#for each kick of Jim's feet aligning the core i go feral dsfsf

[darehearts]

just thinking about how mind blowing it is that due to the differences in  my  portrayal of Jim and the movie canon,  and how there's a lot more detail and fleshed out interactions in my timeline with a bunch of yalls muses that st:id events hit differently and brutally.  the fall of the Enterprise is an identical parallel to Jim's journey and his ultimate downfall.  it's a symbolism for him falling downward to his inevitable end in flames.  the warp core misalignment is a metaphor for his own demons misaligning his heart,  causing to be out of synch,  leading him to deny himself his potential he thought he grasped by the end of the 2009 movie,  making him pretend he's okay because that's what his brother told him when he left — that he'd be okay no matter what.  it's a metaphor for distancing himself from his friendships with his crew,  rejecting his love for Carol.  whenever i watch that scene where Jim goes into the chamber to put his lady the Enterprise back together so she can pull up,  i know it's not just her core that he's trying to align,  it's also himself he's trying to resuscitate,  but when he does,  he sees that it's too late.  by the time he realizes his mistakes,  he's already dead.  even when the Enterprise wakes up when the core is back,  she buzzes and shocks him,  pushing him away from herself as if to ask him  'why did it have to be you?'  'why are YOU here?'  'it shouldn't be you'.  his only solace is that he gets to save the people he cares more than anything about,  even if he won't get a chance to make amends and even if he won't be able to get back the time he feels he ruined.  this is why st:id is so damn personal to me and my absolute fucking favorite of the trilogy.

#| ★ META #I AM UNWELL ABOUT JIM AND IT WILL #CONTINUE....... ASKJDSKJFJSFSF I AM FINE. IT'S CHILL #this is why i cannot listen to 'warp core values' from the ost #and not start crying whenever the piano rhythmically hits #for each kick of Jim's feet aligning the core i go feral dsfsf #😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭