#i kind of have some thoughts rattling up there about nmj and the concept of Attachments/everyday joys

[leatherbookmark]

my (probably easily solvable with just reading the necessary parts in the novel lol) problem with the post abt how it’s not that nmj doesn’t have any hobbies, it’s just wwx being unreliable, is... okay. “wwx knew this from the time my was working under nmj” -- how did he know this? was he close to them during that time? close enough to notice my’s attempts at finding nmj a hobby and nmj’s incompatibility with these? were there rumors about these that reached wwx’s ears? why would people talk about that, though? or did wwx come up with a random headcanon on the spot?

(i’m honestly puzzled by quite a number of things wrt the narration; often i can’t discern if the narration is from wwx’s pov, showing us what he knows, or if it’s omniscient narration that tells us the true state of things. in the first chapters of the novel, after wwx is brought back to life, a lot of the information feels too... informed to be wwx’s knowledge, unless he spends most of his time in inns gossiping with people, but also too flimsy/gossipy-sounding to be the Objective Truth.  that, or i’ve lost the ability to read lmao;;)

i do feel like empathy is less “a sequence of separate scenes shown by the deceased exactly as they want it” and more “the deceased sharing with wwx the state of having experienced their memories, with focus on the memories/feelings they want him to see”, though. nmj’s empathy sequence has time skips, sums up nmj’s dissastisfaction with his new deputy envoy without a concrete “scene” to illustrate it... therefore, my trying to “find nmj’s weakness/hobby” could be just something that happened between the lines that wwx/mxtx simply didn’t find important enough to describe earlier. it wouldn’t be surprising, considering other things that mxtx doesn’t consider necessary to write about.

wwx sure can misinterpret people’s activities, but i don’t see him coming up with a headcanon about something as mundane; he could have simply observed that nmj can taste “tea. that’s tea for sure, aye” regardless of the quality of the leaves, that he doesn’t care for wartime tension-relieving hookups or about the artistic properties of a calligraphy scroll. the “meng yao was trying his best to find something in nmj that he could exploit later” bit is a bit confusing again, because it talks about my’s intent that was somehow noticeable for either nmj or wwx or both. but then, i could easily imagine my trying to get nmj to relax, asking him how he unwinds and then trying to find something for him (and failing), or alternatively: nmj adding the “everything he did was to figure out my weaknesses to exploit my trust!” tint in, uh, post-production.

on the other hand, i also simply wonder if the 当年孟瑶在聂明玦手底下做事时魏无羡就见识过了 sentence has anything in the phrasing that would hint at how exactly wwx obtained the ~intel~: personally during the war or via empathy. hmm

in general though -- i don’t think that nmj having no hobbies other than practicing his saber is necessarily bad, or something a hater would say. dude seems like someone who’s busy as hell, and there’s a certain straightforwardness about him that just gives me the idea that he’d be... rather utilitarian in the things he does. he focuses on the saber training because the nie sect Does Sabers Here, sir, to the point that he doesn’t even go “okay whatever, my did is shit at the saber, let him be a diplomat instead” but constantly nags him about saber practice. practice your saber, and you’ll be a good sect leader, and you’ll be able to protect people and vanquish evil. functionality!

and if he sees a painting, well, does the painted mountain succeed at looking like a mountain? then it’s a good painting, he guesses. is the calligraphy legible? then it’s good. but are they useful? if it’s a book with lan rules, a map, a name of a pavillion or a motto for the disciples to live by -- then sure, but if it’s yet another poem about the beauty of flowers? eh, they’re fine. a character written on fancy paper solely to be beautiful? in what way is it going to influence you? it’s not? then why have it in the first place. an expensive fan painted by a master painter? you’d cool yourself down just as effectively with a blank, cheaper one. etc, etc

#i kind of have some thoughts rattling up there about nmj and the concept of Attachments/everyday joys #like... he's. going to die and he knows it. i feel that aside from 'is it useful' things like women arts food etc etc are things that... #make one reluctant to part with the world. distract one from their true goal -- fucking these wens up and making sure nhs ends up a good #sect leader (task failed succesfully.) #idk. it just. checks out. i'm aware nmj enthusiasts will have more to say about his internal life because they want to see him human and #full of Thoughts and Emotions! but i uh. have seen one 'nmj actually a cool chill dude ruined by the Bad Evil jgy' take too many #and i don't actually care for a nmj who collects beetles and makes them little houses or tends to a private rock garden because it just #feeds into this idea that nmj was essentially fine. just needed his meds! and then jgy went and ruined everything! #when it uh. wasn't the case. so #shrimp thoughts