#i just want to kill someone 🙃 /j

[levbolton]

It is I, anon from earlier today and I can now in confidence tell you that your fics have broken me down into nothingness.

Not only am I stupid and cannot read tags but I repeatedly let myself be comforted by your writing only to be hit with the sad truth at the end. You can’t keep getting away with this /j .Your style is so unique and I can feel the passion you have for the characters as you can see their inner turmoils on the writings. I love how you bring them to life

My personal favourite is Monologue (which is highly underrated btw). I love the dynamic between Fumi and Maki plus Fumi talking about her day made me smile so much. Then cane the gut wrenching feeling about Maki. Honestly you managed to balance the fluff with the angst out so well and I really adored it.

To conclude this annoying fan’s rambling, you are my favourite blue period writer and such a great storyteller. I know how you’ve stated that the fandom is quite inactive (cause it is) but your presence manages to be so outstanding to me. I don’t know why I was too nervous to follow now but I might as well write my letter of appreciation so it can be covered by the bots.

I hope you are able to continue doing what you love and have a great rest of day. 🙃

thanks op, kinda figured bcs i have emails from ao3 and your usernames match

personally 'monologue' is quite the lackluster for me, i wanted to use the concept, i think i wanted to make it about ytyt with yotasuke that would tell yatora about the summer festival only to reveal at the end that yatora was unconscious the whole time so yotasuke wasn't talking with anyone, i got the idea while working on 'a psychological take' (where i wrote already a summer festival so it felt unnecessary to do it again) and at the same time i wanted to write fumimaki (bcs there's literally nothing for this married couple, almost canon i'd say, more canon than ytyt), so i combined both, i was still in a phase where i wanted to kill all characters and make them suffer which i think i did a lot and now i just want to write them relax and be happy (writing depression is hard), so it's not really that original inside my head, but im glad at least someone else likes it (for me billy of tea was way more fun to think about)

tbh i've been thinking about moving on from blp for quite a few months already but i simply can't find something else to interest me the same way ytyt does, which sucks bcs if i don't write then no one will write stuff, rn i want to finish this fic i'm sorking on (i hope i get to 100k), then a oneshot about ytyt soulmates and another oneshot about miki and ayano only, then idk, i think it would be good to retire (not to be petty actually, but i did write 40% of the words in the yatoyota tag on ao3)

fandom isn't really only inactive, it is now a bit (i continuously try to collect blp fans here and on twt, the more the merrier), but i just felt ignored since the anime was airing, again maybe it was the bad timing bcs i started posting my first fic towards the end of the anime when people lost the interest bcs that adaptation is horrible, then in february yamaguchi had covid and from march to july it was complete hiatus and then the whole dj drama (which i'd lie if i said the mob mentality to drop it didn't affect me too although i was the one to uncover the doujinshis on my own weeks before it got to twitter, anyway my idea was: this isn't a piece of media i care about and i am already deeply in love with blue period so whatever, my respect for yamaguchi decreased and i got a passive aggressive attitude towards her until she posted the new year ytyt picture with bunnies this january, now i seriously don't care abt whatever else she drew - also damn i'm really side railing with this)

thanks again for your support, sorry for the long unnecessary text lmao, i have too much free time

[hotdamnhunnam]

Kutte Open

A/N: Okay bitches, I don’t even know why I did this 🥲 I guess it’s no secret that I’m emotionally masochistic?! I’m also a masochist sexually, when it comes to Charlie, fucking obviously, but (shockingly for me) there is no sex in this. I mean there sort of is I guess? But I digress. This takes place in the KutteVerse series, set near the end of Kutte to Black Part 3. But it can also be read as a standalone angst thingy.

I saw the gif and was listening to this song, one that I’ve loved since I was young – Coldplay’s “A Message” – and that resulted in this absolute wreckage 💔

Pairing: Jax Teller x F!Reader Warnings: swearing, tiny bit of smut, death death death angst angst angst like I’m sorry but also I’m not?? 🙃 

Word Count: ~1.5k

He doesn’t dare.

It kills him but he doesn’t care.

Thumb hovers just above the low light of the screen. He keeps these messages from you to fill the empty in between. Between this life and what comes after. Pray against all odds you’re waiting for him there. He doesn’t have a fucking prayer. Still he’s hoping. Fill the silence with the echo of your smile as it shatters into laughter. Heart cut open. Hopes to find you in the tear.

You’re everywhere.

Rush of your breath. Brush of your hair. Crush of your skin, crashing in love so deep it had to be a sin. The absence crushing him to death. The weight of nothing just too much. Broken and bare. Desperate to touch. Just heavy air.

You’re everywhere.

You knew the risk you chose to make, the chance you had to take, and you were never scared. You looked the reaper in the eye and fucking dared. Fuck’s sake, he wishes you had left some of that strength here in the hollow of his heart now as it aches. Each beat a break. But you left nothing in your wake.

Just heavy air. It hurts to breathe and so some nights he doesn’t dare.

You’re everywhere.

You’re everywhere.

You’re nowhere.

Dark of night—into the light—he wants to go there.

Spends himself into his hand. Release spills dull and pale without a place to land. To you this pearly white had promised love and life and you’d have died for just a drop. You’d take it all in every hole and never stop. Beam up at him with beauty brighter than the beast in him could stand.

The fairytale ended as fast as it began and he won’t ever stand for anything again.

He’d tried, and failed like hell, to be with someone once. After a spell of many months. You’d understand. It’s what you would’ve wanted, everyone had said—as if they had a goddamn clue what you would want—the beast has needs that can be fed only in bed. Jax could still hold you in his heart and in his head. Just seek release inside another nameless cunt. No vow is broken now you’re dead.

But that’s the thing. You’re fucking not.

You’re still breathing. As long as his heart is still beating. You had always been the reason. Summer rose outlives its season. Bright hot memory of you the only breath of life he’s got.

He doesn’t dare to play the record of your voice. His wrecked heart shudders at the thought. But doesn’t have a fucking choice.

The message on the screen from years ago demands that he descend into the void knowing full well that it destroys.

Hits play, just as he had that fateful day, and holds it up against his ear.

Pretends you’re here.

“J-Jax.”

Parted for years, still tastes the salt spill of your tears. Comes flooding back. All of his bones are dashed to ash as your voice cracks.

“Jax, someone’s here and I…” pause as you hear a muffled sob—the infant son, you’d come to love just as your own, those bright blue eyes—sweet baby Abel, in his crib upon the table. There beside you in those moments when your heart was doomed to stop. You’d save the son from that same fate if it’s the last damn thing you’d do. “Baby, don’t cry. Mama’s got you. Shhh little angel don’t you cry.”

Don’t cry. How dare you tell him not to cry. Don’t die. How dare you fucking die.

“Whatever happens, Jax, I just…” Jax feels your heart echo its last beats in his chest. You fear the few men standing watch will fail in their noble defense no matter if they try their best. There was no reason to expect that you’d have uninvited guests. But just to live this life of chaos ran the risk of sudden threats. Such is the price of life as queen to your beloved king. “…want you to know I wouldn’t change a fucking thing.”

Cut your heart open with the diamond on that godforsaken ring.

“Coming back home and staying here to be with you was the best thing I ever did. Don’t you dare blame yourself for anything,” you say knowing full well he’s a self-hating piece of shit. “Any of it.”

Another pause looking down at the little kid. Someday he might’ve called you mom. Jax sees the smile break across your face although he wasn’t home. He wasn’t there. Soft hand sweeps over sun-gold hair. Angel eyes so much like his father it’s not fair.

He feels you now. Deeper somehow. The reaper feeding on his fears. His eyes fall shut to weep your tears. He isn’t here—he’s somewhere else—he wasn’t there. Don’t blame yourself. You make him vow. Don’t break that vow. He doesn’t dare.

“Don’t fucking dare. I love you so much if it kills me I don’t care.”

God, it’s just not—not fucking fair…

“I’ll love you still. I always will.”

Last words before the line goes dead just as the reaper comes to kill.

Words echo long after the message ends. The weight of truth no line could ever send. Words are violence. In his heart he’d always heard you best in silence.

When your young love had first blossomed in that rosy Redwood haze, the two of you had vowed to love each other till your dying days. Swore it again eleven years later when you became his bride.

Only at death’s bed did you realize you would love him harder from the other side.

I said I’d love you till I died.

I fucking lied.

Reaper can’t keep this heart from beating for you even if he tried.

He tried.

God knows he fucking tried.

Yet true to your words Jax can feel your heart still beating ‘cause it’s his. Hole in his chest cut open wide. That’s what this is. You never left since you first made your home inside.

***************

The message from the day you died—the fatal seconds just before—there shouldn’t have been any record that could cut him open more.

But so there is and so he listens here tonight.

Bleeds on the knife, cleaves to it tight. It bleeds like life. The life that lost a dying fight.

Message from just a few days prior to the night he lost his light.

“Hey,” voice is quiet but bright—almost as if you knew you were holding the reaper at bay—fighting, hiding away. But you didn’t know shit. You just knew that you’d never been happier than on that day. Had no clue that the door was flung wide for the reaper to close it. “Just wanted to say I can’t wait to come home, babe. Been so fucking giddy all day and maybe it’s the hormones but work is a bitch and I’ve got to escape.”

Night before. You and him on the bathroom floor. Seated against the wall both breathing deeply—you in his reaper tee, him in his leather. The black of his kutte the backdrop to the little white stick in your hand that could open a whole other door. Promise I haven’t taken a peek at it, Teller. Let’s check it together.

“Who even leaves voicemails these days? I’m a fucking disgrace. I just miss you. I want to just run home and hug you and fuck you and kiss you. I still can’t get over that look on your face. When the truth of it hit you.”

Hits him to this day. All his days. In his cut open heart the dead weight of the truth here to stay. Once had given such life—in the wake of his wife, it just slays.

“It still hasn’t hit me in some ways. I’m feeling so much but I’m numb. Maybe later today it’ll come?”

The hope in your voice hits across time and space. Through the rift that cut open to reap you and keep you away from his loving embrace. Hope he’s fated forever to chase.  Just come home. Just come home.

Sitting there in your office you grumble at something that somebody says. How could anyone dare cut through your happy haze? How dare they. That’s just dumb. Almost as if you knew, that the happy days left in your life were so few. Take them now as they come. 

Run to him through the wide open door before fate tries to seal it shut. Lock it. “Know what—fuck it, I’m getting out of this place.”

In his bed all alone, dead and gone, he feels you in his bones. Not your voice through the phone. Your heart beats in his own.

The crow always flies back to its calling, no matter how far it may roam.

Flying still. Always will. Carried on the last words that you spill.

“Baby, I’m coming home.”

***************

… Sooooo yeah I mean if you loved this or hated this or anything at all, please let me knowwwww and I’ll love you forever lol 🥲♥️

– KutteVerse Masterlist

– Main Masterlist

*************************

Tag List – Join Here!*

*If you’re unable to use that link to join the tag list, just let me know and I’ll manually add you to it!

@itsme-autumn @rebelwrites @happyhunnams @band--psycho @witching-hour @est11 @edonaspanca @ughdontbeboring @neverland14353 @starbooty @coffeequeenxx @innerpaperexpertcloud @i-love-scott-mccall @six-camelot @alexa-rae-dreamz @justme2042 @awesomenatalia @auroraariza @rochyu @coffeebooksandfandom @inlovewithcharliehunnam @turner-cris @thesuicidalflower @chrmdnbeautiful @xladymacbethx @holl2712 @snow-white-74 @moonlight-fern @stitchesbystults @lilacyennefer @magic-room @sunflower12335 @trishmarieofficial @smoochesfroggos @o0idk0o @beth-winchester21 @flaireandsynch @littlebennettwitchsblog @got-to-love-a-badboy @noneofyourbusinessssblog @notquitecannon @wayward-avenging @travistheaussie @helloheyhihowdyheya @christycarnell6 @dinopin @leathercladmenfics @magictehnique @amberembers @addcrastinator3 @gemini0410 @waywardodysseys @foreve-free @midnvght-lies @wiccanash @batmanb @xbreezymeadowsx @louisianalady @perhapstan @beethebuzzbuzz72 @boredintheglade [hit the 50-tag limit – list to be continued in a reblog of this fic] 

#jax teller #sons of anarchy #soa #charlie hunnam #jax teller imagine #sons of anarchy imagine #soa imagine #charlie hunnam imagine #jax teller fanfiction #sons of anarchy fanfiction #soa fanfiction #charlie hunnam fanfiction #jax teller x reader #jax teller x you #charlie hunnam x reader #charlie hunnam x you #kutte to black #KutteVerse

[msookyspooky]

Y/n - "I love how you both choked me half to death and yet you're not the bad guy in this story." My fav part of Ch 5.

Ch 5 spoilers

I love how Stu was talking about how James was a piece of crap, but let's be real, he ain't no better. Us pointing that out shows just how hypocritical him and Billy are. Technically speaking, it's cause him and Billy threatened James that he got insecure, got drunk, then proceeded to choke us nearly to death as Beck played in the background 😍 how romantic 🙃 They were trying to do the right thing I suppose, but their actions could have contributed to us nearly getting killed that night.

My point is, right after we accused him of choking and punching us in the face, aka being physically abusive just like James and being a hypocrite, he immediately tried to make up an excuse. Tried to justify his actions by saying he did it bc he had to 🤡 OKAY CLOWN. We once again pointed out that he did it bc he was hurt and scared. Like James, he CHOSE to nearly kill us, to be physically abusive. Stu tried to promise us that it would never happen again and that's the really sad part.

We told him straight up "You can't promise me that." And my heart HURT at that. For some reason I even have tears in my eyes typing this 🤣 He said he could, but we refused to believe him 😭 bc it's true. The devastating truth is that they are no better than James. Stu was physically and emotionally abusive in the past and so was Billy. When Billy choked us outside during Set Up we even called him "James" and it wasn't until we said that that he completely stopped. We even said in Sequels Suck that he should keep the name James cause it suits him 🤐 and we were speaking facts.

This all connects to what we told Stu in the diner - I can't believe you bc your just like him 😭 and that's a hard pill to swallow. James was a product of abandonment by his father just like Billy's abandonment issues with his mom. They all have anger issues and are control freaks. It's the same cycle and yet we love them so much 😭 We refuse to repeat it and be treated cruelly again, and it just goes to show how damaged we really are.

This could all be foreshadowing that they will try to kill us again or turn against us and we deserve so much better man 💔 We refuse to be Hallie and like we told her about Mickey - The knife will always come before you, and he will never truly love you. We told her this bc it's the exact same situation we are in. If we're not strong enough, if we're not smart enough, they could kill us and that hurts 😞

Sorry I ranted lol I just love this story too much 😂 I love the angst.

THIS....OMG....I HAVE NO WORDS BC YOU ALREADY SAID EVERY THOUGHT I HAVE SO PERFECTLY!!!

THIS is EXACTLY what I try to convey in the writing bc it's logical. We in the slasher community would love some bad boy that will kill someone for us but never us....That's not how it works. Bc ONE DAY; you're gonna piss him off or he's bored or he has a moment where you're at the other end of that knife just like anyone else.

It secretly eats me alive when readers get on my comments about "Omg why aren't we with them? But Stu's clearly changed! We need to give them a chance right away! Omg James was such a piece of shit he deserved to die but not Billy or Stu they saved us!!!"

BABE....NO. LITERALLY USE CRITICAL THINKING HERE.

I get it! Who doesn't like fluff? Who doesn't wanna cuddle and love Billy and Stu just a lil? But...They are murderers bestie.

James choked us and controlled us....What did Billy and Stu do? Choked us, controlled us, used us, hit us, shot us, tried to stab us, was going to murder or frame us.

Billy and Stu are not the heros here. They're grey villians/anti heros at best that are only helping us right now bc their asses are in the grease fire too. They're helping themselves by helping us.

Stu looks at us as the prize he wants and thinks he deserves but never got and god knows what he'll do once he wins and is bored of us.

Billy is just in it to end this before it starts in his ball court. I would actually argue his caring for us is more genuine than Stu who falls hard and fast and falls out just as easily...But Billy still loves himself and his knife more.

Do they care about us? Yes. But at this point in the story they have VERY fucked up views of love and we aren't falling down the rabbit hole with them. They have a long way to go.

#i get so hyped when you all see these details and see the bigger picture outside of 'but they're hot and love us' #i could kiss u anon 😙🥰😍

[s-lay-ing]

Alphabet tag! 🐙

Hello everyone! I was tagged by Cat aka @softlysweetlystan to this tag and tbh I was WAITING for someone to tag me in it soooooooo thank you so much! 😁

A: AGE - 21

B: BIRTHPLACE - Chile!

C. CURRENT TIME - 2am

D: DRINK YOU HAD LAST - water

E: EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO - oh boy, trick question 😅 it’s complicated rn but I have two friends who allow me to rant about stuff and yeah

F: FAVORITE SONG - a lot of people think you can’t have favorite songs but I kind of disagree ?) anyways: of all time? currently? overall? western/eastern???? - of all time: (I’m naming only ten to avoid making this longer) la vie en rose - grace jones, ghost town - cheap trick, rock the casbah - the clash, walking on the moon - the police, flawless - george michael, the last day of summer - the cure, d’yer mak’er - led zeppelin, the killing moon - echo & the bunnymen, the shadow of love - the damned, sunday morning - the bolshoi - currently: svt’s clap and astro’s crazy sexy cool!

G: GROSSEST MEMORY - hmm, idk. Can’t think of sth rn :o

H: HOGWARTS HOUSE - Slytherin

I: IN LOVE? -  sure jan 😂

J: JEALOUS OF PEOPLE - not really ?) except people who have lots of money and waste it

K: KILLED SOMEONE - YESS, I’ve killed lots of bugs mercilessly 😭

L: LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT OR SHOULD I WALK BY AGAIN - walk by again ?) first sight is mostly about looks so if you don’t focus on their personalities then you’re bound to let a disaster happen 😁

M: MIDDLE NAME - which one of the two I have? 😂😂😂

N: NUMBER OF SIBLINGS - two, I’m the middle one

O: ONE WISH - I want my band to be legendary for fucks saaaake!!!

P: PERSON YOU CALLED LAST - my mom probably, I rarely to never call people 😂

Q: QUESTION YOU ARE ALWAYS ASKED - “You are not a minor??? You look fifteen!“ or the all time classic: what are you going to do with your life? 🙃

R: REASON TO SMILE - so many reasons to smile tbh!

S: SONG YOU SANG LAST - lips like sugar - echo & the bunnymen

T: TIME YOU WOKE UP - I think around 2pm ?)

U: UNDERWEAR COLOR - i r r e l e v a n t ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

V: VACATION DESTINATION - that I want to go? Greece and the Maldives, after that I’m up for everything. That I’m going to? Santiago and Viña in a couple of weeks! 

W: WORST HABIT - GOING TO SLEEP AT SUCH UNHOLY HOURS I mean yeah being awake at night is peaceful but you can’t do a thing! Can’t make noise bc the rest is sleeping so 😅 also I kind of suck with social media ???? I have accounts for everything yet I barely use them 😂😂😂 twitter is mostly for info and fb to keep up with friends and ig…idfk what’s up with ig but yep 😂

Y: YOUR FAVORITE FOOD - Italian food!!! I adore it! Same with chinese food (even tho the owner of the restaurant where I get it isn’t even chinese apparently???)

X: X-RAYS - I’ve had some 💀

Z: ZODIAC SIGN - scorpio

tagging: @strawberryboo @ilyjs @sparkleskwan @king-hao @triplehsofresh @whatsol @jeongjarsofhannie @aceshua @jisoosmeoli @babybyuny @sambashua (mir I’m p sure you’ve been flooded with tag games so I’m tagging you just because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) and whoever wants to do this!

As usual, it’s okay if you don’t feel like doing it :))

#tag games #yaay! #thank you sm for tagging me! have a nice week! #edit: i had this on my drafts and ????????????? forgot to post it ??????????? #edited some answers bc yeah...that c: