#foresty ravines with vague figures in the trees across the ravine

[autoneurotic]

ik i take anti anxiety/sedater at night to sleep better and not get anxious about nightmares etc, but i still catch myself feeling dread throughout the day as if i will be going to a real, physical place instead of To Bed

#90% of the time i love having vivid dreams and lucid dreaming #lately though i’m dreaming about like. moving back into my childhood home or trying to Go Home #and the house is different/on fire inside/my mom answers but won’t let me in #sometimes i’m very far away and i’m trying to call mom or dad to pick me up #and the buttons are illegible or i type in the wrong numbers time and again #OR they answer and refuse to get me so i have to walk miles through #foresty ravines with vague figures in the trees across the ravine #or through the show along highways and every night i swear #i dream about leaving a specific place and needing to make a specific turn #and i fuck it up every time. but i tell myself as soon as i leave the building Go Right Not Left Go Right #and i always go left for too long and end up by a huge interstate ramp Mess #most commonly nearly nightly o dream of being in a cramped many narrow halled home #small rooms where they shouldn’t be and the whole house is steeped in a skin crawling Sickly Essence. sometimes there’s an old person that #i feel equal parts pity and disgust for. always there is a basement that i do NOT want to go in but end up in anyway…dirt floors stuff #everywhere it goes on and on and on. wood beams and exposed wires n shit #OR finally o dream of being sick and kept in hospital. or i arrive to visit someone and am told i cannot leave #and am either made to be sick or i try to escape and usually the vessel i choose to flee on just misses me #or explodes over the sea with me in it #i want to. have cool dreams again. these suck