he swore to himself that he would not get tangled up with any of his crew members anymore. & maybe that promise alone is where he’s gone wrong. Kirk has plenty of rules to follow in his beloved home, some of which he takes too seriously, tying his honor to them. however, his world feels upside down when it comes to the blonde. he’s reluctant to let go. doing so leaves him with nothing but an awkward smile & his weight slightly shifting on his spot, considering, in technicality, he shouldn’t have kissed her.
he shouldn’t have it’s why it was all the sweeter. ❝ it’s much more preferable to a fight of phasers. ❞ Jim comments. his tone is smooth & at its usual frequency. at least, he seems fine EXTERNALLY. within his heart, it’s a different story. ❝ i don’t know what came over me. ❞ he tells Carol with a soft expression, lips pursing as his gaze shifts down at her boots & then up at her features. this feels like a good time to sprinkle some honesty into their conversation. ❝ you have a particular EFFECT on me that i cannot explain. i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable. ❞
he seems to embrace her fiery personality & stubbornness. almost delighting in it & daring her to keep going as if to see how far she's willing to take it. luckily, the blonde isn't someone who backs down from a challenge or otherwise. it's thrilling━an addictive feeling that she needs to watch out for before she's in too deep with no way out. after all, this is HER CAPTAIN. if anyone has anything to lose here, it isn't him. however, life isn't without risks, so she cuts off his path & silences him with a smirk on her features. her lips part to let out some ridiculous remark, only for her to be silenced in return.
her gaze widens once his mouth captures hers. for a second, she's too stunned to properly react before surrendering to him. her head tilts as she gets hold of his gold shirt & her mouth opens slightly, hoping for more. rationality is out of the window even as he pulls back & lies. she blinks in confusion. ❛ i wasn't even speaking . . . ❜ the lady straightens her RED outfit to have something to do while her heart presses violently against her chest. he's a good kisser. must be one heck of a passionate lover . . . what is she thinking ?! Carol clears her throat, trying to regain her composure. ❛ furthermore, that is cheating. yanno, you can't solve everything or WIN every argument by kissing people. nice as it is . . . ❜ the last four words are but mumbles under her breath.
@darehearts from here.
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good morning a hot take perhaps but it is totally okay to write goofy things with your muses ?? not all threads will make perfect sense or fit the concepts or themes you want to explore. not every reply has to be nobel prize worthy. sometimes you gotta stop thinking and just have fun with your writing partners ! 😌💞
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he was beginning to wonder why it was taking too long for an outburst to occur. Kirk has always known his communication ability dwindled over time as centuries passed in bloodbaths & twisted displays of roaring rage. he spewed tar forever.
the tragedy is that he’s coming on too strong even without wanting to. there’s a part of him ordering everybody around, looking past their pain. if he endured what he had, no one should have an excuse.
realizing such a concept CANNOT apply to his queen, he lets her shout, watching her with slightly widened eyes. if not for his blinking, one might assume he’s frozen by the kitchen counter. déjà vu he watches her go past him again.
how conflicted his heart is ! how it burns knowing what he does ! he still cannot process it. a minute later, Kirk follows Carol to the dock. ❝ I’M SORRY. ❞ he announces after coming to a halt a big step behind her. it’s the first time he’s apologized to anyone since losing his crew. ❝ i promised i’d never hurt you, but i have. ❞
it doesn't take long before she regrets coming out. how can someone be so exasperating ? he has a real talent for it. not to mention those big balls for coming back here like his actions weren't a big deal. can't he see how annoyed she is ? he should give her some time.
hell, he could try a softer approach instead of trying to impose his will on her. it is always what HE wants, when he wants it. he leaves for a day, then comes back, & she's supposed to welcome him with open arms ?
❛ no ! why should i listen to anything you have to say, huh ?! ❜ Carol takes a sharp turn in his direction, her index finger pointing right at his chest. thankfully, he remains at a distance, or who knows what she'd do. ❛ is that supposed to intimidate me ? because it doesn't. ❜
what an asshole ! first, he sends her into a panic, & makes her look for him everyone. does he have any idea what he put her through ? no, he doesn't. & now he's trying to justify his actions like that would change how AWFUL he made her feel. ❛ if you don't want to be quiet, then you can stay here instead & i will go this time. ❜ & she goes out the back door, walking in the direction of the dock.
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according to Kirk, whatever form of punishment she deems fit for him is acceptable because he went back on his word & left. he can only hope that his somewhat swift return will help him salvage the remaining broken pieces of her trust in him.
not to mention the news the truth that he half pretends to ignore will sink into this house soon.
he waited centuries at a time before, so however long passed doesn’t bother the ex-captain. he simply EXISTS where he sits, trying to keep his mind blank. it’s not easy. once the bathroom door opens & Carol goes past him, his gaze follows her movements without a flinch.
Kirk follows the lady into the kitchen a minute later, just in case she needs to gather herself. ❝ i’m not trying to sell you anything. ❞ he announces.
❝ you don’t have to talk to me, but you must LISTEN. can you do that ? nod if so, you’ll need to take a seat for what i’m about to tell you. ❞ his gaze travels from her very annoyed face to the nearest chair. is that disbelief in her gaze ? ❝ I DON’T PLAY AROUND, CAROL. ❞
at least he's not trying to barge in here. still, if she knows anything about him, it's that he won't give up. both are prepared to wait it out, but they know she can't be in there forever. ugh. for a second, she wonders if she's overreacting; after all, he did come back. only to tell herself she has a right to be MAD at him.
he can't do whatever the hell he wants & expect her to always be here, waiting, simply because she has feelings for him !
❛ dammit. ❜ so much for waiting until he walked off. should she go out there ? he probably expects her to go off on him, which is precisely why she can't. & why is he talking so much all of a sudden ? could he have something IMPORTANT to share ? it could be a ruse to get her to come out, even if it isn't his style.
what does she know ? a couple of days ago, she didn't think he'd leave her, but he proved her wrong. let him suffer !
a while later ( not knowing how long it has been ), Carol emerges but walks right past him. ❛ whatever you are trying to sell, i don't want it. ❜ she announces, moving towards the kitchen. ❛ i'm still NOT talking to you. ❜
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The best bit of advice I ever got was during my teaching training a few years ago. “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. You can’t devote yourself to anything - a job, a person, a hobby, a craft - if you’ve nothing left in you.
Take breaks. Rest. Prioritise your health. Refill your cup.
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❝ I WON’T LIE TO YOU. ❞ it’s probably the worst thing he could say, but the ex-captain is tragically being honest in his statement. he picks up how Carol will not answer him, so he goes on. ❝ i left because i didn’t know what to do with myself after what i discovered. it’s thrown everything off-scale forever. ❞ she will think he’s batshit, certified crazy once he tells her what he thinks.
rather, what he KNOWS. that will be until she sees the truth for herself.
❝ it will do the same to you once you find out, i’m afraid. ❞ Kirk adds, wondering if he should leave & wait by the fireplace or settle on the floor. he opts for the latter & takes a seat slowly. he tentatively gives his back to the door because he doesn’t think she’ll come around fast.
❝ i’ll wait here until you’re ready. ❞
keeping her mouth shut is harder than it seems. all she can do is wait & hope he will grow weary of talking to the door, even if that chance is slim. she's more likely to get tired of being confined in here than him. for now, she leans against the sink & listens. are these the most words he's ever uttered in a such a SHORT period of time ? it's weird.
but she won't be sucked in ! whatever news he has, he can shove them right up his ass !
she doesn't forgive him. not yet, at least. sometimes, it is hard for her to admit how soft she becomes when her feelings are involved. as much as she wants to be mad at him forever, they both know she can't. she doesn't have it in her. it's a good thing she can't look into those PRETTY eyes of his, or it would be over even quicker.
Carol crosses her arms over her chest & offers no reply.
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❝ how the hell do you know THAT ? i thought ❞ Jim doesn’t allow himself to complete that thought, breath sucked back into his lungs as he stares up from his seat. he expected to be thrown back in the past, but he’s starting to feel like he’s not in the right reality anymore. ❝ what do you know about him ? ❞
Cobalt eyes are blown wide open. What did they just say? At first he thought it was just a coincidence. It was one of the best and most authentic costumes he had seen at Comic Con but could it be---POSSIBLE? No. That would be improbable. Then again all things were probable with science.
"Could you... repeat yourself do you mean as in--Beam me up Scotty?"
@darehearts
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his already labyrinthine mind is buried in the darkness of his newly introduced unknowns. he suspects he has feelings that run deep within him, heading towards a half broken heart that she has resurrected. the beat of it is not consistent, & his discovery STOPPED it for a while, leading him to flee like a coward.
he doesn’t answer at first but still follows her to the bathroom. ❝ it’s not what you think, Carol. i didn’t leave because i decided to execute my EVIL PLANS then changed my mind. ❞ Kirk explains calmly, placing a hand on the door that he will not open out of respect for her.
he used violence too much & too long. it just doesn’t feel suitable for this. ❝ i left because i . . . received some news i can’t share with you unless we’re face-to-face. ❞ his hand hesitantly falls on the doorknob.
after a clench of his jaw, he lets it to without turning it. ❝ can you forgive me ? ❞
jerk. he comes waltzing back in like it is not a big deal that he's been gone for over twenty-four hours. he could have left her a note, at least. instead, he leaves her to imagine the worst, especially right after filling her head with nonsense about how she'd never be alone as long as HE was around.
maybe that was his plan, to get her to lower her guard so he could do whatever he wanted. as if she could stop him if he ever decided to follow through with his original ideas.
❛ i'm not talking to you. ❜ Carol tells him, doing the opposite of what she just said, but it doesn't matter. those are the LAST words he will hear from her. where is she going ? no idea. anywhere that is away from him at the moment.
it's how she locks the door behind her ( knowing he could bring it down if he wanted ) in the bathroom. he is a man of few words, so she doubts he'd say anything.
@darehearts from here.
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she throws a pillow at his head, completely missing while glaring at him before turning around to walk away. / villain!Jimbo
Kirk expected much worse upon his return. he didn’t even think he’d make it through the door & that if he did, she’d try to shove him out with a sprinkle of profanities dissipating in the air.
the ex-captain knows Carol must feel betrayed, abandoned even, that he simply disappeared into thin air without telling her a word.
but he KNOWS something, a truth that causes every variable he used to calculate his next moves to make no sense. he wanted to come back sooner, not that such can be an excuse. he waited until he was sure he’d remain calm no matter her response.
he reaches & grabs the pillow, following behind the blonde. ❝ i understand you’re mad at me . . . ❞
random prompts for Jim ★ | accepting mutuals only !
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he can feel the slight bite in the lady’s tone. & such realization softens his expression instantly, donning him with a half apologetic glance. ❝ the first thing that pops into my head is the possibility of a TIME-TRAVELING species interacting with them to bring them here, which sounds like something that needs to be corrected if it’s true. ❞ Jim speculates. if Spock were here, he’d tell him to base his comments on facts alone. it’s why he doesn’t elaborate. ❝ we can TRY not to break their rules. ❞ she’ll learn quickly that he’s not the best when following such, especially if he deems the rules stupid. ❝ what’s the rule about others following them ? i hope they won’t turn around and shoot us if we’re closer than a certain amount of meters. ❞
❝ My apologies Captain ... ❞ On the contrary, her tone was anything but apologetic. ❝ I know of them ... they're not trouble. Not exactly. They're just set in their ways. As long as we don't flout any major laws, we'll be alright. What I can't understand is how they're here, now .... they should've all been wiped out a hundred years ago. ❞ Perhaps this was shaping up to be a good day after all. Long dead species back from the brink of extinction! She could picture the book now, gold writing on the cover, endless theories on the inside. ❝ I think it's safe to follow them, as long as we keep our distance. They have rules about that too. ❞
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gentle reminder: you are loved and appreciated by so many people
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leaving her breakfast is one thing, but then he goes out of his way to leave her love notes, a different verse he comes up with daily. the blonde summons the man he CAN be. it turns out he’s a poet. ❝ it DEFINITELY must be me. ❞ he adds with a sure grin, his heart swelling with the idea of Steven being like him in any capacity. somehow, it hasn’t occurred to him yet that their little boy will be a photocopy of him.
before he dips his spoon in for his share of the potato salad, his future wife’s warm touch prompts the cool colors of his gaze to meet her. ❝ don’t apologize . . . ❞ he trails off, nodding in agreement with her thought process. ❝ yes please, thank you. ❞ ‘please’ & ‘thank you’ he’s suddenly taken back to one of their lazy mornings at the academy when they were still delicately crossing the line between friendship & something more. ❝ i don’t know how i’d cope if i were in your shoes. i know that my current work routine is not HEALTHY, and i’m working on it but if i had nothing to do suddenly ❞ Jim chuckles briefly with a shake of his head.
❝ maybe this is good practice for your eventual retirement. you’ll have ME to take care of then. i doubt i’ll ever slow down. ❞
she may not say it enough, but it means a lot to her that every morning, without fail, he leaves a muffin & a warm cup of tea ( her coffee substitute ) for her to have while she reads the news on a PADD. it's how she starts her day after he's gone. sometimes, she has no idea where he finds the time for such things. ❛ feels more like an army sometimes . . . ❜ she says, gently rubbing her small bump. ❛ yanno, i find peanut butter more appealing lately, & i'm pretty sure that's your influence on our kid. ❜
Carol reaches for some cheese before serving both some potato salad. she sets everything down, already able to tell how WORRIED he is, given how he launches into a small monologue. she smiles at him, reaching across to run her thumb over his cheek. ❛ i just complain a lot. i'm sorry, don't take me too seriously, okay ? ❜ she tries to reassure him, but his brow remains furrowed. ❛ sure, i will go check it out. i am sure a few hours would be nice. perhaps what i need is a change of scenery. i am so used to being all over the place it is hard not to have anything concrete to do. ❜ staying in their quarters isn't good for her. there's only so much OVERTHINKING those walls can take. ❛ pickle sandwiches ? ❜ yep, she reaches for one.
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he’s aware of the slowness of her movements, the jaded expression caressing the lady’s features as she heads toward the kitchen, exhaustion cracking her voice ; it all causes Jim to worry about her well-being despite them being safe & sound in the embrace of their ship.
❝ i already feel bad about raising my voice at everyone. ❞ he admits quietly & grabs his glass, venturing back into the kitchen area more so that he can keep an eye on THEM. it takes EVERYTHING from him not to answer his wife’s comment on his understanding or the blame. the weight of his mantle eludes all his loved ones. he thinks they don’t understand him.
he decided long ago that he would not try to make them see it. they are better off. just because being the captain of the Enterprise is his destiny doesn’t mean there aren’t heavy side effects for him. Kirk stands by the kitchen island as Carol stabs at her half-assed meal. he reaches her wrist to nudge her to look into his eyes.
❝ why is it that every time something happens between us, you first doubt my TRUST and my FAITH in you ? why can’t you see that it has nothing to do with either ? i was scared shitless that i was gonna lose my family. can’t you see it ? ❞ his eyebrows curl. sadness seeps through his visage. this encounter reminds him of the tipping point they’d reached before they got married. the day propelled him to seek therapy & hire Rand to help him out. he doesn’t like it. ❝ what have i done since i came back that’s causing this shit over and over again ? ❞
is anything ever simple ? it has been a very long day, & now that the adrenaline is leaving her body, she can feel the exhaustion creeping in slowly. the blonde opts for silence, aware that she will never win this battle. maybe by keeping her mouth shut, she won't make things worse.
at this point, she won't even bother wearing pants, only throwing an oversized T-shirt over herself before moving toward the kitchen. all the excitement made her miss a meal, so she's HUNGRY. ❛ as we already know, Steven is perfectly fine. he completed his first mission today. one day, you will tell him about it & feel bad for raising your voice at everyone. ❜ the food replicator it is, she has no idea what she will eat, but it doesn't matter.
❛ you don't seem very understanding to me. ❜ Carol mumbles, unable to help herself. she feels terrible for everyone having to endure his wrath due to her decision, & yet, she would do it all over again in the blink of an eye. ❛ the same goes for you. ❜ how long has it been since she held back this much ? clearly, she needs to shove some food into her mouth to become more agreeable.
❛ you can't blame yourself for everything. ❜ before she can remind him that she is capable of making her own decisions ( with or without his approval ), she shoves a spoonful of mashed potatoes into her mouth. he knows who she is, she was never going to be obedient, not in a scenario like this one. naturally, she can't be quiet for long. ❛ i wish you'd TRUST ME my judgment more in these matters. ❜ this is so stupid ! she hopes Jessica will be up later so she can bombard her with all the things she's refusing to say. ❛ don't worry about me. i won't go anywhere for the next couple of months. ❜
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