#exposing my innards my heart and my mind because thats all i ever did as a kid growing up online

[freshmeatz]

fun leech information of the day even if it's too personal I given my heart out on a platter constantly and I just cant bother to care anymore

#everything went into a stasis for me when i was 15 #and what i mean by that is when ive basically ripped myself apart over and over again ive basically become someone i cant even recognize #anymore at all #i dont feel my age despite needing to be im scared of everything and everyone i dont feel like an adult and i still feel like #im stuck being 15 in my head everyone before me everyone after me ive lost myself on the internet and i will always become situated as a mem #Memory of what i use to be and it fuckinfnsucks i dont feel right in my body i dont feel right in my head and i kust feel fuckinfnstupid all #the time everyday every night #recent events from maybe last year resedimented this fear and i fucking resent what happened but its all too late anyways #i feel sick of kyself im tired and all inwant tondo is spend time with people because i cant stand being alone but that means always exposin #exposing my innards my heart and my mind because thats all i ever did as a kid growing up online #i dint know who i am anymore im just leech now or something I don't knownehy im pouring mybheart out like thisni fell so stupid but i just #cant fucking get a grasp on myself i had to force msyelf to grow up and now im fucjing Violently regressing backwards and its just getting #to the point i wanna scream and cry my eyes out i hate that i dont feel secure anymore I hate how clingy i am i hate thag im liek this