#i smiled and was cheeful and didnt tell him hes a fuckboy

[kidcha]

Today my Manager was eating alone in the smoko while I was tidying up. I was quiet, head down and not talking, not even acknowledging he was there. I love my Manager okay, Id fucking trade every chiller boy in the world in a heartbeat to keep him around, but??

> how are you, kidcha? You dont look happy

And its just asking politely, you know? So i stop and try to answer and stare at him and frown and open and close my mouth a few times and eventually, uncertainly, settle on--

>> what do you think of harvesting manager?

> how do you mean

A pretty valid question. Its not very specific. I wouldnt want to guess at my meaning, either.

>> how he handles situations

> not the best

>> i agree

But theres no passion or anger. I dont look at him. This validation doesnt make my problems go away or clear my skin and water my crops. I keep cleaning.

> what situation? he asks, after a few seconds

So I tell him. Its just bullshit, you know? But this is twice hes gone and talked shit to the packing shed superviser. Twice hes thrown me under the bus. Twice Ive had to deal with her throwing shade and making snide remarks and being a cunt. Twice, you know? Hes meant to be a manager and he says all the right things to your face, but somehow 'I dont want them to keep touching me please deal with it lowkey' isnt a valid request and hed rather shit talk to His People.

And this is twice Ive thought 'I cant trust him.'

So I told my Manager. He listened. He didnt speak and I didnt look at him. I tried not to get too whiny. And when I shrugged and blatantly changed the subject, he allowed it.

Did you know he cooks for his wife every night and every morning?? His food sounds good too. Goddamn Manager, you are a man of many talents.

#i dont think the conversation means anything #but i was upset rather than angry and confrontational #im ALWAYS angry and loud and confrontational or at least distraught. im not known for being quiet #happy happy boy came to get rags and new girl was leading the way and she saw me and went OH #and he came in and went UHHHHHHH /clearly wants to abscond/ #i smiled and was cheeful and didnt tell him hes a fuckboy #which he is but its fine w/e #apparently when im super angry im intimidating which is the funniest thing ive ever heard #i mean YEAH im fucking MEANT to be what did you think would happen but #maintenance boys sat with us at smoko it was cool #then the creepy white boy just came and sat down at our full table and it was weird #and packing shed superviser yelled shade at our backs #going back to doctor tomorrow bc while pills make foot hurt less id like to be able to eat and not need the toilet an hour later #every time #for an extended period of time #accomodation managers partner came to get glass cleaner and dad!maintenance guy saw us coming out #'OOOHHHHHHHH' #boy he is not only WHITE but also BRITISH he doesnt stand a chance #whereas i was openly thirsty for most attractive chiller boy goddamn im so weak he might be a jerk but he BIG hnggfffggg