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hyrulehb · 7 years

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Let’s Take a Spin Ajin Takahashi/Gen fic

Following the Gen is human theory, this tells of how Takahashi discovers he’s an ajin.

Warnings: attempted double suicide, canon typical violence, drug addictions, fluff and angst, happy ending

They had decided to go through with it, it had started out as a joke so many weeks ago, but as their lives continued to stagnate and the world continued to look like shit around them… It had become a serious discussion. First, it was little comments while they were coasting on a high, obviously feeling the other out about whether they were thinking the same thing.

Takahashi comes to realize that when you truly love someone, they’ll spin whichever direction you do.

Eventually, the tiptoeing bullshit had them both at the end of their ropes. Even the drugs couldn’t ease the tension in their words and bodies. It was Takahashi that cracked first, asking bluntly as he rubbed a hand over his cheekbones. “Hey, …do you ever think about ending it all? Like fucking die and shit?”

They were both coming down, the process never got easier. The longer haired man, was splayed out over the couch while Takahashi had claimed the rug as his crash site. As the seconds stretched out, Takahashi wondered if perhaps his long-time friend had fallen asleep. Then the creaks of protest from the old springs in the cushions alerted him to Gen rolling over, head peeking over the side to stare down at the much taller male.

“Do you?” The question was soft, Gen’s voice rough from the drugs and the laughing they had been entrapped by only minutes before.

“Yeah, I mean the world’s pretty shit right, we can’t even have fun because of bein’ adults, bills, work, and all that crap.” Takahashi admitted staring at the ceiling as the fan rotated above them lazily.

Spin. Spin. Spin….

The world was turning around and it felt like they were just kind of being dragged along for the ride. No one would miss either of them when they were gone. Abandoned by their families for their drug addictions, the construction company they worked for would easily replace them, their landlord only harassed them if they were late on the rent they owed on the shitty little apartment they shared.

Being high was the only time they really felt alive and it was then that they felt like they were finally spinning faster than the rest of the world. Like they were getting the last laugh somehow.

“Ya wanna do it together?” was the query, Gen leaning further over the couch to get a good look at his companion. Dark eyes searching and holding a fondness made his chest tighten. It was then that Takahashi realized that there would be someone to miss him after all.

Swallowing hard, the taller man nodded and as the other blinked back at him, he was sure that his heart was going to burst. Was it from the fear of death, the horror of the idea of taking their own lives, or just the feeling of liberation for finally admitting the dark thoughts that had been swirling inside of his mind for the past few months?

“Sure, together, I’m not paying for this shithole by myself,” Gen answered, snickering as he dropped a hand over the edge to tap Takahashi on the forehead with a finger. “We’re not overdosing on crack though, heard it hurts like a bitch.”

A laugh came from the other at that, a harsh, loud sound that used to make the annoying old woman that lived under them bang on their floor to try and get them to shut up. A week in though, she had given up, probably connecting the dots that the two men didn’t give a shit about being good neighbors or respecting their elders. Miserable old hag, no one would probably come looking for her body after she expired… Much like them. Left to rot and fester as another stain of people that didn’t fit perfectly into the mold that Japanese, no perhaps it was all human society tried to enforce.

“Fine, I’ll leave the researching bit to you, alright? I used to copy off your homework all the time anyway. Guess this is the same in a sense,” more snickers erupted from them and Takahashi lifted his hand, fingers interlacing with those of Gen, whose hand was still hovering above his forehead, “I love you, man.”

“I know.”

They continued to lay like that for the rest of the day, an air of acceptance and understanding filling the air between them. There was no rush, hell it was obvious that there was not enough gumption between the two of them to get off their asses as their bodies recovered from the drugs and alcohol they had consumed throughout the night and morning with relish.

The days and weeks passed after that, it wasn’t brought up again, they just simply continued with their lives. Shitty meals from the convenience store, getting kicked out of clubs and bars, getting wasted in every sense, working hard labor, the list went on and on.

There was no singular bad event to trigger their decision, in fact the day had been a relatively good one as they got home from work early. Takahashi groaning softly as he popped his back before sliding down to the floor. The crappy kotatsu had been pulled out and plugged into the wall to combat the changing of the seasons. Winter meant there would be less work since snow, ice, and rain would make working conditions too unstable and dangerous. It was pretty much guaranteed that they’d be getting a lot of days off thus.

Takahashi forced his long legs underneath the wonder of Japanese innovation with a breath of contentment. Eyes closing as he laid on his back, one arm bent behind his head to support it. He could hear Gen messing around in the kitchen, but didn’t think too much on it.

The apartment was going to be frigid throughout the winter with its poor insolation and their electric and gas bills were going to hit the roof. There was no way around it, taking a freezing shower was basically torture. Neither of them would be able to stand that. They had enough saved up on the side so it should be fine. Sharing a futon and stacking the other’s blankets and mattresses on top of it would make the nights more bearable too.

The small click of glass being set on top of the table part of the kotatsu had the tall man opening his eyes once more, propping himself on his elbows as Gen settled himself on the couch. Takahashi sent a little grin at the long-haired man, getting one in return, before looking at the table, eyes widening as he looked at the arrangement before him: a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, ashtray, a pair of razor blades, a large bottle of pills, and two drinks.

A nervous chuckle escaped Takahashi as he pulled the carton to him, pulling one of the cigs out, Gen leaning over and lighting it for him. The taller man returned the favor, both taking long drags and letting the smoke curl above their heads.

“This is supposed to be a non-smoking apartment,” Gen murmured as the smoke whisked itself away as his breath came out. The silence stretched between them once more before a short snort came from Takahashi, a moment later a guffaw came from his companion. Than they were laughing their asses off, taking puffs from the cigarettes between raucous bouts of mirth. Tears were gathering at the corners of their eyes as smoke escaped wheezing lips.

“How many we poppin’, Gen?”

“Fifteen each,” a chuckle answered the other’s hiss of ‘Fuck’, reaching over to tip the bottle over and spilling the contents across the table, starting to divide them out. Takahashi simply watched as he counted in his head before his gaze flicked over to the razors, “What are those for?”

“Plan B, or I guess plan A and a half or somethin’ like that.” Gen set the cap of the bottle on its side, closing one eye to help aim before flicking it hard, sending it careening off the table and to bounce off the wall with a light thunk. “The pills are supposed to just make you really sleepy and maybe get the shakes, like a fever. But you’re supposed to pass out before anything, like, hurts. If it does hurt or it’s not fast enough, that’s what those are for.”

“Huh,” Takahashi muttered softly, picking up the collection of pills and bouncing them lightly in his hand. He observed the other copying the action, still he couldn’t help the words he vomited out, “You still want to do this, right? It’s not just because of me, right? If you want to pull out, then I will too, so it’s okay. I don’t want you to be pressured or any of that shit. This is your life you’re taking.”

“Takahashi, you’re strong, but you’re not that strong. If I didn’t want to do it, do you think I would have gone to all this trouble? Anyway, a world without you, that’s not one I want to be in. We’ll face whatever hell comes after death together,” His words had cut through the other man’s babble and Takahashi sighed softly. A mixture of relief and warmth running through him. He picked the drink off the table, offering it for a toast as Gen quickly picked up his own, “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Gen echoed, and together they both threw back the pills, chasing it with a few large gulps from the glass.

Coughing at the unfamiliar feeling of the large mass moving down his throat, Takahashi aimed a small glare at his snickering companion who was still sipping from his glass, “Seriously?! You give me fucking oolong tea to wash my poison down with?”

“Hey, just lookin’ out for your health. Then again, I guess green tea is supposed to be better for you,” Laughter came from their lips, shoulders shaking as they lit another cigarette, then another. Steadily working through the pack as they made comfortable conversation. They talked about their childhood, who was an asshole at work, their clumsy confessions to each other, anything and everything was talked about. Grey smoke swirling and swaying from their lips and nostrils, it was… nice.

Gen was the first to fall silent, mumbling about how sleepy he was feeling before laying back on the couch. It was probably because of Takahashi being a giant compared to the other that it took another fifteen minutes before he felt his eyelids starting to droop. His stomach ached slightly, but it wasn’t bad. He was starting to sweat, prompting him to pull his legs from under the kotatsu. There was a slight tremble to his shoulders as his body started to react to the foreign drug in his body and the sheer amount of it. His heart was palpating faster, a panic response probably, but Takahashi felt too lethargic to be alarmed.

It was fine, it didn’t hurt and honestly it felt more relaxing knowing he was approaching the end. Maybe they didn’t go out with balls or guns blazing, but they were happy, at least in a way. Which was more than a lot of poor bastards got when they reached the end of their rope.

This was all just fucking dandy. A small snicker came from Takahashi again, ‘dandy’ was such a weird word. He rolled himself onto his side to face the couch, opening his mouth to say something before freezing.

Gen’s skin had become ghostly pale, a film of sweat covered his forehead, his chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes were closed and brows were pinched together with a small frown pointing the edges of his lips downwards. His body was trembling, mostly likely the muscles were having spasms from the chemical cocktail. He was dying, Takahashi realized, fuck, his heart clenched.

Seeing his love, his best friend, his one and only dying, he didn’t want to see that.

He really, really didn’t.

They could claim they would see each other on the other side all they wanted, but witnessing death was a bit harder to swallow. Gen was already unconscious, Takahashi could tell that by the limpness of his frame. He couldn’t, wouldn’t watch this he decided. His fingers fumbled, but he managed to pick up one of the razors from the table. He’d had his fingers crushed and pinched often enough at work, how bad could it be?

“Sorry,” Was a soft muttered half-apology as he brought the edge of the metal across his wrist, “Guess I’m going to cheat a little and win this race.” It stung but he continued to make the long, deep cut. Hissing as he almost dropped the blade to the floor, digits slick with blood, he repeated the process with the other wrist. His fingers didn’t shake this time.

Blood leaked rapidly from the wounds and Takahashi rolled himself over once more. This time, turning away from the couch. Laying there was an odd feeling, knowing your life was literally draining out, arms going numb first and then slowly the rest of him. But his mind was blissfully blank. Probably another side effect of the overdose. A small crooked grin crossed his face as his eyelids became too heavy, not that it did anything since blackness had already been clouding his vision. The last thing he saw was the fan spinning above him.

…

Waking up again was like one of those horrible spells where you are about to fall asleep and suddenly your whole-body jerks. Sending a rush of panic through you despite there being no source for it. His legs kicked out sending the still plugged-in kotatsu he was lying beside sliding nosily across the floor. The apartment was dim, only being lit up from the street lights outside, penetrating their shitty excuse for curtains.

Had… it all been a dream? Had he just fallen asleep after coming home from work?

His brain felt like it had been put through a blender as he tried to get to his feet only to yelp as he slipped, crashing back to the floor with a pained grunt. What the hell?! Putting a hand on the floor to help brace himself for another attempt to get up he froze, it was wet. Shaking slightly, he brought the hand closer to his face, able to pick out the deep red color despite the darkness. Blood, he scrambled onto his hands and knees, a giant puddle of blood surrounded him, had drenched his clothes.

It was real, he was supposed to be dead, he HAD died. He knew that, the evidence was right there in front of him! So why the fuck…?

Gen.

His internal confusion and panic had the metaphorical brakes slammed on it. Head snapping to the side to look back towards the form on the couch.

Stumbling forward he brought shaking hands closer to the long-haired man’s face, ‘Oh god, fuck, please no’ the words repeated in an endless stream as took in how pale the other was. They had both had a healthy tan from working outside all the time, but now all the color seemed to have been washed out from Gen’s skin. When he took in the small, weak rise and fall of his lover’s chest Takahashi felt tears stinging his eyes.

Alive, they were both still among the living. But Gen was dying while for some reason Takahashi felt like he had basically been reset. To come back from the dead, how in the world…

Ajin, he was a fucking ajin. An immortal being that would keep coming back no matter the injury it suffered and would return feeling right as rain. Right as fucking rain, which was now starting to pitter across the windowpanes, which added to the surrealistic atmosphere of the moment.

Goddammit, could he not get a break?! This wasn’t fair, he didn’t ask for this! Still he couldn’t focus on his own misery right now, Gen needed him. He had to get him to a hospital, but he wasn’t stupid enough to go running in there covered in blood as he was. It would be too suspicious. Hell, it might cause a panic that would make Gen’s critical condition be disregarded.

Thinking quickly as he ran to change clothing and wet a towel in the sink before approaching the couch. Dread filling him as he lifted the other up. His pulse was so weak.

Like a limp, broken doll. God, this was bad, he couldn’t live in this world alone. Without Gen, it would be agony. Takahashi had no idea whether or not the other would even accept him after revealing that he wasn’t human. Hell, he could turn on him and sic the governmental hounds on him. Still it wouldn’t matter to him, as long as he knew Gen was alive as well, breathing the same air he was, somewhere, then it was okay. As much as it would hurt him to be betrayed. He just didn’t want his existence to be completely alone, if he knew Gen was out there.

Hurrying out of the apartment, he kicked the door shut after them. Holding the heavy form of Gen like a bride, he let out a breathless laugh. Gen would have his head if he knew he was holding him like some stupid dame. The key clacked uselessly against the lock, each time making his frustration mount, before finally it slid inside. This must have been the most awkward way to ever lock a door.

This was taking too much goddamn time. All mirth was gone as the situation weighed more heavily than the trembling body he held. With each moment he wasted, he cursed in his head. If he couldn’t save the one person he cared about in this miserable world, he swore that he was going to find a way to be the first ajin to STAY dead.

Their car was a piece of crap, a little two door truck that their construction company lent to them so they could get to and from work. It started after only two tries, which was a blessing in itself. He laid Gen in the passenger seat, head propped against the cool window. He hadn’t woken up at all, not even as the tires screeched as Takahashi peeled out of the parking lot and thundered down the road. As he drove, the ajin tried to wipe off all the blood he could from his face, hands, and neck with the towel he had brought. The grip on the wheel remained white-knuckled tight as he prayed to any kami that existed that they wouldn’t be pulled over or ironically crash on the rain slicked roads.

Fifteen minutes later, they had finally made it.

Everything after arriving at the hospital was a blur. Takahashi had burst into the emergency room, holding Gen tight in his arms as he shouted, no screamed was more accurate, for some help. Babbling to the nurses that brought a gurney that he thought the other had overdosed on accident because he was suffering from the flu the past few days.

As Gen was wheeled from sight and past swinging doors that were labeled ‘authorized personnel only’, the young man felt like he had entered another level of hell. Maybe, he really was dead and he was just trapped in a repeating nightmare as punishment for some sin or another. If the devil dragged Gen into this he was going to kick his ass, unholy, powerful being or not.

He paced back and forth in the waiting room, despite many worried bystanders urging him to sit down. He just shrugged them off, it was nerve-wracking. Who knew what would happen next? A nurse finally came to him, telling him the news that Gen was stable. That was when he finally collapsed to his knees, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was alive, that…. That was all that mattered, everything else seemed to fade into the background. Just white noise buzzed in his ears as the shock and relief washed over him… A buzzing sound which was starting to get annoyingly repetitive.

A blink brought him back to the present and he sent a glare at the nurse, how dare she interrupt his moment of respite! But she only gave him a tight smile in response, most likely she really didn’t give a shit about these two, rough-looking men.

“Sir, I was asking you if had any idea why there was so much of that in his system?” Fuck, that was right they needed a cover story. Saying that they were attempting a double suicide wasn’t exactly going to go over well. What would be believable and get the hospital staff to clear Gen to leave faster? If he was put on a watch list, who knew when they would be able to get out of this sanitary cage.

It took a little bit for him to remember what he had said to get them to pump Gen’s stomach and hopefully give him an antidote, “He’s like, had the flu for the past week. Never went to the doctor or anythin’ though, so he’s just been taking that over the counter stuff from the last time I was sick last year.” He scratched the back of his head, like he was trying to figure it out and was just as confused as the nurse about what had happened, “We’ve been following the instructions, but he’s always been an impatient guy.”

“I gave him another dose, like he had asked me to in the morning, when I got back home from work. Then he laid back down on the couch while I went to run some errands. When I came back, he was like that. Maybe he took some pills before I got home and forgot to tell me he already took them. That’s the only thing I can think of.” The nurse nodded along, marking something on her little clipboard before she side-eyed him, though she still looked incredibly bored, “And there’s no chance that he was trying to commit suicide?”

“WHAT?! Never! We were planning on playing cards with our friends tomorrow if he was feeling better. He’d never miss that!” Raising his voice made the act even more believable as it got some of the other people to glance their way. A blush made its way to the young woman’s face. That’s when Takahashi realized she was new, that was the obvious sign. She didn’t know how to deal with a lot of attention on her or an altercation.

“Okay, we have to ask as protocol, his room is 315 you’re allowed to visit him now. Since you said that you’re his living partner earlier, you’re allowed to stay the night with him.” She twittered off, spinning on her heel and quickly disappearing out of sight.

Silently, Takahashi was grateful that this hospital was so small and understaffed, or he might have gotten professionally questioned. As soon as she turned away he was already hurrying towards the elevator. Despite her assurances, he wasn’t going to believe the other to be alive until he saw it with his own two eyes.

The multiple doors he passed, painted that almost painfully bright white made him shiver. Yeah, hospitals were the absolute worst in his opinion. The ajin made sure to close the door to Gen’s room firmly behind him before approaching the bed. The shorter male looked better, his breathing much easier and he looked comfortable. There was an IV in his hand and the sight made Takahashi want to vomit. They had been so close, Takahashi would still have been fine with dying and joining Gen on the other side. But instead… he had forced Gen to stay alive. He hadn’t gotten a choice in the matter.

Fuck, he was so selfish.

Not knowing when Gen might regain consciousness Takahashi settled for pulling a chair closer to the edge of the bed and laying his upper half across the mattress. Head resting on Gen’s chest and being comforted by the steady beat he heard. The taller male moved to hold one of the other’s hands. Making sure his hold was gentle despite wanting to grip onto his lover’s hand like a lifeline that might be ripped away at any moment. His thumb brushed over the IV making him grimace, tubes and other medical equipment always freaked him out since he was a kid. Kind of ironic when both he and Gen enjoyed shooting up. This was just different.

With the knowledge that the long-haired man would live his mind could wander about his other problem… A big problem at that. If anyone found out, he’d be hunted mercilessly by the government of not only Japan but other nations as well. While being lazy had landed the pair into low level high schools and similar occupations. They weren’t dumb or unobservant. Perhaps working a hard life made one acutely aware of some ugly hidden truths in the world around them. Having an easy life could make someone unconsciously or intentionally turn a blind eye towards something that might go against their obtainment of a blissful, peaceful life.

The medical achievements and advancements in weapons engineering had climbed dramatically since the discovery of the first ajin. It really didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Also, there was the surfacing of videos of inhumane experiments done on supposed ajin on the internet, though many claimed that the videos were fakes.

He didn’t want to end up like that. Dying the first time might not have hurt, but he wasn’t exactly jumping at the chance to see what it would feel like without all the drugs numbing his senses.

The feeling of being stuck seemed to compress him deeper into the bed. Idly, he wondered if he could just sink into Gen and never move again. A small pat on the top of his head made him realize that it wasn’t the weight of the situation he was experiencing, but Gen’s hand. Fingers moving through short unkempt locks as the human asked in a hoarse voice, “What happened, did you chicken out?”

Takahashi snapped up into a seated position, spewing apologies as he jostled Gen who looked at him with a weak glare before, with a few mishaps of the remote attached to the bed, Gen was moved into a more comfortable position. “I…” The newly discovered ajin wasn’t sure how to start, looking at the bleach white sheets before him as he felt the other’s gaze on him.

“You called an ambulance, right? How the hell are we going to pay for that?” The long-haired man whined, but there was no heat behind his words. His tone just sounded surprised and confused more than anything.

“I…” Takahashi started again before his throat tightened, this time he barreled through it, even though his voice felt half strangled, “Actually, it’s the exact opposite. I drove you here, I guess it was about half an hour after you passed out.”

“How the hell did you get us here alive? You should have been just as fucked-up as me, there’s no way that you should have been fit to drive across town,” There was the alarm, Gen’s voice rising as he tried to figure it out logically. Takahashi was shushing him, finger pressed against his lover’s lips. He waited a few moments for Gen to calm down, then as he drew the digit away he took the opportunity to press their lips together. It was short, but blissful and Takahashi wanted to memorialize every moment of it.

It would be the last kiss that they would share while Gen thought that he was human.

“Now, don’t freak out.” Takahashi began, Gen snipping in as he crossed his arms over his chest, “That’s always a comforting way to start.”

“Geeze you’re an asshole, can’t you see I’m trying to be serious?” He groaned softly as he rubbed a hand over his forehead, why did he love Gen again? The human rolled his eyes as he gestured for him to continue, with a deep breath, he did keeping his voice barely above a whisper. “I died. After you passed out, I couldn’t stand the sight of you dying so I cut my wrists. And then I died.”

Gen’s lips started to curl into a smile, a laugh threatening to bubble out before noticing that the continued dead seriousness of Takahashi’s face. “Shit, for real?”

“When we go back you can see the blood stain for yourself. I died, I came back and my body was perfectly fine.” Still he could give some evidence for his case right there, he had discovered it while he had been rubbing his arms anxiously while waiting for news. The smoothness of his skin, the absence of the little hardness and uneven dots and lines in his flesh from scars. Drawing back his hoodie sleeve he revealed the absence of the multiple pockmarks he had collected over the years from needles. His words were shaky as he didn’t know what to expect. Didn’t know if he wanted to see or hear what Gen would say when he connected the dots.

“Ajin,” The word was soft, Gen’s eyes wide in disbelief as he stared at Takahashi’s arm, at the skin that he knew as well as his own. It suddenly looked like it belonged to a stranger. But no, Takahashi was no stranger, despite the fear and the haggard expression he wore, it was still the man Gen loved. Then he noticed something, Takahashi wasn’t looking at him, well he was, but his gaze was focused instead on the area of his forehead.

“What the fuck man?! Do you really have that little faith in me, look me in the damn eyes!” His tone was hot, the hand that Takahashi had been holding turning its grip painful and crushing as he leaned forward. It made him feel good, the way the larger man shrunk back and looked shocked. But it also sickened him, did Takahashi really think he was going to turn on him?

“I don’t care if you’re goddamn Hannibal Lector or some mutant alien, I agreed to die with you. I think that takes quite a fucking bit of commitment.” He was angry, of fucking course he was. “Honestly, with all the freaky stuff we’ve done you’d th-.”

His words were cut off as Takahashi pressed a kiss to his mouth, Gen tried to push his hand against the ajin’s chest, he wasn’t done ripping him a new one after all! But the lips were incessant and eventually he gave up the fight as a warm hard carded through his hair. It must feel disgusting from the fever sweats he had experienced, nonetheless the other man continued to thread through it with a reverence like they were made from the finest silk.

As Takahashi drew back, they were both panting.

“Thank you.” The words were soft as Takahashi bumped his forehead against his lover’s, Gen grumbling back, “Ass.”

They stayed like that, before the ajin mumbled out, guilt washing over him, “Do you hate it, even a little bit, that I saved you. I… couldn’t imagine living without you. I was being selfish, I even offed myself instead of waiting for the end with you.”

“Just shut up, you live, I live, you die, I die. There’s not much difference in either statement, right?” Gen answered with a flippant wave of his hand, easy going grin coming to his face as he leaned back against the bed. “You just got to make sure that I don’t die now. Unlike you, I don’t get a second chance.”

“I have a feeling you’re not going to make that easy for me,” Takahashi mused, but a smile was quirking his lips as Gen snickered, “When have I EVER made anything easy for anybody?!”

“I love you.”

“Love ya too, I’m not cleaning up the blood when we go back by the way. You made the mess you can clean it up. Fuckin’ cheater.”

Takahashi was crying and laughing at the statement, it was absurd and the world felt like it was spinning, but if he had Gen by his side. He’d dare to spin counter-clockwise with him if it meant that they’d stay together in every sense of the word.

He leaned over the hospital bed, eager lips already lifting to meet his own once more.

Hope you enjoyed it, if you have any comments I’d love to hear them, origami10 helped me edit this!

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