[Transcript under the cut]
Ernest: i always feel like a complete professional in here
Vlad: what is a writer without a typewriter
Ernest: or hundreds of books. personally i own neither
Ernest, on typewriter: h e l l o
Vlad: your small device died on me.
Ernest: ah! it's just the battery. just give it to me and I'll bring it back fully charged
Vlad: i want to keep it
Ernest: alright alright. so, which song did you like the best?
Vlad: the song with rats on cages
Ernest: bullet with butterfly wings? i kinda thought you'd be more of a bowie guy but at the same time im not surprised
Vlad: what is a bowie?
Ernest: you're hilarious.
Ernest, on typewriter: M y n a m e i s E r n e s t M u n c h
Ernest: maybe you'd like Kate Bush, my wife LOVES Kate Bush.
Vlad: Isn't there any actual writing you should be doing?
Ernest: eh… i don't think there's more for me to write about, honest. what else do you have to tell me?
Vlad: you sound like the human that wrote the Encyclopedias.
Ernest: well i know those from memory since i was a child, consumed those like holy grail. plasma fruit bad, blood good. yadda yadda
Ernest: -wait. wrote? i thought you did it. i got all fanatic on you for nothing?
Vlad: all i did was give answers to a curious human that thought i was wearing a disguise. if those books should awake hoards of blood hungry half done vampires born out of uncoordinated words, then so it be.
Ernest: you're a little mischievous, huh?
Vlad: I'm naturally great at misleading people.
Ernest: oh, i know! after all these months, buddy, i still have no clue on who turned you.
Vlad: why would i deceive your ears with such a thing?
Ernest: because we. are. frriiiieeeenddss
Vlad: what is happening to your words?
Ernest: I'm just reminding you. come on! i wont even write it down, let's just have a chat.
Vlad: fine.
Vlad: --hundreds of years ago, a count and a peasant had an affair.
Vlad: the moment the count's wife found out, she went to the village and found a witch. it casted a curse upon the peasant, who was pregnant.
Vlad: she suffered a long, painful childbirth. what is worse, she lived through it.
Vlad: and so her son was born, lacking a heartbeat, pale as a corpse, alive.
Vlad: she was barely able to walk, talk, breath or blink after giving birth
Vlad: she never recovered, and the count had turned his back on both of them.
Vlad: i believe she wanted both of us dead. i did not feel her as my mother, as she probably never felt me as her son too. she was just food to me, as soon as i was able to walk.
Vlad: i found The Hollow shortly after.
Vlad: i was never weak, i never had to survive.
Ernest: you were choiceless.
Ernest: gulp a witch, huh?
Vlad: one way or another, our sole creators.
raining
Ernest: man. how am i supposed to go home like this?
Lilith: i could walk you home.
Lilith: can i, Vlad?
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