#i know she looks shite now but she'll get better

[blackjackkent]

Found Mol over by the bar, basking in her chess victory.

"Nice strategy back there. If we put our heads together, I bet you and me could make a tidy stack of coin in Baldur's Gate." She grins, then shrugs casually. "But Raphael's offered me a partnership already, and it seems like a sweeter deal than throwing my lot in with you."

Karlach immediately responded to this, shaking her head and sounding more sad than we've ever heard her.

"No, kid. No..."

No doubt she's remembering her own childhood, her being passed off to partnership with a devil and how it ruined her whole life.

Hector's one level of cleric got him a persuasion check here to talk Mol out of it, which obviously he's going to take because a) he doesn't want to see this kid get snapped up in Raphael's clutches, and b) Karlach sounding that sad is tearing his heart out.

"Raphael is a real, literal devil," he says gravely, looking down at Mol. "These creatures care not for you, only your soul."

Mol tilts her head thoughtfully. "You...you aren't joking?" She snorts. "Huh. I kind of believe him more now than I did a minute ago."

Well, that backfired. Hector tries the monk's approach - aphorism. "Like a prick from a scorpion, Raphael's deals seem innocuous, but they are poison," he says.

Mol smirks. "Poison - sure. You must love the taste of it. He seems to know you pretty well."

Hector stiffens. "I know him well enough to know he's a trickster," he says sharply.

"Do as I say, not as I do, right?" Mol rolls her eyes. "Got a lot of that from Zev, too, and he was a walking pile of imp shite at the end of hte day. Look, you saved us. Not knockin' that. But after you left, Zevlor lost his nerve, gave up the fight. I won't. Now there's no grove, no coin, and no one taking us to the city. I'm not letting my crew be eaten by shadows."

She folds her arms and juts her jaw out stubbornly. "Maybe I'll make a deal, maybe I won't. But it'll be *my* choice. Not the devil's, and not yours."

---

Karlach watches the kid walk away with a terribly sad expression, then smiles ruefully as she catches Hector watching her. "One of the worst things about getting old. Watching kids make the exact mistakes you made, and knowing there's absolutely nothing you can say to change their mind."

She sighs. "Then again, Mol's a hell of a lot smarter than I was at that age. Maybe she'll figure it out."

Hector frowns. Once again he feels that undeniable urge to reach out to her. To touch her, hold her, protect her from the fear and the sadness when it takes away her smile. But he can't even do that, let alone find words that will somehow make it all okay.

"She will," he says quietly. "She's clever - frighteningly so." Is it true? He can only hope. But saying anything else seems cruel at best.

Karlach does smile a little at that, and that makes him feel a bit better. "True enough," she says. "She'll go far in the city...we've just got to get her there safely."

Hector nods. There are a lot of steps between here and there, but he doesn't bother pointing that out. Karlach knows it all too well, just the same as he does.

#bjk plays baldur's gate 3 #hector carlisle

[umbralsound-xiv]

A Wake Up Call.

Stirring, Q'kura slowly opens his eyes with a groan; as though waking from a long slumber. It takes a few moments for him to recall all that had happened; what had transpired immediately before he woke, coming to his senses with a sharp gasp. He doesn't say anything, but the noise is one of panic, testing the restraints at his arms, his legs and--- His -leg-. The limb screamed with pain, Q'kura giving a hiss of displeasure at the pain that bit into him. Almost completely dark, it's clear he hasn't noticed anyone in his vicinity.

Where... Am i? We were walking back from Ul'dah, when... ....Oh gods, no... This can't be real, can it? Please, tell me it was some terrible dream! I have to get out, i have to---

S'vexrha Tchuma, having been somewhat lost in thought as she waited for Q'kura to awaken, flicks her ears as he began to stir. She soundlessly corrects how she sits, facing him. The briefest moment of consideration settles a shit-eating grin on Vex's lips, as she raises a hand to hover it by her chest. A surge of aether sparks a flame in her palm, ominously lighting up her face akin to someone telling horror stories by a campfire with a flashlight under their chin. "-Hi-." She greets. Loudly. Obnoxiously.

The small wince of pain buckles into a yelp at the suddenness of Vex's features, causing Q'kura to wrench back from the bars in shock. "V-vex!" He calls, features falling. "Don't -do- that! I---" Quietly considering his position, and noting the bars between the two of them, he can barely make out the rest of the room he's sat in. Momentarily keeping his quiet, his ears slowly begin to lower…

Cruel fate, and now i'm with her! How the tables have turned, now i'm the one in a sodding cell! Think, Q'kura, there has to be a way out of here!

S'vexrha Tchuma's grin widens, an amused chuckle leaving her. "Why not? -I- thought it was funny."

Q'kura Tia: "Well, that's all well and fine for you! You're… You…" He can barely move his leg properly, another pained hiss between his teeth. "…Where am i?"

S'vexrha Tchuma shifts the way she sits, opting to hoist herself onto her feet but remaining crouched, elbows resting upon her thighs. "Somewhere you can't get pried out from, if Grym cared enough to try."

Q'kura Tia: "H---He--- They'll come looking! They won't just leave me here!" Already the desperation begins to hang on his words. "You can't do this to me! Let me out, this instant!"

...They will, won't they? I... I'm... They don't have many healers left, they have to come looking, they have to know that i'm in trouble, and they'll... They will...! Jixa! Jixa was running, she's fast! She'll send word!

S'vexrha Tchuma: "-Sure-." Vex scoffs, before raising a brow. "Technically, -I- didn't do shite to you other than fling fire in front of you. And.. No." She smiles.

Q'kura Tia: "Vex…" His tone turned pleading then. "Please, i never hurt you! I won't tell Grym, i promise! I just--- I…" He shifts a little, realising his once-full pockets were now empty. Even his glasses were missing, as he reflexively attempted to push them up his nose, not that they were there, or he could have removed his hand to do so anyway. "What… What will happen to me…?"

She isn't an awful person, Vex. Perhaps i can appeal to her better nature? Maybe she'll let me out... She knows how it feels, yes? Please, Vex, i never laid a finger on you, you have to let me out!

S'vexrha Tchuma: "You didn't. You did cause a whole lot of shit for Eir and Sayuri, though. And, you know.. They're my -friends-." Vex tilts her head, crimson gaze locked upon Q'kura. "I ain't letting you out." She states, then offers a small shrug. "Ain't up to me, but you'll get to live. For now. Which is more than the others got."

That he gets to live seems to calm him somewhat, at least until he thinks on it a little longer, anxiety beginning to crawl up his throat. "They--- All of them? Parvan, Kana i saw…" He swallows again. "…All of them?"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "All of them." She confirms. "Parvan, Kana, Silent Tide, Vjesha… Jixa. All dead." A smile remains plastered on Vex's lips as she speaks.

He sucks in a breath as to stifle… Something. His shoulders tense, and for a moment he looks like he might be sick. "…You kept me alive." His gaze moves to Vex's, fearful. "…On purpose?"

...Well fuck, there's that idea gone. Jixa is dead, and i'm... The only one left? Fuck! ...I'm the only one left. They could have killed me there, and they didn't, and they... ...What are they going to do to me? Torture? Oh, no no, please no! I can't... I can't!

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Do you think you'd be alive right now if it wasn't on purpose, Q'kura? You know damn well who was with me. And she knows what part you held in Eir's capture, leading to Sayuri's. If she had planned to outright kill you, we wouldn't have this conversation."

S'vexrha Tchuma beams at you.

Q'kura Tia: "No…" The word leaves with a waver, as Q'kura attempts to struggle free. "No, no! Vex, please, you have to let me out! Please!" He tries in vain to wrest his arms free, to no avail. "X'llaya and the Viera are free now anyway! She has what she wants, doesn't she? Please, i promise, i won't tell Grym you're here!"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Why would I? You may not have hurt me, but you sure as fuck didn't help me either." She furrows a brow, eyes narrowing faintly. "Sure. They're free. But shit is far from over. We all know Grym ain't just gonna let her go. You know it, I know it, she knows it." Her head then tilts, a small huff leaving her. ".. M'yeah? I heard Jixa say Grym wanted me back, and you shit yourself the moment he stares at you a little too intensely. Like fuck you'd keep quiet."

Grym does want her back, but i can just pretend i never saw Vex! I'll just go back, and pretend nothing happened, and i'll... I'll think of some excuse, they'll believe me I don't want Vex back in there for a second, and X'llaya even less so. I don't give a sod about her Viera, the less i have to heal him the better. ...Though the reward would be nice, if it worked out in my favor...

Q'kura Tia: "But i don't have to tell him! I don't! I don't even want her back, and if i'd have known, i'd have… I'd never have done it! I'm sorry, Vex, i -am-!" He almost sounds sincere. Possibly he is, but the occasion is so rare for him one would never know if he spoke the truth regardless. "I'd be punished if i helped you, you know this!"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "But you probably will to save your own ass." Vex rocks slowly in her crouched position. "If you had known what? That she's real fucking vengeful and wants to kill you?" His apology coaxes a sharp, singular laugh from her. "Bullshit." She snorts, certainly not believing him. "You would. And I knew I would be if I was caught helping Eir and Sayuri flee. Which, if you remember, I was. Don't regret it for a second."

Q'kura Tia: "I already knew that, i heard the stories!" Q'kura bites back, poorly hiding the growing tension, ears pinned back. "Well that was your risk to take! I'm glad they're gone, glad i don't have to pick up Vairg's mess and keep him alive, glad she's not in there picking us off like wounded cattle! I -mean it-." He does, but he has to take a breath to gather his words. "Is… Is that why i'm here?" He dare not ask, but he does. "…Because i'm the last one left that she hasn't killed…?"

Is that why i'm here? Contained like some... Mouse, ready to join the rest of them in the dirt when X'llaya has her hands on me?

Like Hichort, like Keely? No, no! I'm smarter than this, there has to be a way out, a way to convince them that i'm more important to them alive! They... They won't kill me! Please, they can't!

S'vexrha Tchuma: "That you're glad she's gone? Sure. That you're sorry? -Hah-." Another snort. "Partially. But don't worry! She's busy right now." Vex beams a smile.

Q'kura Tia: "Oh -gods-…" Q'kura whines, sinking a little into his shoulders. "You…. You wouldn't let her torture me, would you…?"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "I don't think Sayuri would torture you. Give you a painful death, sure. Torture? Nahh.." She raises her hand and tilts her head into her own palm, keeping her elbow upon her thigh. "Can't promise her sister won't, though!"

Q'kura Tia: "No! Please, Vex, i'll do anything, just…" His mind flickers to the compound, and the various patients he's had… He knew well what might be in store. Glassy eyed, he shuffles just a little closer to the bars, "Please, Vex… Don't let her."

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Do you really think I'd put myself in between her and her goals, for -you-?"

Her answer was given in his silence, dipping his head. He knew she wouldn't; she had no reason to. Filling his lungs, he turns his head away, not willing to show his face. "…Is… Is that all i'm here for? To be slaughtered by Sayuri's hand?"

...That's what they called her, yes? Sayuri? Not her true name, obviously, but the one they call her here. Maybe it will garner me some sort of sympathy. Vex isn't a horrible person. An asshole, but not horrible. Not like Vairg. She at least has a heart, i'm sure.

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Nope." The single word left S’vexrha’s lips in a percussive pop.

Q'kura Tia: "Oh -gods-…" The same exclamation, louder and more desperate, as his head drooped, defeatedly. "Do you… Know what they want from me?"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "I know one of the things, at least. Unsure what else they have in mind."

Q'kura Tia: "…I don't suppose you've much of a mind to tell me…?"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "I could. But I won't."

Q'kura Tia: "…You're not particularly helpful, has anyone ever told you that?"

...So they want me for something. Somehow all of this sits so much worse, knowing that i'm not just here to be slaughtered. What could they possibly want from me? ...Information? There is plenty i could tell them, but... Gods, if someone back at the compound found out what i did...

S'vexrha Tchuma: "They beg to differ." She smiles, raising a hand to flick up her middle finger in his direction. "This thing that they want you for? I gave your name." Her lips curl into a cocky grin.

A look of sheer betrayal passes his features, though it doesn't last long. "…So you allied with the people who saved you. Is that the deal you made? You get those two out, and she'd come back for you?" A small huff leaves Q'kura's nose then, looking mournfully to Vex. "It looks like it worked out for you."

She got lucky. She picked the right people, is all. Have the Gods no interest in fairness? What did she ever do for them! Hmm... If... If they'll help Vex, then maybe... Maybe if i tell them the right things. If i tell them just enough then... Maybe they'll let me go...?

S'vexrha Tchuma: "I learned Eir was still alive, I let Sayuri know. She asked me to seek out her sister, which I did, and we made a deal. For good faith, I told her about Arnkel's group heading to the Burning Wall, you know. When he was the only one who came back alive." The grin remains, crimson gaze settled on Q'kura. "It sure did."

Q'kura Tia: "Have you any idea how many people you've killed?" The indignation in his voice hides the fear, for a moment. "If Grym knew--- If -Eanwin- knew what you did! You saw what she did to Arnkel, and now we can't so much as put ice in a glass of water near him lest she come shouting down the entire mess hall!"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "I'm not in the habit of counting them, to be honest." She hums, peering at him. "She'd want to kill me and Grym wouldn't let her because -apparently- he wants me back alive." She straightens herself a touch. "That sounds like a you-problem. Or maybe it isn't. That remains to be seen, yeah?"

S'vexrha Tchuma beams with delight at you.

No, no, absolutely not. I don't care what Grym wants, i'm not bringing them either back. If they come back, i'm leaving, i don't want to be anywhere near either of them. Ugh! The infirmary is busy enough as it is without me having to put them back together over and over! Not to mention anyone stupid enough to get in arms reach of that frosty little whelp. ...Gods. Breathe, Q'kura. At least... At least here they won't find me, like they say. A mercy that if they don't come looking, at least i won't have to deal with Vairg's stupid face or Eanwin bellowing at me every Twelvesdamned moment something isn't going her way. At least if i do die here, it's nice and quiet and... Peaceful...? Peaceful in that it feels like i'm waiting for my own execution, but suppose i don't have any better word for it.

Frowning, Q'kura lowers his ears that bit further. At least if he died here, he'd never need to see Eanwin again. "I.. Suppose so…" He mumbles with not an ilm of confidence. Despite his newfound containment, Q'kura doesn't look quite as uncomfortable as he perhaps should, even with his broken leg. The shifting of it knits pain on his features again. "All of my things are gone…" He murmurs, hesitating. "…Can i at least have something for my leg?"

S'vexrha Tchuma's head cants anew, noting his calmness but opting not to address it. "What? Did you expect to keep them while in captivity?" She snorts. "I ain't a healer, I don't know what that -something- would be."

Q'kura Tia: "No, of course not. I should know, hm?" He remarks a little bitterly. "A potion, or something--- Ugh, i can't even check if the bones are set…"

...My hands are tied, not that i could fucking do anything with them anyway without my grimoire. I can't see a good way out that involves picking the lock, and i'm not sure if i even could. I don't even know where i am! How many cells are there, anyway? I don't hear any other prisoners... ... Prisoner. Is that... That what i am? I...

S'vexrha Tchuma lingers in thought, as if genuinely considering his request. ".. I am choosing to not snatch things from the medical cabinet without approval."

Q'kura Tia: "Vex! I did… Many unpleasant things, but i never wounded you! I even had the chance to, but i never did! And i never left you wounded! -Please!-"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Difference is that you are a healer, and can use your own resources. I'd be stealing these potions. Which generally isn't a problem, -but- considering that I -like- these people, I ain't doing that to 'em." Her shoulders draw into a small shrug.

Q'kura Tia: "I don't. Have. My Grimoire." Q'kura points out, head inclined. "And i can't heal without one. I studied this, yes? I can't just wave my hands and have the aether bend to my whim like -you-, i had to -study-." Despite his pompous attitude, he sighs. "…Will you at least ask her when she returns?"

...My leg hurts far too much to move it, i couldn't even stand if i tried. I can't... Feel if the bones are set, but it doesn't seem like it. It's going to start hurting much more soon enough if i don't get my hands on some kind of medication... Vex, please... I never left you wounded. I healed you as much as they let me, and it would have been more had i been able to. Perhaps i've made some less savoury decisions in my time, but i've never abandoned my tenets as a healer! ...I've never abandoned a patient, even when i was sure they were beyond saving.

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Ah, the horror of not being born with aether so volatile it tried to murder random people around you because were a little upset as a child." Vex draws her lips into a thin line, eyes narrowing ever so slightly. ".. I will consider it."

Q'kura Tia: "I wasn't -there- when you were a child." He snaps back, sighing. "…But i heard enough from people who were. It's… Appreciated, in any case." A worried knit of his brows peers to his leg, expression softening to something sadder. He chooses not to speak, but at least looks to Vex with the same expression.

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Doesn't change the fact that while I was born with the ability to use magic like so, I couldn't control it." She offers a faint shrug.

Q'kura Tia: "Which is why you were taken. Assumedly. I never asked many questions."

Q'kura Tia: "Well, not about you, anyway."

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Well, you're right about that. Ariq, of all fucking people, figured it out and snagged me."

Q'kura Tia: "And you got your revenge." Q'kura murmurs. A long, wavering breath in sees an equally long exhale. "…I suppose it's my turn, next."

S'vexrha Tchuma: "I did." Vex confirms, letting herself slip back to land on her rear upon the floor, crossing her legs. "Eh, you got some time yet."

Q'kura Tia: "…Do you know how long?" He asks, glancing to her from the corner of his vision.

...Not too long, i hope. I think the stress might kill be before anything else. Maybe... Maybe it will give me time to think of a plan. To think of a way out. But until i know what they want, how am i supposed to? ...Think, Q'kura. There has to be a way out. Unless... Unless they don't plan to feed me...? I... No, no! Please, don't let me starve... Not again...

S'vexrha Tchuma: "Nope, I just know Sayuri's on a trip and ain't back yet."

A long sigh leaves him, closing his eyes. "Wonderful. So i have to wait for that, too." Swallowing the lump in his throat, he tries to speak her name. "…Vex?" He manages, a little quietly.

S'vexrha Tchuma: ".. Mmh?"

Q'kura Tia: "…Please don't let me starve."

I can't go through that again. I'd rather die than starve to death. It's why i don't care to be in the mess hall with the rest, and eat at my desk. They call me a workaholic. But in reality, i can't stand watching people scrabble for every scrap and crumb they're given, knowing it's all they'll have until the next. I don't enjoy being reminded.

S'vexrha Tchuma: ".. This ain't the Compound. You won't be starved."

It's quiet, but a small, "Thank you." Is given from Q'kura, along with a sigh of relief. He doesn't add anything more, awaiting his fate, and no longer having questions to ask, unless Vex had more of her own.

S'vexrha Tchuma offered a small shrug, drumming her fingers against her own legs.

Q'kura Tia: "…So now we wait?"

S'vexrha Tchuma: "… Yep."

Heaving a long sigh, Q'kura sets his head back against the wall… And waits.

S'vexrha Tchuma shifts herself to the side to essentially do the same, leaning against the wall and kicking her legs out to stretch them. To entertain herself while they wait, her hands reach in front of herself and a faint surge of aether brings forth a small flame, idly dancing between her hands.

So... I wait, now. Wait, and think, with only sodding Vex and the throbbing pain in my leg for company. Think about how i'm going to get out. About what they might want. And hope that Vex is a woman of her word, and that they really won't starve me to death.

#[What We Want Most] #FFXIV #IC #Screenshot #Writing #Textlog

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 41

THE ROAD SO FAR

One step closer to the end.

FIVE Seconds

John 'Soap' MacTavish

Task Force 141 Base - Infirmary

We overcame Ultranationalists, chopper crashes, danger close with gunships but a goddamn dog is what'll get me into an infirmary? Rabies, ridiculous. What a waste of time. 

John wrote down his anger in his black journal. It housed all his thoughts ever since being recruited at the Task Force regarding mission briefings, regrets and training schedules. It was his outlet on all the things going on around the world.

He noticed that Captain Price also slept by the other bed, his eyes looked tired from staying up late, he never gave up on Volt that he tired himself out.

He winced at the pain of the bruise the rotten dog gave him. He was never really a fan of them as most dogs tend to chase him wherever he went. Yesterday was another proof. Luckily, France seemed to catch up on his body language, how he didn't want anyone to know that a dog was the reason he's in the infirmary. The way she knew it without telling her was starting to convince the Scotsman that he got himself a keeper. Someone who understands.

Speaking of which, the same gorgeous blonde girl entered the infirmary, greeting Soap with a very genuine smile of relief. 

"Hi." She smiled quietly as Price was still asleep. 

"Aye. Hello there." He greeted, his voice was low and rough as he attempted to catch the lady off guard. She may look tough wearing her 141 training uniform, but Soap knows how to make her lose her composure. 

"How's the wound?" She asked, her face was already turning red as she approached him. She looked so cute right now, Soap won't mind kissing her amidst the Captain being there along with some CCTVs.

"Getting better. Hopefully enough to join the fight. How about you?" he replied, smiling at the female soldier. The general mood of the room quickly shifted and the two of them were pretty aware about it.

"I'm fine. I'm just here to thank you for saving me back then. But you didn't have to… I deserved that bite for not being careful." She muttered.

Soap sighed. 

"Eh, you know full well that I care for you, France. For once let me be the hero." He chuckled and France laughed.

"You already know that you are my hero, dummy." She winked as she started to leave.

"I gotta go. It's my turn to clean up the comms. Wish you'd help me though, Hero." she teased as she left the room, Soap was left staring at her beautiful figure exit the room.

"You sure got yourself a tough lass there, lad." Price grumbled as he woke up, commenting on the two.

"Aye. She's definitely a keeper. I just hope I don't mess up. Because I think she's the one." Soap finally admitted, to Price of all people. The captain just chuckled.

"Yeah. My word of advice. Go with what your heart and mind says." He said with full sincerity, as if he didn't want Soap to regret everything. There was flavor in his words that made Soap wonder if such advice came from experience. Though he did hear rumors that he and Laswell had some sort of history, and he got that from France.

"Aye, Captain… Will do." Soap nodded and Price got up.

"I'm giving Volt a final visit." He grumbled and went off, leaving Soap alone in his thoughts once again.

The next day, Soap was cleared from the infirmary and was immediately tasked on the mission. Last night, Nero started his assault on the capital and thousands of rangers were struggling to keep them off the country. With Volt finally given up, he relayed information regarding one of Nero's allies.

They were going to Havana, the home base of the mind manipulation and the command center of Nero's forces. How it managed to stay hidden, nobody knows but the team was eager to find out soon. Especially that another nuke is ready for launch.

Abandoned Building, Cuba, Havana

Soap could hear France hum the song Havana quietly as she crossed her arms just before the plane started. She was nervous and Soap knew that so he tried to hold her hand in secrecy, showing him a face that assured her that everything will be alright.

In this mission, time was of the essence so stealth wasn't an option. They were headed to the base guns blazing, all in hopes to disable the second nuke launch.

The helo flew dangerously low as metal clanged on it's base as soon as enemies fired at it. It was a risky move but the squad needed to drop by the rooftops to get a clear vantage point.

Soap immediately seeked for cover by the edge of the rooftop, eyeing the door that led to the lower floors where the command center should be.

"We'll hold them off! You go!" Alex yelled as Soap, Price, Roach and France breached the door, descending to the second floor of the building. 

The place was abandoned and very open, enemies' footsteps echoed across the halls, making the team aware of their positions.

"Soap, focus on getting to the control room. We'll take care of them. France, cover his six. Roach and I will make a grand distraction." Price said, popping a grenade on the main hall and Roach assisted him, drawing all the attention towards them.

"Alex, when you're done sweeping up the yard, I need your team down here asap." Price muttered over comms.

"Roger that." he replied.

"Looks like it's you and me against the clock now." Soap managed to chuckle at their situation. France just chuckled and cleared the location so Soap could advance. This was her forte. Stealth and close quarters.

"You're good to go, John." She said as she took the stairs down. Soap cautiously followed as he heard gunshots from France's location.

"Two tangos down." She declared, clearing the staircase to the basement.

"Multiple tangos in the basement. Looks like we're in the right place." France nodded and Soap followed, pulling the pin of a grenade and tossing it to the narrow hallway.

"GRANADA!!" One yelled and an explosion followed, signaling the couple to press on the narrow hallway while they're dazed.

They shot down the enemies until more emerged from behind, trapping the two of them.

"Shite! At this rate we'll never push forward. We're pinned!" Soap called for help.

"Someone's escaping! Reinforcements are arriving!" Alex warned as the team was now overwhelmed with hostiles. Time was running out.

"John! Watch my six and I'll clear a path for you." France said and left without letting him reply. This worried Soap but he had to trust her and so he covered her six. Shooting at enemies dumb enough to dive on to the narrow hallway. He did his best to retaliate by firing back and tossing any grenades back to its source.

It felt like the longest two minutes of his life. France fought her way to the command center and him, defending the entrance while his ammo slowly ran out. Then after what seemed like forever, he heard her go signal.

Soap ran as fast as he could, and just before he lost sight of the entrance, he saw Price immediately follow him. They did it. They cleared the entrance.

He fished out his journal for the cryllic translator, decoding every letter just so he could stop the launch. They only had five seconds left. 

Soap furiously typed the code Volt gave them and pressed enter as soon as it's done. The launch didn't stop. Soap figured that they were too late, but Price's face never looked worried.

"Captain. The launch didn't stop! What are we going to do?" France said, worried.

"It's all according to plan." He muttered as he signaled his head to head back to the rooftop.

"Let's burn this place down." He added and they all ran back to the rooftops for exfil.

"Dropping the skyhook now! Latch yourselves in!" Eagle Two Four yelled as the thick rope dropped from the sky, Soap quickly latched himself in and looked behind him. France was a few meters away from the final hook as a stray bullet grazed her thigh.

"France! Hang on!" Soap quickly detached himself almost automatically, without thinking. The rest of the team were already being hoisted up when they noticed the two members still on the rooftops.

Soap's body felt the rush as he quickly carried her up and held her tight, running toward the last hook and quickly attaching himself in, all while holding her tight in his arms.

"Why didn't you call out to me? You know I'm going to save you whatever it takes." he whispered as he felt France already in tears. If it wasn't for him always checking out on her, she would've been left alone in that abandoned building.

"Is she going to be fine?" The worried Scotsman asked the nurse. His voice was almost loud enough to disturb everyone else.

"She got hit twice. One on the chest and one on the thigh. They're both minor but she just passed out from the panic and exhaustion. We found this on her chest. The thing practically saved her life." The nurse handed over his journal. Soap's eyes widened at the hole that pierced through the whole book. He must've left it when he typed the abort codes and she must've grabbed it from there.

"The bullet barely pierced through her armor thanks to that book." She said as Soap looked up and silently thanked that she was safe. He quickly flipped through the pages until he found the page where he drew her. The bullet hole on the page was where her heart was. It was funny because it was the other way around. That woman was the one that fired a bullet straight to his heart. And he wasn't a big fan of metaphors at this rate.

"So is she okay?" Roach quickly ran to Soap's side, a worried look on his face. Alex and Price were behind him.

"The journal saved her." He said, raising the pierced black book as proof.

"She's lucky enough you got her on time. I couldn't think of any other way she could be saved from there." Price commented as she looked at her through the glass.

"She's a tough lad. But sometimes she needs to understand that she isn't alone." Price added and Alex nodded. 

"She'll wake up soon." Alex tapped Soap's shoulder and he nodded, as they left the infirmary for another briefing.

On the way to the briefing room, they caught up with Ghost and Alexandra bringing an unknown man to the interrogation area, which prompted the team to follow.

Inside the interrogation room's observation area, the team sat while Price and Jack talked to the man.

"Nice to see ya, Jack. Thought Nero got rid of you." He smugly said with a wide annoying grin on his mouth.

"Who is this prick, anyway?!" Roach hissed.

"That's Gabriel Lannister. CIA's Research and Development Head." Alex said nonchalantly, Soap could see the disbelief in his eyes. There was more than just one mole in his previous department.

"He was the one in charge with the mass manipulation of the missing persons cases." Ryder added.

"While you lot launched the nuke, he went off running with four convoys of protection. Luckily we were able to intercept them by the bridge." Ghost informed.

"What about the nuke?" Soap asked, completely forgetting about it. It was his responsibility, as he typed the whole command on it.

"Blasted at Nero's fleet not too far from the White House. If you were five seconds later, the war would've ended differently." Ryder supplied the information.

"And the capital?" Roach asked.

"Mostly damaged, but it will recover. Turns out Nero did really burn the place down." Ghost answered. 

"What about Nero?" Alex asked, eyes not leaving the whole interrogation.

"No one knows where he is. We were hoping this guy would give information about him." Ryder pointed to Gabriel, who was having a fun time at the interrogation.

The tension inside the room was different. Each person had their own little realizations and this pushed them to end the war as soon as possible.

Soap immediately exited the area and went back to the infirmary.

"Hey." He was greeted by France, who was already up.

"How are you holding up?" He asked, his tone more concerned than ever.

"Well, It doesn't hurt right now but… I'm… I almost died out there, John… What if I died?" Her voice croaked and tears started falling from her eyes. John quickly approached her and hugged her gently close to his chest.

"Don't say that… What's important is you're alive… I got you and you're safe…" He whispered.

"Thank you." She croaked. John just rubbed her back assuring her everything will be alright.

"No. Thank you. You changed me, France. You made me realize a lot of things. I know that this isn't the most perfect place right now, but… Will you be my girlfriend? Because I can't help thinking about how every single day of my life since I met you, I can't stop thinking about you. Your smile, your face, the things you say, the way you hide what you really feel. I want all of those and after that last mission, I realized that I shouldn't have left you waiting. There was no better time than as soon as possible." He said, offering his notebook as replacement for flowers.

France nodded with tears in her eyes, accepting the journal with confusion.

"Turn it on the last page." Soap said as she did it, showing a sketch of her and him together happily smiling. She wore the clothes she wore when they were out together in that coffee shop.

"This is beautiful." She said, tracing a finger on the paper.

"I love you, John MacTavish." She said as she leaned in for a kiss, not letting him reply.

Next Chapter : FOUR Weeks of Silence

Notification Squad my Beloved

@smokeywhalee @enderio @samatedeansbroccoli @ricinbach @whimsywispsblog @bumblingbee1

#alex echo 3 1 #john soap mactavish #horrayfic #codmw #john price #gary roach sanderson #simon ghost riley #whateverittakes

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: 🤢🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓🔥 Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: �� honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: 😂 Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my 🕡 Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake 🐕 Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my 😳 at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Grace

Janis: What's this I hear about a bitch fight, like? Grace: ugh can you NOT please Janis: Is it true though Grace: it wasn't a fight okay I just lost my chill like Grace: moving on Janis: 💔 Janis: shame Janis: what happened then Grace: I don't wanna talk about it Janis: I mean I'd ask her but she ain't responding either Janis: very unlike Mia Grace: I didn't hit her that hard but sure Grace: she'll be watching a tutorial for like fake bruises or whatever obvs Grace: make me look worse Janis: again, gutted Janis: but seriously Janis: why'd you finally lose it with the bitch Grace: ask Pablo Janis: ? Janis: what's he got to do with it Grace: while you were getting with barista boy on the school trip they were also hooking up at some party Janis: no way Janis: what the fuck Grace: he didn't even try & deny it Grace: I literally can't with either of them Janis: Jesus Janis: kinda wish I didn't know now Janis: 🤢 Grace: UM yeah same Grace: but she just had to tell me cos I was dealing with a lot that wasn't about her Janis: well yeah Janis: sitting on that one 'til the best time Janis: cow Janis: should've hit her hard, I'd have shown you Grace: I'm not trying to get sued babes Grace: & it wasn't like I decided to hit her or anything Janis: wouldn't waste a court's time with that shite Janis: daddy not trying to get done for wasting resources really Janis: did think Pablo had better taste, tbh Janis: well, not really but you know Grace: Ew don't call him daddy Grace: I can't even be angry right Grace: I should've just kept crying like I always do Janis: Come on Janis: smacking her ones the best thing you ever did Janis: felt good, yeah? Grace: you'd have done it better Janis: still can, like Janis: have to be a decent apology for that Janis: 💰💰💰 at least Grace: if you do, vlog it & send me the footage Grace: I can't be here Grace: I literally have to leave Janis: where are you gonna go? Grace: idk Grace: I can't think rn Janis: You at home? Grace: obvs not they all think I'm mental there Grace: this isn't gonna help Janis: Hardly Janis: she deserved it Janis: how long do you need Janis: away, like Grace: if I'm freaking out now it'll be worse when she retaliates so ????? Grace: & when school starts Grace: OMG LITERALLY WHAT AM I GONNA DO? Janis: Calm down Janis: okay, you'll be fine Janis: contrary to her word being law in your circle, no one actually gives a fuck what she says Janis: anyway Janis: you said you have loads of shit on her, right? Grace: everyone needs to stop telling me to calm down Grace: you don't even understand Grace: she knows as much about me Grace: this is so bad Janis: exactly Janis: so if she's got any brains, she won't be spreading it Janis: if you don't move, she can't, yeah Grace: but I did Grace: I literally hit her Janis: you don't do things like that, you lot Janis: you didn't post anything about her or her and Pablo, did you Grace: I don't want anyone knowing that ever happened, why would I? Janis: see, wouldn't that be much worse Janis: to her Janis: how you lot operate Janis: she'll make up some story about why you hit her, if she chooses to go for that angle Janis: but she knows you've got all the real shit if she's gonna try anything else Janis: stalemate Grace: Yeah, I guess Janis: I'm sure Janis: school'll be fine Grace: UM how?? it's already rubbish & now I've got no one Janis: join the club Janis: just show up, do your lessons Janis: go town on your lunch break Janis: easy Grace: You've got your bf Grace: don't do him like that Janis: I didn't before, did I Janis: never mind just last term Grace: you didn't want one before Janis: no lad at that school, maybe Grace: I'm gonna have to get one now Grace: ugh Grace: 🙏🙏 there's some party tonight or something Janis: how's that the solution Grace: to not being alone? well duh Grace: who's single rn? 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: 🙄 honestly Grace Grace: excuse you Grace: I'm trying to be pro-active here Janis: you've lost your friend not girlfriend Janis: that's what you should be aiming for Grace: she was my friend for like 10 years, most of my relationships don't last 10 days Grace: I obvs can't just find a new bestie Janis: you can try Janis: that's what you want Janis: what boyfriend has ever been good company Grace: yeah cos she was so good for me Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: not the kind of good I meant Janis: a lad ain't gonna chat about reality telly with you and reapply lippy in the loos Grace: a gay one maybe Janis: if you want a gay bff you go for it Janis: bit problematic but sure we can let it slide Grace: all I actually need is someone whose arm I can be on in the halls & whatever Grace: boys are easy to get Grace: easier than friends anyway Janis: alright Janis: if you say so Grace: duh then I can say I dumped my friends for my man Janis: well they are your friends Janis: so they'll know you haven't Grace: no-one else will tho Janis: I'm not sure anyone else will be too concerned Grace: rude Janis: why? Janis: it's the truth Janis: not like the entire school is on the edge of their seat every time you two fall out Grace: obvs they are too busy watching you & your boy Grace: that doesn't make me utterly irrelevant thank you Janis: why are you getting offended Janis: it's not a performance Janis: just do what you want Grace: Oh sure Grace: I told you idk how to be different Janis: it's a good chance Janis: you've got a couple of days Janis: don't be rash, like Grace: I'm so not ready to just like overhaul my life excuse me Janis: it's shit, right Janis: what do you actually have to lose Grace: I told you on that school trip, if I try & I'm still the worst, what then? Janis: go back to faking it with vigor Janis: no one will know, like Grace: I will Grace: & you since it's your suggestion Janis: who am I telling Janis: not even a good secret Grace: ugh Grace: I'm freaking out, I can't commit to anything if it's not a detox, babes Grace: & even then Janis: boyfriend probably ain't the one then Janis: it's what Janis: 7 weeks if you wanna survive the first term Janis: maybe more? Grace: OMG don't Janis: Hell that's only half term, even Janis: then that'll end and it's more drama Janis: don't need that Grace: that's like 7 boys I need to find Janis: you can't just line 'em all up Grace: tragically Janis: could always transfer Grace: do you think mum and dad will let me? Janis: I wasn't being serious but they probably would Janis: just say Mias shoved your head down the bog Grace: EW Grace: did work for Nancy though so Grace: devastated I can't go to Chelsea Janis: mm did it Janis: she did try to fuck her special ed teacher Grace: Oh yeah Grace: & she wasn't even cute Grace: awks Janis: 🙄 Janis: and her twin has ended up inbreeding so don't reckon much to his fine education tbh Grace: Maybe I should hook up with Mia's dad Janis: don't be grim Grace: He's not hot but he is rich Janis: only relevant if you marry him Janis: and her mum is still very much alive and you'd have to last a while to be written in Janis: if ever Grace: I probably look too young for him to be 😍😍😍 anyway Grace: I'll hit him up post surgery if I'm still bitter Janis: you know people have surgery to look younger Janis: what kind of surgeon you found that's gonna make you a grandma Grace: 😂😂 Janis: I mean you will anyway Janis: your desired aesthetic ends up looking Donatella Versace when the filler starts to drop out Grace: gross Janis: He'll defs have a secretary he's banging, they always do Janis: just send a confession to her house and watch the fireworks, like Grace: that's a secret I already know, babes Grace: Mia caught him forever ago Janis: awh Janis: she does have a 💘 Grace: she has an even bigger allowance cos of too Janis: 'course Janis: got that to look forward to, Venus Janis: pretend to be her and tell then, even more trouble Grace: Do you want me to change or not? Janis: no one said you need to be a nun about it Janis: and if you ain't up for round 2 Grace: Yeah okay Janis: Seriously Janis: you don't need to worry Grace: it's fine for you, you don't care what anyone says or thinks or does Janis: yeah Janis: well she's a cunt Janis: why let her get to you Grace: it's not like I want her to Grace: she just does Janis: had 10 years to perfect it, I guess Grace: mhmmm Janis: don't mean you need another 10 Janis: fake that it doesn't get to you, like you said Grace: idk if I even can but sure Janis: why not Janis: you fake everything else, right Grace: & everyone's seeing through it rn Janis: doesn't have to be a bad thing Grace: Pablo called me mental & he got with Mia Janis: Pablo calls everyone and everything mental Janis: his vocab is lacking along with his brain, like Grace: 😂 Janis: doubt he was aiming for a soul-reaching read Janis: just a moody twat, yeah Grace: it's so okay for boys to have moods like it just makes them look hotter if anything but if a girl our age does anything she's mental Grace: is anyone in this fam calling him out for sleeping with girls at parties he says he doesn't know, no just me getting slutshamed Janis: that's misogyny, kid Janis: and I'm sure we're all very disappointed with him for it, like Janis: but as you said, everyone's seeing through you rn so Grace: my feet hurt I can't even run away Grace: I'm putting my coffee cup on the ground & giving up Grace: throw some euros in it if you come this way Janis: if you come here you can earn 'em and think about something else for a bit Grace: ?? Janis: we wanna go out Janis: the kid already knows you so come watch him for a few hours, yeah Janis: better hiding place than wherever you've got to Grace: before I say yeah, is his sister there too? Janis: I can assure you she'll be out as soon as she gets the chance Grace: Okay Janis: she's like Gus' age Janis: she can take care of herself Grace: as long as that's the only way she's like Gus Janis: 😏 Janis: bit rude but yeah Grace: oh come on, he's a lot Janis: 😂 and you're not Grace: that's why I can say it duh Janis: so is that a yeah or what Grace: I'm omw Janis: good stuff Grace: I need to fix my makeup first so Janis: so you'll be five hours Janis: come on Grace: Shut up Grace: I can't do it in a moving car, I'll look worse than I do now Janis: as long as you aren't rocking a 🤡 look I don't think the kid will mind Grace: you and the love of your life will still have to let me in Grace: what are you wearing? am I gonna have to be fake nice about it Janis: it's cool, he doesn't think you're nice, like Janis: told him what a bitch you are, obvs Grace: thanks babes Janis: any time 🖤 Grace: 💜 Janis: anyway, you'd be here for it Grace: Yeah? Janis: it's stupid Janis: had to dress up 'cos not fully sure where we're going so Grace: that's soooo cute Janis: alright Janis: that's enough Grace: I didn't even start Grace: so mean Janis: I know Grace: Do you want me to do your makeup? Janis: I don't think we'll have time Janis: takes an age don't it Grace: for me cos I have problem areas Grace: it wouldn't take like any time to do yours Janis: okay go on Janis: but we can't make him wait forever so it really does have to be speedy Grace: OMG really?? Grace: I promise, like 10 mins Janis: 👌 Janis: why not Grace: yay Janis: love the enthusiasm, babe Grace: Babes, if you could see me rn Grace: 🙌💜🙌 Grace: but if I get too excited I'll never get there Janis: I know it's shit Janis: but she's been shit for a long time Grace: & I know that Janis: yeah Janis: well Bobby will be happy to see you Grace: duh it's totally mutual Grace: he's a babe Janis: shame you can't take him to school 💕 Grace: he isn't a 🐶 I can't just put him in my 👜 hun Janis: think this one is too big for that and all Janis: 'less you're going really hard Grace: OMG has he got a big scary dog! 😱😱 Grace: one of my exes had one that was like Grace: so evil Janis: no Janis: it's just not a rat dog Janis: and it's nice just a bit excitable, only a puppy, like Grace: 🙏🙏 Grace: thank god Janis: just walked it so it should be chill-ish Janis: [sends pic 'cos god knows I have enough] Grace: ask him if I can steal it for school 😍 Janis: 😏 probably say yes Grace: that's so happening then Janis: you so don't need these bad influences in your life Janis: do you reckon mum used to put Ri in her school bag Grace: obvs have her strapped to the front & all her books in a backpack Grace: if I had a baby I could get away with leaving school though, I'll think about it Janis: behave Grace: I need to find the hottest boy ever first Grace: so it'd be cute Janis: shut up Janis: anyway Janis: don't always work Janis: look at Drew and Ro's kid Janis: weird looking thing, they're both attractive enough Grace: is she though? Janis: thought you'd tell me off for being mean Janis: she could be, if she wasn't dying, like Grace: never seen her when she wasn't so it's too hard to tell Janis: 💔 Janis: must be Mia's GP Janis: doling out the advice Grace: I'll book myself in ASAP Janis: like you said Janis: not a look, is it Grace: neither's this Grace: whatever I don't have the commitment Grace: stopped making myself throw up forever ago Janis: did you? Grace: it's like really hard to do Grace: someone should PSA that Janis: along with all the reasons not to, yeah Janis: reckon there's been a couple of films and docs on it Grace: it has its upsides too obvs, how I get any lads to date me Janis: you can shut up now Janis: didn't need to hear about Pablo jumping Mia's bones Janis: don't need to hear about you Grace: you just wanna hear about my bulimic past instead Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: um I didn't ask you about that either Grace: you literally just did Grace: but fine Janis: what did you want me to say Grace: whatever I don't need an intervention for that so Janis: alright Grace: where's his dad? He's not gonna like come back & freak out that I'm watching his kid, like who am I, is he? Janis: nah he's on a date of his own Janis: if he came back early, just give me a call, like Grace: Gross Grace: 👌👌 Janis: he is Grace: I bet he's hot though, son like that Janis: old men are so not your thing Janis: don't need to go down that route, tah Janis: and he's not Janis: like he could've been but he's well past it Grace: tragic Grace: I wonder if his mum is pretty Grace: they could've been like couple goals forever ago Janis: long as you keep your speculating to yourself Grace: obvs I'm not that stupid Grace: or mean Janis: just saying Janis: it is really messed up Janis: wonder where she is Grace: did he tell you anything? Janis: they don't know anything Grace: Oh Grace: poor Bobby Janis: I know Janis: still Janis: Jim looks after him really well Grace: yeah he talked about him like non-stop at the fair Grace: it's nice that they have each other Janis: it is Janis: hard for him sometimes though Grace: obvs he can't just do whatever he wants Grace: unless I'm babysitting Janis: and with his job Janis: we're spoilt brats, like Grace: maybe I'll get one Grace: keep me busy Janis: I'd like one Janis: but I'd definitely throw coffee over people like you so Janis: gotta think Grace: rude but v true Grace: there's like lots of stuff at the sports centre you could do Janis: 😏 Janis: yeah maybe Janis: not the worst idea Grace: I'm mostly fake stupid Janis: leave that off the job applications Grace: idk what I'd even apply for anyway so Janis: you could do anything retail Grace: they want girls who look good in the clothes Janis: you do, you daft cow Grace: on like 1 day out of 7 Grace: I can't maintain that much gym time Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, you could be a teasgirl in a salon or something Grace: maybe but lots of girls wanna do that Janis: yeah but every job gets more applicants than it needs Janis: worth a shot, if you wanna Grace: sure Janis: work on your resume later though, yeah Janis: on the clock here Grace: I'll make dad do it Janis: hasn't he got catering to be planning Grace: okay fine mum then Janis: surely she has a lovely big 👒 to buy Grace: yeah but we'll fit it around the shopping trips duh Janis: 🙄 Janis: gross Grace: you don't have to come, babes Janis: made it pretty clear I won't be Grace: yeah Janis: you know anyone who'd want some meth, like Grace: that's not funny thank you Janis: it ain't Janis: made a right dent in my back pocket, like Grace: so you better start job hunting Janis: I'll find a buyer Grace: Janis Janis: what Grace: you can't sell drugs Janis: not gonna make it my career Grace: just throw it away Grace: it's freaking me out that you even still have it Janis: not gonna waste it Janis: it's fine Grace: OMG how is it fine??! Grace: you could get murdered Janis: not for this much Janis: didn't go that crazy Grace: people get killed for their phones Janis: alright after school special Janis: worry 'bout yourself then, never off yours, you'd be fucked Grace: excuse me for not wanting you dead Grace: & I dropped mine so it is Janis: unlucky Janis: excuse to say you've lost all their numbers though Grace: that was obvs my plan not just a clumsy bitch 🙄🙄 Janis: 👌 Janis: less believeable than you getting a boy to stick for 7 weeks but we'll roll with it Grace: UM rude Grace: it's 7 boys, lasting a week Janis: 😏 7 dickheads for the price of 1, whatever Grace: even I can keep a boy for a week Janis: the real questions Grace: it's not a q, I can Janis: LOL Grace: stop being a bitch & let me in Janis: finally Grace: ILY too babes Janis: yeah yeah Grace: & you're so welcome 💜 Janis: shut up I'm coming as fast as I can alright Grace: it's literally raining btw Janis: let's hope dickhead ain't planned a picnic Grace: 😂😂 Grace: 💔

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: Hey Nancy: Do you want me to come down and stay with you, it can't be much fun just having Buster for company, like Rio: That's okay, I can't have you playing truant too Rio: I'm going to make him go back before long, swear Nancy: Ri, please. You know what school is like for me, any excuse, I swear Rio: Your 'rents would have me like forreal Rio: I know how shit it is, even more now, soz Nancy: Do you hear them shouting down the phone to him? No 'cause they aren't Nancy: Not to be that bitch, 'cause it's so not funny, but you have kind of taken the heat off me so Nancy: I owe you Rio: Priorities, like, though I dread to think what happens when your Mum gets to me on her list Rio: Reckon I can claim that as any kind of excuse/reasoning or? Nancy: Don't worry nobody exists to her right now but my Auntie Nancy: Which is a sentence I never thought I'd say Rio: I know, but that's good, I mean Rio: as good as anything can be Rio: You know I never meant to do this to her, right Nance? Nancy: Of course Nancy: I think I understand better than most, right? Rio: What do you mean, like? Nancy: You and him Nancy: You didn't mean to, like I didn't, but it happened 'cause it had to, you know? Nancy: You can't help how you feel, even if you want to Nancy: Especially when you want to, like Rio: Oh, no no Rio: It really isn't like that Rio: like, I hear what you're saying on all that but that's not what that was Nancy: You and him aren't Nancy: I don't know how to word it now Nancy: But he looks at you like Nancy: And you're always tilting your phone away for someone Rio: Not him Rio: I wouldn't lie, I'm not saving myself from anything at this point, if that was going on I'd tell you Rio: He wanted it to and, yeah, I knew that before this baby shower but I didn't lead him on or encourage him Nancy: Okay, well now I feel weird Nancy: Fuck, I'm sorry Nancy: I really projected there Rio: It's okay Rio: It'll be the general consensus and almost certainly how he'll frame it but no Nancy: It's not okay Nancy: He did that and I've been talking to you this way Nancy: Wow Rio: I mean, I don't think I did Rio: I thought he was good looking, sure and I tried harder with him than most of us did but Rio: I didn't actually want anything to happen, nor think it would Nancy: I'm as bad as him so there's nothing I can say Nancy: But I still think you'd know if you did or didn't Nancy: And if you didn't want anything to happen, the signals are there, even if you are that committed to only seeing what you wanna see Nancy: He can ignore them but like, you still gave them out Rio: Don't say that, you aren't like him at all Rio: You'd never do or say half the things he did Rio: especially when he had so much reason to know I wasn't interested, you're right Nancy: I mean, I did kiss someone who didn't want me to Rio: It is different, just by nature of what it is, was Rio: Should you have done it? 'Course not but there was never reason or chance for Sian to give out the clear no I did Rio: Because, well, you know Nancy: Yeah Nancy: If I thought for a second that she didn't want me to, I wouldn't Nancy: He clearly didn't have the same qualms about it Nancy: That's so disgusting Nancy: On levels that I can't even Rio: I know she won't be ready to hear it Rio: probably not ever from me Rio: but Ro is better off without him Rio: he's still dealing, which I think we all knew Rio: and I've seen him out, he isn't her Prince Charming, like Nancy: Me and mum have been saying it for as long as they've been together Nancy: As much as she'll talk about any of it to me Nancy: I've overheard more than she's probably ever said but Nancy: I feel like I can't tell her either 'cause it's like oh the man hating lesbian at it again Nancy: But he's just Rio: He really is Rio: and he isn't a good Dad Rio: maybe he'll be better for this one but, he isn't to Edie and Indie barely thinks of him that way either so Nancy: Poor Astrid Nancy: Maybe we can move Ro in with us now? I don't know Nancy: Like it's at a point that I'd move into Indie's room at hers if she'd let me Rio: I'm glad she's got you all around, she's going to need the help Rio: My Ma and all of them will be there too Nancy: Let's be honest, she would of even if he hadn't done this Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: I'm never having kids ever Rio: Yeah Rio: I was joking that that shower was effective contraception before but now Rio: fucking hell Nancy: It's made me not wanna have sex again and I can't even get pregnant so Nancy: Good lord Rio: Think that's the first time I've legitimately laughed since Rio: Oh babe Nancy: Rio? Rio: Yeah? Nancy: Where are you gonna be? 'Cause you said your family will all be there but Rio: I don't know, honestly Rio: but my job at the angel is coming to an end and then with all this Rio: I might try somewhere else, just for a bit Nancy: It worked for me Nancy: I'll miss you though Rio: I'll miss you too Rio: You're gonna be going soon too though, yeah? And June and Buster Rio: I don't want to be the only one left behind just 'cos I don't have the brains, like Nancy: We'd never leave you behind Nancy: You can go in my place if you want, change the major to maths or something Nancy: I don't want to Rio: You've got to Rio: You're just scared, but it'll be incredible, and the right thing for you, most importantly Nancy: I'm really, properly scared whenever I think about it Nancy: What if it's worse than here 'cause I'm alone on top of everything else Nancy: I can't just change schools like I did before Rio: You can, like, that first year Rio: but you're not going to want to, it'll be nothing like School Nancy: Everything's changing so much, like you said Nancy: I'll even miss Buster, and what the fuck is that, like? Rio: He'll be wanting to visit all the time Rio: Me too, like Nancy: I need to see where I can get accepted first, slow down you two Rio: You so will though Rio: World's your oyster Nancy: Yours too Nancy: And we still have Milan, yeah? Rio: Romantic 😉 Rio: but yeah, I've not drank away my funds or anything drastic yet Nancy: I was gonna say I love you, but I'll keep it to myself now, fine 😏 Rio: New drama alert Rio: they'll not survive Nancy: Don't Nancy: I can't handle any more Nancy: It hurts so much, doesn't it? Rio: It does Rio: got to believe that was rock bottom though Rio: can't get any worse, only way is up, all that shite Nancy: God, I hope so Nancy: Give us a break Rio: Backatcha Rio: No more scandals from either of us, right? Nancy: It's my brother's fucking turn Nancy: While I'm on the subject, can I ask you something? Rio: Sure Nancy: Why pick him for a getaway driver? Of all of us Nancy: I know what he said but Nancy: I'm not saying it's the weirdest part of this, but I'm also not saying it isn't Rio: Gays can't drive, right? Nancy: I'm a walking stereotype, alright, emphasis on the walking Rio: 😂 Rio: Exactly Nancy: Tell him not to spend every euro on himself, yeah? Nancy: Nobody needs to eat out every night in a new look Rio: I did drag him to Skerries, no doubt the response but I'll let him know Nancy: He loves it don't let him deny it Nancy: Even if he did nearly drown 🙄 Rio: Another touchy subject Nancy: When his ego is involved, if you aren't stroking it you're asking for trouble Nancy: Boys ugh Rio: Don't need to tell me, babe Nancy: I won't bother telling you that girls are far superior Nancy: What do I know? Rio: Is it? 😏 Nancy: Can you please come back soon so I don't have to drink alone Nancy: I need my wingwoman back Rio: 'Course Rio: London is on my list of maybes so might even meet you there, like Nancy: Yeah? Nancy: If you run into Chlo, you know what to do Rio: Absolutely Rio: Doubt I'm affording her postcode but I'll drop by with the 👊 Nancy: You doesn't even have that much money, she just acts like it Rio: If I can take any life lessons from the bitch, like Nancy: As long as you stop there and don't take fashion tips too Nancy: I still have to be seen with you in Milan, like Rio: 😂 Where's the lie Rio: she was stalking me a while back, bizarrely so I was petty and did some myself and yikes Nancy: I try not to be that bitch but I HATE her so much Nancy: Oh? How and why? Rio: Understandable Rio: I reckon she keeps tabs on us all, she's like weirdly obsessed with you and your Brother Rio: idk, she double-tapped by mistake, amusing Nancy: Gross Nancy: But I was the one who fancied her, okay babe sure Nancy: I bet she tries to look up all of Buster's conquests still, good luck with that Nancy: I'm invested and even I gave up years ago Rio: Honestly Rio: ain't in a mood to be talking about ladies who doth protest too much but well Rio: look what you made me do Chloe Nancy: Her and Drew should start a club and get jackets Rio: She'd love that Rio: get rid of 'em both in one, bit hopeful perhaps but worth a shot Nancy: I try never to feel any sympathy for my brother ever, but she really drove me there Rio: It was fucked Nancy: It's messed his head up Nancy: I can see how sad he is Rio: I know Rio: but he'll be alright Rio: we all will Nancy: Yeah Rio: I promise Rio: hit me with a more enthusiastic yeah thanks Nancy: yeah!! Nancy: I miss you already Rio: You're cute Nancy: Try and control yourself though Nancy: No drama, remember? Rio: 😂 Rio: It ain't gotta be drama baby Nancy: Are you gonna divorce yourself from our bloodline so we aren't cousins? Nancy: Quite drastic but I like it Rio: That's just the kind of dedication you can expect from me Rio: What can I say? Nancy: No other girl has ever gone that hard for me Nancy: So thanks Rio: Should hope not Rio: 👀 up the sibs now Nancy: 😂 Nancy: On the dedication scale in general, babe Rio: Whatever you say, McKenna Nancy: What I should say is that I have so much homework to do Nancy: Which I gotta since you won't let me skip 😒 Rio: Unlucky babe Nancy: As you're also insisting I'm uni bound I better stop complaining and just do it Nancy: So high maintenance you are 😏 Rio: Obviously Rio: always about that sugar Nancy: Don't be a stranger, like Nancy: And don't start preferring the other twin, yeah?

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I've just hit Pygmalion Buster: Get here Rio: Awh, I love it there Rio: but I ain't out or near ready, Inds just put on sound of music, literally 😂 Buster: Good jokes, babe Buster: Come on, there's a corner with your name on and lines I can use to spell out anything you want Rio: [Snaps] Rio: Don't be so tempting, like 😩 Buster: Says you Buster: You know you'd still get in with no wait Rio: I can't ditch on her when I just got back Rio: esp. when we're good again Buster: Bring her then Rio: You know I can't be around you and not be with you rn Rio: 💀 even harder Buster: We can get lost in these crowds Buster: It's why I chose here Rio: You make it sound too damn easy to be bad Buster: 'Cause you make me feel good like it's effortless Rio: ugh babe Rio: lemme see who we can hit up to come keep her company Buster: Make it happen, yeah? Buster: Come fuck me in this club Rio: You know I can't say no to you Buster: I know you want it as bad as I do Rio: Didn't say I WANTED to say no Buster: Tell me yes then Rio: Earn it Buster: [sends selfie of him serving a lewk i'll never be able to find. That body tho] Rio: Damn Rio: yeah okay, I need to get there before someone else does Buster: Already had some offers, like Rio: Shut up Buster: Shut me up Rio: 😡 Rio: Not coming to fight but I will 👊 Buster: That's hot Rio: You gonna find out Buster: Save some of that for me though you know I like it when we play rough, babe Rio: Oh believe, it's ALL for you, babe 😒 Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Teach you to make me jealous Buster: If I was trying to make you jealous I'd be more creative, believe me Rio: If that's how you wanna play, fine Buster: Don't be mad at me, babe Buster: Gotta do something while I'm waiting on you Rio: Why get mad when I can get even Buster: What do you think you're gonna try and do? Rio: Something 'til I'm ready to come find you Buster: You're not gonna tell me, like? Rio: Don't worry 'bout it, babe Buster: I need to know who I'm fighting Rio: Save it 😉 Buster: No Rio: What I thought Rio: Oh boy, you so easy Buster: Fuck off Rio: You know you don't want that Buster: I don't want you with some other cunt in this club either Rio: As if Rio: anyway, don't be a quitter, don't let it happen Buster: It won't happen Rio: Not why I'm coming out is it Buster: 'Cause you ain't no quitter either, I know Rio: Nowhere near done with you yet Buster: Good Buster: I want you everywhere tonight Buster: Let everyone see us, I don't care Rio: It's so packed in there no one will notice Rio: you could have be on the floor legit Buster: There ain't a place you could walk in where everyone isn't gonna notice you Buster: But I'm still gonna fuck you right there Buster: I saw you first Rio: Okay coming through with that good chat, can tell you've been practising now 😜 Rio: Bit of an unfair advantage but not gonna act like I'm mad about it Buster: Shut up Buster: You know other girls aren't trying to talk to me Rio: Awh baby Rio: So much more than your body, how rude Buster: Nah Buster: Not got the personality 😂 Rio: Hush Rio: all for me, I'll get you feeling so good Buster: I know it Rio: House full of lairy teens Rio: you gon' have to distract me good for how well I've distracted Inds 😑 Buster: You've more than earned anything you want Rio: Anything? 😇 Buster: All of it, babe Rio: Can finish what we started in that London club Buster: Ready when you are Rio: Gimme a sec Rio: can't actually come in my sweats Buster: You know you could Rio: I wanna look hot for you Buster: As long as you get hot for me, come as you are Rio: Be worth it Rio: Promise Buster: Trusting you to prove that to me Rio: Haven't I always come through for you? Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm thinking about how often right now Rio: That's just the start Buster: It better be Buster: Not done with you yet either Rio: Good Rio: How long are you in Dubo for? Buster: Open ended Buster: So that depends on how good you are at convincing me to stay Rio: Yay 😋 Rio: we get to play for longer then, 'cos easy Buster: At least until Nance tells me to fuck off Rio: Maybe if you try being nice, like Buster: Fuck off I'm nice Buster: She likes her privacy more than me that ain't my fault Rio: Okay, orrrr she's waiting for you to make the first move, as it were Buster: Nah Rio: Whatevs, not my business Buster: What you mean is, tonight you ain't trying to make it your business cos you've got more important other business with me Rio: 😒 Don't push it, boy Rio: just trying to make it so you can stay, obviously Buster: Yeah well I'm not here to spend time with her so don't worry about it Buster: You reckoned you had your part easy a second ago, anyway, trying to make it more of a challenge now or what? Rio: Wouldn't kill either of you to commit a day though Rio: Trying to make life easier for everyone, fool Buster: Not mine obviously and like you said, not your business Buster: Stay out of it, like Rio: Whatever Rio: No need to be mad about it Buster: No need for you to tell me what to do but you're still trying it, yeah? Rio: I ain't Rio: Telling you what you should but no one's out here making you Buster: Well don't Rio: Okay, Christ Buster: Leave the attitude out as well Rio: Fuck off 😂 Rio: I'm allowed an opinion and I'll say it however I wanna Buster: It ain't Buster: it's a judgment Buster: And if I don't wanna hear it I don't have to Rio: That's how you're reading it Rio: I ain't judged either of you Buster: That's how you're backtracking now Buster: Calling me out for my lack of effort like you know anything about how it is Rio: How is it then? Rio: Good, yeah? Buster: Fuck you Rio: Yeah Rio: Calm down, get a drink Buster: Stop telling me what to do Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Alright, then go be mad somewhere else, like, 'cos I don't wanna see it Rio: What do you want me to do? Buster: Yeah 'cause you're all about things being easy Buster: Whatever, Rio Rio: 'Scuse me for not wanting to be a martyr about shit Buster: Excuse yourself Rio: Not me who needs a moment, boy Buster: It's your fault though Rio: If you like Rio: Whatever works Buster: You're just dismissing me now then Rio: I'm not going to apologise for something I ain't done, Buster Rio: I'm sorry you're mad but I only had good intentions and you know it Buster: Just me, yeah? Buster: Can we just start over Rio: I'm not asking or telling you to say sorry for anything Rio: Sure Buster: But I'm sorry Buster: I didn't mean to talk to you like that Buster: I shouldn't Rio: Yeah Rio: Forget about it Buster: No Buster: It wrecks my head being here sometimes Buster: It isn't your fault though Rio: I know Rio: It's alright, honest Buster: It's really not but I'll make it alright again if you still come out Rio: Was going to anyway Rio: No telling this lot the party's off Rio: but good to know I've not gotta swerve you Buster: Please don't Buster: I need you with me Rio: I will be Rio: On my way Rio: Now we've established who can afford the uber and who's gotta get on the dart, like 🙄 Rio: fucking kids Buster: Rio Rio: Mm? Buster: Cheers, like Buster: For giving a shit about all that bullshit Rio: 'Course Rio: it's not just bullshit but it ain't for tonight, yeah Buster: I'll save it for when we stay in to watch old films about nuns and nazis, yeah? Buster: Gotcha Rio: 😂 Only if you know all the words too Rio: we're exclusive like that Buster: I'm here to provide distractions from that shite not join in 😂 Rio: It's a classic don't be a heathen Buster: Wouldn't know Buster: Nance isn't the kind of gay that loves musicals and who else is gonna force me? Rio: OH MY GOD Rio: it's on EVERY xmas what you doing Buster: opening expensive shit, eating expensive food and drinking expensive spirits Buster: Got a playlist for it, like Rio: Madness Rio: but whatever gets you feeling festive, lads Rio: is it all choral shit tho, 'cos I draw the line Buster: Nah Buster: I'd have drawn my own line years back if it were Rio: 🙌🙏 Rio: Thank God Rio: what's xmas without cheesy tunes and a fuck-off 🧀 platter Buster: You planning to be waiting under the tree to get unwrapped, like? Buster: Very invested in my plans, babe Rio: Ha, stupid Rio: as much as that'd make your xmas the best yet, just making convo so I don't have to with Indie's mates Rio: doubt they've seen sound of music either, where would I even start? Buster: 😂 Buster: Google stoner films and you'll be well away Rio: ask 'em how their killscore is on fucking, fornite Rio: down with the kids, 'tis true, lads Buster: Fucking hell Buster: Were we that bad? Rio: You know you were, boy Rio: I've always been 🔥 tho 💅😏 Buster: Shut up Buster: You loved me Rio: 😂 even if i did, no competiting with how much you loved yourself, babe Rio: not even talking about chronic ���🍆 here Buster: You reckon? You were 😍 for me before and after our disaster 💋 like Buster: You had to have it bad Rio: Hush ya face 🙄 Rio: Who can keep up with their crushes at that age Rio: if it weren't you 💔 it was justin bieber, like Buster: 😂 Buster: Least there's no competition there, I've aged well better Rio: Take that victory, babe 😉 Buster: First of many for tonight, you'll see Rio: You planning on letting me win too or what? Buster: 'Course Buster: I have to make it up to you for how much of a cunt I was earlier Rio: Yeah Rio: Not going to disagree or turn that down Buster: Not gonna let you Rio: 🤤 Buster: Tell me what to do and I swear I won't get mad this time Rio: Yeah? Buster: Promise Rio: Quite the offer, babe Rio: Gonna have to think, make the most of it Buster: You're welcome for another distraction from being babysitter Rio: So giving Rio: See just how much you're willing to give me when I get there Buster: I want you to take it all, babe Rio: I will, but only when I have you begging me to Buster: I've missed you Rio: I've missed you too Buster: Does Indie know I'm here? Rio: I just said I'd heard a good night was going down Rio: can make yourself as visible or invisible as you wanna Buster: Alright Rio: though no doubt she'll sniff you out 😒😂 Buster: Not if I have anything to do with it Buster: It's all about you tonight Rio: Promise? Buster: I swear Buster: Nothing I won't do for you as long as you tell me Rio: Fuck Rio: Why are you so good? Buster: Gotta need up, don't I Rio: Got you tonguetied, baby? 😚 Rio: so fucking cute Buster: That and I'll go blind if you don't get here soon Buster: So turned on since Spain Rio: Me too Rio: how does it feel like a million years ago already Buster: 'Cause nobody can do what you can Rio: Damn right Rio: and I ain't going to let you forget that Buster: I can't Buster: You're all I think about Rio: I feel it too Buster: Stay with me tonight Buster: We'll make sure Indie is alright Rio: How? Rio: Nance will be there, right? Buster: I don't care Buster: It's a big enough house and she stays out of my way after a night out Buster: Not the first girl I've invited back, like Rio: What if she clocks it's me? Buster: You don't trust yourself to do better than that? Rio: It's such a risk but Rio: I want to Buster: I want you all night Rio: Can we? Buster: Yeah Rio: Okay Rio: think how you're gonna keep me quiet whilst still making me cum like you do Buster: Maybe I'll wear you out on the dance floor, babe, haven't fucked a girl on one yet Rio: 'Cos who else would? Rio: I can't help it, I want you so much Buster: I'd do anything for you Rio: I dunno how this actually happened but Rio: so glad it did Buster: me too Rio: I don't care if it's wrong Buster: It's not but it wouldn't stop me if it was Rio: Nah? Buster: No Buster: I can't help it either Buster: Not like I haven't tried to want other people more than you but Rio: Sorry Rio: You're just so gorgeous Buster: You're the hottest girl I've ever seen Buster: And that was before I'd even touched you, like Rio: Starting to think I wasn't your type, like Buster: What's my type then? Rio: Skinny white girls, usually, right? Buster: I know you don't go to my school but you've been to my postcode Buster: That's everyone's type here Rio: Right 😂 I get that its slim pickings but broaden your horizons baby boy Buster: Why? Wasn't gonna find you, was I Rio: Stop being so smooth, fuck Buster: You don't really want me to Buster: And like I said, it's all about what you want tonight Rio: Nah Rio: just throws me when you're sweet still Buster: Not sorry Buster: I like surprising you, don't you know that by now? Rio: Learning Buster: Good Rio: Can even be smug about teaching me Rio: 'cos you know I've got just as much to show you Buster: Fuck Rio: Glad you got kissing down since we last did it though 😉 Buster: How fucking embarrassing if you had to teach me that Rio: 😂 Rio: like we got all night baby but even with my talent Rio: pushing it Buster: And now you can save those talents for better things thank Christ Rio: Be thanking him and the rest when I put my lips where you really want 'em Buster: promises, promises, babe Buster: Where are you? Rio: 5 minutes away Rio: we HAD to pick someone else up, doubling this fucking fare, thanks a lot kids Rio: on my card y'all best be paying me back before I let you out my sight Buster: I'll get the drinks in then, sounds like you need more than one Rio: Please Rio: not what I need most but it's a good start Buster: I know what you're really thirsty for, don't worry Rio: thanks for not getting bored and leaving Buster: With all the promises you've made me? I'm not that stupid Rio: Have proved I'm not all talk but still Buster: I've waited longer for you Buster: Not saying I'm hanging on for years again, don't push it, but Rio: 😂 line ain't that long Rio: especially not with how i'm looking Buster: How do you look? Rio: No spoilers Rio: I want to see your reaction when I walk in Buster: I better make sure none of the lot you're with sees me then Rio: Don't worry, a load of straight skater bois are not gonna be eyeing you Buster: Better not, lover not a fighter right now, sorry lads Rio: Honestly Rio: hands off Rio: had enough of y'all for the evening and you're mine Buster: I fucking love it when you say that Rio: Good Rio: because you are Rio: not in a sharing mood Buster: Good 'cause I'm been turning down girls since I got here so a bit late to change your mind, like Rio: Not going to Rio: All for me all night, yeah? Buster: I gave you my word Rio: You know what you do to me when you're all noble and gentlemanly like that Buster: Only 'cause I know what it'll do to me when you walk in Buster: I need you to want me as bad Rio: Let's just say, there's no hiding how much I need you already in this 'fit Rio: Didn't think it through, don't care Buster: Fuck Buster: This is the longest 5 minutes of my life Rio: I know but then we've got all night Buster: If it's any consolation, right now I'm at the bar barely able to order us drinks Buster: It's not gonna help if I try and explain there's no blood going to my brain, like Rio: Defs seen it all before, like but don't be looking Rio: my daddy Rio: idc how early we have to make this a private party anyway, i'm not here to get drunk Buster: Exactly Buster: I'm stocked at home later if you want it Rio: Get our cheers' in now and we'll be all good Rio: gotta be so 🤫 like Buster: I can't wait to see you try Rio: I can't wait 'til you have to make me Buster: Jesus Buster: Never get tired of me, yeah? Rio: Keep being as good as you are and that ain't ever gonna happen Buster: Easy Rio: I'm inside Rio: fuck it's packed, I can't see a damn thing Buster: I can see you so you better find me

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: ⚰ knock knock Ali: do i need to get the ouija out Carly: yea Carly: tho bit late to ghost the lad in my bed Carly: idk who he is Ali: 🤠 put on a disguise Ali: like whomst Ali: beats having to leave your own gaff Ali: tho it is a crime scene Carly: got love bites from my arse to my elbow Carly: is he a vamp or what like Carly: i taste good i kno Carly: [sends photographic evidence] Ali: bitch Ali: are you anaemic?! Ali: leech sounds more like it but is he sparkly with good hair Carly: bitch its too early for words i cant spell wtf Carly: he is sparkling but thats my shine ha Carly: the hair is a no Ali: low on iron, probs, i'll get you some iron tablets Ali: taste like blood, don't tell your bedmate, he won't wanna leave Ali: party's over n sharing ain't caring Ali: someone's feeling herself this morning Ali: here for it Ali: I've already been left so that's a no to me Carly: party only ended when i passed out a few hours ago Carly: so yea Carly: was fun Carly: baby no come over Ali: was whilst it lasted for me too but you know Ali: duty calls Ali: you sure Ali: don't wanna break it up if you're good to go again Carly: yea Carly: not scared to go hard on site cuz garda are to come around Carly: i am but hes snoring Carly: & boring Carly: come Ali: perks Ali: check he's not bumped his head Ali: they'd have to come if a normie went missing Carly: nah he has to go before he goes for a slash in my bed Carly: lads are ming Ali: want me to forward that to lene Ali: make her day Ali: steal my girl Carly: do Carly: never seen her party before Carly: weird Ali: Yeah Ali: she can hang but Ali: you know, other shit on her mind Ali: work being one of 'em Ali: thank god I ain't working today Carly: & i cant get a job Carly: ha Carly: can get rid of this boy easy tho Carly: hold on Ali: another skill for the CV Carly: yea Carly: better not have knocked me up Carly: not cute Ali: Umm Ali: you need to go to the pharmacy Carly: theres so much shit on the floor i cant tell whats us & whats party Carly: idc Carly: idk Carly: ill ask him Ali: Lemme know Ali: if I could pick it up for you I would Ali: guess I can, put on a oscar winning show for the nosy bitch in there Ali: Ma will die Carly: ha Carly: its k he wouldnt have gone near me w out Carly: quoted Ali: what a prick Ali: better not be there when i show up cunt Carly: hes leaving Carly: screaming him awake will do that like Carly: ha Ali: what he get for passing out 🤷 Ali: coulda shaved his eyebrows off like Carly: next time maybe Ali: get out the sharpie and all Ali: now it's a party Carly: need your artsy talents tho Carly: me just hold up i need my baby Ali: you got it covered babe Ali: i believe in you Carly: aw Carly: i gotta clean me & this place need belief Ali: how long are your rents away and are there enough stragglers we can rope in Ali: twatface not included, bye Carly: idk but yea theres lads everywhere Carly: mattress is covered Ali: 👏 Ali: put 'em to work Carly: while i lie here k Ali: hmm Ali: no bitch Ali: i know you're princess 'round these parts but still Ali: carriage is back to being a pumpkin sweetie Carly: but im 🤒 Ali: you're hanging Ali: can't claim morning sickness now bitch Ali: chop chop Carly: ha Carly: k bitch Carly: honeymoon over yea Ali: will be if your 'rents come back to this and murder you Carly: idc Carly: be sweet to me Ali: awh baby Ali: only playing tough love Ali: thinking i'm spending too much time with my gf? Carly: yea Carly: i missed you when she stole you away Ali: how dare she 😜 Ali: missed you too tho Carly: youre mine Carly: married you first Carly: & you didnt say bye to me 😢 Ali: are you sure Ali: 'cos I ain't Ali: but how unforgivably rude 😰 Carly: id remember Carly: never forget my boo Ali: baby Carly: you can make it up to me tho Ali: oh yeah? Ali: lemme guess, feed u grapes whilst you recline Carly: nah just be here Ali: easy Ali: got to yoga first but then i'll be there Ali: went too hard with the dancing last night obvs Carly: k ill shower that lad off me Carly: i think you went just right baby Ali: too descriptive babe 😬😂 Ali: calm down with your creative ways Carly: ha Carly: you should hear me sext Carly: so good Ali: sure Ali: maybe works on the straight boys 😉 Carly: not trying to work on anyone else Carly: tell your gf if shes gonna come for me Ali: you're alright, not her type Ali: I barely am Ali: 50% like Carly: shit odds Carly: that why shes so angry Ali: as shit as yours Ali: just in reverse Ali: not saying you're both wrong but Carly: k Carly: cant all be perfect babe Carly: thats just you Ali: 💁 Carly: you kno Ali: ugh my brother's being so annoying Ali: bitch i'm coming down i will fight you Carly: which 1 Ali: dancing one Carly: hes fun Ali: glad you think so Ali: send him over instead yeah Carly: you come here & stay at yours Carly: i'll Ali: alright Ali: you're getting a rough deal soz Carly: why Ali: 'cos he's usually the alright one, so if he's testing me, wait 'til the rest rock up Carly: idc i can sleep through anything Ali: be my guest Carly: but i want you to be mine Carly: had to share last nite Ali: you done w sharing? Carly: yea Carly: im mad Ali: aww Ali: pouty princess Carly: [sends a pouty selfie] Carly: cuz its better when you stay Ali: you're so cute Ali: it's rude and i object Carly: just for you my baby Ali: 😏 such a tease Carly: nah Carly: you can have anything you want Ali: yeah yeah Ali: anything you want from the shops Carly: theres nothing here Carly: i cant do that to you Ali: okay, i'll get breakfast and cleaning shit Carly: theres no money tho Ali: i don't mind Ali: s'only breakfast Ali: IOU if you want but honestly Carly: you're too good to me & for me boo Ali: nah i'm not Ali: no one deserves to be treated like shit the morning after Carly: got me crying Ali: baby Ali: don't be sad Carly: come down is a bitch but youre an angel Ali: 💚 i know Ali: you've survived it many a time before though, you'll be okay Ali: especially when you get some food and hugs Carly: yea Carly: shouldve invited your brother to my party Carly: what a bitch i am Ali: no no, he ain't here, just blowing up my phone being dumb Ali: you're alright, sure you'll meet him when summers out and he's out on town being fabulous Carly: k didnt fuck up the 1st impression Carly: love the gays Carly: your gf excluded like Ali: he's stalked your socials and liked what he's seen Ali: not in a creepy way 'cos gay, of course Ali: awh 😂 why can't we all get along Carly: he can add me i wont send him nudes Carly: cuz she looks at me like she was willing me to hang this hard Ali: oh good to know 😜 Ali: not letting him though, he chats shite and if he's gonna I need to vet it Ali: deal with it boy, crazy posessive wife like Ali: she's just angry with me Carly: idk who lads are if i cant id them in my usual and not seen his dick Carly: my bad if nudes go where they shouldnt Carly: whats he saying about me Carly: who could be angry at you too beautiful Ali: me either for a while, like Ali: feel it's unfair to describe it from memory of having to bath together Ali: awks Ali: just that you're cute Ali: n fun, of course Ali: and a hoe with it 😜 so her, easily lol Carly: aw Carly: but you didnt snog ronan last nite he werent there Ali: nah but she thinks i'm making a twat out of myself with you Ali: tragic straight girl crush, like Carly: cant have a crush on your missus Carly: weve gone beyond it Carly: real love Ali: yeah Ali: but you know Carly: she thinks were gonna fuck Carly: 3way would sort that Ali: exactly Ali: can't on principle Ali: and even if we whack out the strapon, no real dick for you so Carly: list where ive been Carly: puts loads of people off Carly: she'll know youre not trying to get w me Ali: i'm not gonna do you like that Ali: fuck that Carly: idc Carly: do what youve gonna do boo Ali: i know you don't Ali: but i do Ali: fuck those people who are just mad they weren't higher up in the list Ali: s'why you weren't so jog on Carly: stop being so nice to me Carly: if youre mean she'll forget her jealousy Ali: i don't want to Ali: i can handle it Ali: if she can't then Ali: that's that, isn't it Carly: yea Carly: but i dont wanna start shit for you Ali: trust, you didn't start this Ali: it's easier for her to pretend that's all it is Ali: that's all Carly: k Carly: if i was a lad id be fucked wouldnt i Ali: probably Ali: don't agree with that, it'd be the same but it'd be different in how she'd be able to deal, yeah Carly: thank god i grew some tits Ali: 😂 Ali: good job babe Carly: my ma was made up as well Carly: took a while like Carly: cant let her get the album out cuz i look like a lad Carly: pretty one tho Ali: you were always cute Ali: i remember Ali: grew into your ears and all 😉 Carly: aw Carly: do you tho? Ali: yeah, 'course Carly: you were always scrapping Carly: shouldve got w your gf then she'd like you more Ali: 😬 let us not think of how troubling the age gap woulda seemed then Ali: must've thought i was a right scouse stereotype Ali: bitches deserved it tho Carly: i thought you were cute Carly: & brave Carly: i was always behind my ma's legs Ali: like my sister Ali: I was always down for the more the merrier but her and Laoise said coven's had to be three so Ali: 🔮 number and all Ali: and tbh Laoise weren't that thrilled Ro was there, like Carly: black magic vibes from her forever Ali: legit Ali: shoulda been scrapping with her, like Carly: yea or fucking her first bf but i got there before you Carly: idk how she knew tho cuz he didnt tell anyone Ali: never lose that sixth sense, babe Ali: esp. when concerning keeping a man 🙄 Carly: did her a favor he was shit Carly: didnt have a clue what he was doing Carly: thought every virgin binge watched porn like Ali: 😂 Ali: have you ever binge watched? you're learning nothing of value from that shite Carly: yea but when youre bored youre bored Ali: I hear ya Ali: always bored Carly: me too Carly: & this sex drive isnt set for a cry wank or eye fuck Carly: no offence ma and da Ali: can't take it personally, lads Ali: ain't there's to try and control Carly: they gotta txt me back so i kno when they are coming home Carly: wtf got you two so busy Ali: all that sex they ain't having Carly: porn binge watch Carly: tho my dad likes reading his Ali: Can't beat a sticky page Ali: lost arm form Ali: art, lmao Ali: sure his form is grand Carly: doctor like howd you lose that arm Carly: epic cry wank Ali: 💪 on the right Ali: limp noodle on the other Carly: hot Ali: that's your father you're talking about Ali: no need to be that stereotypical Carly: shit my bad Ali: 😂 Ali: i love you bitch Carly: I love you too Carly: loads Carly: im mad at you again tho Ali: why what have i done>!> Carly: some1 came round the doorway & i thought it was you so i opened up but nah Carly: enjoy the eyeful lads Ali: oh babe Ali: 😏 bless you Carly: not gonna put clothes on for my girl Carly: waste of time Ali: obvs, charm you out so quick Ali: least it weren't the postie, or was it Ali: Ma reckons we were gonna get complaints, as if mother Carly: lad did deliver for me Carly: not letters tho Carly: least id showered Ali: gotta replenish Ali: you chasing off your comedown rn tho Carly: cant outrun that bitch Carly: some of the mas on site are mad tho you can tell yours Carly: state of their sons my bad Carly: should've kept em in if you were bothered Ali: oh great Ali: no you can't speak to the manager, piss off helen Carly: ha Carly: my da is gonna be in such a mood when he hears Carly: sorry you missed out Ali: parents Ali: not like anyone died Ali: calm it everyone Carly: dont want me to fuck on site dont want me to go off it Carly: talk sense Carly: other day you were trying to marry me off da Ali: just 'cos it brings people to his door Ali: soz to take you away from all the cranking but Carly: yea Carly: sorry im not hiding in the back like w i was little Ali: yeah Ali: too big for the caravan now baby Ali: need your own, how much is it to rent Carly: theyre on about it but the state on this one might change their minds Carly: im cleaning as fast as i can k Ali: we're gonna sort it, i am omw swear Ali: and i'm a parent pleaser so Ali: do the rounds, sweettalk to mothers Carly: he'll just take me back to the doctors like take her off the tablets shes too outgoing now thx Carly: another of your talents boo Ali: when the meds work TOO well Ali: but of course Carly: if he was around hed kno how shit they are Carly: ha Ali: 😔 Ali: baby Carly: its k just gotta double down Carly: pro now Ali: 💚 Carly: style the freakout out cuz ima bad bitch Carly: facts and talents Ali: no lies Ali: the baddest Carly: what we doing today that isnt boring Ali: you mean you ain't buzzing to make like kim and aggy Ali: rude, i'm living Carly: do anything w you but Carly: can only check you out every time you bend Ali: cheeky Ali: appaz imma check all of you out, like Carly: what you dont wanna Carly: your gf will be sad shes so wrong Ali: didn't say that but yeah Ali: hate to make her admit that as well, like Carly: ill tell her Ali: you gonna snitch on me Ali: 🍯 Carly: nah jk Carly: i like annoying her tho Ali: i know Ali: it is funny Ali: not taking sides but lol Carly: taking mine i kno Ali: shh Ali: there's no right or wrong here, babe Carly: k but you love me more Ali: its different Carly: maybe Ali: maybe huh Carly: idk she dont think it is Ali: yeah Ali: but we know the truth Carly: fact is we're ruling this place together Carly: no surprise shes jealous Ali: if the 👑 fits like Ali: soz babe Carly: & we fit Carly: cant fight it Ali: nope Ali: if it works it works Carly: yea & you work it better than anyone babe Ali: oh you Ali: save it for all the Ma's you gotta say soz to Ali: 💋 Carly: ha Carly: mine will kick my arse out if she gets on one better leave the mattress where it is Ali: not gonna come to that but always room for a lil one at ours Ali: i got you Carly: aw Carly: never had a sleepover when i was a kid Ali: 😧 then you gotta Ali: tbh they weren't all that always but you know mine were the best Carly: yea no doubt Carly: all the magic Ali: exactly, midnight snacks and scaring the shit out of each other Ali: can tell you who you gonna marry if you've got a tea light, like Carly: thats easy tho Carly: no1 Ali: alright then, excluding the fact we already is so rude, tbh Ali: i'll tell you who you next gonna bang Ali: same diff Carly: youre just gonna say you Carly: smooth Ali: please Ali: gimme some credit 😂 Carly: now i gotta kno Ali: we'll do it when i get there Ali: which will be soon Ali: got stuck chatting to an old lady in the shop Ali: assume she can't see or she'd have avoided me like hell 😂 bless her Carly: if its ronan again or his cousin dont tell me Carly: aw so cute Carly: youre the sweetest & prettiest ever Ali: i'll casually throw the wax in the bin like nothing to see here Ali: not this morning baby but 1/2 ain't bad #stillgotit Carly: tell me you see my death & run like k bye Carly: every morning Ali: you'd rather your literal death? they ain't THAT bad, predictable but like, damn Ali: that's some shade, feel the burn, lads Ali: so are you cutie Carly: idk but over ronan hard Carly: hes being such an arsehole to me Carly: cba Ali: don't Ali: ignore his Carly: yea but like im gonna see him even if i do Carly: fucking site life Ali: i kno but blank him Ali: nothing talks louder Ali: or if you gotta, be proper polite like he's a stranger Carly: ha yea Carly: amazing Ali: childish but so is he so Ali: two can play at that game Carly: youre right i kno Carly: ive deleted his txts so i cant show you but its k cuz youd be sad Carly: or mad Ali: i'm sure i could guess the gist Ali: you can tell me if you wanna talk about it though, i promise i won't go ripshit Carly: idc Carly: ive known him long so i didnt think hed go that hard but thats what lads are like Carly: he fucks around more than me too Ali: he's a hypocrite Ali: just 'cos he knows other lads can do it better Ali: he's just insecure, babe, ignore him Carly: i need a holiday from here Carly: but ma & da never take me w Ali: shit considering how many times they manage Ali: cut a hol off and you'd have enough funds lads Ali: maybe we can Carly: i did kick off last time cuz they didnt refill my prescription Carly: went crazy like Carly: wouldnt want that girl there either Ali: not your fault, that, though Ali: you were literally off your meds Carly: that they reckon i dont need tho Ali: if you didn't then you wouldn't act like that without Ali: simple as Carly: never thought of that Ali: we'll go, i promise Ali: even if it ain't far Carly: lets camp Carly: marshmallows are the shit Ali: hell yeah! Ali: let's find a cave forreal Carly: YEA Carly: dont fall over tho Ali: do my best 😂 Carly: you gotta Carly: only scaring me w ghost stories or whatever Ali: promise Carly: k we'll go Carly: 💙 Ali: 💚 done and done Ali: do you wanna bring anyone else or Carly: got my fave coming Carly: do you Ali: nah Ali: just wanna take you exploring Carly: k Carly: then you can Ali: 👌 Carly: id go now so whenever you want boo Ali: soon Ali: i'll work it out Carly: i kno Carly: got the belief Ali: 🔮 Carly: should get dressed or nothing'll get done Ali: awh Ali: you knew i just got here Carly: they arent on yet Carly: not that fast Ali: jk Ali: find me on the mattress when you're decent bitch Carly: baby no Carly: youll catch something off that Ali: sitting on the carrier bag Ali: always thinking Carly: so smart

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Not too shabby, Jimothy Janis: How about you? Jimmy: Been better Jimmy: You know 😏 Janis: Goes without saying Janis: we both make do like but all things considered Janis: think it was 'reet' as you would say Jimmy: You're so full of craic Jimmy: No wonders I miss you already like Jimmy: But yeah it was alright Janis: 🍀 Janis: Take the compliment even though with present company its not asking much of me is it Janis: No shade to Cass or Bobs Jimmy: Want another, do ya? #thirstyworkthis Jimmy: Full of 'em thankfully Janis: Who you calling thirsty?! 😉 Jimmy: Denying it? Jimmy: Bold move Janis: Your word against mine Jimmy: Fair. You are louder than me Jimmy: Gonna get drowned out Janis: 😳 Janis: Prick! Janis: Not my fault that you just grunt like a caveman at all times Jimmy: If you aren't about it, do something about it, mate Jimmy: Just saying 😏 Janis: Ha.. what, teach you proper English? Janis: Not sure I got the time or dedication to the cause tbh 🤔 Jimmy: Nah you haven't got the vocab 🇮🇪 Jimmy: Need more than 🍀 is the drama Janis: 🖕 Janis: Drama is the only subject you're about, more like Janis: not working with an unwilling pupil Jimmy: You can't be my muse across every subject, mate Jimmy: So thirsty like Janis: Ugh Janis: I hate you Janis: So glad you're not here now Jimmy: Can't shut me up from this far away though Jimmy: We both know you've got means otherwise Janis: Such a blatant hussy Janis: all becomes clear now 😂 Jimmy: Skerries brings it out in me Janis: Well what happens in Skerries, like Jimmy: Shit. Hang on Janis: Okay Janis: Is it? Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: As you were Jimmy: What did I miss? Janis: Damn, didn't hear me lamenting under ya window? Janis: Guess the thirst isn't THAT real Janis: You good? Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Shame you weren't, could've caught me when I was tempted to throw myself out dramatically like Janis: That bad then? Janis: 'Cos you went away, like? Jimmy: My dad just had a weekend worth of opinions he simply had to share with me about how I've been spending my time Janis: I can imagine Janis: You aren't free childcare though Janis: I know my fam are lax about certain shit others aren't but he is taking the piss Janis: Right? Jimmy: It isn't like I even mind about looking after them, he's acting as if I'm desperate to be rid when I'd rather have 'em than leave them with him Jimmy: None of us wanna play happy families with him and his missus Jimmy: Have your fucking alone time Janis: Soon to be asking that, gotta be realistic Janis: Esp. with how little he's given the kiddos re. you're Ma Janis: What a headfuck, can't just transition seamlessly, son Janis: and as for the rest of that shite, he just KNOWS that'll make you feel guilty, Jim Janis: I don't know anyone who puts as much work in with their fam, he's not got a leg to stand on there, just knows what'll work on you, that's all Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it fucks me off though, it really does Jimmy: Feels like ages since we went away already and I'm only just back through the door Janis: I know Janis: Sometimes I wish we could just take 'em and leave for good Janis: Not really though, I know that's a lowkey fucked thing to wish considering Janis: Not trying to be an insensitive cunt, just hate it when he gets to you, if I could do something about it forreal, I would Jimmy: You do Jimmy: Not trying to make you feel awkward bout it but you do really help me Jimmy: I wouldn't be able to hack half as much of this if you weren't about Janis: 'Course you would Janis: You did before, like, since you was 13 Janis: That's mental Janis: Don't usually wanna gas you up this much but you're fucking strong, and I know you had to for 'em but still are Janis: Own it, big 'ead Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Still wish you were here though Jimmy: Or we were there Janis: Duh, I'm a delight Janis: and not going anywhere anytime soon so Janis: you're in 🍀 Jimmy: About time I had some Janis: That's the spirit Janis: just hit your Da with that quality bants 😎 Janis: won't have no comebacks, I bet Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: Sooner I can get my own flat the better Jimmy: Debating jacking school in but then who'd be there to get Mr Lucas' rocks off Janis: Won't someone please think about Mr Lucas n his needs?! Janis: Such a hero Janis: Forreal? Be a shame, like Janis: Not just for the art department Jimmy: I know. I wouldn't get to spend all day eye fucking you for starters Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: I dunno, sometimes it's the only peace I get from dickheads, kids and mad dogs but they aren't paying me to be there like Janis: Can't have you using your skillz on the CG punters instead Janis: Get restraining orders or their order over ya like Janis: Makes sense though, shame there ain't a compensation scheme like Janis: Maybe you could get run over and then say the Dr fucked you over Janis: double bubble Jimmy: Get your nan round to beat me up again Jimmy: Have a go too, be a hero, mate Jimmy: If anyone asked there was loads of 'em and I didn't see a single face, sorry Janis: 😂 Janis: and defs not a pensioner and a teenage girl either like Janis: probs the 'RA after you, like Janis: sell that shit to The Sun, boyo Janis: full of good ideas, me Jimmy: Quality Jimmy: I am gonna have to get another job at least Jimmy: any ideas there? Janis: Hmm Janis: Lets put our heads together Janis: What are your skills, Mr Taylor? Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Janis: There's a market for it Janis: Mia could be your sugar mama, play your cards right Jimmy: I'd happily go broke in that case Jimmy: Live in this box room forever like Janis: You got principles now? Janis: Didn't have 'em when you was sucking face with Tam 🤔 Interesting 😂 Jimmy: When Mia's concerned it's called common sense Janis: Don't reckon you got staying power to be nothing more than another flavour of the month? Janis: She does go through them, admirable in a way given all she's seemingly working against Jimmy: I know I haven't Jimmy: Kissed goodbye to my new boy appeal ages ago Janis: I dunno Janis: I still reckon you're alright Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Cute Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: [Sends a picture of Twix] Speaking of Jimmy: Absence has made the heart grow fonder for someone Janis: Real MVP Janis: been wearing you out instead of her Janis: You owe her, like 😜 Jimmy: I'm gonna bin off school Jimmy: I can make it up to her then Jimmy: Just for the day, keep calm dad Janis: Lol, really prove his point, like Janis: Teen's prerogative Janis: Fair though, I'm pretty knackered Jimmy: yeah why not Jimmy: you don't wanna come over to keep us both company then? Janis: You don't have to ask Janis: if you just wanna 💤 Janis: Not gonna be that bitch Jimmy: what kinda bitch you gonna be Janis: I've not decided yet, watch out world Jimmy: Keep me posted Jimmy: Twix needs to get a jump on her competition Janis: Look, baby girl, if its a competition between you and school then it is none Janis: but the lad here needs a break Janis: I'm soz 💔 Jimmy: 😎💪🏆 Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: You turning sleep into a sport now? Jimmy: Have you seen Twix when she gets going on a dream? #Athleticaf Janis: Aww 😍 Janis: why you taking on the champ, gonna have you picking up her shit- oh wait Janis: s'a dog's life forreal Jimmy: She was the one being #goals all along Janis: Truly Janis: can I come over actually Janis: I want to Janis: Call me thirsty all you wanna Jimmy: I want you here too Jimmy: We're even Janis: What was that? You actually admitting defeat? Janis: 😮 Janis: Never thought I'd see the day, Taylor Jimmy: Don't get used to it, like Jimmy: But I do owe you one for sorting Skerries Janis: I'll take it Janis: Even if it was hardly selfless of me like Jimmy: I'm alright with you being selfish if it means getting away from the shit Janis: Easily sorted Janis: S'my default, ask the fam Jimmy: I would but I'm gonna see how long I can carry on pretending families don't exist 😎 Janis: Not gonna say challenge accepted when you're being a good boy Janis: but I like the sound of that too Janis: plus, unfair, numbers wise Jimmy: You are at a disadvantage Jimmy: Never usually let that losing streak stop you though Jimmy: 😏 Janis: Fuck off Janis: Selective memory sore loser 😒 Janis: I got this in the bag anyway, you can't be cunty to kids Janis: I'm away there, all my fam be grown...ish Jimmy: You're gonna have to jog it for me cause all I see in my past are wins, mate Jimmy: Not that you can trusted if you've forgotten how much of a dickhead I am Janis: I know you find it hard to keep up with me but Janis: at least try, mate 😉 Jimmy: Don't have to. I'm a natural at beating you Jimmy: 💪🏆 Janis: 😑 Janis: I feel its my duty to inform you this isn't how you make girls like you, you know Janis: otherwise your chances of getting a new gf to stick are slim Jimmy: It's alright I don't want a new girlfriend Jimmy: And I know what works on the one I've got 😏 Janis: What a charmer Jimmy: You aren't denying it 😎 progress Janis: What's your game? Janis: Suspect Jimmy: No games Janis: Yeah right Janis: got my eye on you boy Jimmy: You always do Jimmy: 😎💪💕 Janis: 🕵 you're a shady character that's why Janis: could be a 36 y/o russian spy Jimmy: 😲 Jimmy: with this face? rude Janis: deep cover Janis: obvs want me for the olympics cos why else Jimmy: busted Janis: fans gonna be gutted Janis: never mind will they won't they Janis: rollercoaster from fake start to fake end Jimmy: We're gonna need new #s Janis: #whendimitriisnottheone #comradeBYE Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll get the vodka shots in Jimmy: Win you back like Janis: Not that easy Janis: but not gonna say no Jimmy: #thirsty Janis: how did we end up back here Jimmy: Too true for you to keep avoiding, mate Janis: what you think Janis: queen of avoidance Janis: won't see me for dust Jimmy: I'll see you tomorrow, babe Janis: Only by proxy Janis: 'cos my true love is there Jimmy: 🎻💔 Janis: Don't worry, we can still have mindless sex Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: Done Janis: Heart healed real fast Janis: Called it Jimmy: I'm easy Janis: Didn't wanna say it, kid Jimmy: Ask Tam she'll tell you Janis: I bet she would Janis: Unlike you I do my best to avoid her though so no tah Jimmy: Don't know what you're missing there, mate Janis: Ha, you can get fucked Janis: I'm not having a threesome with you and Tam Janis: not even for the #drama Jimmy: what about for the #craic? Jimmy: You'd be lucky anyway she's only about me 😎 Janis: So jealous 😒 Janis: Twat Janis: How about a mmf threesome, bet YOU ain't so keen now Jimmy: Depends who you're considering Jimmy: If it's Mr Lucas I'm well in Janis: All fun and games now but you know he'd be way too down Jimmy: 😒 Jimmy: Too real Janis: Mhmm, that mouth gon' get you in trouble one day Janis: what am I gonna do with you, eh? Janis: 😇 over here Jimmy: I'm the bad influence like Jimmy: Take that dad Janis: Yeah, I'll just tell him, like Janis: Problem solved Janis: Please him no end having to have a chinwag with me 😂 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: done deal Jimmy: not like we're trying to avoid him or owt Janis: oh, just thought we were trying to avoid our own, like Janis: there goes my bruch goss sesh Janis: gutted Jimmy: Keep up, mate Jimmy: Gotta totally isolate ourselves for that teen angst cliche Janis: Umm Janis: 🚩 Janis: are you going to tell me next that no one else cares about me but you? and that I need to block everyone and give you my phone Jimmy: You can tell your fam that next time Gracie's blowing up your phone Janis: I'd pay to see her rescue mission but Janis: I'll let it get to the danger zone before I do anything, standard Jimmy: Fair Jimmy: Can't fault you there Janis: Give you time to get proper creeper Janis: up ya game Jimmy: I'll take that Jimmy: Challenge accepted as per Janis: G'wan then Janis: Don't scare easy Jimmy: I already figured that out Janis: Clever boy 😉 Jimmy: have my moments Jimmy: Don't even need school, see? Janis: Still wanna jack it in then? Janis: Let Monday pass, see how you feel Jimmy: I don't wanna really Jimmy: Just being a crybaby about being stuck under this roof Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Fair Janis: I feel it Janis: You can always squat in the barn if you're quiet Janis: won't charge you Janis: much Jimmy: I can be quiet Jimmy: If you don't blow my cover we'll be alright Janis: Excuse me Janis: I'm stealth as fuck Janis: you know you got caught the other day yeah Janis: was saving your ego but Jimmy: Nah Janis: Did so Janis: you know Gracie got her 👀 peeled for you forever Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: Should've known that she'd still be obsessed with me Janis: You? Okay 👌🍆 Janis: watch you don't rub your shine off dickhead Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Thought you'd be buzzing she's switched her allegiance like Janis: Still not getting rid of her is it Janis: Unless you both run off into the sunset and leave me in peace Jimmy: Yeah alright Jimmy: You've got Twix you'll be sorted Janis: Like you give a fuck Janis: finally getting the twin you wanted all along like Jimmy: Naturally Jimmy: Just playing the long game Janis: Bit of a weird way to play it but Janis: this your usual approach? Jimmy: You're the first twin I've dated Jimmy: Lucky Janis: I really feel it Jimmy: [Sends a pic of Twix looking adorable] Jimmy: Bet you do Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Look at what you coulda had Janis: now you're gonna have to get a pug with my sister Janis: sad Jimmy: More of a cat person anyway like 😏 Janis: are you trying to get with my mum? Janis: sicko Jimmy: Nah just over mad bitches, you know Janis: Defs wanna avoid this entire fam then Jimmy: Nah their alright Jimmy: And not just by comparison Janis: Hmm maybe from the outside looking in Janis: They aren't but what am I gonna do, emancipate myself? I've got less cash and less of a place to go so not the brightest of ideas Jimmy: Guess we're stuck Jimmy: Twix has a lot of love to give but fuck all cash Janis: Preach Janis: Useless sugar daddy Janis: should take a leaf out my sister's book clearly Jimmy: Bit late for that Jimmy: You're too loved up Janis: Nah Janis: Tell Twix to speak for herself Jimmy: [sends a voice clip of Twix howling] Jimmy: Done Janis: 😂 Janis: aren't you in enough trouble rn boy? don't start her off! Jimmy: She's a bad bitch Jimmy: Can't be told Jimmy: I blame her training meself Janis: Oh, Twix, where you gonna go? Think on, girl Janis: Get what you pay for Janis: You want results, you gotta cough up for my services Jimmy: You can't need new kicks already, mate Jimmy: I know you've been shopping like Jimmy: The social's got you exposed Janis: What makes you think I was paying? 🤔 Janis: Mean she didn't buy you a 'round? Shame Jimmy: I know you weren't Jimmy: Gonna pay when Twix hears about it though Janis: Sure the flat whites are already hunting her down too Janis: Awkward Jimmy: Tam's probably trying to stretch her skin into a suit as we speak Jimmy: She's gonna need a touch of your luck I reckon Janis: Not your usual type, long and lanky then? Janis: That'll be a toughie but she's nothing if not determined, bless her Jimmy: Dunno I can't remember Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Nice Janis: Such a gent Jimmy: I wasn't trying to be Jimmy: She bumped into me and we had a dance to make it less awkward Jimmy: Far as that politeness went Janis: No need to lie 😂 I'm not the one that's gonna be crying about it Jimmy: No need to be jealous cause I'm not Janis: Whatever, weren't together Janis: not against any unwritten rules or other shite Jimmy: Still Jimmy: If you were jealous, like at Cass' party, no need to be Janis: You what? Janis: I weren't, you were being rude, that's all Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🤷 Janis: Always wanting me to be jealous Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Nope, just saying Jimmy: I'm that dickhead like Janis: What dickhead would that be? Jimmy: A jealous one Janis: Nah Janis: You ain't Janis: why would you be? nothing to be jealous about Jimmy: Forget it Janis: Can't say that, never works, like Jimmy: There's a first time for everything though Jimmy: Worth a go Janis: 🤷 Janis: fine, hit you with the shrug right back Janis: be like that Jimmy: I'm not being like anything Jimmy: I just don't wanna say it. Okay? Janis: Alright Janis: What do you wanna say? Anything? Should I go? Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: It's not your fault like, being too good for me and that Janis: Are you mental? What are you even chatting Janis: Fuck leagues, not even playing the same sport, and I ain't bragging Janis: For once Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: You're fucking stunning like, and that's just looks Janis: 🙄 Janis: Please Janis: that's the start and end of my qualities Janis: don't even make the most of that, like Jimmy: Shut up Jimmy: It isn't Jimmy: And you don't need to, that makes it worse, or better depending on the lens you're viewing through Janis: I've told you, I know what I am Janis: Ain't under any illusion I'm a catch Janis: Not fishing for sympathy like Jimmy: I'm not throwing any sympathy out Jimmy: Or compliments, just facts Jimmy: You are a catch, mate Janis: Blatantly not 'cos no one else thinks or has thought so Janis: what I'm saying, there's nothing to BE jealous about Janis: no one gunning for you 'cos I'm off the market, is there Jimmy: Only cause they can't compete with how #goals we are Janis: Yeah, that's the joke Jimmy: It doesn't have to be Jimmy: I'm not laughing Janis: No? That might've been your reality but it certainly hasn't been mine Janis: There's a reason I was a 'dyke' with no friends, and those reasons haven't disappeared Janis: You would laugh, you do Jimmy: No Janis: Forget it Janis: I'm using mine now too Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: I don't want you to forget what I'm trying to say Jimmy: Even if I am messing it up Janis: you don't have to Janis: say anything Janis: just 'cos I'm being a fucking sad case Jimmy: I want to Jimmy: There's so much shit I wanna say to you, alright? Janis: But you don't know how? Janis: Alright, Liam, fucking hell Jimmy: He was on to something Janis: Maybe Janis: 😏 Janis: You don't need this though, my shit ontop of yours, forreal, so you can forget about it, alright? Jimmy: I'm not that much of dickhead Janis: Ugh, can't you try? Janis: Always claiming the title and now where is it when we need it, eh Jimmy: Sorry Jimmy: Got no control over it like that Jimmy: Basically none around you, like Janis: You mean that? Janis: No bullshit, no bants? Jimmy: You know I do Janis: Good Janis: 'cos me either Janis: and I am jealous, really jealous Janis: and you know that too, I know Jimmy: That's why you have to hear me out Jimmy: There's no reason to be Jimmy: I swear Janis: Alright Janis: I'll try Janis: Its not personal, but I know its shitty to be on the other end of it regardless Jimmy: Good Jimmy: I can't lie now, I quite like it Jimmy: Nobody's ever been that bothered about me before Janis: Well they're thick then Janis: I Janis: I dunno Janis: Not had anyone to myself before Janis: that I wanted to keep Janis: not letting go easy, like Jimmy: Don't Jimmy: Me and you. Alright? Jimmy: That's how I want it Janis: Alright Janis: I wish we had a place to go now too Janis: Bad Janis: out of the question storming out in a teen angst rage tonight? Jimmy: It's out of the question for me not to Jimmy: I'll take the car Jimmy: Find us a place Janis: You're already in trouble I guess Janis: Lets do it Janis: I'll be waiting outside Jimmy: I'll be right there Janis: 👌 Janis: what are our chances of sneaking me in though? 🤔 seems silly to come back home only to come back tomorrow like Janis: up for the challenge? Jimmy: Put a coat on it's freezing out Jimmy: You know it 💪🏆 Janis: Cute 🖤 Janis: but as I've pulled, will do Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: Got the car keys that's the first hurdle like Jimmy: Don't even need luck Janis: Thank God, like Janis: just that good, yeah? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: 💕

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Planning a romantic weekend away

Jimmy: Gracie came at me earlier. There was mistletoe up and I near fully hit the floor 😎 Jimmy: Hold fire though. She only wanted to tell me to convince you of summat. Pretty sure you already know what it is Janis: Erm...Father Christmas is really real? That her weave isn't from dead Brazilian hookers? Janis: Enlighten me or I'll tell her she's got a holiday free pass on you 😈 Jimmy: Double date. Need I say more 😡 Janis: FUCK. I DIDN'T THINK IT'D ACTUALLY HAPPEN. Janis: How far does she expect the season of goodwill to extend, like? Already got some poor cunt being a charitable home for her arse so she don't freeze Janis: Single tear. Janis: Question is, can we make it worth it enough for us to endure that shite? Hmm Jimmy: I almost got my arse to church so it wouldn't. Shoulda sucked off that priest when he asked. Too late? Jimmy: You better get me a top notch pressie, baby 😏 Janis: You know you ain't on the nice list 😉 Janis: So, Santa might be dissing but you'll be getting something extra special from me Janis: As for God, and his holly jolly perverted following, I reckon we're both shit out of 🍀 there, no matter how good our head game is, such is life Janis: Grah, I hear she does shoutouts now...want that 'influencer' clout, baby? Not double entendre my end but might be for GracieGuru 🙊😂 Jimmy: what the fuck we going to do then? No way I'm hanging with her and her latest 'boo boy' Jimmy: Even if I was getting paid, which is likely since she just loves common grounds Janis: Preaching to the choir, dickhead, ain't my idea of a good time either, or hers let's be fucking real. She just wants to dry-hump a slab of boy in front of you on the off chance that really gets you going for her Janis: You wouldn't call her brainy, bless Janis: Idk, don't worry about it, Jim. Just avoid her/the flat whites like the plague and I'll have to literally run away like I'm an angsty 12 year old so we can't be located, even with friend finder or whatever they stalk each other with Janis: Oooh! Just call me brains, we should pretend to have a romantic weekend away planned, that'll send her over the edge, that is her everything goals Janis: Like I said, I can hide from a hoe Jimmy: I knew there was a reason I kept you about Jimmy: Let's do it though. Easier to take than fake the 'gram Jimmy: Any ideas? 🤔 Jimmy: Most of my boltholes are far from yours and not very enviable for that crowd #it'sgrimupnorth Janis: Yeah, why do you tbh? Janis: Now its clear my sister has got no respect for anyone on her hunt for dick/self-esteem Janis: She's hoping its a twofer like Janis: I don't know if I can stand you for that long, darling Janis: But I SUPPOSE your the lesser of two evils here 😉 Jimmy: It's love 💕 Jimmy: Come on, it'll be a laff. I'll get the beers in Jimmy: You can try harder to beat me at darts and pool Janis: As far as the adoring fans/salty haterz are concerned Janis: and that's all that matters Janis: bitch i don't have to try! 😤 you put me off last time with ur mooning 😍 Janis: we don't need to convince the old fellas in the boozer Jimmy: Fuck off I was getting practice in! Jimmy: If you're ready to fake a break up say the word but until then, it takes a lot of work to give you the puppy dog eyes. I'm not Twix Janis: Sure you was 😂 Janis: N'awwh but you do it so well! Janis: Audition for the School play whilst ur at it, soft lad Jimmy: I do enough fake snogging without signing myself up for that bollocks Jimmy: You coming away with me then or not? Jimmy: You know your sister'll be in again nagging before shift's end Janis: Well, when you put it like that Janis: 😒 Janis: I ain't got nothing better to do, and I certainly ain't third wheeling her fake date Janis: My grandparents got a place down skerries Janis: we can crash there Jimmy: How many rooms they got? My dad's working so I'll have to bring the ramble with Jimmy: #goals I know Janis: Fucking hell, my pissing sister! She owes you more than she's spending on coffee for the hassle she's causing Janis: If you really can't, don't worry, I'll sort her. She'll be unbearable when she finds out it was all for a laugh but it was at her expense so how much of a mug can she actually make me feel? 😑 Janis: That said, there's 3 rooms, its only a caravan don't get excited but the kids would probably be buzzin', it is pretty nice down there Janis: I'll even let you have the double bed to yourself Janis: ol Janis: l Jimmy: It'll stop them nagging me about going somewhere other than the park that'll do me Jimmy: Cass talks big but she isn't even really so doable Jimmy: Don't be getting any ideas though 😍😉 my brother hasn't slept well since we moved. I'll be sharing that double like it or not Jimmy: What a way to spend my first proper time off since I started #blessed Janis: Yeah, fish and chips on the beach even tho its fucking baltic, chasing Twix will keep 'em warm, you'll earn major big brother points as well as bae ones Janis: What a mighty fine man Janis: Same here, Cass. Shh about it though Janis: Like you said, it'll be a laugh, we can make it one Janis: You'd really rather be making pinkity drinkidies or whatever the fuck they are? Jimmy: Nope. But your 1st romantic break usually is. Any talent there is in all grans playing bingo? Jimmy: Be nice to get something off the 'gram 💋 Janis: I ain't been since I was about 9 Janis: I wasn't after bitches then and I ain't now Janis: I wish you luck, 2 kids hanging on your arm and a woman back home, like Janis: Does it for some. Jimmy: I'd do some talking first to get things clear I'm not tall Tammy 😂 Jimmy: Bet you were a right cute kid, weren't you? Aww Janis: Again, have fun explaining that one, mate. I'd struggle with the concept and I'm in on it. Janis: Adorable. What happened? Jimmy: Shut up you know what you look like, mate Janis: A butch lezza? Janis: So I've been told 👍 Jimmy: That's not what they are saying anymore. Check my comments sometime. The lads are gagging for you now Janis: Goody gumdrops. Janis: I'll leave my knickers at the door, like Jimmy: You could like. I've been waiting for you to drop me as your fake bf since this whole thing started Janis: I'm not interested in any of them. Janis: Would your world be set alight by Aaron O'Reilly from form? Janis: If you wanna cop off with some of your fans don't let me stop you Jimmy: You aren't. They're not my type anymore than Aaron's yours. I'm just saying you take a crackin pic and I should know since I'm the one takin 'em. So you don't need to spout that crap. They're just jealous of how much of a butch lezza you aren't Janis: Alright. Well, you're not half bad at taking snaps, and not in the bullshit way every hoe thinks they know their angles and magic lighting these days, you're actually decent. Janis: It don't feel like crap when Janis: blah, meant to delete that, ignore it Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: Wanna help me with my art project while we're away then? Kill all the birds (hopefully not with my flash) Jimmy: I'll owe you again Janis: I won't even joke on you for being a swot 🤓🤞 Janis: What've you got planned? Jimmy: I haven't had any time to think yet beyond film being the medium but Jimmy: #workinprogress Jimmy: with a muse like you m'dear how could I go wrong 💕 Janis: 😜 Janis: just so you know, i ain't bringing any homework but put my name or yours, yeah? 😘 not even in art but might count for something Janis: clue me in tho, brainiac, what do the kiddos like? i'll get 'em something Jimmy: Rookie mistake mate, art's an easy A Jimmy: They'll take anything covered in sugar. Can't say I'll love you for it when they crash mid journey though Janis: Only 'cos you're good at it. With my genes I should be but I can barely draw a stickman. Janis: I'll stick with double sports, sports science and science 👌 Janis: I'll keep sweets in stock for bribery, goes without sayin'! Different pocket to Twix' fish treats, though Janis: I'll have a look down town Jimmy: 😂 did you see that article doin the rounds about the mum who bought her kid a cat's advent calendar Janis: 😂 Yes! Shame catnip don't work like on us like it does cats, that kid would be pingin' Janis: Might get meself some, like Jimmy: What gets dogs off their heads? I'll keep Twix well clear Jimmy: She's high enough on your 😍 Janis: I don't know, actually...telling them they're good bois? Janis: Works for you boo 😘 Jimmy: I prefer being called a very bad boy 😎 Janis: You clown 😂 Janis: Good to know, suppose. Dirty weekend away though it ain't Jimmy: what our fans don't know won't break their jealous hearts Jimmy: you coming in for your freebies today or shall I do a delivery your way once Grace is home? 😉 Janis: Kick it really cliche and be my sexy delivery boy Janis: Try and bring something with sausage in so I can come at you with the quality porn writing Jimmy: Live your fantasies as well as your sister's if you want, my name tag says Jonathon today Janis: Ooh, spicing it up with some roleplay like we're middle-aged okay Janis: How boring are you that you've picked a name so similar to your own...this is why we've hit a dry patch, Jimothy! Jimmy: What would you seriously pick? Janis: For you? Janis: Who's a fittie... Janis: Anthony Joshua could get it Janis: You don't want to be in the play but reckon you can stretch to that? Jimmy: Next time I lose my name tag I'll insist on that. For the bae 💕 Jimmy: About as close as I'll get I think Janis: Who do you want? Janis: I wanna know your type Janis: Bar Tall Tammy Jimmy: Your sister obviously Janis: Fuck off, not even funny Janis: If that were true, you know where she lives bitch, I ain't stopping ya, she's practically shoe-horning you in 🤢 Jimmy: I meant the fit older one 😉 Janis: Ohhh Janis: Still, do one 🖕 I'm not pretending to be my sister you freak Jimmy: That's one pretense too far. Got it 😂 Janis: Yeah, in this hypothetical you've really shit the bed, pal. Jimmy: I only half read that because #customers and thought you called me shit in bed mate Janis: well... 😏 Jimmy: I fake rocked your world Janis Cavante! 😂 Janis: you know we faked it so i didn't have to fake it 💅 Jimmy: Aaron O'Reilly's walking through the door want me to slip him your number and end this? 😝 Janis: I will murder you. Janis: also he might think your trying to set up a threeway for YOUR benefit, so if you wanna take over the gay rumours that bad, go for it 💋🍆 Jimmy: I've seen you with a pool cue I think I'm safe Jimmy: Give a shit. At least I actually am butch Janis: Psh, you're all show no grow Janis: We're arm wrestling, then you'll see Jimmy: 💪 I'll beat you at that too then, shall I? 🏆 Janis: Bring it on. I won't make you cry too hard, save face in front of the kiddos. Janis: 'Let' them kick your arse too 😜 Jimmy: Try it, baby girl 😝 Jimmy: Cass probs could no lie. Scrappy af that one Janis: Good girl 👍 Janis: Gotta keep you in check Jimmy: Doubt you'll be calling her that when she's shadowed you all weekend Jimmy: She loves you. Who knows why? Janis: I keep telling you I'm a delight Janis: Has this...how long has it been? Month, 2? Of SHEER BLISS taught you nothing Janis: Ruuuuude. Jimmy: Nope. I'm with Team Bobby. You're a gross meanie Jimmy: As all girls are 😂 Janis: Well I'm winning Bobby 'round this weekend by hook or by crook Janis: then you can please yourself, billy no mates Janis: Team Janis 💪 Jimmy: Every bro knows you can't be friends with your girl Jimmy: DUH Janis: Oh yeah, all straight couples HATE each other and that's #goals Janis: If I can't be chatting shit on you, how will I get to talk about you constantly to my gals? Janis: Singing your praises? I THINK NOT Jimmy: Speaking of, Gracie and co are back on the premise that Tall Tammy left her....something. I wasn't listening. Should I break the news we won't be here for date night or do you want to do the honors Janis: Dignity? That's long gone, honey. Janis: Ooh, lemme do it, you're coming round with the sausage anyway Janis: We can do it together baby Jimmy: awhhh Jimmy: I've hidden the mistletoe but she can see the top of the highest counters!! I'm on borrowed time what do I do? Janis: Headbutt her in the teeth Janis: 'Accidentally' Janis: Can't help being a normal-sized human Jimmy: #customerservice Jimmy: then recommend her our chewy cookies 😂 Janis: You can see why I'm not trying to be your work wifey too, yeah? 😂 Janis: If you can convince any of those girls to break their diet, I'll be impressed Janis: Don't count if they go vom in the bogs after tho Jimmy: Gracie might be on her way already. One of her posse asked what you were getting me for Christmas and I didn't hold back Janis: Oh no, am I about to get slut-shamed? 😲 Janis: Or, heaven forfend, tips Janis: I will die Jimmy: Damn I didn't think of that. Sorry Janis: Its cool Janis: She's all mouth anyway, not in a beneficial to the cause way Janis: Be interesting hearing what she thinks you want, keep ya posted lol Jimmy: 🙌 Can't wait Janis: that's what you're meant to say about my present! Jimmy: I did, swear 🤞 Janis: what do you actually want Jimmy: Don't worry about it Janis: Oh, is it? If I'm not fucking your brains out you're not interested Janis: Fine then, save my reddies. 👍 Jimmy: That's what I was thinking. Stage a break up before 🎄 for max drama and min spends Janis: Cool. If you wanna. Janis: Just don't tell everyone you chucked me 'cos I wouldn't give it up. Already a frigit. Janis: What's the story then? Jimmy: Obviously not. We've been hooking up for ages got to keep it #goals Jimmy: I don't know haven't thought that far ahead it just makes sense to get out before gifting Janis: Yeah. Fair. Janis: Think on and let me know Jimmy: You too. We can brainstorm at the weekend. Nothing but time then Jimmy: Can't break up right after the break though Janis: Would look sus, yeah. Janis: Maybe I'll whup you one too many times, your fragile male ego can't hack it, eh? Jimmy: Grace'd be smug 😩 Jimmy: Can't even fake that, babe Jimmy: Nobody'd believe the story Janis: She's gonna be regardless Janis: I got the shitty end of the stick here like but ain't nowt we can do about it now Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: No we're goals we just burned too bright that's all 😂 Jimmy: You've got way more time served with me than she does any of her boos she doesn't win Janis: Mhmm. Calm down, Icarus. Sure you'll be comparing some other bint on a balcony to the sun in no time. 😘 Janis: Suppose so. Least hers are real, if not short-lived, and, well, shit. Janis: She won't know the difference anyway Jimmy: There's nobody like you 💕 Jimmy: Exactly I'm not going to tell her we weren't real Janis: Bullshit 💕 Janis: True enough, I'll take it. Jimmy: Shit gotta go the boss is back Jimmy: Love you 💕 Janis: Love you too, Jonathon 💕

#mad he wanna end it #hmm i wonder why bitch #this was good

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Ali

Fraze being a real cunt

Fraze: Sort it out for fuck's sake. Ali joined the chat 101 minutes ago Ali: Nah, youse the ones having to deal with her, so I shan't Fraze: Yeah I am so stop being a twat. Fraze: Or stay round Caleb's and really do ma in. Ali: 😂🖕  Unlucky Ali: And I am, I'll drop the kids round at some point so youse can see them but I've got shit to do so I won't be staying Fraze: Big of you. Fair dues though throwing a tantrum can be an all dayer when you're such a brat. Ali: Boo hoo, you're the one crying to me 'cos you can't stomach her for five seconds Ali: Give a shit, Fraze, this doesn't involve you Fraze: I was trying to appeal to you 'cause it's Christmas and dad wants you there but fuck off then. Ali: That's the spirit Ali: Why would I wanna be there? I'll see dad, and everyone else who isn't being mad cunty, in my own time Ali: I've got no need to commit to another day of this shite Fraze: Keep being a selfish cunt it's not like I want you there after you threw me under the bus calling me one of ma's failures Ali: Yeah? Glad I won't be missed then, no hurt feelings all round Ali: And go to ma for comfort, she'll happily tell you the truth will set you free on that score Fraze: I'm not the one whose proper hurt. She is. You don't give a shit but the rest of us do. Do me a favor and gimme a time you're coming so I can be out. Ali: Well she ain't the only one but the only one that matters, right? Ali: Then console her with how much of a success you are, console yourself whilst you're at it Fraze: Fuck you. You're such a spoiled bitch. You're hurt 'cause what she told you to man up and tell Ro Drew's a cheating scumbag woe's you Fraze: Just 'cause you feel guilty no need to make ma feel it worse Ali: I'm not the one crying 'cos I've not got my way here Ali: Its hilarious you believe everything she tells you 'cos that ain't the conversation I had with her Ali: Like she needs any help with her guilt complex Fraze: Aren't you? Ruining christmas 'cause you didn' t get your way for once ain't no better. Fraze: I'm surprised you wanna bother bringing your kids around if she's such a shit mum Ali: Who's ruining anything? She doesn't want me there, you don't, like I said, I'll make the effort to see the people who want to see me too Ali: Well I'm all for second chances, even if she thinks they're bullshit Fraze: Act like it then. Give her one. Ali: I am. Ali: She hasn't taken it yet Fraze: You haven't offered it. All you've done is avoided her Ali: That's how you see it. You don't live here, don't act like you're involved in this family any more. She sees me multiple times a week, she's had ample opportunity, I'm not the one hiding Fraze: Neither do you. Until Caleb upsets you and you come running back. You see her too. Why's it all on her? Ali: Grow up. Ali: I'll make myself and my children homeless, shall I? Ali: Not all of us bum the moral high ground as much as you, you moron Ali: Because its never on her Ali: She needs to learn to apologize when she's the one in the wrong, its not hard Fraze: You're the idiot that needs to grow up. Fraze: If its so easy do it Fraze: You can't even own the shit you said Fraze: Except her to kiss your feet though don't ya? Fraze: Hypocrite Ali: No, because I'm NOT in the wrong Ali: Keep up Ali: I know what I said Ali: and I haven't felt the need to be telling tales on what she said Ali: which is evidently all she's been doing so yeah, I'm good pal Fraze: Fuck you. She didn't rat you out, princess I overheard her telling dad why he's precious fave wouldn't be at the table Ali: Then you shouldn't be so nosy, should you Fraze: Yeah its all my bad. None of yours. Get a fucking clue. Ali: What's this got to do with you? Fraze: Oh fuck all except I wanted a nice family Christmas for my kids like we used to have Fraze: I'm the selfish one of course Ali: You aren't going to find it here Ali: you're not a child, any more, it isn't going to be that fantasy you've got in your head Ali: if you wanted that, take 'em to disney world Fraze: Cheers for the ma impression while she's radio silent Fraze: But don't speak on my childhood or how I raise my kids again 'cause you know less than nothing about either Ali: Please, you're 4 years older than me, don't act like I wasn't there Ali: You don't get to control the narrative Fraze: Why not you are Fraze: You don't get to tell me what's a fantasy Ali: Believe it if it makes you any happier Ali: evidently not Ali: it was what it was for all of us, we can all say how we found it but the stories aren't gonna add up and that'll create dissonance, hohum Ali: it doesn't matter either way Fraze: No it was what it was for you 3 and it was what it was for Joe, Bea and me Fraze: which matters to me Fraze: even if you're an ungrateful cunt these days Fraze: and apparently always were Ali: Yeah yeah yeah, and it was different for ma and da Ali: like I said, no one wants your war stories Ali: its different for us, you all agree, so stop pushing your bullshit onto us making us try to 'learn' from you Fraze: But it's fine for you to spout all your bullshit, yeah? One fucking rule for Ali Mckenna as per Ali: am I asking you to listen? Ali: I don't want to be talking to you, as per, you came screaming at me, like she did Fraze: Fuck off then I'm done Ali: ta ta dearest brother you're really good at this Ali: just like mummy Fraze: I ain't trying to be good to you I don't owe you shit Fraze: I was trying to help ma who I do Fraze: But forget it 'cause she's better off not talking to ya Ali: and I owe nothing to you, you can try and hold seniority over people for a while but don't act surprised when they tire of the lectures Ali: I sincerely hope so Ali: FYI, you're your own person, she'd like you to know that, according to her, you're NOTHING to do with her Fraze: FYI I already know that. I own up to my own shit good and bad. Fraze: If that's news to you suddenly too bad Ali: Hahahaha Ali: no, THAT is news to me Fraze: I thought you had shit to do Ali: Sick burn, some of us can multitask Fraze: Tell someone who gives a fuck Ali: Oh, you are VERY bad at appearing non-plussed Ali: your entire life experience should tell you that Ali: the only person you've got fooled is yourself Fraze: Thanks doctor fraud Fraze: throw that all seeing bullshit lens on yourself Ali: ??? Ali: You screaming at me for however the fuck long=me not WANTING to say sorry Ali: wowee, what a revelation Fraze: Just keep doing what you want. Please yourself like you always do Fraze: I won't see you later Ali: its only what our darling mother would want Ali: she's a bad person, don't you know Fraze: She thinks she is yeah. No thanks to you Fraze: really helping to change her mind ain't ya Ali: Sorry I'm such a disappointment, there you can have that one Ali: I mean it Fraze: Good you should be sorry too bad I ain't the one that wants to hear it Ali: you can tell her yourself Ali: it isn't my job to mother my own mother Ali: she wont give you a gold star but you can whack off to how smug you'll feel Fraze: Fuck you. I mean that. Ali: I don't care Ali: None of us love each other, its all falling apart Ali: I don't fucking care Fraze: You don't love us anymore now you've got your cosy set up that ain't the same thing Fraze: Good luck to you. Ali: Bullshit Ali: Joe's gone, Tommy left as soon as he feasibly could and he's only back 'cos he's got no other option Ali: You're busy pretending you're someone else Ali: and I won't be here soon either, so why delay the inevitable, it's all gone Ali: and I haven't got sod all 'cosy' literally what the hell do you know, all I've got is MY kids Ali: and they need me more than Tess ever did, I was surplus to requirements from the jump there Fraze: Some genius you are. You don't have a fucking clue. Joe's an addict, he's struggling. Tommy has been doing what he loves which meant he had to move. Also not about you sorry princess kitty kat. I'm trying to build a future same as you. It's hardly end of days. Fraze: Sorry you're not the centre of everyone's universe for one sec. Fraze: And everything ain't rosy all the damn time. Big deal. Ali: and why is he an addict? hmm? lets explore that shall we Ali: Bea's the only one building anything Ali: you're on her coattails Ali: its never been rosy that's my fucking point! Ali: and i'm sorry i've got sick of pretending its anything close to rn Ali: because it isn't and we all know it, aren't you all sick of pretending Fraze: That ain't for me or you to say. You'd have to ask him Fraze: You don't know shit about what I'm achieving or not you patronising twat Fraze: Nobody's asking for that except you and none of us are pretending either we're just making the best of what we've got which is apparently optional for you now you're over it Fraze: Life don't have to be exactly what you want for it to be worth a fucking damn Fraze: Stop acting like you're above us all and be with us Ali: Except I can't because he's gone. He's gone and you didn't give us a chance to say goodbye, no, I'll be as selfish as you want me to be, you didn't give ME a chance to say goodbye Ali: Oh yeah, my life is fucking peachy, I'm so great Ali: Everyone fucking hates me, is that the teen angst you want? Well whoop there it is. Everyone in this fucking town looks down their nose at me or outright abuses me on the daily, the kids I'm too young to have have a part-time dad and heaven forbid I act my age, my own family tell me to fuck off and die in a ditch, or tell me what an awful person I am Ali: there it is, yuk it up 'cos I don't know what else you want from me Ali: I have NOTHING to give, I'm so sorry I'm not worth my place in the tribe Fraze joined the chat 29 minutes ago Fraze: Put that and whatever else you gotta on me. It don't matter. I did what I did and I'd do it again. For him. Fraze: Boo fucking hoo. Deal with it. Nobody made those choices but you. Those kids don't need your sob story they need you to decide what the fuck you and Caleb are doing. Together or apart. Fraze: You don't get to act your age 'cause you're somebody's fucking ma now and its on you to let them be kids. Fraze: If you can't hack that you shouldn't of done it. Simple as. Fraze: As for the pity party you're having about us, nobody said anything like that. Calm down or keep projecting I don't care. Ali: Of course you would, no one matters but the sacred three. I know that, no need to remind me when you spend every waking day showing us exactly where we are in the pecking order Ali: This is a joke, what have I said to you, and mum, what is ALL I said Ali: we didn't need theirs, we didn't need yours Ali: but we got it Ali: and yet I'm nothing like my mother and my problems are NOTHING like hers Ali: I dare you to call her a spoilt bitch Ali: Wow, write a pamphlet. Ali: Read back what you've said, I'm not telling you what you said, you'll only say its bullshit. Just read it Ali: I just Ali: Never mind Fraze: You're a joke, Ali. Fraze: Your situation is nothing like ma's. You've had so much support all round. Like fuck are you working 4 jobs you're going to uni, you have multiple people willing to help with your kids and anything else at the drop of a hat Fraze: She had nothing but da. Fraze: I know what I said and didn't say. Spin it how you want just like with whatever mum said. Fraze: I'm not going in circles with you. Ali: That's all your doing Ali: our entire lives is one big circle revolving around them Ali: please tell me how hard she had it again Ali: as if that makes an iota of difference to my struggle Ali: so much support? Ali: I feel it Fraze: It should make a difference to your fucking behavior Fraze: but whatever I'm sick of this and if you can bail so can I Ali: Why? Ali: Why should it Fraze: It's called empathy brainiac Ali: No, it isn't Ali: that's the past, empathy is doing fuck all to change what it was Ali: you show empathy to the people who need it Ali: in the now Fraze: she does still need it in the now Ali: and i don't? Fraze: You get a shit ton of it Ali: WHERE Ali: I'm a joke, I'm a fuck up, I'm a cunt Ali: I'm not doing enough to help Ro Ali: I'm not doing enough for mum Ali: I'm a bad mother who shouldn't have had her kids Ali: there is nothing Ali: I'm not pulling this out of thin air, Fraze Fraze: You're pulling it out of your arse 'cause you wanna feel sorry for yourself and for everyone else to Fraze: You think I ain't been called shit. Made mistakes. We all have including mum Ali: Please do bring it back round to you and mum Ali: continue to prove my point Ali: call me crazy and tell me i'm making it all up Fraze: I didn't say that I said you're making a meal of it Fraze: build a bridge and get the fuck over it Fraze: talk to the people you gotta to change shit Fraze: Or just keep crying to me Fraze: what's that gonna do? Ali: Yeah, silly me for trying to get my own brother to care Ali: that's not how families are meant to work Fraze: I'm still here talking to you ain't I Fraze: you're the one not caring Ali: of course, what a cold bitch Fraze: You wish Ali: no i don't Ali: even if no one respects the fact that i have feelings that can get hurt just like the rest of you do Fraze: Again, literally nobody's ever said that Fraze: we're just trying to get you to tell ma your feelings are hurt Fraze: at least Ali: actions speak louder than words, even though your words HAVE been fucking horrible and you aren't convincing me otherwise Ali: she knows...she's the one who hurt them Fraze: and you hurt hers too Fraze: and Fraze: I don't know what else I can do here Fraze: this ain't even my fight as you said Ali: i know, i was the one who did it Ali: yeah a real impasse we find ourselves in Fraze: Do whatever it is you're gonna 'cause I can't multitask and I do actually have shit that needs doing despite what you think Ali: i was planning to