#everyone else: bruce he's a crime lord. he's literally killed hundreds of people

[envysparkler]

Trick or treat! Love your writing!

Roy fidgeted with his coffee, glancing at the barista, at the menu, outside the glass walls to the gloomy Gotham winter, at the cute, coffee-themed centerpieces on the table, and, in short, everything that wasn't Dick.

Dick smiled.

Roy flinched, even though he wasn't looking in Dick's direction, and Dick's smile grew teeth. He wrestled them away, because he wasn't actually trying to terrify his old friend. At least not yet.

Roy did not look appeased.

"So," he said finally, when he realized Dick wasn't going to break the silence. Dick was the one who'd run into him stumbling out of his little brother's apartment covered in hickeys, Dick was allowed to wait him out. "How--how have you been?"

"Fantastic," Dick answered, taking a sip of his latte. "What brings you to Gotham?"

Roy winced. For a moment, Dick wondered if he was going to stutter out an excuse and flee--but Arsenal was made of stronger stuff than that.

"I was working a case with Jason," Roy said evenly.

"'Working a case'," Dick repeated lightly. "Is that what the kids call it these days?"

Roy winced again. Subtle jab about the age difference, successful.

"Look, man, I know he's your little brother, but Jay can take care of himself! Also, this is totally discrimination, how come you're giving a shovel talk to me and not Kori?"

Dick did not raise his eyebrows though he very much wanted to. Roy and Kori? He didn't know whether to be offended or impressed. Even he hadn't had the balls to go for both of them at once.

"Who said this was a shovel talk?" Dick took another sip to hide his growing smile.

"You practically dragged me to this coffee shop for an interrogation--"

"I just wanted to catch up--"

"--and I don't care what you say, if Jason wants me to leave, he'll tell me, so I won't take any of your bullshit--"

"I literally didn't say anything--"

"--and I really like him, and Kori too, so I'm not giving them up for anyone or anything!" Roy ended on a defiant shout.

Dick studied him. His cheeks were red, but his eyes were determined. Dick knew just how stubborn Roy could be when he set his mind to something, and it seemed like the full force of his protection now rested on Jay.

Dick took another sip. "I'm happy for you," he said when he could open his mouth without laughing.

"I don't care--what?" Roy looked dumbfounded. "You what?"

"You're one of my oldest friends," Dick finally gave into the chuckle. "I'm thrilled that you're happy, and that Jason is too. And Kori." Roy narrowed his eyes. "I don't know why you thought this was a shovel talk."

Roy squinted suspiciously. "Because you Bats are the most overprotective fuckers on the planet."

Dick widened his eyes in his best approximation of an innocent look. Roy, after years on the Titans, was unfortunately immune.

"I know you're up to something," he growled.

"I'm just enjoying a coffee with an old friend, who I recently discovered is dating my little brother," Dick said serenely. "I have no ulterior motives here."

Roy hmphed.

Dick hid his smile again and leaned across the table, dropping his voice to a whisper. "Because when Batman finds out you've been working in his city and defiling his favorite, precious, innocent child..."

Roy went gray, face washing out underneath his freckles.

"...well, it was good to catch up while we could," Dick finishes his coffee and stands up. "Best of luck, Arsenal."

#envy answers #trick or treat #my snippets #shovel talk #jay/roy/kori #my personal headcanon is that jay is forever bruce's little precious cinnamon roll #because bruce's strongest memory is him at fifteen #everyone else: bruce he's a crime lord. he's literally killed hundreds of people #bruce: MY BABY