#gotta love how he lied and changed his hairstyle a few years later too (I'll give him a pass cos it didn't last long)

[where-did-the-groove-go]

a PSA for anyone dressing as Ron Mael for Halloween

(Or any other time of year, because that is also completely valid :))

Idk if deciphering horrendously pixellated scans of old magazine articles is a talent unique to me, but I managed to decipher the entirety of that Groom at the Top one so here you go: Ron's hair regimen.

The article is from 1974, so Sparks would've been living in England at the time and thus the Yardley brilliantine will be most authentic -- but if you're in the US and want to grab everything on one trip to Walmart, there's another brilliantine from a brand called Tres Flores. A bit stickier and shinier, but it works just as well.

And okay, Ron didn't actually use Aqua Net, but the hairspray he mentioned is no longer made. Everything I've ever read about 1970s hair care, though, says that all the "dry look" spray products for men were basically just repackaged Aqua Net.

So without any further ado, let's hear the facts from Ron. (Article transcribed below)

"First of all it's essential that your hair is fairly short. Remember that maintaining this style involves a daily ritual every morning. Otherwise it won't last very long."

"To start with wash your hair, to get rid of all the grease from the day before. After it's washed leave it quite damp, don't towel it off too much. This is quite important."

"Then spread some Brylcreem on one of your index fingers, rub it between your palms and apply it to the hair. Then do the same with an equal amount of Brilliantine."

"Next you have to comb it using preferably the wide end of the comb so that it leaves wide tracks in the hair, for some reason it looks better if you have fairly fallow grooves running across your head."

"Once that's done you can then spray it with a kind of lacquer called Brut Extra Hold Hair Spray. After that you're all set for the rest of the day. It's a long process, about 10 minutes every morning, but once you've done it you can forget about it for the next 24 hours."

"If you suffer from electricity in the hair you can add some anti-static spray -- the sort that's meant for records. We tried it for a while. I don't know whether it cured the static, but it sure does wonders for the hair."

So successful has Ron's image been that he is quite prepared to adopt it for the rest of his life.

"I've got quite used to it now, it's become a habit. It's my natural style. I'm not trying it out to see how it works. This isn't a phase I'm going through. This is the way I am. Till death do us part."

Naturally enough as with all progressive ideas, there are many drawbacks to the Ron Mael look. Ron is only too well aware of them.

"When I'm walking on the streets I get people yelling wanting to know who let me loose or telling me how much I look like their father. Also having short hair means you can get very cold in the ears at times."

But there are still advantages.

"It's a good way of starting conversations at a party. All you have to say is, 'So what do you think of my hair then?'"

-----

A couple tips from me: "quite damp" doesn't mean "still dripping", you'll want a VERY generous fingertip full of product if your hair is a bit longer (like present-day Ron length), and try to fuss with your hair as little as possible when combing it into the desired shape so that it doesn't lose too much of its hold.

Not gonna lie, I'm still looking for a more "socially acceptable" way to wear this stuff as a female, 'cos it makes my hair feel soooooo soft and nice, and it smells fucking AMAZING...

#ron complaining about cold ears is so endearing #gotta love how he lied and changed his hairstyle a few years later too (I'll give him a pass cos it didn't last long) #also we can infer from this that ron smelled like lavender and I'm not quite sure what to do with this information #also also #I remember seeing the article amongst some other vintage hair product adverts before I knew who ron was #for the record I am a HUGE proponent of 'the dry look' and the luscious locks that many men sported in the 1970s #so that first time I saw it I was like 'who tf is this guy trying to popularize this hairstyle' #please forgive me 😅 #ron mael #sparks articles #sparks cosplay #my posts/additions