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Arplis - News: Your Comprehensive Guide to Online Dating Slang

Internet Dating Slang Terms You Need to Know in 2020

Though we're still meeting in bars and going to see movies together, dating today would be largely unrecognizable to people 10 years ago; changes in how we find our dates, how we treat them and how we describe ourselves to them have radically altered the dating landscape.

To many, modern dating can seem like a minefield of technical jargon; the phrase "My poly pansexual situationship ghosted me so I'm breadcrumbing this snack I had a half-night stand with last year, will you be my emergency call if he wants to Netflix & chill?" will be clear as day to some and unintelligible to others.

RELATED:All the Sex Slang You Need to Know

If you find yourself in the latter category, this gigantic glossary of 61dating terms is for you.

AROMANTIC

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: ay-ro-MAN-tick

Aromanticism is pretty rare, but it is real: A certain portion of the population does not experience the feelings of romantic love that seem to come naturally for so many of us. While that might seem like either a blessing or a curse, depending on your take on love, perhaps the most significant hurdle for aromantic people is simply feeling left out and misunderstood by a culture for whom dating, love and marriage are not only the norm, but the de facto expectation for all.

Etymology: The "a-" prefix roughly translates to "without;" "romantic," here, means capable of having feelings of romantic love

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't... fall in love." "You're not broken maybe you're just aromantic!"

ASEXUAL

aka Ace

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ay-SEK-shoo-UL

Being asexual doesn't specify whom you're attracted to, unlike other terms on this list. It specifies you don't experience sexual attraction. But this doesn't mean you can't have sex only that you don't feel the need in the same way. Dating an ace person? Expect to check in regularly with them re: their desires and boundaries just as you would when dating anybody else.

Etymology: Knowing that "a-" means "without," I'm sure I don't need to tell you what "sexual" means.

"Patrick, are you dating Scott? I thought he was asexual, not gay." "Scott's asexual and likes boys! It ain't mutually exclusive."

BENCHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BENCH-ing

Benching is when you're not into someone enough to commit to officially dating them, but you don't want them to move on and find someone else either, so you string them along juuuust enough to keep them waiting on the sidelines for you.

Etymology: You know when you're on a sports team but not actually playing, just waiting on the bench until the coach needs you? Yeah, it's the dating version of that.

"Rachel only ever seems to text me after I've given up on hearing from her. She's definitely benching me."

BIG DICK ENERGY

Dating / Identity

Pronunciation: BIG dick EH-nur-JEE

Big dick energy, or BDE, is something only a small amount of people possess. Its the quality of having supreme confidence without needing to be loud or controlling, a quiet understanding of who you are and what you bring to the table that doesnt require backtalk, bragging, or B.S. In short, someone with big dick energy is incredibly hot, and more guys should try to emulate that. The truth is, you can have BDE no matter what your penis size is as long as youre comfortable with who you are.

Etymology: The phrase was coined by Twitter user @imbobswaget in a tweet mourning the June 2018 death of TV personality and chef Anthony Bourdain. It implies that a person (or thing) exudes the confidence that must come with having a large penis and Bourdain's kindness, charm and humble swagger were just that.

Damn, look at that guy over there. Hes totally exuding big dick energy.

BISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: by-SEK-shoo-ULL

Bisexual persons are attracted to two genders. In the nineties, we'd have said "bisexual persons are into men and women", but we know a little more about sex and gender than we used to. Swinging both ways, flexible, cross-platform compatible, or rooting for both teams, a bisexual person can enjoy sex with or fall in love with the same gender as themselves, or a different gender from themselves. Bi people might prefer dating one gender and sleeping with another, but we still call 'em bi.

Etymology: A bisexual person is like a bicycle; both share the prefix bi, which means two.

"Mike, why do you call yourself bisexual? You've only ever dated women." "That's true, but I just haven't met a guy I wanted to call my boyfriend yet."

BREADCRUMBING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BREAD-crum-ing

Breadcrumbing is when you send flirty but non-committal messages to a person when you're not really interested in dating them but don't have the guts to break things off with them completely. The breadcrumbee is strung along for the sake of sparing the breadcrumber a confrontation.

Etymology: Think of the phenomenon of getting a small creature to follow you by laying a trail of breadcrumbs here, and you've got the right idea.

"Rene replies to every second or third message I send her but never wants to meet IRL. I think she's breadcrumbing me."

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KAZH-oo-ull ruh-LAY-shun-ship

Somewhere in between f*ckbuddies and going steady is the casual relationship, in which two people typically hang out regularly and have sex but don't partake in the hallmarks of a serious relationship, like exclusivity, ongoing commitment and spending time with each other's friends and family.

Etymology: This one's pretty straightforward in meaning: it's a romantic relationship that's not too serious or committed.

"I have a friends with benefits type thing going on with Emily, you know? It's a casual relationship."

CATFISHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KAT-fish-ing

Catfishing is one of those dating terms that has legitimately made its way into the mainstream, thanks to the TV show and movie of the same name. Messaging with someone who's pretending to be someone else? You're being catfished! These setups tend to end badly. But until then, move your conversation with your crush to the phone/IRL/video chat of some sort as soon as you can muster. If they're resistant, they might be catfishing you.

Etymology: The term gained popularity after the release of the 2010 documentary on the then-burgeoning phenomenon, Catfish, but the real reason for the name is harder to come by.

"She always has a different excuse not to meet up with me." "Sounds you're being catfished..."

CISGENDER

aka Cis

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: siss-JENN-der

Cisgender is a term for people who aren't transgender, or whose assigned gender lines up with their actual gender. But isn't that 'normal', you might ask? Actually, it isn't, it's just more common: variations in sex and sexuality are perfectly normal and occur frequently in nature (gender is a little more complicated, as we don't have a theory of mind that encompasses gender for nonhuman animals). While cisgender persons may outnumber transgender persons, it isn't a default setting; it's one of many.

Etymology: From cis-, meaning literally 'on this side of' in mathematics and organic chemistry.

"So what's the opposite of trans, then? Normal?" "Well, no, it's not that simple. But the term you're looking for is 'cis'."

CUFFING SEASON

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KUFF-ing SEE-zun

Cuffing season is the period between early fall and late winter when everyone starts to shack up with the nearest half-decent single person to ward off loneliness and cold during the cooler months. Cuffing season typically implied a short term, mutually beneficial arrangement that's strictly seasonal, and it ends as soon as the leaves start turning green again. The term is African American Vernacular English (AAVE) and has been around at least since the early 2010s.

Etymology: Cuffing, as in "handcuffing", because you're chaining yourself to someone else at least until winter's over.

"Starbucks just brought back the pumpkin spice latte, it must be cuffing season!"

CURVE

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: KURV

Getting curved is being rejected, shot down, turned aside, said no to, dissed and dismissed. Yes, it sucks. When you get curved you need to take a moment to properly absorb all of the "no" that just hit you. But there's also something beautiful to a well-done curve; it's a memento to a failure, big and small, that you can carry around with you and use to prop up or tear down narratives about your dateability.

Etymology: A curve is often subtler than a flat-out no (think: Your text gets "Seen" but not responded to), so even if it hurts the same, it carries a name that implies a redirection rather than an outright rejection.

"I tried to ask out this babe at the bar last night and she curved me harder than I've ever been curved in my life."

CUSHIONING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KUSH-on-ing

As above, cushioning is the process of staying in contact with one or more romantic prospects as a backup in case things don't go smoothly with your main squeeze. The "cushions" are usually kept on the periphery, eg. texting rather than full blown cheating.

Etymology: Cushioning, as in, keeping a person or several people around to "cushion" the blow if your main relationship doesn't work out.

"I do really like Priya, but I'm still texting Sian just in case. Yeah, I guess I'm cushioning."

DADDY

Dating / Identity

Pronunciation: DAH-dee

Over the past few years, daddy culture has risen to become pretty mainstream. These days, its normal for teens and assorted millennials to use the word daddy in either a sexual or sex-adjacent context. You might call your partner daddy in bed, or you might acknowledge a hot older mans daddy vibes because of his muscles, body hair, facial hair, and personal wealth. Either way, yes, its low-key incestuous, but the people have spoken.

Etymology: From the word daddy, meaning father.

She keeps on texting me, choke me daddy. What the hell does that mean?

DEMISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: DEH-mee-SEK-shoo-ULL

A demisexual is a person whose sex drive is tied not to an immediate visual or physical attraction but to people's personalities once they've gotten to know them. As a result, demisexuals are poor candidates for one-night stands and casual relationships which may make them feel a bit alienated in our current dating climate. But they're no more or less capable of deep, loving relationships as the rest of us, so if you're prepared to take things slow sexually, demisexuals can make for great partners, too.

Etymology: Demi means half, or part positioning demisexuals between asexuals and people who do typically experience sexual desire.

"At first I thought I was asexual, but then I realized I can have sexual desire for people... just not until I really know them!" "Sounds like you might be demisexual."

DM SLIDE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: DEE-em slide

A DM slide is when you direct message your crush using the private messaging functions available on all of the major social media networks, eg. Twitter and Instagram. You usually need to be mutuals first ie. follow each other to avoid your message ending up in an "other" folder, and DM sliding tends to occur after some public interaction, eg. liking each other's pics or @ replying.

Etymology: DM stands for "direct messages", and "sliding" is the process of entering someone's direct messages to flirt with them.

"Brandy just posted a selfie and she's looking hot AF! I'm about to slide in the DMs."

DTR CONVERSATION

aka DTR, DTR Convo

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: dee-tee-ARE con-ver-SAY-shun

A DTR conversation is a pivotal moment in a relationship: It's the moment you discuss what you are. Are you a for-real couple, or just friends with benefits, or a situationship? Timing is huge, here. Have your DTR too early and you risk scaring the other person away; too late and you might discover they've been casually dating around the whole time, assuming it wasn't serious.

Etymology: There's no great mystery here DTR simply stands for "define the relationship."

"It's been six months and I just don't know what we are yet?" "Well have you had a DTR convo with him?

EGGPLANT EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: EGG-plant ee-MO-ji

There are other sex emojis the peach (a luscious butt) and the water drops (either wetness or ejaculate, depending on your tastes), notably but the eggplant emoji is doubtless the most suggestive. Why? Well, peach and water drops are actually used in other contexts. But when was the last time you needed to use a damn eggplant emoji to signify eggplant?

Etymology: People just noticed that the eggplant emoji was phallic-looking. The rest is history.

"Wow, did you see that bulge? Man, I'd love to see his eggplant emoji, if you know what I mean."

EMERGENCY CALL

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: eh-MUR-jun-see KOL

An emergency call is a fakeout that allows you to politely get out of a particularly bad date. If you can tell the night's going to be a trainwreck from the earliest moments (and you often can) but you're genuinely afraid of insulting the stranger you're sitting across from, a fake emergency call from a friend saying "Your brother's in the hospital" or "Your cat just died" early on in the evening can be a real lifesaver.

"Oh, God, thanks for agreeing to be my emergency call last night. What a nightmare date that was."

FIREDOORING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: FIE-er DOH-ring

This is the dating version of the one-way fire door on rare occasions, someone will come out of their shell to contact you, but won't respond if you attempt to get in touch. It's a setup that only works in deeply unequal situations if you're getting firedoored, you're constantly feeling frustrated and only occasionally satisfied. If this is happening to you, get out and close the door behind you. There are tons of people out there who won't do this to you!

Etymology: A fire door is a one-way door it allows you to exit (on rare occasions) but never allows anyone to enter.

"She never responds to my messages, but texts me 'u up' at 1 a.m.? What's the deal?" "Sounds like you're getting firedoored, bud."

FRECKLING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: FRECK-uh-ling

Just as cooler temperatures bring out cuffing season and associated coupling up, warmer temperatures change peoples dating behaviors. If someone only seems interested in you during the warmer months, it might be a case of freckling. Maybe they got out of a relationship of sorts during the spring and now that its summertime, youre on their hookup roster. Unfortunately, theyre not looking for anything serious or permanent just like freckles, theyll disappear come fall.

Etymology: From freckles, small patches of facial skin that darken during the summer for some people with pale skin.

"Its been three weeks since school started and I havent heard anything I think she was just freckling me."

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

aka FWB

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FRENDS with BEN-eh-fits

Friends with benefits is the relatively classy way of saying you know someone and care about them and are regularly engaging in sexual acts with them, but not within the context of a relationship. It implies a certain looseness of arrangement. You probably don't see each other as often as a real couple; don't tell each other all the details of your lives; don't put each other down on emergency contact forms (or mention each other on social media profiles). That doesn't mean you're cold, unfeeling robots; it just means a relationship isn't exactly what you want.

"So what are we? Is this a relationship? Or are we just friends?" "I think we're friends... with benefits."

F*CKBUDDIES

aka F*ckfriends

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FUK-buh-deez

Isn't that... basically friends with benefits? Yes, arguably, they're pretty similar. At the same time, though, the use of the F-word in one of the terms (compared to the very euphemistic "benefits" denotes a very different sexual ethos. One is classy, old world, and stuffy; the other is crass, lewd and very present. So, arguably, one is for the type of people who are ashamed of such a sexual arrangement, and one is for people who aren't. Or maybe how you describe your setup depends more on who's asking. Whatever works!

Etymology: F*ck means sex... buddies means friends... should be pretty straightforward.

"I met this great girl. We've been seeing each other a lot... just for sex, though, no dates. We're f*ckbuddies."

GAY

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: GAY

This term is one of the more flexible on the list, but, generally speaking, someone who identifies as gay is exclusively attracted to, or exclusively dates, or exclusively has sex with, people who are the same gender as themselves but it's a term that's been reclaimed by many across the spectrum of sexuality so if you see a queer woman proclaim she's gay despite dating men too, it's not necessarily the contradiction you think it is.

"Carol, would you like to grab coffee with me this weekend?" "Sure, Jim, but as friends. You do know I'm gay, right?"

GENDERFLUID

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: JEN-der-FLOO-id

Can be applied to people who feel outside the gender binary, or it can be applied to persons who feel that their gender isn't fixed, but variable changing from day to day. Unlike nonbinary persons, a genderfluid person might identify as male and female, on different days, whereas a nonbinary person will usually identify as neither male nor female. Someone's gender identity has nothing to do with whom they're attracted to, or what they look like on the outside, or what physical sex they were born as. Gender is a mental conception of the self, so a genderfluid person can present as any gender or appearance, based on how that term feels for them.

Etymology: Gender, as in, your gender. Fluid, as in flowing, non-stable, movable, changeable.

"Hey, could you ask Scout if I could have her number? I need to ask her about this chem assignment." "Hey, buddy, I'll definitely ask for you, but you should know that Scout's not a 'she' they're genderfluid."

GHOSTING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: GO-sting

Ghosting is when you disappear out of someone's life because you're no longer interested in them, instead of telling them directly. It's more abrupt than breadcrumbing: the ghoster will suddenly stop replying to texts and won't answer calls, and the ghostee is usually left hurt and confused.

Etymology: You know the disappearing act ghosts are known for? That, but it's your crush instead of a poltergeist.

"I'm not really feeling Melissa anymore, but she's really into me. I think I'm just gonna ghost her."

HALF-NIGHT STAND

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: HAFF nite STAND

The traditional one-night stand involves meeting a sexually-attractive stranger and taking them home for a night of unattached sex: they leave in the morning and you don't see them again. Well, the half-night stand cuts out the staying over part: the late night guest leaves straight after the sex is over.

Etymology: A half-night stand is 50 per cent of a one-night stand get it?

"Joe was lazy in bed and wouldn't give me head, so I got out of there as soon as he fell asleep. I guess I've had a half-night stand now!"

HAUNTING

aka Zombieing

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: HAWN-ting

Haunting occurs when you think you have finished things with a date that didn't work out or even a serious relationship but then you notice signs that your ex is lurking your social media feeds, eg. they randomly like old Instagram pics or watch your daily stories. Often the notifications are a deliberate attempt to remind you that they exist.

Etymology: This is another supernatural dating metaphor but the meaning is almost the opposite of ghosting: in this case the offender lingers around rather than disappearing.

"Guess who watched my Instagram story today, of all people!? John! He's haunting me, and it's really creepy."

INCEL

aka Virgin

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: IN-sell

Incel is a term that became popular on Reddit to describe men who can't get laid. The term, as a descriptor, is doubly demeaning. Not only is no one attracted to incels, but they also have a stupid name to describe them. Most incel problems could be sorted out by putting in minimal effort into looking better and having more positive interactions with women, but that's none of our business. Incel's slightly less embarrassing cousin is volcel the voluntarily celibate.

Etymology: Incel is a portmanteau of the phrase "involuntarily celibate" someone who's sexually inactive but wishes they could be.

"Ugh, I haven't had sex in almost three years. I'm such an incel."

KITTENFISHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KIT-in-FISH-ing

Coined by dating app Hinge, Kittenfishing is when you portray yourself in an unrealistically positive light in your online dating profiles. We all do this to some extent, but kittenfishing crosses the border into dishonest territory: think photoshopped or very outdated profile pics, or listing "lawyer" as your occupation when you're really a first year law student.

Etymology: You already know about catfishing, when a person pretends to be someone they're not online. Well, kittenfishing is the lite version of that.

"Remember that girl I was messaging on Tinder? Well, we met IRL, and she was definitely kittenfishing."

LEFT ON READ

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LEFT awn RED or LEFT awn REED

You send a text to your crush and wait for their reply, giddy with excitement. Maybe youre asking them out on a date, or maybe youre just trying to start a conversation. Regardless, rather than a reply, you simply get a read receipt. Read at 2:39 p.m. Then nothing. If youre watching the convo like a hawk, you might get the indignity of seeing them start to type a reply and then give up. Its a demoralizing feeling to be left on read. Its also a good reason not to use read receipts.

Etymology: From the phrase read receipt, a notification visible in a chat or text window when a person has seen a message but not responded.

"Is he still leaving you on read? You need to get over him ASAP."

LOCKERING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LAH-ker-ing

If youve ever experienced someone ditching you by claiming theyre studying when in fact theyre just not interested, what you felt was lockering. For high-school sweethearts starting college at separate schools, this could be a prelude to a Thanksgiving breakup, better known as a turkey dump. Since the main feature of lockering is the claim that nothings wrong, theyre just focusing on their studies, it could occur at any point during your time in school.

Etymology: From the word locker, a small, typically locked space for your personal belongings in a large public building such as a school.

"How come youre always studying and you never have time to catch up? Are you lockering me?"

LGBTQ

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ELL-jee-bee-tee-CUE

LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (or questioning), and its an acronym that's used to include the whole of a bunch of different communities of people whose sexualities or gender identities place them outside of the mainstream both historically and today. Some incarnations of the term include groups like intersex people, asexuals; and often the final Q is omitted in popular discourse. Nevertheless, it's a useful term when you're trying to refer to several, often intersecting groups of people at once.

"I love all my LGBTQ friends!"

LOVE BOMBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LUV BOM-ing

Love bombing is when a new partner shows extreme amounts of affection early on and expends serious energy in a deliberate attempt to woo you. However, once you've committed to a relationship with them, the love bomber will withdraw all that affection and let their true, ugly colors shine through, leaving you stuck in a nightmare relationship. This one's really not cute: love bombing is manipulative and abusive.

Etymology: Like its literal counterpart, a love bomb is awesome and spectacular at first, but ultimately very destructive.

"Graeme was so sweet at first, but now he's manipulative and jealous all the time. I guess he love bombed me."

MICROCHEATING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: MY-cro-CHEA-ting

Microcheating is a form of infidelity that stops short of the full-blown, overt cheating that occurs when a person sleeps with someone else behind their partner's back, but is low-level, cumulative dishonesty and infidelity that is intolerable in a committed relationship. Think heavy flirting, tonnes of secrecy, furtive kissy-face emojis and emotional affairs.

Etymology: If you think of cheating behaviors as existing on a scale, these ones are on the more minor end.

"I've never caught Imogen sleeping with anyone else, but she's constantly flirting with other guys and texts everyone except me. In my opinion, she's microcheating."

NETFLIX AND CHILL

Graeme Adams

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: NET-flicks and CHILL

In its original inception, "Netflix and chill" was a euphemism for a stay-at-home date that led to sex pretty quickly. The idea being: You invite your crush over under the premise of "just watching some Netflix and chilling" and then either abandon the movie pretty early or perhaps never even get to it, as hooking up becomes the main attraction.

"How'd it go?" "Well, I invited him over for a little Netflix and chill... you can guess what happened next."

NON-BINARY

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: non-BYE-nuh-ree

A non-binary person isn't cisgender, they are transgender. But not all transgender persons identify as the 'opposite' gender they were born as; in fact, many reject the idea that there are 'opposite' genders at all. A non-binary person may identify as neither male or female, or both male and female, or as a traditional gender to their culture (such as two-spirited or third gender). It's polite to use 'they' as a default pronoun until instructed otherwise if you're unsure about someone's gender. Never assume!

Etymology: The prefix non- is modifying the noun 'binary', nullifying the idea that gender exists as only two options.

"I thought Padraic was trans? Why doesn't Padraic want to be referred to as 'she'?" "Padraic is trans, but they're nonbinary, not femme!"

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: OH-pin ruh-LAY-shun-ship

An open relationship is a committed, romantic relationship that contains an arrangement where both parties can sleep with other people. It's not cheating, because both parties are honest with each other and have the same freedom to engage in sex with other people. Open relationships often contain specific rules and boundaries, just like monogamous relationships, but "no sex with anyone else, ever!" isn't one of them.

Etymology: The opposite of a traditional, "closed" relationship, an open relationship relaxes the rules on monogamy.

"I love Max, but I think we'd both benefit from a bit more sexual freedom. I'm thinking of asking him for an open relationship."

ORBITING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation:OR-bih-ting

Unlike with ghosting or zombieing (a term you'll find if you keep scrolling), theres no text, call or other form of communication that initiates anything. In this case, you'll see a notification, get your hopes up, but find they never actually reach out.Just rememeber: if someone really wants to date you, theyd probably make more of an effort than tapping on a like button.

Etymology: Just as the planets revolve around the sun with no direct interaction, this person checks all your social media accounts without ever saying a word.

"Hmm ... watches my Instagram story, likes my photos, reads my DMs, but doesn't respond. Yep, I'm being orbited."

PANSEXUAL

Graeme Adams

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: pan-SEK-shoo-ull

Some people, for whatever reason believe that the term bisexual doesn't apply to them. Maybe they're a woman who's attracted to women, men, and nonbinary people. Or maybe they feel like their sexuality is too fluid for a simpler label. Some people have adopted pansexual because it doesn't reinforce the gender binary through its name.

Etymology: Pan-, meaning all; someone who is attracted to all persons and genders.

"So are you still bisexual?" "Well, ever since my partner transitioned I feel like the word 'pansexual' suits me better, you know?"

PHUBBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: FUH-bing

Ever been hanging out with a date or significant other only to notice theyre paying too much attention to their phone? Thats a case of phubbing. Its a pretty ugly word, but honestly, its a pretty ugly act. With people using technology to stay in constant connection to their friends and followers, it can be easy to forget about the person right in front of you. A consistent phubber is sending a message, intentionally or otherwise, that youre simply not the top priority, their phone is.

Etymology: A combination of phone and snubbing.

"Man, every time me and Mark hang out, hes always on Instagram when Im talking to him. I feel so phubbed."

PIE HUNTING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: PIE HUNT-ing

As you can probably deduce, pie hunting is an unsavory dating phenomenon in which a person (the "hunter") deliberately dates "pies", or heartbroken, vulnerable people with messy dating histories, who are perceived to be easier and lower-maintenance.

Etymology: A "pie" is a person with a disastrous dating history familiar with rejection and heartbreak. It comes from "pied off", British slang for being stood up or dumped.

"Dave only ever dates divorcees. He's a real pie-hunter."

POLYAMOROUS

aka Poly

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: paw-lee-AM-oh-riss

In its various forms, polyamory has been a part of human culture for millennia, particularly in the form of polygamous marriages, but it's enjoying a resurgence in modern dating culture as millennials (children of divorce faced with untold levels of choice) break with monogamous tradition and begin exploring their options. It's not a free-for-all there are still rules, and cheating does exist but consensually dating (and loving) multiple people at once could represent the future of dating.

Etymology: Polyamorous comes from the Greek poly (many) and amor (love), meaning many loves.

"To be honest, Camille and I are thinking of experimenting with being polyamorous."

QUEER

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: KWEER

The word has been reclaimed by those communities as a positive term. 'Queer' is often treated as the 'umbrella' term under which gay men, pansexual non-binary persons, and people experimenting with their sexuality can come together under. It's a term of solidarity to foster community between sexuality-and-gender-diverse persons. Queer is one of the more amorphous terms on this list, and is used by queer persons to describe themselves. So what does it mean? Basically, 'not straight', in any flavor you like, and usually with a slightly more radical edge.

Etymology: Originally meaning 'strange', 'queer' was used for years as a slur against non-normative sexualities.

"Not gay as in happy, but queer as in 'screw off.'"

REDPILL

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: RED-pill

If you decide, once and for all, that women are bad and society is set up in such a way to privilege them over men at every turn, you're completely off your rocker but you've also had a redpill moment. You'll probably want to head to Reddit and swap stories with other incels and MGTOWs about how women are ruining your lives.

Etymology: Redpilling is named for the scene in The Matrix when Morpheus offers Neo the choice between taking a red pill and a blue pill with the red one representing the horrifying truth and the blue, blissful ignorance.

"Yeah, my brother totally got redpilled in his first year at college. Yikes."

ROACHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: ROW-ching

Roaching is a new dating trend where people hide the fact that they're dating around from a new partner and, when confronted, claim to have simply been under the assumption that there was no implication of monogamy to begin with. In today's more poly-friendly dating culture, this is a slick tactic to shift the blame to the person confronting them, but the truth is it's both parties' responsibility to be at least baseline open about seeing other people if that's the case. Roaching, as a result, deeply messed up.

Etymology: Roaching refers to the adage that if you see one cockroach, there are a ton more that you don't see just like this person's sneaky side-dealings.

"So it turned out he'd been seeing like, six other girls the whole time!" "Damn, Tina. You got roached."

SAPIOSEXUAL

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SAY-pee-oh-SEK-shoo-ull

Perhaps most infamous for the time Tinder CEO Sean Rad confused it with the word "sodomy," sapiosexual is a word that's gained increasing currency in recent years. Meaning someone who's turned on by a person's mind rather than physical appearance, it's a neat marriage of style and substance, as only huge nerds would dare self-identify as sapiosexuals. Not to be confused with any of the other sexualities, this isn't a clinical definition of an innate quality, merely a descriptor meant to state a preference.

Etymology: The "sapio" part comes from the Latin word "sapiens," which means "mind."

"What really entices me about a woman... is her mind. Yes, you could call me a sapiosexual."

SEVERAL-NIGHT STAND

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SEV-rull NITE STAND

If the one-night stand was a product of the 20th century's loosening sexual mores, the several-night stand is a distinctly 21st-century invention. For people who care about someone else enough to sleep with them multiple times but not enough to take it past that, it's an arrangement that necessitates the hyper-connectedness and smorgasbrd of choice that our phones now offer us. Your drunken hookup is just a text away; but exclusivity seems foolish when your next drunken hookup might also be just a text away.

"Well, we kept on texting each other 'u up' every evening and it basically turned into a several-night stand."

SEX INTERVIEW

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SECKS INN-tur-vyou

Have you ever had sex with someone before going on a real date with them? Then you've engaged in a sex interview, my friend! Sex researchers (yes, that's a real job) coined the term in 2015 to describe the practice, which is increasingly popular among millennials who are less shy about sex and more interested in weeding out incompatible lovers than so-so conversationalists. If you have high standards for sex, it makes a lot of sense the possibility of developing real intimacy and chemistry with someone only to discover you're nothing alike in bed is a real turn-off of its own.

"So what's the deal with you and Brandon? Is that happening?" "Nah. He's still messaging me, but to be honest, he failed his sex interview."

SITUATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SIT-chew-AY-shun-ship

In use on Black Twitter since at least 2014, a "situationship" is Facebook's "It's Complicated" relationship status come to life. Similar to a casual relationship, a situationship is a sexual relationship that stops short of constituting a serious relationship, but it's not nothing either.

Etymology: It's not a friendship, or a relationship, but something in between: it's a situationship.

"So what's the deal with you and Molly now? Are you together?" "I don't know, man. It's a situationship."

SLOW FADE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: SLOW fade

The slow fade is the process of ending a lackluster relationship or fling by gradually reducing contact and response times. Like a smoother version of breadcrumbing, the person doing the fading will taper off contact, like gradually turning down the volume on a song and starting a new one without anyone noticing.

Etymology: Similar to breadcrumbing, the slow fade is letting someone down gently without actually saying so.

"I want to end things with Lee, but I can't stand the idea of hurting him. I think I'm gonna do the slow fade."

SNACK

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SNAK

A snack is a babe, a honey, a stunner, a smokeshow, a jaw-dropping vision. A snack inspires DM slides and thirsty texts. A snack is a powerful force in the universe whose mere presence can cause those in proximity to them to lose their minds entirely. In short, a snack is someone so attractive, you almost want to eat them right up. Of course, some snacks are SO attractive, you have to call them a full meal. Because let's be real, Beyonc is more than a handful of tortilla chips.

"God damn, did you see that babe who just walked by?" "Yeah, man, that girl was a snack!"

STASHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: STA-shing

"Stashing" is when a person won't introduce the person they're seeing to anyone in their lives, and doesn't mention their existence on social media. The "stashed" partner is kept hidden from view and stashing is a classic move of the commitment-averse.

Etymology: Stashing a partner is hiding them away from public view, like a squirrel stashing nuts in a tree.

"Maria won't introduce me to any of her friends or family. I think I'm being stashed."

STEALTHING

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: STELL-thing

With all the cute names, it's easy to forget sometimes that not all dating trends are created equal. Take stealthing, for example, which is just a form of sexual assault. Named for when guys surreptitiously remove a condom mid-sexual act, enabling them to finish the deed unprotected, stealthing is a horrifying reminder that consent and sexual health education are woefully lacking in modern society.

Etymology:Stealthing is necessarily a sneaky move, since it involvesremoving the condom and keeping it a secret.

"When we started, he was wearing a condom, but halfway through I realized he wasn't!" "Oh my God, he stealthed you?

STRAIGHT

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: STRATE

Straight persons are attracted to, date, or have sex with only members of the 'opposite' gender. Some people might have crushes on the same gender as themselves, but never follow through, and still identify as straight. Sexuality is wild, man!

Etymology: Straight means heterosexual, mostly.

"I'm flattered you'd think to ask me out, Zander, but I'm straight."

SUBMARINING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: sub-muh-REE-ning

Did you just get haunted, or zombied, but it felt even worse than usual? Maybe you were submarined! Submarining is when your old flame pops back up in your life after a lengthy period of silence, but rather than copping to the disappearance, simply acts as if dipping without warning is normal behavior. This person knows they have you wrapped around their finger, so why put in the effort to apologize or explain? They don't need to! If you're getting submarined, pro tip: Get out of there before the whole thing sinks.

Etymology: Submarines go underwater... and the occasionally pop back up to the surface! That's normal behavior for them.

"So after disappearing for two months, she just pops right back up!" "Damn... she submarined you!

SUMMER FLING

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SUM-mer FLING

The counterpart to cuffing season, summer flings are casual relationships that end once the leaves start to turn brown again. Summer flings often start on vacations and end when the other person has to go home, and tend to be of the "short and sweet" variety.

Etymology: This one's not rocket science: a summer fling is a short, informal relationship over the warmer months.

"I had such a good time with Nicole in Cabo but it was definitely just a summer fling."

SWINGER

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SWING-ur

The de facto term for consensually sleeping with someone outside of your marriage while your partner does the same, swinging has lost some cultural currency in recent years as millennials opt for the "poly" lifestyle instead. Still, swinging is alive and well for Gen Xers taking advantage of increasingly liberal sexual mores as society shifts slowly away from the restrictive confines of absolute monogamy and towards something a little bit more flexible.

Etymology: Swingers are people who 'swing' from one sexual partnership (their spouse) to another.

"Yeah, this married couple asked us if we wanted to come to a swingers party with them."'

SWIPING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: SWHY-ping

Swiping, swiping, swiping. For some singles, it might be difficult to conceive of any other way, but it's worth remembering that swiping didn't even really exist before 2012. Unless you've been living under a rock (and if so: congratulations, you lucky duck), you'll know that swiping is the physical interaction you have with your phone (a single finger moves intentionally across a thin piece of glass covering an electronic brain) when deciding whether you're attracted to someone's profile picture or not. From Tinder it spread to Bumble and a few thousand copycat apps. It'll be replaced eventually, but until then, swiping is how we as a culture perform love or at least our aspirations thereto.

"No plans tonight... I'm just going to stay home, re-download Tinder and swipe myself silly."

TEXTLATIONSHIP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: text-LAY-shun-ship

A textlationship is a flirtatious connection between two people that works on paper but never seems to manifest itself in practice. For whatever reason, the chemistry between two people is just better over texts. It could mean one of the two is playing the other just for the attention, rather than both parties being shy or awkward. Regardless, if the passion is there in the texts but never translates to the streets or the sheets, its a textlationship.

Etymology: A combination of text and relationship.

"Shes always texting me but never wants to actually go on a date or hook up. Honestly, we might just be in a textlationship."

THIRST TRAP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: THURST trap

In the natural world, spiders have webs, and millennials have thirst traps. They're intentionally sexually provocative pictures posted on social media in order to ensnare hapless scrollers-by. Often, such pictures will draw way more likes than their typical posts, as thirsty people rush to offer their likes as sacrifices to an uncaring god. These can be a great ego boost for the thirst trapper, but the high tends not to last. Then you're back on the timeline, thirst trapping again for your next fix.

Etymology: Thirst is desire, sexual or romantic, that tends to be unreturned; a trap is how you catch unsuspecting victims.

"Damn, did you see Sheila's selfie last night? That outfit was wild!" "Yep, that was a real thirst trap."

THRONING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: thr-OWN-ing

Throning is essentially another form of gold digging that extends beyond wealth. It involves someone using another person for their power and social status, and it's most common when one person in the relationship has significantly less money or influence than their counterpart.

Etymology: When you think of a throne, you think of a crown. That person doing the throning wants that crown.

"Every time we cross that rope, we get inside and suddenly it's like I'm not even there. I feel like I'm just being throned."

TINDSTAGRAMMING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: TIND-stuh-gram-ming

Tindstagramming is the process of contacting someone through Instagram's direct messaging feature after you have seen them on Tinder but not become a match. It's an annoying and generally poorly-received way of bypassing a left-swipe, and women in particular get fatigued by the messages that pile up in their "Other" folder when they link their Instagram account to their Tinder profile.

Etymology: A mashup of "Tinder" and "Instagramming," Tindstagrammers try to make the most of both platforms.

"I have 10 new messages in my Other folder on Instagram! These Tindstagrammers won't leave me alone."

TRANSGENDER

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: trans-JEN-der

At birth, (even before, if you've ever been to a gender reveal party), pretty much all of us are assigned a gender, whether by our doctor, our parents, or society. Transgender or trans persons are those whose actual gender is different from the one they were assigned. Some trans people undergo surgery or take hormones to have their sex characteristics better match their gender, but not everyone does! Transgender, or trans, like queer is often an umbrella for those with diverse genders.

Etymology: Trans-, meaning across or beyond, plus gender

"So I hear Paul's cousin is transgendered now." "Actually, she's just transgender no 'ed' necessary!"

TURKEY DUMP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: TUR-key DUMP

Another seasonal relationship event, turkey dumping is common among college students, many of whom are in long distance relationships with people they knew in high school or from their home towns. The turkey dump happens after one person in the relationship returns back to college after Thanksgiving and realises it's too difficult to keep things going.

Etymology: So-named because it's a breakup that occurs after the Thanksgiving break.

"I had such a good time with Jake while he was home for Thanksgiving, but he broke up with me as soon as he got back to campus. I got turkey dumped."

UNCUFFING SEASON

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: un-CUFF-ing SEE-sun

What sets cuffing season relationships apart from real relationships is the possibility that they came together at a specific time for a specific reason. You could link up with someone in the fall, because as it gets cold, you want something steady and dependable so you arent chasing a bunch of different people all winter. As a corollary, once those conditions fall away, it makes sense that the relationships would, too. The springtime can be considered uncuffing season because its the time for people to break things off with a semi-serious cuff and venture out into a sexy and flirtatious summer.

Etymology: A variant on cuffing season.

"Man, how many couples have broken up in the past few weeks? Is it uncuffing season already?"

VULTURING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: vul-CHUR-ing

Vultures can sense when a relationship is on its last leg. Their moves are selfish, and typically, they're going to do whatever they deem necessary to get what they want: you. Sure, having a bit of hope that your longtime crush will split from their wretched partner and fall for you might not be considered vulturing per se, but taking advantage of. someone in an incredibly weak and vulnerable state? That's a whole other story.

Etymology: Just like a vulture circling its wounded prey, some people swoop in to pick up the pieces out when they sense a relationship is on its last leg.

"Stop vulturing, it's just a rough patch. They'll get through it!"

WATER DROPLETS EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: WAH-turr DROP-lits ee-MO-ji

After the eggplant emoji, the water droplets emoji might be the horniest one out there. One notable benefit is that its unisex. Depending on who you are and who youre messaging, the droplets could be semen, female lubrication/ejaculate, or a bit of the comparatively tame (and universal) sex sweat. Regardless, throwing a couple of these into a naughty text message is a good way to visually convey the activities to come if you will.

Etymology: Anyone whos ever made a mess with their sexual fluids will understand.

Cant wait for later tonight. Im gonna make you water droplets emoji all over the place.

ZOMBIEING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: zom-BEE-ing

This is ghosting to. the next level. After losing touch with someone who you'd been talking or seeing, zombieing is when they make a triumphant return as if nothing ever happened.Your zombie may get in touch with you via DM, text or by seeking you out in person. Hearing from someone who totally dipped out on you can bring up some conflicting feelings, but if youre looking for a positive, the situation does have the potential to offer some clarity or closure.

Etymology:A zombie is an undead person coming back from the grave. Need we say more here?

3 months of radio silence after we texted every single day. I can't believe he's zombieing me ... should I answer?

All illustrations by Graeme Adams.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/your-comprehensive-guide-to-online-dating-slang

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davidrsmithlove · 5 years

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11 Proven Tips on How to Use Reddit for Your eCommerce Business

Before getting to the meat, let us just make a quick recap.

Reddit 101

In essence, it’s a mega discussion board. As many as 330 million unique users spend their time on this 5th largest US website (and 18th larges when talking worldwide).

Reddit is divided into tens of thousands of so-called “subreddits” which is a local term for a specific topic thread. Moreover, all users who rpartake in the discussion can personally receive either an appraisal or disapproval from peer Reddit patrons via score system called “karma.”

Karma is gained and lost when people upvote or downvote your posts, comments and when you engage in other onsite activity (like reposting). It could’ve remained a simple medal system if sometimes it wasn’t required to get into some subreddits (a sort of an entry barrier). Certain types of activity like making your posts with pictures or leaving comments in those subreddits also might have various krama requirements. Naturally, low karma of user’s post may be hidden from other users, which is the main defense mechanism against bots, local spammers and general bad-manner users.

Although using anonymous aliases on Reddit is a common thing (and is expected), these accounts each have a traceable history of posts and replies in addition to gained “karma.” Thus it is super-easy for any reader to assess the general usefulness, sincerity, and attitude of the writer for a preliminary decision of whether to trust what he/she posts. The importance of this transparency for e-commerce marketing on Reddit will be discussed a bit further.

Upon a glimpse of a Reddit from the marketing perspective, two things should immediately come to one’s attention.

One is that this website is in English and US users account for over 50%. Which kind of limits the use of this website for e-commerce of goods that either

Can be delivered online or

Can be physically brought to the US soil at a reasonable price (and with easy logistics for the buyer)

Two is that Reddit is above all else a place where people come the exchange thoughts and ideas on mutual subjects of interest. Not to scroll the fancy pictures like in Instagram or get up to date with the news like in Facebook. Reddit boasts a higher than most websites readers to active commenters ratio (these readers are also called “lurkers”). This is important because not everything an e-commerce website has to offer is in fact worthy of being put to public discussion. The goods that are too specialized (e.g. some industrial tunneling equipment) will thus require copious amount of “knowledge seeding” and attracting rare individuals who are familiar with the subject before anything can be offered for sale. And the goods/ services that are too easy to come buy (like an Alibaba dropshipper) will need some god-like marketing skills for hype generation and building up of anxiety before trying to offer something (without risking your karma). But let us assume that your product (or service) meets the above criteria and you are good to go for the Redditors!

The need for naturally growing one’s credibility in the eyes of Reddit patrons can sometimes be too much for a regular business owner or a marketing manager, even if he/ she did well with other means of social marketing like Instagram. This is why there are a few essay writing service who are experienced at keeping close contact with the Reddit public. These people know how to keep Redditors entertained and sell stuff to them at the same time. But if you feel you are up to the challenge of winning hearts and minds on your own, proceed to the tips’ list below!

Obvious marketing

1. Sponsored posts

Just like it says on the box: Reddit allows you to engage in paid marketing. Reddit payment system Your ad copy can either be “text ad” or “link ad.” Whichever you pick, it will get displayed for a respective target audience and marked as sponsored.

People who’ve dealt with Facebook or Google paid ads before will find the interface quite familiar. The following settings are available to pin-point you desired audience:

Target users by their interests (keywords and negative keywords)

Choose specific subreddit they subscribe to

Location

Day and time

Device type (mobile or desktop)

All ads are displayed on an auction-based system (you need to set up daily bid starting from $5/day) and CPM (1000 impressions) is the only type of payment available on this platform.

This kind of marketing is treated by Reddit communities pretty much like any other online ads which try to look like regular messages: if your ad copy conveys clear message and is highly relevant to the selected audience you will get some interest. The difference lies in karma score of the account who posts the ads, as accounts with more karma are usually treated by patrons as certainly more worthy of attention.

2. Banner Ads

You will find no self-service banner ads option on Reddit. Don’t bother looking for one. The only viable way to get your banners to be shown on Reddit is direct negotiations with the portal. Which is typically honored from a large and well-established business. So unless it say “Google” on your office, you’d best move to ninja marketing section.

Here Comes The Meat! Ninja Marketing On Reddit

3. Reddit hates spammers and promoters

Simply jumping into a subreddit topic closest to what you want to sell and offer your product or service there is a “highway to hell” with Reddit audience. Believe it or not – you are likely not to be the first person to try and push your goods forward here. And must Reddit patrons are smart enough to see that intention. In addition, unlike Instagram of YouTube Reddit offers them an instrument to quickly downvote your annoying advertising to the point of utter demise.

To be effective with your business on Reddit you should first understand the culture of this community and how to get your point (non-commercial and commercial) through in a most effective manner. There are different posts as well, and you should be prepared nor only for discussion, but for writing a long story to share your experience. You may are thinking right now, that I need someone to write my essay for posting on Reddit, and surely that can be a solution for creating a large number of long read comments. Above all else, you will have to truly and honestly commit yourself to some time of building up your Reddit account image and growing your karma before effectively offering people anything. So think ninja.

4. Where does your audience reside? Do your homework.

To engage efficiently in the ninja advertising on Reddit, you will need first to do some preliminary research. Find out what subreddits (topic threads) address the issues that are in your (and your product’s) subject field. Are you in car repairs? Search car maintenance audience. Are you a massage therapist? Dig into sports or back pain discussions.

See how many people are partaking and what kind of info is most praised by local subreddit audience.

5. Be proactive and build up your karma and professional image

Once you’re done with the research and successfully found your potential customers, you should start working on the rename of your account. Do actively engage in discussion. Answer questions and comment where appropriate. Be polite and be helpful. Bring value to the table. Over time (and sometimes with sufficient karma gain) your contributions will get noted, and your advice on the subject X will start to be recognised as an expert by the community.

Only after this you should attempt to openly offer of a product or service and expect in to be met with enthusiasm and eager by Reddit patrons.

Why bother that much at all you might as at this point? Well, there is a good reason. Reddit is in fact great fo e-commerce shops as it allows you to address very specific needs of customers who you just can’t target effectively by any other means. And should you meet their expectations both with a word of advise and a quality product you are likely to get more devoted and trusting long-term customers than anywhere else on the Internet. This holds true to both paid and ninja advertising: the more renown you are amongst Reddi public the more trustworthy your ads will be, regardless if you pay Reddit for it ot not.

6. Ask questions and study your customers

Now, this is the real meat. As Reddit tends to attract a more proactive audience in general (more so than the Facebook or Instagram) you will find some strong and well-grounded opinions here on a wide area of subjects. If so – why now use this feature and ask the people very specific and important questions:

What do they think of your product?

How do they like the new design?

Can we improve it somehow?

What about marketing?

Was our customer service helpful?

Being open and actively engaging your customers in such Q&A activities might help you with some surprisingly deep understanding as to how to make/ sell your goods better. Good advice would be to remain initiative and open a classical AMA (Ask Me Anything) session with your potential customers. Also, remember that whenever a person makes a buying decision, he or she is far more likely to address the salesman they know in person (even in it’s on the account name) than a totally strange shop offering of the same stuff. So treat this not only as research but as an extra marketing effort which may yield grade results by itself.

7. Exclusive discounts and offers

When you do decide it’s time to engage your fellow Reddit audience with some selling materials – you may take it a step further. Offer the unique discount right there in the thread. Alternatively, run a lottery for the first five buyers to get some valuable little extra from you. Redditors, after all, are a somewhat unique gang. So why not reward them with a little extra for their trust in you and your product?

8. Keep sticky contact with your customers

Another diamond opportunity Reddit offer to an e-commerce business is that it’s a much more two-way marketing channel than your usual social media with ads due to the nature of the community. It makes a perfect ground for troubleshooting and Q&A sessions with your customers. By no means, you should use it as the only customer service contact point, but rather as a place where you and your customers can get more intimate discussion and create that extra goodwill.

How should you go about it? Make sure you are there when somebody has purchased your good or service. Be bold and ask them if they found their purchase and usage experience satisfying? Did they like it? Did they encounter any trouble when buying or using it? Whom would they recommend it to? Etc.

Do so and not only you will gain respect (and more karma) from fellow Reddit users and those who will find this thread in future.

9. Go for the fans and enthusiasts

While not an all-around advice, if you are into merchandising or a subculture tailored product – go for the fans. This range greatly from Star Trek fans to young mothers. From Linux users to vegans. And many are found on Reddit.

These people would certainly sniff out a bold promoter from a mile (and demise their karma respectively). But if you do give yourself labour to study their subreddits, their culture and values, if you take a genuine interest in the community and to partake in talks and making valuable content… You will surely get praised for offering and selling them something relevant to their passion later on.

10. Keep an eye for market trends

This idea is somewhat similar to point 4, but the results can be used regardless of whether you are about to start ninja marketing on Reddit or not.

All you need is to define the existing subreddits which get visited by your potential customers and scrutiny them carefully. Moreover, if there is not one – than that is also an indication for you.

This tip arguably requires the least effort on your behalf: just gain enough karma to enter the subreddit in question (if it has a karma entry barrier at all) and that’s it. Once you do get inside and you see a living and vivid community – start gathering intelligence for your e-commerce business. Read on what’s hot right now. What are Redditors talking about the most (apart from kittens or sex that is; nothing beats kittens on Reddit). Learn of your potential customers’ pain and how they go about it. Assess your rival by how often they get mentioned and what the patrons find good and bad about them.

While not selling or promoting your product directly, you may still gather a great deal of info about your market niche and make sure that your respective product is up to the mark.

11. Talk with other small-business owners

Would you sell your product to the people whom you find in small business owners subreddits? Probably not. So why is this a tip #11? Well, it because this is how you can get some seriously deep and free advice on things that bother you as a business owner:

How to sell more?

How to keep positive contact with your customers?

How to keep the work-life balance in December?

etc.

Reddit is there to help people get in touch, discuss and solve their problems. And rest assured that there were others before you at some point in their business careers who faced and successfully surpassed what you are facing now. Have the courage to step forward and ask their advice or help. And again you may well be surprised by the hidden power of Reddit. And its fellow patron Redditors.

Get a Free Consultation

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iyarpage · 6 years

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In-App Purchase Tutorial: Getting Started

Update note: Pietro Rea updated this tutorial for Xcode 10, Swift 4.2 and iOS 11/12. Ray Wenderlich wrote the original.

Get started with in-app purchases to grow app revenue!

One of the great things about building iOS apps is that you have lots of choices when it comes to monetizing your app: plain vanilla paid apps, free apps supported by ads, or even apps that support in-app purchases.

An in-app purchase (or IAP) allows developers to charge users for specific functionality or content while using an app. Implementing IAPs is particularly compelling for several reasons:

It’s an extra way to earn money, in addition to simply selling the app for a fee upfront. Some users are willing to spend a lot more on extra content or features.

An app can be offered for free, which makes it a no-brainer download for most people. Free apps will typically get many more downloads than paid apps. If users enjoy the app, then they can purchase more content or functionality later.

You can display advertisements to the user in a free app with an option to remove them by purchasing an IAP.

Following the initial release of an app, new paid content can be added to the same app instead of having to develop a brand new app to earn more money.

In this in-app purchase tutorial, you’ll leverage IAPs to unlock extra content embedded in an app. You’ll need to be familiar with basic Swift and iOS programming concepts. If these are unfamiliar topics, then check out our range of Swift tutorials before getting started. You’ll also need a paid developer account, with access to both the iOS Developer Center and App Store Connect.

Getting Started

In this in-app purchase tutorial, you’ll build a small app called “RazeFaces”, which allows users to buy a “RazeFace”, which is a neat illustration commonly used on this site for books and videos.

A typical “RazeFace”

Download the materials using the link at the top and open the starter project in Xcode. Build and run to see what it does so far. The answer is: Not a lot! You’ll see an empty table view, with a single Restore button in the navigation bar, which will be hooked up later to restore purchases.

Upon finishing this tutorial, there will be a list of RazeFaces listed in the table view which you’ll be able to buy. If you delete and reinstall the app, the Restore button will reinstate any previously purchased RazeFaces.

Head over to Xcode to take a quick look at the code. The main view controller is in MasterViewController.swift. This class displays the table view which will contain a list of available IAPs. Purchases are stored as an array of SKProduct objects.

Notice that MasterViewController is using an object called RazeFaceProducts.store of type IAPHelper to do the heavy lifting. Take a look at their respective code files, RazeFaceProducts.swift and IAPHelper.swift.

RazeFaceProducts is a simple struct that contains some information about the products in the app, and IAPHelper does all the important work of talking to StoreKit. The methods are all stubbed out at the moment, but you’ll fill them out in this tutorial to add IAP functionality to the app.

Before writing any code to incorporate IAP, you’ll first need to do some setup in the iOS Developer Center and App Store Connect.

Creating an App ID

First, you need to create an App ID. This will link together your app to your in-app purchaseable products. Login to the Apple Developer Center, then select Certificates, IDs & Profiles.

Next, select Identifiers > App IDs, and click + in the upper right corner to create a new App ID.

Fill out the information for the new App ID. Enter RazeFace IAP Tutorial App for the Name. Choose Explicit App ID and enter a unique Bundle ID. A common practice is to use your domain name in reverse (for example, com.razeware.razefaces). Make note of the Bundle ID as it will be needed in the steps that follow.

Scroll down to the App Services section. Notice that In-App Purchase and GameCenter are enabled by default. Click Continue and then Register and Done.

Congratulations! You have a new App ID! Next, you’ll create a matching app in App Store Connect.

Checking Your Agreements

Before you can add IAPs to an app in iTunes Connect, you must do two things:

Make sure you have accepted the latest Apple Development Program License Agreement on developer.apple.com.

Make sure you have accepted the latest Paid Applications agreement in the Agreements, Tax, and Billing section in App Store Connect.

If you have not done this, usually iTunes Connect will give you a warning like the following:

If you see something like the above, follow the steps to accept the appropriate agreements.

It’s also good to double check the Agreements, Tax, and Banking section in iTunes Connect:

If you see a section entitled Request Contracts containing a row for Paid Applications, then click the Request button. Fill out all the necessary information and submit it. It may take some time for your request to be approved. Sit tight!

Otherwise, if you see Paid Applications listed under Contracts In Effect, then it looks like you’ve already done this step! Nice job!

Note: Apple can take days to approve these IAP-related agreements after you submit them. During this time, you won’t be able to display IAP products in your apps even if you implement everything correctly in code. This is a common source of frustration for folks implementing In-App Purchases for the first time. Hang in there!

Creating an App in iTunes Connect

Now to create the app record itself, click App Store Connect in the upper left corner of the page, then click My Apps.

Next, click + in the upper left corner of the page and select New App to add a new app record. Fill out the information as shown here:

You won’t be able to use the exact same app Name that you see here, because app names need to be unique across the App Store. Perhaps add your own initials after the example title shown in the screenshot above.

Note: If you are quick in getting to this step, the Bundle ID might not be showing up in the dropdown list. This sometimes takes a while to propagate through Apple’s systems.

Click Create and you’re done!

Creating In-App Purchase Products

When offering IAPs you must first add an entry for each individual purchase within App Store Connect. If you’ve ever listed an app for sale in the store, it’s a similar process and includes things like choosing a pricing tier for the purchase. When the user makes a purchase, the App Store handles the complex process of charging the user and reply with data about such operation.

There are a whole bunch of different types of IAP you can add:

Consumable: These can be bought more than once and can be used up. These are a good fit for extra lives, in-game currency, temporary power-ups, and the like.

Non-Consumable: Something that you buy once, and expect to have permanently such as extra levels and unlockable content. The RazeFace illustrations from this tutorial fall into this category.

Non-Renewing Subscription: Content that’s available for a fixed period of time.

Auto-Renewing Subscription: A repeating subscription such as a monthly raywenderlich.com subscription.

You can only offer In-App Purchases for digital items, and not for physical goods or services. For more information about all of this, check out Apple’s full documentation on Creating In-App Purchase Products.

Now, while viewing your app’s entry in App Store Connect, click on the Features tab and then select In-App Purchases. To add a new IAP product, click the + to the right of In-App Purchases.

You’ll see the following dialog appear:

When a user purchases a RazeFace in your app, you’ll want them to always have access to it, so select Non-Consumable, and click Create.

Next, fill out the details for the IAP as follows:

Reference Name: A nickname identifying the IAP within iTunes Connect. This name does not appear anywhere in the app. The title of the RazeFace you’ll be unlocking with this purchase is Swift Shopping, so enter that here.

Product ID: This is a unique string identifying the IAP. Usually it’s best to start with the Bundle ID and then append a unique name specific to this purchasable item. For this tutorial, make sure you append swiftshopping, as this will be used later within the app to look up the RazeFace to unlock. For example, you can use: com.theNameYouPickedEarlier.razefaces.swiftshopping.

Cleared for Sale: Enables or disables the sale of the IAP. You want to enable it!

Price Tier: The cost of the IAP. Choose Tier 1.

Now scroll down to the Localizations section and note that there is a default entry for English (U.S.). Enter “Swift Shopping” for both the Display Name and the Description. Click Save. Great! You’ve created your first IAP product.

Note: App Store Connect may complain that you’re missing metadata for your IAP. Before you submit your app for review, you’re required to add a screenshot of the IAP at the bottom of this page. The screenshot is used only for Apple’s review and does not appear in your App Store listing.

There’s one more step required before you can delve into some code. When testing in-app purchases in a development build of an app, Apple provides a test environment which allows you to “purchase” your IAP products without creating financial transactions.

These special test purchases can only be made by a special “Sandbox Tester” user account in App Store Connect. You’re almost at the code, I promise!

Creating a Sandbox User

In App Store Connect, click App Store Connect in the top left corner of the window to get back to the main menu. Select Users and Roles, then click the Sandbox Testers tab. Click + next to the “Tester” title.

Fill out the information and click Save when you’re done. You can make up a first and last name for your test user, but you must use a real email address as Apple will send a verification email to the address. Once you receive that email, be sure to click the link in it to verify your address.

The email address you enter should also NOT already be associated with an Apple ID account. Hint: if you have a gmail account, you can simply use an address alias instead of having to create a brand new account.

Note: Unfortunately, testing a new purchase of a non-consumable IAP requires a new sandbox tester (and email address) each time. Repeated purchases using the same sandbox tester will be treated as restoring an already purchased item, so any code specific to new purchases will not be exercised.

If multiple test runs through new purchase code are necessary and your email provider does not support qualifiers, then consider setting up a consumable IAP just for testing purposes. Delete the app on your device after each test and the purchase of a consumable IAP will be considered a new purchase.

One strategy you could adopt is testing the failure cases as many times as possible before testing the successful case. That way you’ll need to create fewer sandbox testers. In general, remember the rule that once a user (even a sandbox one) has bought a non-consumable IAP, he can’t buy it again, only restore it.

Great — you now have a test user. You can finally implement IAPs in your app!

Project Configuration

For everything to work correctly, it’s really important that the bundle identifier and product identifiers in the app match the ones you just created in the Developer Center and in App Store Connect.

Head over to the starter project in Xcode. Select the RazeFaces project in the Project navigator, then select it again under Targets. Select the General tab, switch your Team to your correct team, and enter the bundle ID you used earlier.

Next select the Capabilities tab. Scroll down to In-App Purchase and toggle the switch to ON.

Note: If IAP does not show up in the list, make sure that, in the Accounts section of Xcode preferences, you are logged in with the Apple ID you used to create the app ID.

Open RazeFaceProducts.swift. Notice that there is a placeholder reference to the IAP product you created: SwiftShopping. Replace this with the full Product ID that you configured in App Store Connect — for example:

public static let SwiftShopping = "com.theNameYouPickedEarlier.razefaces.swiftshopping"

Note: The list of product identifiers can be pulled from a web server so new IAPs can be added dynamically rather than requiring an app update. This tutorial keeps things simple and uses hard-coded product identifiers.

Listing In-App Purchases

The store property of RazeFaceProducts is an instance of IAPHelper. As mentioned earlier, this object interacts with the StoreKit API to list and perform purchases. Your first task is to update IAPHelper to retrieve a list of IAPs — there’s only one so far — from Apple’s servers.

Open IAPHelper.swift. At the top of the class, add the following private property:

private let productIdentifiers: Set<ProductIdentifier>

Next, add the following to init(productIds:) before the call to super.init():

productIdentifiers = productIds

An IAPHelper instance is created by passing in a set of product identifiers. This is how RazeFaceProducts creates its store instance.

Next, add these other private properties just under the one you added a moment ago:

private var purchasedProductIdentifiers: Set<ProductIdentifier> = [] private var productsRequest: SKProductsRequest? private var productsRequestCompletionHandler: ProductsRequestCompletionHandler?

purchasedProductIdentifiers tracks which items have been purchased. The other two properties are used by the SKProductsRequest delegate to perform requests to Apple servers.

Next, still in IAPHelper.swift replace the implementation of requestProducts(_:) with the following:

public func requestProducts(completionHandler: @escaping ProductsRequestCompletionHandler) { productsRequest?.cancel() productsRequestCompletionHandler = completionHandler productsRequest = SKProductsRequest(productIdentifiers: productIdentifiers) productsRequest!.delegate = self productsRequest!.start() }

This code saves the user’s completion handler for future execution. It then creates and initiates a request to Apple via an SKProductsRequest object. There’s one problem: the code declares IAPHelper as the request’s delegate, but it doesn’t yet conform to the SKProductsRequestDelegate protocol.

To fix this, add the following extension to the very end of IAPHelper.swift, after the last curly brace:

// MARK: - SKProductsRequestDelegate extension IAPHelper: SKProductsRequestDelegate { public func productsRequest(_ request: SKProductsRequest, didReceive response: SKProductsResponse) { print("Loaded list of products...") let products = response.products productsRequestCompletionHandler?(true, products) clearRequestAndHandler() for p in products { print("Found product: \(p.productIdentifier) \(p.localizedTitle) \(p.price.floatValue)") } } public func request(_ request: SKRequest, didFailWithError error: Error) { print("Failed to load list of products.") print("Error: \(error.localizedDescription)") productsRequestCompletionHandler?(false, nil) clearRequestAndHandler() } private func clearRequestAndHandler() { productsRequest = nil productsRequestCompletionHandler = nil } }

This extension is used to get a list of products, their titles, descriptions and prices from Apple’s servers by implementing the two methods required by the SKProductsRequestDelegate protocol.

productsRequest(_:didReceive:) is called when the list is succesfully retrieved. It receives an array of SKProduct objects and passes them to the previously saved completion handler. The handler reloads the table with new data. If a problem occurs, request(_:didFailWithError:) is called. In either case, when the request finishes, both the request and completion handler are cleared with clearRequestAndHandler().

Build and run. Hooray! A list of products (only one so far) is displayed in the table view! It took some work, but you got there in the end.

Note: You can display IAP products on both the iOS simulator as well as physical iOS devices, but if you want to test buying or restoring purchases, you can only do this on physical devices. More on this in the purchasing section below.

Note: If the run was unsuccessful and you didn’t see any products, then there are a number of things to check. This list is courtesy of itsme.manish and abgtan from the forums on earlier versions of this post, plus more tips added over time.

Does the project’s Bundle ID match the App ID from the iOS Development Center?

Is the full product ID being used when making an SKProductRequest? (Check the productIdentifiers property of RazeFaceProducts.)

Is the Paid Applications Contract in effect on iTunes Connect? It can take hours to days for them to go from pending to accepted from them moment you submit them.

Have you waited several hours since adding your product to App Store Connect? Product additions may be active immediately or may take some time.

Check Apple Developer System Status. Alternatively, try this link. If it doesn’t respond with a status value, then the iTunes sandbox may be down. The status codes are explained in Apple’s Validating Receipts With the App Store documentation.

Have IAPs been enabled for the App ID? (Did you select Cleared for Sale earlier?)

Have you tried deleting the app from your device and reinstalling it?

Still stuck? As you can see, there’s a lot of setting up to do for IAP. Try this tutorial’s comments for a discussion with other readers.

Purchased Items

You want to be able to determine which items are already purchased. To do this, you’ll use the purchasedProductIdentifiers property added earlier. If a product identifier is contained in this set, the user has purchased the item. The method for checking this is straightforward.

In IAPHelper.swift, replace the return statement in isProductPurchased(_:) with the following:

return purchasedProductIdentifiers.contains(productIdentifier)

Saving purchase status locally alleviates the need to request such data to Apple’s servers every time the app starts. purchasedProductIdentifiers are saved using UserDefaults.

Still in IAPHelper.swift, replace init(productIds:) with the following:

public init(productIds: Set<ProductIdentifier>) { productIdentifiers = productIds for productIdentifier in productIds { let purchased = UserDefaults.standard.bool(forKey: productIdentifier) if purchased { purchasedProductIdentifiers.insert(productIdentifier) print("Previously purchased: \(productIdentifier)") } else { print("Not purchased: \(productIdentifier)") } } super.init() }

For each product identifier, you check whether the value is stored in UserDefaults. If it is, then the identifier is inserted into the purchasedProductIdentifiers set. Later, you’ll add an identifier to the set following a purchase.

Note: User defaults may not be the best place to store information about purchased products in a real application. An owner of a jailbroken device could easily access your app’s UserDefaults plist, and modify it to ‘unlock’ purchases. If this sort of thing concerns you, then it’s worth checking out Apple’s documentation on Validating App Store Receipts — this allows you to verify that a user has made a particular purchase.

Making Purchases (Show Me The Money!)

Knowing what a user has purchased is great, but you still need to be able to make the purchases in the first place! Implementing purchase capability is the logical next step.

Still in IAPHelper.swift, replace buyProduct(_:) with the following:

public func buyProduct(_ product: SKProduct) { print("Buying \(product.productIdentifier)...") let payment = SKPayment(product: product) SKPaymentQueue.default().add(payment) }

This creates a payment object using an SKProduct (retrieved from the Apple server) to add to a payment queue. The code utilizes a singleton SKPaymentQueue object called default(). Boom! Money in the bank. Or is it? How do you know if the payment went through?

Payment verification is achieved by having the IAPHelper observe transactions happening on the SKPaymentQueue. Before setting up IAPHelper as an SKPaymentQueue transactions observer, the class must conform to the SKPaymentTransactionObserver protocol.

Go to the very bottom (after the last curly brace) of IAPHelper.swift and add the following extension:

// MARK: - SKPaymentTransactionObserver extension IAPHelper: SKPaymentTransactionObserver { public func paymentQueue(_ queue: SKPaymentQueue, updatedTransactions transactions: [SKPaymentTransaction]) { for transaction in transactions { switch transaction.transactionState { case .purchased: complete(transaction: transaction) break case .failed: fail(transaction: transaction) break case .restored: restore(transaction: transaction) break case .deferred: break case .purchasing: break } } } private func complete(transaction: SKPaymentTransaction) { print("complete...") deliverPurchaseNotificationFor(identifier: transaction.payment.productIdentifier) SKPaymentQueue.default().finishTransaction(transaction) } private func restore(transaction: SKPaymentTransaction) { guard let productIdentifier = transaction.original?.payment.productIdentifier else { return } print("restore... \(productIdentifier)") deliverPurchaseNotificationFor(identifier: productIdentifier) SKPaymentQueue.default().finishTransaction(transaction) } private func fail(transaction: SKPaymentTransaction) { print("fail...") if let transactionError = transaction.error as NSError?, let localizedDescription = transaction.error?.localizedDescription, transactionError.code != SKError.paymentCancelled.rawValue { print("Transaction Error: \(localizedDescription)") } SKPaymentQueue.default().finishTransaction(transaction) } private func deliverPurchaseNotificationFor(identifier: String?) { guard let identifier = identifier else { return } purchasedProductIdentifiers.insert(identifier) UserDefaults.standard.set(true, forKey: identifier) NotificationCenter.default.post(name: .IAPHelperPurchaseNotification, object: identifier) } }

That’s a lot of code! A detailed review is in order. Fortunately, each method is quite short.

paymentQueue(_:updatedTransactions:) is the only method actually required by the protocol. It gets called when one or more transaction states change. This method evaluates the state of each transaction in an array of updated transactions and calls the relevant helper method: complete(transaction:), restore(transaction:) or fail(transaction:).

If the transaction was completed or restored, it adds to the set of purchases and saves the identifier in UserDefaults. It also posts a notification with that transaction so that any interested object in the app can listen for it to do things like update the user interface. Finally, in both the case of success or failure, it marks the transaction as finished.

All that’s left is to hook up IAPHelper as a payment transaction observer. Still in IAPHelper.swift, go back to init(productIds:) and add the following line right after super.init().

SKPaymentQueue.default().add(self)

Making a Sandbox Purchase

Build and run the app — but to test out purchases, you’ll have to run it on a device. The sandbox tester created earlier can be used to perform the purchase without getting charged. If only I could have a sandbox tester to do my grocery shopping :] Here’s how to use the tester account:

Go to your iPhone and make sure you’re logged out of your normal App Store account. To do this, go to the Settings app and tap iTunes & App Store.

Tap your iCloud account name and then tap Sign Out. At this point don’t actually sign in with the sandbox user. You will be prompted to do this once you attempt to buy the IAP back in the sample app.

Connect your device, build and run! You’ll see your product listed in the app. To begin the purchase process, tap the Buy button.

An alert will appear prompting you to log in. Tap Use Existing Apple ID, and enter the login details for the sandbox tester account that you created earlier.

Confirm the purchase by tapping Buy. The alert view shows that the purchase is being made in the sandbox as a reminder that you won’t be charged for it.

Finally, an alert view will appear confirming the purchase was successful. Once the purchase process has been completed, a checkmark appears next to the purchased item. Tap on the purchased item to enjoy your new RazeFace.

Finally you get to see this “Swift Shopping” RazeFace that you’ve been hearing so much about!

Restoring Purchases

If the user deletes and re-installs the app or installs it on another device, then they need the ability to access previously purchased items. In fact, Apple may reject an app if it cannot restore non-consumable purchases.

As a purchase transaction observer, IAPHelper is already being notified when purchases have been restored. The next step is to react to this notification by restoring the purchases.

Open IAPHelper.swift and scroll to the bottom of the file. In the StoreKit API extension, replace restorePurchases() with the following:

public func restorePurchases() { SKPaymentQueue.default().restoreCompletedTransactions() }

That was almost too easy! You’ve already set the transaction observer and implemented the method to handle restoring transactions in the previous step.

To test this out, after you’ve made a purchase in the previous step, delete the app from your device. Build and run again, then tap Restore on the top right. You should see a checkmark appear next to the previously purchased product.

Payment Permissions

Some devices and accounts may not permit an in-app purchase. This can happen, for example, if parental controls are set to disallow it. Apple requires this situation to be handled gracefully. Not doing so will likely result in an app rejection.

Open IAPHelper.swift again. In the StoreKit API extension, replace the return statement in canMakePayments() with this line:

return SKPaymentQueue.canMakePayments()

Product cells should behave differently depending on the value returned by canMakePayments(). For example, if canMakePayments() returns false, then the Buy button should not be shown and the price should be replaced by “Not Available”.

To accomplish this, open ProductCell.swift and replace the entire implementation of the product property’s didSet handler with the following:

didSet { guard let product = product else { return } textLabel?.text = product.localizedTitle if RazeFaceProducts.store.isProductPurchased(product.productIdentifier) { accessoryType = .checkmark accessoryView = nil detailTextLabel?.text = "" } else if IAPHelper.canMakePayments() { ProductCell.priceFormatter.locale = product.priceLocale detailTextLabel?.text = ProductCell.priceFormatter.string(from: product.price) accessoryType = .none accessoryView = self.newBuyButton() } else { detailTextLabel?.text = "Not available" } }

This implementation will display more appropriate information when payments cannot be made with the device. And there you have it — an app with in-app purchase!

Where To Go From Here?

You can download the completed version of the project using the Download Materials button at the top or bottom of this tutorial. Feel free to re-use the IAP helper class in your own projects!

The In-App Purchase Video Tutorial Series by Sam Davies covers all of the topics introduced here, but goes to the next level in Part 3 where he talks about validating receipts.

One shortcoming of the sample app is that it doesn’t indicate to the user when it is communicating with Apple. A possible improvement would be to display a spinner or HUD control at appropriate times. This UI enhancement, however, is beyond the scope of this tutorial. For more information on HUD controls, check out Section 3 of The iOS Apprentice.

Apple has a great landing page for in-app purchase: In-App Purchase for Developers. It collects together links to all the relevant documentation and WWDC videos.

IAPs can be an important part of your business model. Use them wisely and be sure to follow the guidelines about restoring purchases and failing gracefully, and you’ll be well on your way to success!

If you have any questions or comments about this in-app purchase tutorial, then please join the forum discussion below!

The post In-App Purchase Tutorial: Getting Started appeared first on Ray Wenderlich.

In-App Purchase Tutorial: Getting Started published first on https://medium.com/@koresol

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arplis · 4 years

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Arplis - News: Your Comprehensive Guide to Online Dating Slang

Internet Dating Slang Terms You Need to Know in 2020

RELATED:All the Sex Slang You Need to Know

If you find yourself in the latter category, this gigantic glossary of 61dating terms is for you.

AROMANTIC

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: ay-ro-MAN-tick

Etymology: The "a-" prefix roughly translates to "without;" "romantic," here, means capable of having feelings of romantic love

"I don't know what's wrong with me. I just can't... fall in love." "You're not broken maybe you're just aromantic!"

ASEXUAL

aka Ace

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ay-SEK-shoo-UL

Etymology: Knowing that "a-" means "without," I'm sure I don't need to tell you what "sexual" means.

"Patrick, are you dating Scott? I thought he was asexual, not gay." "Scott's asexual and likes boys! It ain't mutually exclusive."

BENCHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BENCH-ing

Etymology: You know when you're on a sports team but not actually playing, just waiting on the bench until the coach needs you? Yeah, it's the dating version of that.

"Rachel only ever seems to text me after I've given up on hearing from her. She's definitely benching me."

BIG DICK ENERGY

Dating / Identity

Pronunciation: BIG dick EH-nur-JEE

Damn, look at that guy over there. Hes totally exuding big dick energy.

BISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: by-SEK-shoo-ULL

Etymology: A bisexual person is like a bicycle; both share the prefix bi, which means two.

"Mike, why do you call yourself bisexual? You've only ever dated women." "That's true, but I just haven't met a guy I wanted to call my boyfriend yet."

BREADCRUMBING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: BREAD-crum-ing

Etymology: Think of the phenomenon of getting a small creature to follow you by laying a trail of breadcrumbs here, and you've got the right idea.

"Rene replies to every second or third message I send her but never wants to meet IRL. I think she's breadcrumbing me."

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KAZH-oo-ull ruh-LAY-shun-ship

Etymology: This one's pretty straightforward in meaning: it's a romantic relationship that's not too serious or committed.

"I have a friends with benefits type thing going on with Emily, you know? It's a casual relationship."

CATFISHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KAT-fish-ing

Etymology: The term gained popularity after the release of the 2010 documentary on the then-burgeoning phenomenon, Catfish, but the real reason for the name is harder to come by.

"She always has a different excuse not to meet up with me." "Sounds you're being catfished..."

CISGENDER

aka Cis

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: siss-JENN-der

Etymology: From cis-, meaning literally 'on this side of' in mathematics and organic chemistry.

"So what's the opposite of trans, then? Normal?" "Well, no, it's not that simple. But the term you're looking for is 'cis'."

CUFFING SEASON

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: KUFF-ing SEE-zun

Etymology: Cuffing, as in "handcuffing", because you're chaining yourself to someone else at least until winter's over.

"Starbucks just brought back the pumpkin spice latte, it must be cuffing season!"

CURVE

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: KURV

"I tried to ask out this babe at the bar last night and she curved me harder than I've ever been curved in my life."

CUSHIONING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KUSH-on-ing

Etymology: Cushioning, as in, keeping a person or several people around to "cushion" the blow if your main relationship doesn't work out.

"I do really like Priya, but I'm still texting Sian just in case. Yeah, I guess I'm cushioning."

DADDY

Dating / Identity

Pronunciation: DAH-dee

Etymology: From the word daddy, meaning father.

She keeps on texting me, choke me daddy. What the hell does that mean?

DEMISEXUAL

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: DEH-mee-SEK-shoo-ULL

Etymology: Demi means half, or part positioning demisexuals between asexuals and people who do typically experience sexual desire.

"At first I thought I was asexual, but then I realized I can have sexual desire for people... just not until I really know them!" "Sounds like you might be demisexual."

DM SLIDE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: DEE-em slide

Etymology: DM stands for "direct messages", and "sliding" is the process of entering someone's direct messages to flirt with them.

"Brandy just posted a selfie and she's looking hot AF! I'm about to slide in the DMs."

DTR CONVERSATION

aka DTR, DTR Convo

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: dee-tee-ARE con-ver-SAY-shun

Etymology: There's no great mystery here DTR simply stands for "define the relationship."

"It's been six months and I just don't know what we are yet?" "Well have you had a DTR convo with him?

EGGPLANT EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: EGG-plant ee-MO-ji

Etymology: People just noticed that the eggplant emoji was phallic-looking. The rest is history.

"Wow, did you see that bulge? Man, I'd love to see his eggplant emoji, if you know what I mean."

EMERGENCY CALL

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: eh-MUR-jun-see KOL

"Oh, God, thanks for agreeing to be my emergency call last night. What a nightmare date that was."

FIREDOORING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: FIE-er DOH-ring

Etymology: A fire door is a one-way door it allows you to exit (on rare occasions) but never allows anyone to enter.

"She never responds to my messages, but texts me 'u up' at 1 a.m.? What's the deal?" "Sounds like you're getting firedoored, bud."

FRECKLING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: FRECK-uh-ling

Etymology: From freckles, small patches of facial skin that darken during the summer for some people with pale skin.

"Its been three weeks since school started and I havent heard anything I think she was just freckling me."

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

aka FWB

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FRENDS with BEN-eh-fits

"So what are we? Is this a relationship? Or are we just friends?" "I think we're friends... with benefits."

F*CKBUDDIES

aka F*ckfriends

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: FUK-buh-deez

Etymology: F*ck means sex... buddies means friends... should be pretty straightforward.

"I met this great girl. We've been seeing each other a lot... just for sex, though, no dates. We're f*ckbuddies."

GAY

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: GAY

"Carol, would you like to grab coffee with me this weekend?" "Sure, Jim, but as friends. You do know I'm gay, right?"

GENDERFLUID

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: JEN-der-FLOO-id

Etymology: Gender, as in, your gender. Fluid, as in flowing, non-stable, movable, changeable.

GHOSTING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: GO-sting

Etymology: You know the disappearing act ghosts are known for? That, but it's your crush instead of a poltergeist.

"I'm not really feeling Melissa anymore, but she's really into me. I think I'm just gonna ghost her."

HALF-NIGHT STAND

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: HAFF nite STAND

Etymology: A half-night stand is 50 per cent of a one-night stand get it?

"Joe was lazy in bed and wouldn't give me head, so I got out of there as soon as he fell asleep. I guess I've had a half-night stand now!"

HAUNTING

aka Zombieing

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: HAWN-ting

Etymology: This is another supernatural dating metaphor but the meaning is almost the opposite of ghosting: in this case the offender lingers around rather than disappearing.

"Guess who watched my Instagram story today, of all people!? John! He's haunting me, and it's really creepy."

INCEL

aka Virgin

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: IN-sell

Etymology: Incel is a portmanteau of the phrase "involuntarily celibate" someone who's sexually inactive but wishes they could be.

"Ugh, I haven't had sex in almost three years. I'm such an incel."

KITTENFISHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: KIT-in-FISH-ing

Etymology: You already know about catfishing, when a person pretends to be someone they're not online. Well, kittenfishing is the lite version of that.

"Remember that girl I was messaging on Tinder? Well, we met IRL, and she was definitely kittenfishing."

LEFT ON READ

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LEFT awn RED or LEFT awn REED

Etymology: From the phrase read receipt, a notification visible in a chat or text window when a person has seen a message but not responded.

"Is he still leaving you on read? You need to get over him ASAP."

LOCKERING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LAH-ker-ing

Etymology: From the word locker, a small, typically locked space for your personal belongings in a large public building such as a school.

"How come youre always studying and you never have time to catch up? Are you lockering me?"

LGBTQ

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: ELL-jee-bee-tee-CUE

"I love all my LGBTQ friends!"

LOVE BOMBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: LUV BOM-ing

Etymology: Like its literal counterpart, a love bomb is awesome and spectacular at first, but ultimately very destructive.

"Graeme was so sweet at first, but now he's manipulative and jealous all the time. I guess he love bombed me."

MICROCHEATING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: MY-cro-CHEA-ting

Etymology: If you think of cheating behaviors as existing on a scale, these ones are on the more minor end.

"I've never caught Imogen sleeping with anyone else, but she's constantly flirting with other guys and texts everyone except me. In my opinion, she's microcheating."

NETFLIX AND CHILL

Graeme Adams

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: NET-flicks and CHILL

"How'd it go?" "Well, I invited him over for a little Netflix and chill... you can guess what happened next."

NON-BINARY

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: non-BYE-nuh-ree

Etymology: The prefix non- is modifying the noun 'binary', nullifying the idea that gender exists as only two options.

"I thought Padraic was trans? Why doesn't Padraic want to be referred to as 'she'?" "Padraic is trans, but they're nonbinary, not femme!"

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: OH-pin ruh-LAY-shun-ship

Etymology: The opposite of a traditional, "closed" relationship, an open relationship relaxes the rules on monogamy.

"I love Max, but I think we'd both benefit from a bit more sexual freedom. I'm thinking of asking him for an open relationship."

ORBITING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation:OR-bih-ting

Etymology: Just as the planets revolve around the sun with no direct interaction, this person checks all your social media accounts without ever saying a word.

"Hmm ... watches my Instagram story, likes my photos, reads my DMs, but doesn't respond. Yep, I'm being orbited."

PANSEXUAL

Graeme Adams

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: pan-SEK-shoo-ull

Etymology: Pan-, meaning all; someone who is attracted to all persons and genders.

"So are you still bisexual?" "Well, ever since my partner transitioned I feel like the word 'pansexual' suits me better, you know?"

PHUBBING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: FUH-bing

Etymology: A combination of phone and snubbing.

"Man, every time me and Mark hang out, hes always on Instagram when Im talking to him. I feel so phubbed."

PIE HUNTING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: PIE HUNT-ing

Etymology: A "pie" is a person with a disastrous dating history familiar with rejection and heartbreak. It comes from "pied off", British slang for being stood up or dumped.

"Dave only ever dates divorcees. He's a real pie-hunter."

POLYAMOROUS

aka Poly

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: paw-lee-AM-oh-riss

Etymology: Polyamorous comes from the Greek poly (many) and amor (love), meaning many loves.

"To be honest, Camille and I are thinking of experimenting with being polyamorous."

QUEER

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: KWEER

Etymology: Originally meaning 'strange', 'queer' was used for years as a slur against non-normative sexualities.

"Not gay as in happy, but queer as in 'screw off.'"

REDPILL

Identity / Celibacy

Pronunciation: RED-pill

"Yeah, my brother totally got redpilled in his first year at college. Yikes."

ROACHING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: ROW-ching

Etymology: Roaching refers to the adage that if you see one cockroach, there are a ton more that you don't see just like this person's sneaky side-dealings.

"So it turned out he'd been seeing like, six other girls the whole time!" "Damn, Tina. You got roached."

SAPIOSEXUAL

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SAY-pee-oh-SEK-shoo-ull

Etymology: The "sapio" part comes from the Latin word "sapiens," which means "mind."

"What really entices me about a woman... is her mind. Yes, you could call me a sapiosexual."

SEVERAL-NIGHT STAND

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SEV-rull NITE STAND

"Well, we kept on texting each other 'u up' every evening and it basically turned into a several-night stand."

SEX INTERVIEW

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: SECKS INN-tur-vyou

"So what's the deal with you and Brandon? Is that happening?" "Nah. He's still messaging me, but to be honest, he failed his sex interview."

SITUATIONSHIP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SIT-chew-AY-shun-ship

Etymology: It's not a friendship, or a relationship, but something in between: it's a situationship.

"So what's the deal with you and Molly now? Are you together?" "I don't know, man. It's a situationship."

SLOW FADE

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: SLOW fade

Etymology: Similar to breadcrumbing, the slow fade is letting someone down gently without actually saying so.

"I want to end things with Lee, but I can't stand the idea of hurting him. I think I'm gonna do the slow fade."

SNACK

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SNAK

"God damn, did you see that babe who just walked by?" "Yeah, man, that girl was a snack!"

STASHING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: STA-shing

Etymology: Stashing a partner is hiding them away from public view, like a squirrel stashing nuts in a tree.

"Maria won't introduce me to any of her friends or family. I think I'm being stashed."

STEALTHING

Sex / Trend

Pronunciation: STELL-thing

Etymology:Stealthing is necessarily a sneaky move, since it involvesremoving the condom and keeping it a secret.

"When we started, he was wearing a condom, but halfway through I realized he wasn't!" "Oh my God, he stealthed you?

STRAIGHT

Identity / Sexuality

Pronunciation: STRATE

Etymology: Straight means heterosexual, mostly.

"I'm flattered you'd think to ask me out, Zander, but I'm straight."

SUBMARINING

Graeme Adams

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: sub-muh-REE-ning

Etymology: Submarines go underwater... and the occasionally pop back up to the surface! That's normal behavior for them.

"So after disappearing for two months, she just pops right back up!" "Damn... she submarined you!

SUMMER FLING

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: SUM-mer FLING

Etymology: This one's not rocket science: a summer fling is a short, informal relationship over the warmer months.

"I had such a good time with Nicole in Cabo but it was definitely just a summer fling."

SWINGER

Identity / Dating

Pronunciation: SWING-ur

Etymology: Swingers are people who 'swing' from one sexual partnership (their spouse) to another.

"Yeah, this married couple asked us if we wanted to come to a swingers party with them."'

SWIPING

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: SWHY-ping

"No plans tonight... I'm just going to stay home, re-download Tinder and swipe myself silly."

TEXTLATIONSHIP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: text-LAY-shun-ship

Etymology: A combination of text and relationship.

"Shes always texting me but never wants to actually go on a date or hook up. Honestly, we might just be in a textlationship."

THIRST TRAP

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: THURST trap

Etymology: Thirst is desire, sexual or romantic, that tends to be unreturned; a trap is how you catch unsuspecting victims.

"Damn, did you see Sheila's selfie last night? That outfit was wild!" "Yep, that was a real thirst trap."

THRONING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: thr-OWN-ing

Etymology: When you think of a throne, you think of a crown. That person doing the throning wants that crown.

"Every time we cross that rope, we get inside and suddenly it's like I'm not even there. I feel like I'm just being throned."

TINDSTAGRAMMING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: TIND-stuh-gram-ming

Etymology: A mashup of "Tinder" and "Instagramming," Tindstagrammers try to make the most of both platforms.

"I have 10 new messages in my Other folder on Instagram! These Tindstagrammers won't leave me alone."

TRANSGENDER

Identity / Gender

Pronunciation: trans-JEN-der

Etymology: Trans-, meaning across or beyond, plus gender

"So I hear Paul's cousin is transgendered now." "Actually, she's just transgender no 'ed' necessary!"

TURKEY DUMP

Dating / Type

Pronunciation: TUR-key DUMP

Etymology: So-named because it's a breakup that occurs after the Thanksgiving break.

"I had such a good time with Jake while he was home for Thanksgiving, but he broke up with me as soon as he got back to campus. I got turkey dumped."

UNCUFFING SEASON

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: un-CUFF-ing SEE-sun

Etymology: A variant on cuffing season.

"Man, how many couples have broken up in the past few weeks? Is it uncuffing season already?"

VULTURING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: vul-CHUR-ing

Etymology: Just like a vulture circling its wounded prey, some people swoop in to pick up the pieces out when they sense a relationship is on its last leg.

"Stop vulturing, it's just a rough patch. They'll get through it!"

WATER DROPLETS EMOJI

Dating / Trend

Pronunciation: WAH-turr DROP-lits ee-MO-ji

Etymology: Anyone whos ever made a mess with their sexual fluids will understand.

Cant wait for later tonight. Im gonna make you water droplets emoji all over the place.

ZOMBIEING

Dating / Move

Pronunciation: zom-BEE-ing

Etymology:A zombie is an undead person coming back from the grave. Need we say more here?

3 months of radio silence after we texted every single day. I can't believe he's zombieing me ... should I answer?

All illustrations by Graeme Adams.

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