#i might make a separate tag for noah but. he and ink are the same character. idk we'll see

[multi-lefaiye]

hi hello hi may we hear about the fictional gay people in ur head

HI hello i meant to answer this last night but. well. y'know how it is with mental illness.

anyway

so the main fictional gay people living in my head rent free right now are arthur huffman and noah phan, the protagonists of my wip for we are both fragile things.

i have a LOT of thoughts about both of them and i'm honestly not sure where to begin, so i'll just talk a little about them both at the start of the story.

arthur huffman is a white, cis, gay man from somewhere in northern texas. he comes from an upper middle-class family that isn't quite conservative, but they're definitely... not great, and at the start of the story he's struggling with a lot of internalized homophobia due to how he was raised. his parents also walk the thin between "not outwardly abusive" and "not good loving parents". they love him less as a person and more as an investment for their legacy and their future.

he has some serious trauma and is terrified of failure, abandonment, and disappointing his parents, but he covers it all up with a sweet smile and a charming, easygoing attitude. even if he's not the most educated on a lot of social issues, he's very much willing and excited to learn and support those around him. arthur is very outgoing and loves to befriend people who look like they're having a hard time, just so he can try and put a smile on their face. if he can't make himself happy, he'd like to make others happy at least.

at the start of the story, arthur is 20 (almost 21) and a junior in college, attending the same university (which i actually still need to name oops) as noah. arthur has recently changed his major from engineering to communications, specializing in journalism. his parents aren't happy with him for that despite this being a great decision for his mental and emotional wellbeing, so he's trying to get back on their good side.

noah phan is an asian-american (specifically vietnamese), trans, gay man from somewhere in western montana. he comes from a rather small, but very liberal/left-leaning community and was raised by a loving single mom after his father passed away when he was young. noah has never doubted that his mother loves him, but he struggles deeply with his identity and the fact that his mother has suffered and sacrificed so much for him and his younger sister. he wants to be strong and support his family, but he doesn't know where to start, and at the beginning of the story he's very much fallen into the habit of pushing his own problems aside so his mother has less to worry about.

noah has a serious case of depression, and at the start of fragile things he has only recently realized that he is trans and is dealing with that. however, he is still very much in the closet, and he hasn't told anyone except a couple of people he talks to online through forums and such. he feels isolated and has trouble reaching out to others, which has made it hard for him to make friends. at the start of the story, he has a very small friend group, made up of his roommate nina, her ex-girlfriend emma (they ended on good terms and are still close), and a classmate named tina. part of him is happy with the small friend group, but he still feels incredibly lonely.

at the start of the story, noah is 18 (almost 19) and a freshman/first-year in college at the same university as arthur. he hasn't decided his major just yet and is overwhelmed by all the options, but he likes the idea of becoming a teacher someday, if he can. noah loves children and loves interacting with them, and he thinks he might make a good teacher if he can just get over some of his anxiety first.

arthur and noah meet in the spring semester of noah's freshman year, in an Intro to Sociology course. arthur notices noah sitting alone in the back of the room looking sad and nervous, and he decides to plop down next to him and strike up a conversation.

okay this got a little longer than i meant for it to, so here's a rapid-fire little list of facts:

noah's favorite music genre is modern rock, whereas arthur's favorite is (predictably) country. they learn to appreciate each other's music taste more as they get to know each other.

arthur has a really good singing voice.

noah actually dreamed of being an author as a child, but he doesn't feel like that's a realistic goal for him. he still writes in his spare time, though.

noah is taller than arthur. i need to emphasize this. noah is 6'1" (~185 cm) and arthur is 5'11" (~180 cm).

when they start the story, arthur has also recently broken up with his latest girlfriend, because yes i'm gonna go ahead and establish this but arthur definitely tried to date women because he was THAT in denial about being gay. he's still gay though, make no mistake.

noah knows logically that his mother would probably be, at most, a little confused but ultimately accepting of his gender. however, he's so determined to make things as easy for her as possible that he's terrified of saying anything. no i'm not projecting <3

arthur really likes pokemon, but noah doesn't understand it. cue arthur very excitedly and enthusiastically explaining pokemon to noah, who's nodding and smiling but still doesn't quite get it. (he very much gets arthur pokemon platinum for his birthday one year <3)

okay that's all. i love these two so fucking much <3

(also yeah, noah later changes his name to ink nikodemos by the time bleeding over eden begins, but he does so to distance himself from the trauma he experiences relating to arthur's death. because ultimately noah phan died with arthur huffman, even if it wasn't a physical death.)

#talk to the bunnykitty #bat time all the time #long post #this got so long i'm so sorry ASDJF;K #fragile things wip #ink nikodemos #arthur huffman #i might make a separate tag for noah but. he and ink are the same character. idk we'll see #also re: noah's race #i am white and don't want to tell a story that isn't mine to tell. so the story isn't going to center-stage #the specific struggles faced by many asian americans #i won't erase them. they will be discussed. i'm not going to pretend him being asian american isn't going to affect him #and i am doing research and talking to people in that regard #as much as i can #however! again i don't think it's my place to write a story About Being Asian. if any of that makes sense #not saying all of this to start discourse tbh i'm thinking out loud here #realize this could've been a separate post but idk #sorry for the mile long post and tags <3