oooo how did ansel pick the name úlfhéðnar tell us more!!!!!
oh, i love questions like these! please always send me questions like these. i’ve been thinking about this all night … or at least, since i woke up, and i’ve come to the conclusion that the name was, in a sense, bestowed upon him. prior to his death at mikael’s hands, ansel wasn’t just a leader or a wolf. he was also known to be a warrior. it came with the times they were in. battles were swift and bloody, leaving little survivors, though the travel to them could take weeks. sometimes months. the build up was long, tedious. nerve-wracking for most, except him. though ansel COULD still die by sword or axe, he stood with a bravery few other men could muster, having lived long enough to feel almost at peace with the possibility of death, as well as an arrogance of knowing he still possessed an advantage the human man did not. others would turn to him for guidance and he would provide it. however, during this particular ride, it was he who found wisdom from another.
father caedmon was a priest. he didn’t travel to fight, but to offer spiritual aid to the soldiers. he was a sagacious man. the kind even a wolf could trust. they would often sit together, ansel peeling them apples with a dagger while caedmon regaled tales of a life lived with faith. ansel himself had never truly been a religious man. it stemmed from his father declaring him the devil, but even he could see the COMFORT the belief in a higher power brought his friend and who was he to question? the thought, he realised through their talks, was no stranger than the existence of wolf-humans and pagan witches. in turn, caedmon enquired after his fellow traveller’s upbringing. until now, he had only ever known ansel as ansel, wolf shedding his father’s name the same day he decided to shed the shame the man once tried to enforce upon him. though ansel could not divulge his true nature, he felt safe enough to share his refusal to use the name of a bastard who inflicted nothing but harm; that it brought just as much weight as the chains once locked tight around wrists. father caedmon raised no further questions. he simply listened. when full moons came, priest would often notice ansel’s absence and while there were times when he suspected the other’s affliction, he never judged nor did ansel once smell fear. if anything, there was ACCEPTANCE to be found, a feeling that at the time remained unfamiliar.
war came, and though that was inevitable, they found themselves unprepared when troops invaded from a direction they had not been keeping guard. father caedmon is fatally injured in the chaos. ansel was at his side in an instant, ensuring the priest died with beloved cross in hand, securing his peace. in his last few breaths, he praised ansel for his courage, and fair leading. he insisted " he must not blame himself for this loss, as it was god’s will, just as it was god’s will for ansel to be the warrior he is today. to be their úlfheðnar. though he never had children, he would’ve been proud to call ansel his own. "
to be úlfheðnar, is to be a warrior clothed in wolfskin. the úlfheðnar are ultimate norse warriors by blood. they are believed born, rather than made, and are associated with the wolf as they are thought to be inhabited by their spirits. úlfheðnar see wolves as SACRED and do not hunt them, being gifted their presence. it was, or so ansel always believed, a silent acknowledgement that father caedmon saw him & it changed nothing. the relationship remains, to this day, one of the more meaningful ones ansel found in his life. so much so that he honoured his good friend’s memory by later naming his son cadmann, though he did not use the name úlfheðnar until much later. in the present day, when advised a last name is the more 'modern - day etiquette', he would remember this moment and thus, he bestowed upon himself the title father caedmon once did, becoming ansel úlfheðnar.
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