#however i am ummmmmm unwell and not fit to be in society

[snarltoothed]

i need to be in a female separatist psych ward but alas they don’t exist! and as such i will continue being a problem

#r #like not taking my dysfunctional ass to any womyns land #but i’m also not taking my traumatized ass to a mixed sex psych ward #however i am ummmmmm unwell and not fit to be in society #i dont even get sad about shit in my life not working out anymore but at this point my anxiety is so so so so bad i can barely function #and ngl im on several medications at once at almost all times which should decrease anxiety and im still anxious #i hate thisss im not even sad or distraught but the suicidal ideation is hiiigh #just bc like ohhh my god i need to endure extreme anxiety in order to just like live a semi normal life #and whoooooo girly i dont know if i can do it over and over for another half dosen decades (if i’m lucky) #if youve read this far sorry firstly lol and secondly dw i am not in immediate danger #like as much as i ever want to it wont be a risk until my mom’s gone #and after that i’ll probably feel like responsible for not leaving my brother alone #ik not as feministe but he is part of her as well #+ he seems not evil somehow because my mother is amazing and unique and also we might all have autism #not that that exempts men from being evil misogynists typically but he didnt/doesnt socialize much outside of family #and my dad is impossible to talk to and he & i fought like hell as kids so my mom was his 1 socialization influence lol