulate Nathan into accepting his recapture (which kinda works...but obviously he needs a few sessions talks! 🤪👆) #"therapy"
And then she cusses and beats the ever-loving dog shit outta Lawrence but subtly in a way that doesn't prevent him from doing too much. (You mentioned she hates physical violence but that's apparently all he understands.)
Nothing she couldn't have him act as if old age is catching him early!
Idkkkkkkk....feeling like it's a good idea🍶
Auntie wouldn't be allowed to watch him again but what if what if what if...It's her fucking house and she can do whatever in the hell she wantssssss ahhhh, Idk I was just inspired to write it down and share it with you.
Idkkkk ahhh, I was thinking abt. how to get me some Nathan up in my fics & I think I found it
I feel like it's a good idea too!! Charlotte backstabbing Lawrence is something I might write in the future!!
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marchiveeee · 2 years
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Rating the "relationship material" type of MCL's LI: platonic, sexual or romantic (my Candy's version)
Feel free to do yours too, and tell me if you do, I love to read this kind of stuff (I hope you enjoy as well)!!!! If you're asexual, you can just ignore the "sexual" option; and if you're aromantic, you can ignore the romantic. And yes, this is an alternative version of MFK game, but we are not K anyone here, we're making friends!!!
Armin: platonic, but with a sexual twist, I'LL EXPLAIN. I see my Candy and Armin as besties, so they do have some kind of chemistry going on, but most of the times it seems as if she, Alexy and Armin were cousins. Maybe it would get to a sexual "level" if they were both drunk, or wanting to release some stress; I don't imagine it happening often tho..
Castiel: romantic! That's an old one... My Candy and Castiel have a lot in common and the way they built their friendship (IN MY HEADCANON) would've definitely lead to something more. They would be that kind of friends that people look at and say "you two make such a cute couple" (insert tomato Castiel and tomato my-Candy)
Eric: tbh I don't really know him and I don't know the relationship he'd have with my Candy bc I didn't play many episodes after the end of hsl. But from what I know, and from the spoilers I've seen, I don't think they would be close, Eric would be just someone she happens to know bc of a friend. And he's not her type.
Hyun: Oh god, definitely platonic! I see them as really close friends and that's it. They'd love each other as friends.
Kentin: platonic as well. She does think he's cute, and after his whole transformation she definitely thinks he's gotten hot, but the feeling of friendship is still there and I don't see much chemistry going on between them. (He's really hot tho, if I were talking about my terms of relationship material maybe that wouldn't be the case👀. Especially after Alternate Life, I've been interested in "van life" for some years)
Lysander: platonic again. Just like Hyun, my Candy sees Lys as a close friend and would definitely make some effort to keep in touch with him even after hsl BC I believe they have some interesting long conversations with each other. Maybe the fact he's Castiel's best friend influences the "platonic status," but still... I don't see them together. (If it was me tho.... Ok, that's not about me. Moving on)
Nathaniel: that's TOUGH!!!!!! But... In my Candy's pov... Idkkkk, maybe there's some attraction between them but idk if it would get to a friendship with benefits in HSL, probably later on it could happen... And if their "friendship with benefits" goes well, I definitely see them going for a relationship.
Priya: Idk Priya as a love interest very well (for the same reason as Eric), but it wouldn't be hard for them to go to the next level (sexual or romantic). I believe it's just like Nath, but in this case I can see it happening during hsl.
Rayan: Hmm... That's difficult too. I don't see my Candy studying Art History as a major, but I 100% see her as an Art enthusiast. SO... If I were to create a fic on my mind about them, they would probably meet in a museum/gallery/library and exchange numbers and from this it escalates to something else. Maybe they are still professor and student of the same University, but he's not her professor. I will stop here, bc I'm starting to have ideas and this is not the post for an entire fic kkkk IN CONCLUSION: They have the chemistry, but I'm not sure it's enough for my Candy and him to "click" at first.
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maknaesdancersrappers · 10 months
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i had to take a nap bc this chapter actually tired me out and made me feel sick 😭😭😭 YOUR WRITING IS SOOO GOOD like can we just take a sec to praise you? to be able to make your audience feel the same genuine feelings as your character is just mind blowing like you’re really THAT girl 💅🏾👏🏾👏🏾
idkkkk jae is looking v sus i cant deny that but i went through the playlist you put together for devoted and analyzed some of the songs to see if i could come up with a theory and honestly i still don’t think jae is gonna hurt y/n….
hEAR ME OUT !! dr. jeon legit said while y/n is the trigger she’s also the solution and you’ve made it very clear that no matter what jae will never hurt her…at least physically. he’s def done some things he shouldn’t have and i wouldn’t be surprised if the wedding is put on pause but i think they’ll find their way back to each other or some type of understanding like in college.
when y/n was chatting to jae’s mom she said something along the lines of how she’ll stay forever + in an open forum ask she said the only reason she would leave him is if he were to kill someone…which to our knowledge he hasn’t sooooo🤷🏽‍♀️
#teamjae until the end !!!
also got my eyes on kun….one of the songs on the playlist really gave me the vibes he’s still in love with y/n so now he’s on the suspect list for sure bc there’s no way he’s just gonna let her go like that? especially now that she knows the truth + she knows that he technically didn’t leave her willingly…what if he thinks this is his way back into her life?
this fic is just tooooo good and i’m v happy to have you back :) 🫶🏾🫶🏾
girl istg ur one of the best readers to have bc u just deep dive into every fic and dissect everything like i imagine u like this:
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AHAHAHAHHAAH
i luv u for it!!!! thank u so much bb and im glad to be back here uwu
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neowinestainedress · 2 years
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MY HEART IS BROKENNNNNNN i dont think ive cried this much over a fic before. Holy fuck. Im- i- im speechless. The fact that even yn's mom and jaemin's mom and their family were so inconsiderate and just thinking abt jaemin, WTF IM SO SAD AND ANGRY LIKE SHUT UPPPP. yn really didnt deserve any of this, at moments when i was reading she gets the flowers like i would've just snapped at jaemin so hard like Idgaf. And honestly he doesn't deserve to be happy with his stupid ass fiance after putting her through that???? like fucking top 10 anime betrayals type shit.
Like he really doesn't deserve to be happy and idk if that's rude to day or whatever but that's how I feel. Like okay idc if he didn't mean to hurt her, but he did, fuck him.
I hope him and his fiance get a divorce and he is miserable forever. JSHDJD TOO MEAN? idk and idc.
AND YN :(((((( </////3 seeing her heal is honestly so hard to even imagine.
In some ways this story kinda reminded me of my situation but uh yeah.
For yn, idk what will happen with her. A happy ending is probably everyone would want, but I don't see it im sorry. i dont think yn gets a happy ending, I think idk......... she might die -? IDK IDKKKK but yeah amazing fic, you fucking annihilated my heart and I cried so much
I WARNED YOU (but still can i mend it with a virtual hug?)
Yeah, I want to fight both families so bad (and you'd be like WHY DO YOU WRITE IT??? because I'm the queen of pain and drama)
And honestly he doesn't deserve to be happy with his stupid ass fiance after putting her through that???? like fucking top 10 anime betrayals type shit.
No he definitely doesn't. It's not even the fact he doesn't love her but it's the way he acted about it. She was betrayed so much they grew up side by side, he knew how she would've taken it and still did it.
Like he really doesn't deserve to be happy and idk if that's rude to day or whatever but that's how I feel. Like okay idc if he didn't mean to hurt her, but he did, fuck him. I hope him and his fiance get a divorce and he is miserable forever. JSHDJD TOO MEAN? idk and idc.
No, no, you're right. I have to say that his 'i didn't mean it' in my mind was mostly like 'oh, we've been friends forever you can't be mad at me, right? you will understand this and forgive me somehow?' once again highlighting how in his mind she was still a best friend.
In some ways this story kinda reminded me of my situation but uh yeah.
every time one of you tells me this it breaks my heart like WHO IS HURTING YALL SO BAD I WILL FIGHT THEM
For yn, idk what will happen with her. A happy ending is probably everyone would want, but I don't see it im sorry. i dont think yn gets a happy ending, I think idk......... she might die -? IDK IDKKKK but yeah amazing fic, you fucking annihilated my heart and I cried so much
Spoiler: in the first draft the car accident was mortal... but then i changed it because i knew that if i killed her yall would've found me and killed me instead.
I answered here how it ends for me but i also get your point of you. she was suicidal, like, no playing around, so i totally understand why you don't see her ever getting up from this situation. For me, the situation gets so bad for her that she has to fight back because seeing everyone else thrive off her pain drives her insane and she's like 'fine, you had your fun, now it's my turn, and I'll get back everything i should've had in the first place.'
Thank you so much for this! I'm glad you enjoyed it even through the pain 💗💗
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alexxxx-ithymia · 9 months
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I think I have a crush (and I’m hesitant to call it that because I don’t wanna get my hopes up) and this is the only place I can talk about it because he’s in all of my close friends lists everywhere else
And I still think Vanessa isn’t fully on board with it so I can’t talk to her about it either. I tried the other day and she didn’t seem as interested as she is in anything else I usually share with her. It’s not like he’s a bad guy because she thinks of him like her little brother. I think she’s wary of the fact that I’m such a sensitive, lover girl and he’s had to do a lot of emotional growth over the past couple years and she’s VERY protective of me
But yeah, I think I have a crush on Sam and we’ve been friends for years. Our whole foundation is built on hyping each other up and making each other blush and it’s really cute. We have a very on and off flirtatious type of relationship and we’ve brought up going on a date for years but we live in different states now and he was in a toxic relationship before so it never happened. The other day he told me to let him know when I’d be in nyc again and he’ll clear his schedule for me and omgggg 🥰🥰🥰 That made me feel some type of way (in a good way) So I told him I love a man of his word because he still wants to take me out all these years later and he hearted that message. Another day, I complimented his outfit and he told me to stop rizzing him up and I told him he hasn’t even see me try yet. So he said he’s waiting for it and I told him I can’t have him falling in love over 900 miles away. He hearted the message and said that’s something he would say. And just idkkkk I love this banter and I’m all giggly and I feel like a teenager again
But also, I’m so annoyed because me?? Being all giddy over a man??? Me anticipating a man’s attention??? 🤮
Pero like, I can’t stop thinking about him and the potential this could have when I move to his state. (I’m moving for work, not for him. He’s just a bonus) But again, I don’t wanna get my hopes up because we’re adults and shit happens. Especially because he almost got into a relationship recently but it fell through. I have to keep telling myself to just let things happen and enjoy this for what it is
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mrskurono · 3 years
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hello three! its me again ah i just need to empty my thoughts here if thats okay with u 😳
so yeaaah i think im sexually attracted to women but romantically? im not sure yet maybe bc idk how to handle my feelings thats why i dont want to be romantically involved with anyone (not yet) does it make sense? 😭😭 everytime i watch porn on twt and a dick shows up i get pissed like? WTF UR RUINING IT i dont want to see that thing get it away from me! im here for the girl 😭😭 the only porn involving men i like is when they're submissive lol but u know what im also attracted to masc lesbians idkkkk im starting to think i dont care about genders anymore bc i want to rail girls and i also wouldnt mind taking the strap wooooh! ☝️ The thing is i want to explore my sexuality and gender more but im only attracted to foreign ppl and in this Pandemic??? LMAOOOO
is it okay if i dont label myself until i finally figured all out? 😭 sorry if this was too long i hope ur having a great day with ur family and always keep safe thank u sm three ❤️❤️ - 98ANON
We’ll I’m not sure what you mean by foreign (unless you just mean people you don’t know) but the rest of it I really wouldn’t worry about!
I did something similar with guys as I got older. Dated a few. Found out I’m not particularly fond of being romantically involved with men but I do like to be sexually interested every once in a while. But prefer the company of women so much more.
Also liking more masculine or feminine women does not under any circumstance dictate if you like dudes or not. A woman could be as “butch” as they come and you can be attracted to her and still not be interested in men. That entire crap about “well if you like such masculine looking women you must wanna sleep with a man” is such bullshit and excludes the entire spectrum of gender then bc people come in every shape, size and presentation. 
And it’s more than ok not to ever label yourself! And it’s ok if you label yourself and change your mind. Or you never find a label that suits you until maybe years down the line. Gender identity and sexuality can and will change. I’m not the same person I was at 16 or 18 or 22 even. With that how I view myself and what I value in a partner sexually and emotionally have changed a lot (except liking brown eyes and brown hair, that right there i def have a type) More than anything be safe and I know this pandemic is hard but it sincerely won’t last forever. It feels like it will but it will and then you can safely explore anything and everything! 
I’d actually highly suggest looking through some women directed adult material. It’s normally way nicer and there’s an intimacy that having a woman filmmaker shoot a porno that is so much hotter than the run of the mill crap
Worry not you’re always safe here baby and treat yourself well and with lots of love <3333
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yeocult · 4 years
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ateez film diary analysis
ok i am currently typing with tears in my eyes but that’s cool!!!! gonna talk about ateez diary film for a moment. btw if you’re here for theories, this might not be for you, my brain is not capable of that critical thinking lmao. although, i will be rambling/analyzing the cinematography and overall admiring the film!! under the cut because this happened to be 1.5k words oops.
man, first of all, 16 minutes?? thank you for the food kq!! i think their concept is super cool. it’s unpredictable, refreshing, and just gives me a lot of high hopes for this comeback. ateez never disappoints, they come back each time stronger and better.
“this is the story where their dimensions are split into eight pieces again.” that kinds hurt me. throughout the film we see clips of them being happy and joyful with each other, but we also see scenes where they’re all alone. they didn’t get separated by losing contacts or whatever, literally dimensions.
phew okay, when the man with the black fedora approaching hongjoong like that was soooo dskjdj ugh i love it when they have a bright light in the back, capturing the silhouette perfectly. sorry i’m such a sucker for those types of shoots!! now hongjoong’s dream. “the world inside a television cannot be reached. the world they live in and the world that i live in is blocked.” yea.. they’re separated from dimensions. isn’t that so heartbreaking?? separated by time and space. 
um this might be a huge stretch, plus i’m horrible at science. i’ve read a lot of articles on where, ‘if time stopped would gravity still apply?’ and i thought of this because of the items floating up around hongjoong. without time, gravity, acceleration, speed and force are simply meaningless, so i guess that’s why it’s floating? as if we’re going back in time. there’s a lot of consequences and weird things on going back in time/time travelling (most famously the ‘bootstrap paradox’) because time is not an object and cannot ‘go’ anywhere at all, not forward, not backward, nor can it stop. so i expected some not so happy events to occur.
anyways moving on to seonghwa’s memory. i loved this. “i thought i lacked in many areas and have much to learn.” then we see a bunch of to-do lists and i guess they’re kinda like goals to accomplish or things he wants to learn. the somewhat long shot of him sitting on this table and the camera moving away from him gave me a sense of isolation (i also don’t know why yeo in the smn box is on the tv but it could mean he’s trapped). we also see him walking straight, kinda like following a straightforward path with a lot of control, hence the to-do lists. then he hits stops. now the girl is the total opposite of seonghwa. she’s dancing, moving, and overall carefree i would say. everything seonghwa is lacking. she’s freedom. i don’t have much to say about this scene but i really like how when he was walking one step at a time, it was completely dark. but as soon as it hits stops and sees her, there were lights.
now my favourite, wooyoung’s choice. that transition to seonghwa’s little emo time to wooyoung’s hyped underground music and dancing was the serotonin boost i needed. let’s talk about his ponytail because it made me a whole simp for him. plus he’s so fucking cool?? if i become a wooyoung biased soon, you know why. he talks about stage fright and the scene where people were looking down at the camera was perfect, low camera shots show dominance or superiority. when you have stage fright, you’re worried and insecure about your abilities (at least that’s how i feel) and with people look down at you is almost like they’re judging and aren’t expecting much from you. ateez brings him courage and reassurance, they give him strength. the last scene with the rain and the flickering light so chilling. its almost like the rain washed away his everything.
yeosang’s time giving me slight dark academia vibes and i’m here for it!!! also bird metaphors?? yes please! “limited freedom. like a bird in a cage.” we see yeosang in a room surrounded by other musicians but he isn’t playing his instrument. almost like he doesn’t wanna be there or has no real passion for this field. hence him talking about ‘expanding his dreams’. we get a close shot at his face looking forward to the right, i feel as if he’s daydreaming or reaching out. taking back to say my name, we have yeosang trapped inside that box, almost like the birds with limited freedom. he drops his violin and suddenly the birds (they symbolize peace, transformation, freedom and power) are free, giving us a scene with his friends. he’s free.
san’s resolution might just be my favourite in terms of cinematography. can we just talk about the long amount of time san has the stay put for the timelapse to work?? the scene wins my heart. now we see the classroom in a mess, meaning school was never enjoyable to san. always moving and no friends. the way he’s moving seems like there’s not much he can do in his life. the escalator scenes kinda look like the one in wonderland. time is always moving, the escalator moving, and san runs back up despite it moving in the opposite direction. im not sure where i was going with this but i thought i was kinda cool, how he’s running back up to be with his friends.
next, we have yunho and his brother. in a matter of seconds, all the light in the studio flicker and turns off. this is quite similar to the flicker lights in wooyoung’s last scene. there’s a pattern here with flickering lights and how it means lost and loneliness. we don’t know what 5:07 mean, maybe its completely relevant but knowing kq and their team, almost everything seems intentional. also i saw on twt (not my analysis) but seonghwa’s to-do list includes a task of learning how to drive, then we get yunho getting hit by a car. not sure where i got from this but i thought i would include it.
actor jongho!!!! he’s so good i love him. ok so we get that basketball was his dreams but due to his broken leg, it seems impossible for him to pursue that dream. we him sitting at a distance, admiring the game and the people who are able to play. but when he’s in the court, he’s all alone (might just be because he can’t go in court when other people are playing but just let me be deep for a second oki). the burning basketball means he cannot play again. then the fight scene between him and mingi. i want to talk about the camera work for a second. it’s unstable, harsh and a little unfocused (because it’s handheld) and it makes it seem like another member’s pov, pushing the realism on us. hmm this might be kinda dumb but the loud bang when mingi got pushed was a little unexpected hence every scene with the boys was all very calm and had music in the back, no sounds. idk just a noticed. ohmygod another silhouette scene with beautiful lighting in the back!!!! the camera is moving away from him, moving away shows weakness. i loveee this so much along with the smoke. his dreams are burning up, literally.
last we have mingi’s diary. “earphones in my ears, the world is mine for now.” again, similar to seonghwa in the dark walking, mingi is isolating himself from the world. he’s using music to escape from reality. mingi looks trapped by the way its shot, cutting off his forehead and lips only showcasing his eyes and nose. this could be his facial features are more important than anything else right now. the camera angle is below mingi, again with the dominance and superiority… because he literally kicked someone. but still the same camera angle except this time mingi is looking up at the sky or forward, not looking down. with that, mingi no longer looks intimidating, he seems slightly vulnerable. and i think that’s really powerful how quickly he transitions despite the same angle. so we know mingi uses music as an escape, “i would rather be alone than encounter the world.” then we see yeosang (by his flannel) taking off his earphones. bringing him back to reality with the boys, and everything seems a lot more peaceful. its kinda like, without his friends, he would rather be isolated. now i want to point how the loud bang from jongho’s shot. it’s literally the same shot but the noise isn’t there indicating that mingi has earphones in (i think even when they’re not literally in, he still shuts out noise), shutting off the noise. i think the little details were so well done. we also get a match cut of mingi blinking, back to the darkness. i think it shows how quickly things can be taken away from you.
MAN THE SCENE WHERE THEY ALL GATHER TOWARDS HONGJOONG JAKJDSJKSDJKSD I CANNOT BREATHE IT GAVE ME SO MUCH CHILLS MYGODDOO !!!!!! like that scene in say my name. gotta love the build up of the song then it drops when the members all show up UGH I LOVED THAT SOO MUCH!! “the memories of short happiness. and dreams broken into pieces” brb gonna cry. the hourglass is finished,, what does this mean? ;o also i cant help but to notice the lighting on how one side is dark and the other has light. this could just be for aesthetics but idkkkk just another notice.
hehe sorry this made no sense,,, anyways that’s all i have to say, i’m so excited for their comeback <33
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snifflyjoonie · 4 years
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Uh, everything for Yoongi?
alright BET //cracks knuckles (I had this all typed out and then my computer refreshed...so now I’m doing it again. They were better the first time lmfaoooo but anyway)
🤒: How often do they get sick? What kinds of illnesses do they tend to get most often? Colds, flu, sinus infections, stomach viruses?
I know Yoongi has said irl that he doesn’t typically catch colds often but in fics I hc him to actually get sick pretty frequently lmfao. I feel like he tends to catch mild head colds, especially because he doesn’t take the best care of himself in general. They’re usually pretty easy to manage, but if he’s not especially careful they can turn into sinus infections. In terms of the stomach flu, I feel like he only really catches them if one of the other members is sick and he spends too much time with them. 
🌡: Do they tend to run hot or cold? When they have a fever, is it barely noticeable, or does their temperature skyrocket?
Yoongi runs hot. His fevers never get too crazy, honestly they’re mostly just a mild inconvenience more than anything, but he’s the type to shed layers to make himself more comfortable. I also picture him to be the type to grab a cold, wet cloth to drape across his forehead while he works at his studio.
😷: When they’re sick, do they stay home or go to work/school? If they don’t go to work or school, do they try to rest, or do they just go on with their day like normal? Do they try to avoid getting others sick by taking precautions like a mask or staying away from others in general?
Oh Yoongi does not give a shit. He works through anything and never lets getting sick get in his way too much. I think he does try to avoid the others when he isn’t feeling well though, and is quick to put on a mask when he feels even the slightest scratch in his throat or even just has the smallest sniffle. In fact, he wears a mask so much that sometimes the others don’t even realize he’s sick until he’s basically almost over it. They just assume the mask is a fashion choice more times than not. 
🤧: What does their sneeze sound like? (Description, spelling, or both!)
ALRIGHT, we don’t have a lot of irl content to work with here so I’m gonna try my best. Personally I picture Yoongi’s snzes to be...a little intense? Not as intense as like, Taehyung’s or Jin’s, but they just sort of burst out of him more times than not. When I’m writing Yoongi’s snzes I tend to lean more towards spellings like “hA’ISSHHhuh!” or “hH’KISSHHiu!” I also don’t picture him to be much of a stifler; his snzes are kind of tough to contain. I bold them sometimes if they’re especially aggressive. 
😩: Do they tend to sneeze just once or twice, or multiple times? Do they have fits frequently or rarely? Does how many times they sneeze depend on the cause?
I picture Yoongi to be a one and done type of guy, for the most part. Like I said a second ago I picture his snzes to be relatively intense, so they tend to get the job done after just one. Maybe a second or third one squeeze their way out of him during an especially bad head cold, or if he encounters something he’s allergic to, but otherwise he’s pretty basic. 
🌸: Are they allergic to any kind of plants? Flowers, weeds, trees? If yes, how bad are their allergies to those plants?
I don’t really picture Yoongi as having plant allergies, honestly. I tend to lean more towards animal allergies with him, but that might be because animal allergies are my favourite kind of content to read/write about lmfao. Maybe I’m a little biased that way.
🕯: Are they allergic to other things? Dust, animals, perfumes, certain fragrances? Anything that might be considered “out of the ordinary” to be allergic to? How bad are those allergies?
Cats! Yoongi and cats do not mix. But honestly, he doesn’t really care that much. Frankly the others tend to worry more about it then he does. He just sort of deals with it and doesn’t give a shit. I also really like btsnz’s hc about yoongi having mild issues with dust and waking up a little congested in certain hotels. That’s just so -chef’s kiss-
👃: In general, how sensitive is their nose? Can something like a certain flower or smell make them sneeze even if they’re not allergic to it? Do they sneeze a lot on average, or not very much? Does their nose twitch a lot, or barely ever at all?  
I feel like for the most part he has a pretty average sensitivity. He only really gets sneezy during a particularity hard hitting head cold or he has a run in with cats he wasn’t really expecting. Maybe sometimes an extra strong scent might coax a single sneeze out of him but it’s not often. I don’t think his nose twitches very much but he is a notorious nose rubber. Yoongi scrubs the absolute shit out of his nose. 
😭: When they’re sick, do they try to downplay their symptoms, or do they treat every little cold like the plague? Do they whine a lot, or do they complain quietly or even just in their head?
Yoongi does not say shit. Not a word. He doesn’t care and just silently deals with it because it is what it is. Like I said earlier I feel like he mostly sneaks under the radar when sick. Occasionally some of the more perceptive members notice something is off, but even then it’s only half of the time and towards the very tail end. 
✨: What would be the best way for someone to induce them? Feathers, rolled-up tissue, or something else? How much stimulation would it take for them to start sneezing? Would inducing produce just one or two sneezes from them, or multiples?
Ya’ll idkkkk I’m so bad when it comes to inducing scenarios lmfaooo. I feel like in the end, whatever was being used, Yoongi would just try to bat it out of the person’s hand and probably scoot away with his face scrunched up. He’d just rub whatever itch the other caused out of his nose fast as fuck, and would probably be pretty annoyed afterwards, too lol.
💦: How wet are their sneezes? Do they spray barely at all, or are you gonna need an umbrella? Do they try to cover at all, or just let it go? Do they sniffle a lot when they’re sick or allergies are bugging them?
I actually feel like Yoongi’s sneezes are pretty dry, for the most part. Maybe they start to get a little wetter in the middle of one of his colds or if his allergies get aggravated for whatever reason. I feel like he mostly tries to cover with at least one hand, sometimes both. If no one is really around him he’ll just let them loose towards the floor. Definitely sniffles a lot, and again, scrubs the absolute shit out of his nose. 
🤝: Do they like to be taken care of when they’re not feeling well? Or do they hate it when people fuss over them? If they do, what’s their favorite thing about being taken care of? If not, why don’t they like being taken care of? How bad would they have to be before they’d let anyone take care of them in any capacity?
Oh fuck no. Yoongi wants to be left alone. He likes to keep to himself in general anyway and absolutely hates when the others dote on him. He’s not gonna...like, refuse something if they bring it to him (like food, tissues, whatever) but his thank you’s are more-so grunts and hums of acknowledgement. 
💊: Do they take their medicine like a grown-up, or do they try to fight it? Do they prefer pills or liquid medicine? Can they be “tricked” by having the medicine mixed with applesauce or with a drink, or would they still not take it even then?
Yoongi is a grown ass man, he takes his medicine right away lol. I picture him as being more of a pill guy but I’m sure he takes a shot of liquid medicine to coat his throat if it’s starting to feel extra raw. I feel like he’d also swallow his pills dry without much issue or complaint, and usually has a bottle of something or other on his person.
🍲: What do they like to eat while they’re sick? Do they like soup, or would they prefer something that isn’t “sick person food”? Do they lose their appetite when they’re sick, or are they hungrier than usual?
I definitely think he’s the type to lose his appetite when sick. I feel like he doesn’t have much of an appetite to begin with anyway and when he’s sick everything is just amplified. When he does eat though, I feel like he leans more towards porridge and soup, things that feel good on his throat and don’t take a lot of time to make. 
🍵: Do they like tea when they’re not feeling well? If so, do they like it with honey, lemon, both, with something else, or just plain? Would they accept something else if they couldn’t have tea? If they don’t like tea, is there something they’d rather drink instead? Would they drink tea if their preferred drink wasn’t available?
I feel like Yoongi will drink tea if one of the members brings him some, or if the staff orders him a cup. It’s probably not something he’d think to make on his own, though. In terms of preference, I feel like he’d just like it plain, or with just a hint of honey and lemon, but really he’ll drink whatever they bring him. I’m also picturing him as being someone who drinks a lot of water when he’s not feeling well to try to kick the thing in the ass as soon as possible. Probably even drinks hot water with a touch of lemon too because it feels so nice on his throat. And coffee. Lots and lots of coffee. Mostly because that’s his go to drink in general, lol.
😔: What are their “tells” when they’re not feeling their best? Do they sleep more or less? Do they become easily irritated, aggressive, snap at little things? Or do they withdraw and become quieter, cry at the drop of a hat, stay in the background? What’s the one surefire way that one of their loved ones would be able to tell that they’re sick?
Yoongi has 0 tells. None. Maybe he sort of withdraws into himself a little bit more, but he’s like that a lot normally, so it tends to just go over everyone’s heads. He typically likes it that way, anyway.
❄️: Would it be more unusual to see this character sick during the winter or during the summer? Do they typically go down during cold and flu season, or do they usually get summer colds?
Yoongi gets sick every winter. In fact, he’d actually be surprised if he didn’t catch a cold during flu season. It’s not unheard of for him to catch the occasional summer cold, probably especially during tours, but he’s almost guarantee to get one when the temperatures start to drop. 
🎤: How does their voice change when they’re sick or allergies are bugging them? Does their voice get lower? Scratchy? Raspy? Can you hear any congestion in their voice or do they hide it well? Do they avoid speaking too much because of a sore throat and coughing, or do they try to talk through those things?
Yoongi’s voice gets low and gravely. Maybe husky would be a good way to describe it, too. He keeps pretty quiet when he’s sick, especially if his throat feels particularly hoarse. I can picture congestion being present in his voice as well; rounded consonants and thicker vowels. Definitely more noticeable the closer you are to him. I guess if he did have a tell then his voice would probably be it. 
⚙️: Do they have some kind of ritual that they do when they’re not feeling great that helps? Does it help physically, or does it just make them feel better emotionally?
Not really. If you count taking medicine as a “ritual” then I guess that would be it, lmfao. He just carries on as normal.
😳: Are they embarrassed by their sneezes, or do they just not really care? Do they apologize after sneezing? Do they say “sorry!” or “excuse me!” or anything like that? If they’re embarrassed about it, why?
I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s embarrassed per say, but I’m sure he’s not the biggest fan of snzing around others solely because it draws unwanted attention to himself. I can see him muttering a quiet “sorry, excuse me” under his breath sometimes, but I definitely think Yoongi is a post-snz swearer lmfao. Like “hH’GSSHHhiu!--fuck.”
😥: How would they react to being sick for their favorite holiday or their birthday? Would they be really upset, or not get too bent out of shape? What would they do if somebody gave them a gift that they’re allergic to? Would they say they’re allergic to it or not? Try to give it back, keep it, or get rid of it later?
Eeh. I don’t think he’d care too much if I’m being honest. I feel like it’s probably happened before and he’s just dealt with it. It is what it is. It’s more of a nuisance than anything else. In terms of getting him a gift he’s allergic to, maybe if he were to get a cologne that makes his nose itch he’d just thank the gift-giver and then shove it at the very back of one of his cabinets, never really looking at it again after that.
❤️: What’s your absolute favorite scenario for them? It can be anything, sickness, allergies, or something else entirely!
Yoongi and cats fucking wreck me. I love the Yoongi x animal allergies combo so so so much. I also really like the general scenario of him catching a cold and just working through it. I love nonchalant Yoongi with my entire heart lol.
📝: Quick! Come up with a scenario for them! It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just something you think would be cute or something you’d like to see with them!
Going off of what I said earlier; Yoongi gets a cologne from someone (Jin maybe? Namjoon?) for Christmas. He pops the cap off, takes like ONE sniff, and his face instantly screws up. Good god. There is no way he is wearing that. It’s the thought that counts, right?
📕: Write something a little longer with them! (Asker can provide a prompt, or can leave it up to the one receiving the ask!) 
ALRIGHT. Since there was no prompt, I’m just going to write out that scenario I typed up! Here we go!
~
“Merry Christmas!” 
Namjoon’s dimpled face smiled expectedly at Yoongi as the older man held a sleek, black bottle of cologne tightly in one hand. Wrapping paper from the gift littered the floor around his feet as he inspected the bottle curiously, turning it over in his palm.
“Cologne, huh?” He smiled, turning to Namjoon to nod his head in appreciation. “It’s great, Joon-ah. Thanks.”
“Of course, hyung. I really struggled this year. I wanted to find you the perfect gift, but as soon as I smelled this I knew I had to get it for you.” Namjoon explained excitedly. “It reminded me of you.”
“Mm. Really?” Yoongi hummed inquisitively, popping off the cap of the bottle. 
Namjoon watched on with anticipation as Yoongi brought the nozzle of the bottle close to his nose and gave a tentative sniff. 
He recoiled back instantly, pulling the bottle far away from himself as his face screwed up involuntarily. The cologne was strong, very strong, and wasted no time assaulting his senses. His nose tingled aggressively and he kept his eyes squeezed shut, bringing up his free hand to clamp hard around his nose and mouth as he shoved the bottle of cologne into his lap with the other.
“Hh--hH’IGKSHhuh!” He sneezed harshly, rocking into his hand and away from Namjoon as best he could.
He came up blinking hard, and locked eyes with Namjoon who frowned deeply.
“Uh oh.” The leader uttered, the disappointment in his voice very prevalent.
“Yeah,” Yoongi sniffled, “Uh oh. Merry Christmas.” 
~
(Hopefully you guys like that!!)
🌈: WILD CARD!!! Make up your own question or just talk about the character!
HONESTLY, I think I’ve said enough lmfao! My ending note is this: I fucking love Yoongi. Thanks for coming to my ted talk.
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spiffydolan · 6 years
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I got to the beach today but not until later like around sunset and it was beautiful. I still had fun though, I got drunk and danced around without music haha. Only a few people saw me but I don't think they cared, probably thought I was crazy lol. Ouch! Didn't that hurt to get pierced?? I'm not really into tattoos and piercings myself so I don't have any. I'm scared of needles but there is one tattoo I would consider getting if I was brave enough. Wbu? Any tattoos or other piercings? -Star
Aww that’s so nice to see the sunset on the beach!! And that honestly sounds like a lot of fun to just be so carefree and dance around on the beach. ugh that makes me really happy just thinking about!!
It didn’t really hurt to get it pierced!! idk what all I said on the last ask from you, but I got my second holes pierced last Sunday, and then got the cartilage the other night. They kinda had the same level of pain, which was really even only just a pinch. I got my second holes done with a gun, and the cartilage was done with a needle. The needle takes a little longer… so the pain/pinch lasted longer. But it truly wasn’t that bad!! It hurt pretty bad for about an hour afterwards… but I think it was the because the way my hair was at the time, it kept getting caught on the earring and tugging on it a little ?? But since then I’ve had my hair in a high ponytail to keep that from happening 😂
I don’t have any other piercings tho! And no tattoos! I definitely want some smaller tattoos one day… but I’m gonna wait until I’m a little older for that! I’ll probably continue getting a few more ear piercings until then, but nothing too crazy!! I want another piercing just below my cartilage - and I lowkey want a double conch but I feel like that would hurt so much :// ooh or even my tragus or anti tragus ugh idkkkk I just think they all look so cool!!!!! I’m not the type to look like I want a bunch of piercings tho which is so weird, but I’m digging it hahahaha
Okay this answer was so freaking long omg I’m sorry. You said there’s a tattoo that you might want one day!! What does it looks like? Where do you think you’d get it?
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wannawrite · 6 years
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who?: Hotshot’s Yoonsan, Hojung genre: 🌸 type: drabble word count: 1.6K blog navigator. • Yoonsan seems to have caught feelings for you • the only person in the way is Hojung, your protective brother I’m so happy Hotshot is working now, even though they are all split up :”) I’m just extremely proud. Thank you for requesting @huis-totally-innocent-smirk, apologies for the late post and so sorry for only completing one. Played with the format a bit, I hope it’s still readable aha, imagine it’s from a third-party perspective, maybe even like a game. - Admin L 
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disclaimer: pictures used do not belong to me and credit goes to their original owners 
2 February 2018 7.26pm CONVERSATION between YOONSAN and HOJUNG “You’re kidding,” Hojung scoffed, turning to look away from his best friend, eyes rolling. “Hyung, you can’t date my sister. No. She’s off limits.” Yoonsan’s lips curved into an irritated pout, he sighed and sprawled his form out on the dance room floor. “I just wanted to tell you. Help me put in a good word will ya?” Hojung rarely got mad at his rather quiet and bashful best friend, Yoonsan was not the kind of guy to lash out at other about petty problems he faced. He could be grumpy and a tad bit less understanding at times but that was all there was to his tantrums. However, this was a different story, this time he was actually contemplating starting a feud. “How could you even like her? You don’t even talk to her privately? All you do is get that 3 seconds of talk time whenever she brings me lunch or something. Please don’t call it love, please don’t break her heart like this. It isn’t genuine,” Hojung pointed out, his brain frantically analysing the situation, trying to find a loophole in Yoonsan’s confession. Yoonsan only knew you from those moments that lasted no longer than a minute, he couldn’t possibly be attached to a fleeting silhouette. Again, his friend shrugged it off casually, like he wasn’t being fiercely interrogated. Yoonsan avoided eye contact, shutting his eyes as if he was completely serene. “Maybe those 3 seconds was all she needed to steal my heart.”
31 December 2017 11.53pm TEXT MESSAGES between YOU and YOONSAN San: hey San: idw to come off as creepy or anything but I’m gonna try to forge better friendships with my acquaintances San: now, you’re only Hojung’s little sister but I hope we’ll be friends in the new year San: lol haven’t I known you since you were 8? HAHAHAHAHA 11.55pm You: oh gosh hi hdksijssb You: awww that’s so nice of you, it’s great to make more friends and OH GOSH YES YOU HAVE AND I WAS STILL SHY AROUND HOJUNG’S FRIENDS DHJSKSJDND IT WAS SO AWKWARD NO San: I still have pictures of all of us from that era, courtesy of Junhyuk hyung’s mum You:... You: WHAT NO You: NO NO NO NO NO DELETE THEM YOU UGLY You: DISGUSTING San: *PICTURE* San: *PICTURE* The sender has attached more than 10 files. Click here to open files. You: ARE THOSE PICTURES OF MY BRO You: GOOD TEA FOR FAMILY NEW YEAR’S REUNION HAHA THANKS San: is this how we’re bonding? San: nice to know, I have a meme folder just for Hojung You: SEND San: *PICTURE* The sender has reached attachment limit. Please wait for received files to finish loading before more can be received. 12am San: HAPPY NEW YEAR San: with this coming new year, I hope to only grow closer to my new friend and that we’ll make more enjoyable and happy memories together San: friendship? You: HAPPY NEW YEAR🎊🎉💓 You: awww :”) You: of course! We should hang out sometime lol idk if my bro will be 100% happy abt this tho San: aha why wouldn’t he be 12.02am You: I think you already know why
3 January 2018 1.42pm MEETING and CONVERSATION between YOONSAN and YOU She’s pretty, he thinks. Especially with that cold winter blush painted across her cheeks. He’s cute, you think. I think it’s adorable he has sweater paws in a turtleneck. Neither of you says that out loud, but they say someone’s genuine thoughts can be seen through their eyes. Eyes are like the mirrors of your soul. Instead, you clink tea cups and sip on hot chocolate, admiring the last few snowflakes dotting on the large window on your right. This cafe was your idea but the outing was San’s. He appeared awfully mismatched with the whole cheerful fairyland aesthetic but you found it even more attractive. It was not an awkward mismatch but a surprisingly pleasant one like purple and yellow. This isn’t a date, you reminded yourself, taking a cookie from the platter and putting it to your lips as your mind worked to come up with a conversation starter other than ‘what memes have you got of my bro,’. Just talk to him like he’s a friend. “What song’s are you working on right now?” you blurted out then wondered if it was too peculiar or personal of a question. San liked the fact that you took interest in his passion for music. Honestly, he could never hold a face-to-face conversation for long but talking about his music was a different story. He could go on about it for ages. Ugh, he’s so cute when he talks about his passion for music. Oh wow, the small smiles his lips pull into are really charming. Just a friend. Just a friend, Yoonsan. Pull yourself together and calm down. Isn’t this what you wanted? Girls can sense when you’re nervous around them. He’s the forbidden fruit. She’s my forbidden fruit. Both of you remained in Eden, drinking mugs of hot chocolate with extra marshmallows floating inside and biting into butter cookies, wishing all fruits were edible.
8 January 2018 8.18pm MEETING with YOU and HOTSHOT “Uhh San said he’s at Sungwoon’s house playing Fifa or something,” you replied to your parents’ question on where your older brother was. “Oh good,” your father commented. “I need to drop by their house to ask Sungwoon’s grandfather about the new fertiliser I bought. I was wondering if he had tested it yet. Want to get your brother back together?” If I go, I would see San for a bit...I MEAN, see my brother more and see Sungwoon and see Grandfather Ha. It isn’t all about San! “Uh, sure! Just let me...change!” The sentence had not been finished before your form disappeared up the staircase. The drive to Sungwoon’s place made you anticipated yet nervous for no apparent reason. After all, it was just your big brother and some of his close friends. Nothing else to it. For some reason, your hands shook as you closed the car door and walked into the house. “Go and get your brother.” Breathe. At first, San didn’t even look up from his phone when the door of Sungwoon��s bedroom opened but his head snapped up when he heard your melodious voice calling a greeting. A silly smile slipped onto his face as he bashfully waved back, trying not to garner Hojung’s attention. However, Hojung had already gotten a hunch on the interaction but he tried to brush it off. “Ahh, you know Dad won’t be leaving anytime soon. Join me, I’m winning anyway,” Hojung offered, holding up a game controller. He quickly went back to the game, yelling excitedly when you scored a goal against Taehyun and Sungwoon. San’s admiration for you only grew.
2 February 2018 11.28pm TEXT MESSAGES between HOJUNG and SUNGWOON Hojung: like what...do they think I’m blind or something...I get that this was bound to happen but idk how to feel Hojung: I know hyung is a good guy and all but I’m just unsure Hojung: am I being paranoid or mean? Sungwoon: Nah I don’t think so, you’re just looking out for your friends. It doesn’t hurt to be a nice guy like that Sungwoon: san is a nice guy and I’ll be honest and say I never saw it coming Sungwoon: I just need to know if it is genuine or if he’s just doing this for fun or something Hojung: I think they have been texting and meeting up privately bc she’s been quite shady and quiet about her ‘outings’ lately Hojung: idkkkk I’m just...kind of annoyed? Yet relieved that its hyung and not some creep Hojung: idw to lose any of my close friends bc of something like this you know? Sungwoon: I’d say maybe you should talk to them first! After all, it isn’t official right? They just have feelings but they haven’t said anything to each other Sungwoon: tbh it’s cute haha Sungwoon: I think they need to bond more before putting a label on anything. Feels that way. I don’t want anyone to make dumb mistakes with dating Hojung: I feel you. I think I just need time to absorb it. This feels like a pesky annoyance I can’t help it. I just want what is best for everyone Hojung: thanks, hyung, go and rest now. I’ll talk to them Sungwoon: sleep early as well, don’t stress about it 1.15am TEXT MESSAGES between HOJUNG and YOU Hojung: hey sis Hojung: hate to scare you and break it to you but I know about you and Yoonsan, he kind of told me personally today Hojung: don’t freak I know you guys aren’t dating but you can’t exactly hide anything from your big bro Hojung: ...honestly, I’m not sure how to react...knowing how close you both are to me. I’m glad to like a decent guy I suppose Hojung: talk to me about it okay? I just don’t want you to get hurt. Get to know each other a bit more. Hojung: good night, although you’re already sleeping. See you tomorrow 2.21am TEXT MESSAGES between HOJUNG and YOONSAN Hojung: hyung, sorry to text late but abt what you told me...I know how I feel about it Hojung: it’s so annoying Hojung: but I’m willing to accept it if you talk it out with me and her. You’re not a bad guy....hopefully. Please still be the same hyung I’ve known for most of my life. Hojung: I want you two to be real about it. No point dating if feelings are merely fabricated. I don’t need broken hearts and I can’t see my family get hurt, hear me? Hojung: ....just...talk to me and talk to her okay? See you tomorrow
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