#eventually fix my sleep schedule maybe. idk its just a year to figure everything out but its difficult to move again

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

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#its 6am and im awake!! (not good) #ive kind of shifted my sleep schedule to be the worst it could possibly be #yesterday i slept from 8-9am and then 11am-5pm #and thats kind of where it's settled. whoch is not good #my roommate who is a sleep scientist says thats going to kill me and i believe that because i already feel like im dying #its just so nice to be awake for sunrise tho! and i couldnt wake up this early so my only option is to stay awake to see it #i think ive seen the sunrise more in the past two weeks than ever before in my life #on a note that feels related but probably isnt- im moving in may. in two months #'but austyn i remember you moved this time last year' youre right! im bad at staying in one place!! #im moving back in with my parents because this city is expensive and i need a year to figure my life out #i didnt think i was going to make it to 18 and thats now fucking up my life #how is it fucking up my life? because i made no plans for anything past high school and instead have just been bouncing from thing to thing #trying to make a life when i thought i would be dead. so i moved and moved and moved again and now i have no money no prospects #no drive no plan no ideas no future etc #so thats all catching up to me and im gonna take a year to save up and get on my feet and reconnect with my psychiatrist and restart therapy #my psychiatrist is gonna be mad that i just went a year with no meds but its fine. just remembered i should try to set up an appointment now #okay gonna set up an appointment at 8 when they open. shes a very in demand psychiatrist. and idk if i can go back to her after a year #theyre very nice there so im sure theyll help me figure it out. so im gonna get my mental health bsck on track #eventually fix my sleep schedule maybe. idk its just a year to figure everything out but its difficult to move again #i hate moving. ive said it once ill say it again. moving kills a part of your soul. especially moving back in with your parents #just gonna be venting about this for awhile actually #maybe ill go for a walk at like 7am cuz the weather has been so nice lately i love it #ive been walking part of the way home from work because its so nice #i truly just dont want to sleep. i want to do things but i dont have the energy to do them. yknow. this sucks #anyway. gonna tey to get my life together but so far im doing pretty bad