#i like my women insecure & flawed & messy but i'd never write them as CATTY unless it served a meaningful purpose. !

[zabiume]

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i got a comment requesting me to write in a romantic rivalry between orihime and rukia in my ongoing AU, which is so funny because a) i'm not going to do that and b) i find rukia and orihime's canon relationship so much more interesting? like obviously there is a lot of love there and that's why it's so hard for orihime to stomach her own envy. and orihime's envy isnt about rukia or ichigo or romance at all, but how little she values herself – which is a big issue she struggles with throughout the arc. since she's not a fighter, she has a hard time deciding what her role is, what niches she can fill in the friend group. what's worse, she realizes she's fallen in love with ichigo and how that's a step above having a simple crush because it opens you up to the not-so-great feelings.

and the best part about this set-up is that when resolution comes – true resolution – it comes from rukia herself, who promises to help orihime figure out who she can be. the fact that orihime opened up to rukia about her insecurities proves that, little envies aside, she really does love rukia and wants to be closer to her. a truly jealous person would not have let rukia see her at her weakest! but rangiku's little speech helps orihime try to reframe her thoughts about rukia. and that, to me, is such strong character writing and i adore that whenever orihime needs confidence or comfort, she always has older women as her role models.

speaking of, i also think rukia would definitely laugh if orihime told her she envied her because rukia herself had history that she hadn't fully made peace with. she's had her own moments of loneliness, insecurity, and even envy! little does orihime know that rukia has been here before, because what she knows about rukia is only after she started showing up at school! rukia had been an insecure, depressed person too and while orihime doesn't know this, rukia does, which is why she's so eager to help orihime. she is genuinely fond of orihime and is grateful that this little girl who didn't really know her well at all came to save her. rukia might pose as a cool soldier but deep down, she is a dummy with a big heart, so is it any surprise that she would gravitate towards people like ichigo and orihime? rukia's friendship with ichigo might have started as totally coincidental and by-chance, but her friendship with orihime is totally purposeful. they didn't have to be friends, but they chose to, because they like each other.

i'd even go so far as to say rukia gets to live out with orihime what hisana couldn't with her. she gets to become the big sister figure that no one ever was for her, except for maybe miyako who...rukia...envied. and now rukia is in miyako's shoes, comforting someone she sees as a dear friend and almost a little sister. this is a growth moment for rukia and orihime because it shows how far rukia has come and how much farther orihime has to go to become the mature, confident women they are!

i understand the desire to center ichigo in these conversations because, at the end of the day, these are the two female characters he has the most prominent, recurring relationships with and they're both such different relationships that they no doubt attract a binary fanbase. but rukia and orihime's relationship has enough to decenter him and look at what they're getting out of this bond!! why would i care about anything else

#this isnt an attack on the commenter btw. i understand that people like the spice & drama of a love triangle but i dont work that way #i like my women insecure & flawed & messy but i'd never write them as CATTY unless it served a meaningful purpose. ! #anywhooo i dont really know how to tag this *shrugs* #it's kind of funny bc that chapter should have been a clear sign of how he series was going to end & #what the status quo was between these three but somehow...it didnt... #this is why i'm always surprised when people say the ending could've gone either way bc i thought it was really obvious from ch 1 lol