#hilarious side effect of C3: me revisiting Percy and Keyleth's friendship and finally understanding it more

[utilitycaster]

I think the shallow feeling of Laudna/ Imogen also comes from how they talk too and about each other. The gnarlrock conflict felt so much more real than all the “Imogen is very competent and powerful” and “Laudna is so comforting,” there’s nooooot really anything else there? There’s no annoyance or teasing or boredom or Anything, just vague softness. And actual roommates or lovers or siblings aren’t soft and sweet all the time, so Imogen and Laudna come off as people who haven’t actually spent much time together.

So I want to talk about the Bjork song "Hyperballad". It's a great song musically which is why I originally liked it, but the premise of the song is that, within a relationship, there will be weird and messy parts of one's self that need to be expressed elsewhere, outside of that relationship, so that you can be both your entire self but also part of a couple, with the compromises that entails. Anyway, I love this song and I feel like that aspect of this relationship - either as friends or romantically - is entirely missing.

What gets me is that not only is there so little teasing or minor annoyances (and on the rare occasions we have seen them, even when it's been in less direct conflict - think Imogen being kind of impatient and annoyed at Laudna thinking her dolls birthed the gnarlrock - it's felt like a breath of air); it's that they both always automatically go to each other for everything, but won't address the darker issues, and seem to have no outlets for all of the messier aspects of themselves. It's again why Ashton calling Laudna out directly on her bullshit feels more vivid and alive than tens of conversations with Imogen in which neither is willing to risk asking any real, piercing questions. It's why the conversation in the storage room beneath Imahara Joe's is such a strong Imogen scene, because she doesn't have to spend the whole time correcting Laudna's misconceptions but instead actually has to think about and answer to whether she feels she's a hero or something to be feared.

I do keep going back to prior campaigns for comparison but I think that makes sense here. Part of why the Nein worked is that, for example, Jester and Veth became friends very quickly and were able to explore some of the sillier and more chaotic aspects of themselves there, which not only made them much more realized but also pushed Fjord and Caleb to mesh with the group more, whereas Imogen and Laudna are kind of a static island within a group that is both tied to them and also forcibly distanced from them. Or going back further, this is why the twins' respective romantic relationships (and Percy and Keyleth's friendship) make so much sense. The twins love each other deeply but there is a disconnect in what they understand about each other, and their romantic partners, respectively, do understand; but also it's valuable for, say, Vex to have someone in her life who's like "I see how you relate to Percy, and I genuinely believe you are very good for each other, but you are fucked up in the same way and you should be aware of that," just as it's valuable for Vax to have someone in his life who serves as an example of the virtues of self-preservation.

If I may: I think there's sometimes a belief in fandom that having an all-consuming relationship with nothing left outside of it is the goal, rather than a cautionary tale at best and a recipe for despair at worst. I also think there's a bizarrely prevalent belief that being openly protective of a person, in the sense of "I don't want you to get hurt because I care for you," is bad; but constantly trying to protect someone's feelings through never addressing difficult topics is good, even as it stunts their ability to grow as a person. The most obvious parallel from past campaigns I can think of is how Caleb specifically avoided telling the clerics about his past for fear of how they, Jester especially, would respond to it. And it's an understandable impulse, to want people to think the best of you; but it's also terribly difficult and sad to be around someone who thinks you have everything under control when you feel like you're drowning. I suppose from a certain point of view it's romantic to say "I love this person so much that I have to hide absolutely essential aspects of myself out of fear they won't love me back"; but in the 19th century doomed-by-the-narrative gothic romance Bronte sisters sort of way, not in a "this is a romance and they are in love and will live happily ever after" way. I want to see people who finally can be honest with each other, not people who can only engage with each others' masks.

So that's my problem; Imogen and Laudna do genuinely have potential if they can find a way to be honest with each other, but we're almost 40 episodes in and the relationship feels identical to how it did in episode 1, which is to say, recent roommates who might have crushes on each other, rather than best friends of 2 years.

#answered #pawthorn #hilarious side effect of C3: me revisiting Percy and Keyleth's friendship and finally understanding it more #cr discourse