#feat me today stumbling around campus on > 4 hours of sleep and one protein bar

[callixton]

i really sort of am the poster child for an unhealthy workaholic

#feat me today stumbling around campus on > 4 hours of sleep and one protein bar #+ there’s some other thing going on with me where i have to somehow mentally reward pushing myself and that leads to a dangerous feedback #- loop #so i go oh i wonder what would happen to my body if i just didn’t eat at all and collapsed. what would that feel like #(i’m Not doing this for the record. i’m meeting a friend for food in 20 minutes) #it’s not even depression i know exactly how that kind of self destruction feels and this is unfortunately just my baseline #it’s the masochism innit. (and not even the fun kind :/) #i may also be being dramatic on account of the not eating or sleeping. that’s a real possibility #WOA do i wanna write some whumpy fic abt my problems soon tho #um. idk how to tag this. its not quite a vent #ted talks