#i do miss that brief trend where people made very convincing fake posts

[la-bruja]

🐉 @dragonboytail follow

we need to ban parents from using the word "attitude" so they can maybe start grappling with the fact that their children maybe are having a reasonably angry response

🍲 @matzobs follow

This sounds wild when you write it down like I'm about to, but I'm right:

Sometimes the kid's feelings simply aren't relevant to the situation, and it's better parenting to explain that to them.

I get it, you don't want to go to skool. I don't particularly want to send you to skool. But the law says you have to go, and the alternatives aren't realistic, and we live in the world. The bright side is, your friends will be there. I'd recommend finding some joy in that. Please go brush your teeth now.

I hear you thought you were hanging out with your friend this weekend but it's rosh hashana. Sometimes being jewish means doing things we dont think we'll like. We made an agreement. They'll be blowing the shofar. Put your white shirt on.

🦌 @vaspider √✔️☑️✅🦀 follow

"Your feelings are real but not always relevant" is a thing that a lot of people could use to learn earlier.

👬 @jraker4 follow

I can see why many folks would shy away from this lesson, because it is *super easy* (and not uncommon!) to weaponize ‘sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to’. But…sometimes ya do, and the person making you do it isn’t always bad for making you do it.

⚫️ @xxlovelynovaxx follow

The thing is, it's better to convince someone to do something than force them to - and explaining why it's important to do the thing and y'know, treating a child like the actual human being they are by validating their feelings but having a conversation about why it's necessary anyway - will often do that.

In the rare events where explaining doesn't help or even makes it worse, it is often then time to consider if there's a deeper issue at play. I can guarantee 9/10 times it's not entitlement. Is the kid undiagnosed as neurodivergent and having a meltdown because they know an event will be sensory hell? Do they legitimately not understand WHAT they have to do and are focusing on WHY they have to do it as a coping mechanism?

There's a wide gap to how people in general react to "things I don't really want to do but fully can" vs "things I genuinely can't do or would hurt me to do to the point that even if they're technically possible for me to do, I functionally can't do them". Kids are no different - and quite honestly in my experience, no less able to articulate this than most adults, who also struggle to recognize the difference.

If it's discovered that it really is a bigger issue than "not wanting to", then it's a lot of work to make bigger adjustments. Sometimes it means temporarily dealing with the penalties of missing a necessary event - getting a doctor's note from a child psychologist to pull them out of school for more than 1-3 sick days while further uncovering the underlying cause of the inability to deal with school, for example. Is it undiagnosed neurodivergence? Untreated mental illness? Bullying? Some form of trauma unrelated to school that is still most impacting school? An ability to get a need met being severely impacted by the time and energy spent on school? Etc.

Anyway, part of the reason "your feelings are real but not always relevant" is so important is because it's a critical tool in determining when your feelings ARE relevant. And the earlier you learn that, the happier and healthier you'll be as you grow.

#Post was unrebloggable so i stole it . If uou got binged. sory. #i do miss that brief trend where people made very convincing fake posts #stealing posts #thinking thoughts

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, week forty

oops

brief considerations of the songs which debuted on billboard on 10.11.1997, 10.13.2007, and 10.14.2017

10.11.1997

1) "Candle in the Wind 1997/Something in the Way You Look Tonight," by Elton John

princess diana seemed like a nice person and i don't agree that it is good that she passed on. i think she should have continued to live, and finally, i found a song that agrees with my worldview.

44) "Too Gone, Too Long," by En Vogue

So real talk this is late because one week I saw two Post Malone songs and I said fuck it because, like, it's, and I just, I don't think it's fair when older generations yell at younger generations? But the average '90s R&B track was infinitely better than the average '10s anything. You could drive down the street bumping the radio and a song like this, with that small miracle that happens around the 3:00 mark, and this would be like the seventh-best song you'd hear. Kids these days are just listening to songs that don't make any stabs at greatness, they just exist in a way that doesn't motivate you to change the station. The problem is with the children. I'm not actually talking about this song, I'm talking about the way people consume music. This song is heckin' great and everyone should listen to it 20 times and then try to get through a Post Malone song.

58) "Heaven," by Nu Flavor

In this overly intense '90s R&B slo jamz, the R&B boys plead to God to convince this woman to fuck them. That sentence is the last thing I wrote for YAS before taking a weeks-long sabbatical and I'm glad I found it.

63) "Love Gets Me Every Time," by Shania Twain

Where do we rank Shania Twain in the diva pantheon? Like, this is a song with a hook I recognized when I heard it, after 20 years of just not thinking about this song I heard "dolgurn gone and done it" and was like "oh yeah! This jam!" and not all singers can dig that deep into your memory, but in terms of historical import, where does she rank? You can't really argue that "country needs a rep in the pantheon" because um hello? Dolly? but there's at least four Shania songs that are absolutely legendary. Does that merit inclusion among the greats? Or is Shania just on that second tier with a Kelly Clarkson or a Carrie Underwood, reliable but not as powerful as the women we'll tell our grandkids about?

65) "Electric Barbarella," by Duran Duran

One of the things that struck me as odd about the film Sing Street was the reverence with which the film treated Duran Duran. I always sort of thought Duran Duran was a boy band, but there was a film set in the heyday of Duran Duran's popularity, with a scene where an older brother extols the virtues of Duran Duran's musicianship to a younger brother, and I'm just like, "I never would have guessed this band was at the vanguard of new wave?" But I guess maybe they were a less dark Depeche Mode and I should check this out because this song from 1997 probably isn't indicative of peak Duran Duran? Hello welcome back to YAS I'm already asking questions to no one instead of offering criticism, it's like I never left.

70) "They Like it Slow," by H-Town

Sometimes, when you abandon a project for a while and come back, you notice things about the thing you're doing that you never would have noticed if you had worked on it in the last two months. To that end: I just realized all the 1997 and prolly most of the 2007 music videos were shot in 4:3. Like, when they filmed these music videos, they were composing shots with the idea they would be on TVs. That's kind of interesting! Like, when you go to film school, you probably have the idea you're gonna direct films, so having to compose shots for a smaller aspect ratio probably fucks you up a little bit. Anyway, I can't tell if this '90s R&B slo jamz is a parody or not.

87) "A Smile Like Yours," by Natalie Cole

"I have seen the bluest skies/Rainbows that would make you cry." It's absolutely amazing which lines in these songs gain significance from 20 years of events. Like, that line about rainbows takes on a whole new meaning now that we've all enjoyed and then forgot about the Double Rainbow video.

91) "Alright," by Jamiroquai

groovy! i’m okay with this! this is like what all the calvin harris songs would sound like if they were good.

92) "Spin Spin Sugar," by Sneaker Pimps

there's so much cool stuff happening in this song and i really just wanna sit down and get to know this band a lot more because they've always seemed like something i was supposed to like and now i realize that i do actually like them, unfortunately WE'RE LISTENING TO 100 SONGS TONIGHT GOODBYE GOOD SONG I WILL KEEP THIS MEMORY WARM IN MY HEART UNTIL THE END OF TIME

10.13.2007

58) "Tattoo," Jordin Sparks

This is a song that just barely missed the lyric video trend. If any song needed to have words appearing on random actors' skin, it was this one, it would have been such a no-brainer decision. Like, you do it right, hire some calligraphers and tell them to take it up a thousand notches, you have a classic lyric video. Wasn't e'er to be, though. Just a standard music video, and I guess a nice song? It's very2007. It's very the sort of song you'd give to the winner of a forgettable Idol season. "Oh, that? Uh, yeah, keep it. It's either going on this album or in that trash can, might as well use every part of the buffalo that is my brain."

80) "The Way I Am," Ingrid Michaelson

this is the sonic version of a scarf worn indoors in june

86) "Our Song," Tay Tay

"Our song is a slammin' screen door." Did you know Tay Tay's dad was an investment banker? I have reason to believe Tay Tay's only seen a screen door in movies. I dunno. Do rich people have screen doors? I've never been in a mansion, but I don't think screen doors would be appropriate for mansions.

91) "Shoulda Let You Go," Keyshia Cole intro./Amina

I like how Billboard gave Amina an "introducing" credit. You don't see that in music nowadays. Now it's just "hey this 17-year-old has a million plays on Soundcloud, what do you mean you 'haven't heard of him,' he's already been responsible for thirteen memes and they're all dead, we're actually over him already, he's lame now." It is now known that Amina was actually a woman who was okay at rapping. The point still stands, I'd at least like to know that the randos on these songs are people no one but the people who made this song know.

96) "Hypnotized," Piles ft./Akon

"I know she wet 'cuz she told me." I don't know why, but this line tickles me! "Piles, you got me so wet." "YO, SHE'S WET! I MADE HER WET, GUYS!" "You touch mine and I touch yours." Piles must be hypnotized because in my (admittedly limited) experience with his work he doesn't seem like a man who gives head. He seems like a man who needs to be coerced into reciprocating pleasure.

97) "Nothin' Better to Do," LeAnn Rimes

OK so real talk, while I was listening to this song I got distracted because I realized I hadn't updated my Poke Bank subscription in like a year and I have so many precious little babies I need to keep forever, and you know what? This is a fun song. I didn't really need to pay attention to it! It's a song about being naughty that keeps it PG enough to play on country radio, and I wouldn't mind bumping into it again!

100) "Fake It," Seether

So Amy Lee and the dude from Seether broke up. After the break-up, Evanescence hit first with "Call Me When You're Sober," which isn't a particularly devastating song, but the title is incredibly unsubtle, and, like, Seether's a shitty post-grunge band, of course he's an alcoholic, and Amy Lee is right to say "yo I'm kinda done with this, I don't like dealing with the drunk you." Seether strikes back by saying Amy Lee is a liar and that he "feels so raped," and Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm gonna go ahead and say that's #problematic! Amy Lee made a dumb but fair song about how she was out of patience, and here comes Donald Trump by way of Creed to say "YOU ARE RAPING ME WITH THIS BREAK-UP." Like, I'm gonna go ahead and say that the part using rape metaphors to describe their feelings is the one in the wrong in this mediation.

10.14.2017

65) "I Fall Apart," by Post Malone 100) "Go Flex," by Post Malone

i could have spent eight minutes sitting perfectly still listening to ambient noise and have had the same emotional reaction. "never caught a feeling this hard/harder than the liquor i pour." oh fuck off already.

70) "Good Old Days," by Macklemore ft./Kesha

FINALLY. The pop music gods have heard my prayers: Macklemore rapping about nostalgia. Everything I love, in one delightful package! ...He shouts out Minnesota and this is probably gonna end up being the best song from this week because of that and also because this week is lookin' pretty horrible.

94) "Losing Sleep," by Chris Young

OK so real talk during this bro country joint I got distracted because I was looking at new music releases and APPARENTLY THERE'S AN ANIMATED MOVIE BASED ON "ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU?" IT WAS MADE THIS YEAR? THIS YEAR. YOU CAN BUY IT ON DVD TODAY AND OWN IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR FUCKING LIFE. I'm sorry. I'm not going to bother processing whatever bullshit this song is about, sex I guess, because THIS WORLD IS CAPABLE OF SO MUCH MORE. This is a movie. This is also a movie which presupposes that this entire time "All I Want for Christmas Is You" is about a puppy that Mariah Carey needed for a... charity fashion show? "Great! We're short one girl with a dog!" "Oh..." This is a cinematic masterpiece and my life is better for having stumbled across it. This and Pokemon Christmas Bash.

95) "Like I Loved You," by Brett Young

So the writer of Mariah Carey's All I Want for Christmas Is You is one Temple Mathews, who has also written The Little Mermaid II, Peter Pan II, and 101 Dalmatians 2. That is a fucking nuts credit roll, Temple. Dude also goes multiple years between projects, which suggests to me he's like someone at Disney's cousin, and every couple years that person at Disney goes "hey, Temple, wanna make $100,000?" and Temple says "fuck yeah bro" and Temple just lives off that. He makes smart investments and lives in a cabin in Montana and has never actually seen a movie because why would you look at pictures when you've got mountains in your backyard? Temple is living the best life. Dude's my hero. He has someone describe a cartoon to him and writes something based off that and never has to write a second draft.

97) "Round Here Buzz," by Eric Church

Listen, if Eric Church is gonna give us repeats of songs he's done before, at least he's giving us repeats of "Give Me Back My Hometown." It's a slower, sadder version of that song, one that can't be misconstrued as an "I'm poor AND PROUD OF IT!" anthem, this is a song that can only be about a dude thinking about a girl living a life without him while he lives a life with her ghost, but also "Give Me Back My Hometown" is more fun? I dunno, this still prolly gets 2017 SOTY, I've just heard it before. Also, Eric Church? Welcome to the Decade Dance Club. You are the 36th member, and the tenth white male country artist.

98) "Plain Jane," by A$AP Ferg

ok nvm this is song of the week, simply because in the first verse Ferg raised and lowered the volume of his voice. this song went somewhere! this song actually did something! it didn't just bleep and bloop for three minutes or be about how it's nice when things are good, Ferg had things he wanted to say and delivered his lines with actual emotions! he did the bare goddamn minimum, and by 2017 standards, that's pretty good! i'm actually going to remember this song a little bit!

Who won the week?

1997. Like, of course 1997 won. It had Sneaker Pimps and Shania, if 1997 lost to these other wack-ass years it would’ve been stunning.

Standings: 1997: 15 2007: 12 2017: 13 oh god all the songs for the next edition look awful, welp