#i feel like abby would listen/watch out for her and make sure she doesn't hurt herself

[wildlcck]

she eepy

#why is this so cute? #why is SHE so fkn cute?? #real talk tho #i've been thinkin about s having nightmares and night terrors following THAT night a lot recently #i can absolutely see her trying to stay awake for as long as possible and finding it really difficult/impossible to fall or stay asleep #and getting up super early #for my s*digail peeps also #she always feels like she sleeps better when she's w abigail or she's holding her #i feel like abby would listen/watch out for her and make sure she doesn't hurt herself #HNGHHH #goin further i can see s feeling really guilty about messing w abigail's sleep so she insists she's fine and tries sleeping on her own #but abigail hears her in the night and calms her and stays w her #i just.. be havin a lot of feelings about her n them 😩 #[ ooc. ]

[serenasoutherlyns]

I wrote this like a month ago

ok bear in mind here that i haven't actually watched much of seasons 17-20 of l&o but

law & order not having jack actually mourn or acknowledge that alex borgia, his friend and colleague and mentee, was murdered in an especially brutal way, at least partially because he gave her advice that turned out to have been dangerous... lazy and disappointing writing :(

this is part of why i haven't watched past season 16 even though i theoretically like connie rubirosa (not mike cutter lmao). like. just because he wasn't romantically involved with her doesn't mean he's not going to feel pain/grief over her loss!! maybe there's a time skip sure, but idk it just doesn't sit right with me.

like... compare her death to claire's. claire died in an accident while jack and her were having an argument. nobody specifically sought her out to kill her so i can see how her death would feel especially senseless and unjust. and he was in love with her so of course it's going to tear him apart. and he was the one to call her, and she was emotionally hurting and he wasn't being supportive of her, so her death is going to dramatically change who jack is as a person, no argument there.

but alex died by choking on her own vomit after being brutally beaten by people who thought she wronged them. she wouldn't have gotten into that situation if she hadn't, on jack's advice, gotten involved in that case. and sure, she and jack weren't together romantically. but he cares about her, she listens to him, she's like. a really good person. and these people killed her one of the most horrifying ways imaginable for information she doesn't have. it would make sense that, after claire's death, seeing someone else he cares about die like that, that he'd be numb, or hopeless, or in general turn his feelings inward, maybe he isn't going to show much fire.

but he's not going to just forget about it? look at how outraged and hurt and fired up he is in the episode where she dies!! also after the jeopardy he put his professional life in to get her killers in prison? he clearly cares about her and i just don't buy that he doesn't change a lot as a person after her death. but instead of showing any of that they just have connie come in an act kind of a lot like alex did. he loved her, as a friend and as a colleague.

anyway the only adas (sorry 2 paul robinette who i haven't watched yet) whose departures make a lot of sense to me are: 1) jamie ross, who leaves to spend more time with her daughter, a conflict that has been there since the very beginning of her time on the show; and 2) abbie carmichael, who makes a smart career move and becomes a federal prosecutor which seems up her alley with the amount of resources they can offer. claire's death makes a lot of narrative sense as a juxtaposition with the execution at the beginning of the episode (a meticulously planned death vs. a senseless accident) and is also the kind of heartbreaking tragedy that i love in tv. serena leaving makes NO SENSE AT ALL and is so poorly done oh my god, i pretend that arthur actually did fire her for being gay, that actually works way better for the narrative. arthur doesn't have to be a good man (he's fucking antichoice for godsakes it makes sense that he'd be homophobic and/or put his political career ahead of doing the right thing).

basically, they should've either not killed alex or actually handled her death. grumph.

* please let me know if i'm wrong (if anybody reads this) and i just haven't found the episode where her life/death comes up, i have not actually watched most of the seasons <3.

#alexandra always hated that #my favorite seasons in order are roughly 5&6 followed by 12; 13; 7&8; 9&10; 11; 14&15&16 #law and order rants! #-- he says about the scotch. he really cared about her and to have it just not appear in s17 #as far as i can tell is just cheap and sad #this is why i'm writing a fic about alex borgia's ghost #would i have queue in my dreams tonite