#i gave her a nicer cape for her photo shoot

[greyias]

So, I promised @captainderyn pictures of my old lady elf in LOTRO, although this is like several months later after the big expansion/prelaunch sale weekend when I rolled her up, because I get easily distracted.

Her name is Anariel, a High Elf who was one of the veeeeery first elves to travel to Middle Earth, so there is a small chance she is actually older than dirt because of this. Anyway, she's a war veteran who was once upon a time, so badass she saved Thranduil from giant spiders, rode with Gil-Galad, and routinely just did everything it seemed on the battlefield in the Second Age*. Then she got oopsie stabbed by a Nazgul, and sort of took a three thousand year nap and lost 100 in-game levels???

As you do.

And then she wakes up and Elrond is all "o hai, you slept so long that you forgot how to walk so here's a butter knife to defend yourself** ", and then hands you a "Third Age for Dummies" book because she slept through an entire era and tells his sons to take grandma to the bus stop so she doesn't miss her boat to the Elvish retirement home.

* - This opening sequence actually was pretty nifty to play when I did, as I'd just finished watching the ROP finale, and really played into the feels for all of the characters introduced in that show.

** - I'm paraphrasing. It's been a hot minute and a completely different computer since I played the intro sequence. But I did have a butter knife equipped when I logged in today. So. Um. Thanks for that old buddy?

Then the twins got her to the old elves casino bus and were like "Well, have fun Grandma! I know we said we'd see you off but we're going to do something else. Don't do anything we wouldn't do! And especially don't miss your ship!"

Then she hallucinates a bunch of conversations with dead people, which was sad until suddenly she just started talking to an invisible Elrond who to my admittedly limited Tolkein knowledge is not dead, so maybe her going to Elves Retirement Home isn't such a bad idea? But imaginary Elrond & co said "nah it's boring there, you should go make trouble here"

And then she did.

Some of Grandma Anariel's favorite past-times include:

Getting lost on the map, because wayfinding in that game is stupidly difficult. It's okay though because the game gave me a title for it:

It knows me so well.

She also likes leaping off tall cliffs and hills instead of taking the properly marked paths, and T-posing her way to the ground:

And then limping along painfully for a good long while:

She's also learning modern technology, and is starting to figure out how to take proper selfies

Anyway she was asked to go find an Elf Lord's son, found his bag instead and was like "Um sorry bro?" so now she's off to apparently start a war with the dwarves???

Slow down, Grandma! Middle Earth is clearly not ready for you to have woken up from your nap.

Anyway, I hope you like her @captainderyn. She might wind up burning the whole place down at this rate.

#grandma anariel #i THOUGHT about making grey for like 0.5 seconds #but honestly #grandma anariel is 1000x funnier #and i wasn't even joking about any of the above #that's the actual opening quest for high elves #like elrond seriously gives you a fucking butter knife to defend yourself #and your 3000+ year old armor #that no one has washed #the cape on it is literally in tatters and barely holding together #i gave her a nicer cape for her photo shoot #lotro #lord of the rings online #thank you all for talking about the spring festival #you reminded me the game exists and i should log in #although i probably shouldn't let anariel go there #i think at the rate she's going #she might spike the punch or something