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#i think i just adopted claude. well buddy i hope u like your stay
dmclemblems · 1 year
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Another thing worth mentioning about Claude's relationship with his parents: despite his feelings of admiration for his mother and despite remembering the bedtime stories his father told him, he still never writes to them. He can contact Nader no problemo (can even have him IN FODLAN, and for extended periods of time!), but his supports with Hilda also show off that he's so disconnected from his parents he's actually not even sure they're still alive.
Claude: Well, that's a fine thing to do, regardless of your reasons. As for me, it's been far too long since I've written to my parents...
Hilda: Oh? I thought your father had died.
Claude: Not quite. He's still alive and kicking...as far as I know. 
So on top of the Horse Incident... the "deal with the assassins yourself tiny child" thing... the fact that Claude ran away without telling his dad (if we go by Hopes) and without his mom seeming to give a shit that he's leaving all by himself... the act that going by Hopes Daddy-o is doing Literally Nothing about his children trying to violently invade his lover's homeland, and nothing about his children trying to murder each other for his throne... yeah these two are incredibly shitty parents, Gilbert could never dream of being this bad lmao.
But like, I also kinda like how... real? I guess? Claude's reaction to this is. He loves his parents, and he'll have open admiration for at least his mother, but then he starts talking about the other stuff and it's like "oh, that sounds like an abuse victim." Hearing him talk about how he "deserved" to either be dragged around by a horse or helplessly tied to its saddle as it runs around (depending on which version) shocked me when I first heard it, because "I was being bad I deserved to get hit by my parents" is such a huge red flag hearing someone say.
Plus how fondly he looks back on that memory - like you said, he was probably so elated to have his parents pay attention to him that the means in what they did so literally meant nothing to him (and could also tie into why he remembered those bedtime stories so well; another rare moment of his parent's attention being given to him) And him making the active effort to not talk to his parents once he ran away makes it so much worse, and hearing him still hold such fondness for them anyway in his A support with Byleth is almost more sad than it is endearing.
I'm honestly also surprised that the fandom just never acknowledges this? They act like Claude's parents are so cool for the most part, when his are legit some of the worst 3H has to offer and he's such a clear case of an abused child it's not even funny.
For real lol. People bash Gilbert for leaving his family while completely ignoring all the context about why. Meanwhile they celebrate badass Almyran king and queen despite that they’re horrible to Claude and probably all of their children as far as the king goes.
I also appreciate how Claude’s situation is complicated regarding his parents. Even abused children can still love their parents and it’s a very difficult situation. It’s a cycle of being abused then the parents will do something nice for the child, and that child believes they love them now and will be nice to them going forward. When that doesn’t happen, they remember the good things and try to tell themselves that their parents aren’t all bad and that there’s good in there. They love them for the nice things they do and tend to want more of it, so they stick around hoping to see that more.
Once Claude got old enough I’d imagine he probably realized it wasn’t normal and decided enough was enough. Even if he just wanted attention from his parents, I’m sure he could only take so much of what he went through between the assassinations and nobody really caring about him. Hilda was right to be shocked and horrified at what Claude went through, because that’s just... not normal. Also, if a child comes to believe they deserved the treatment, it’s because the parents made them think they deserved it and the child starts to accept it even if the punishment is reprehensible.
Even though Claude tends to brush this stuff off like it’s all in the past, it’s clearly affected him and his ability to trust people and form emotional connections. Like I said above, he remembers the good things fondly because it was the only positive attention he could get. He doesn’t fondly remember being punished and just speaks casually of it, but he shows no happiness for it. I’m sure Tiana does love him, but it also sounds like she either is afraid to go against her husband’s ways or just changed for the worse. Maybe the king does also love Claude, but it doesn’t excuse how terribly he treated him. Fact is, you’re only a child once and once you’re scarred from your childhood, you can’t just fix that.
Him not talking to his parents after leaving is a good step forward for him tbh. Cutting off contact regardless of how “sad” they might be is what you have to do in that situation. It’s like when toxic parents want their children to live with them to use them for selfish reasons, and they gaslight their kids so they can get what they want and be controlling. In that situation all you can really do is cut them out of your life. Of course, there’s always the whole giving them another chance in the future kind of thing, but if they continue acting like that then you cut them out permanently.
In Claude’s case I think he did the right thing to leave his father hanging like that, because boo hoo the king is so sad he can’t rule properly, but how do we not know that wasn’t intentional acting so that hopefully the information would reach Claude that he was acting like that? Maybe he could make Claude feel bad and come home... and the cycle would just continue. When parents act sad like that and “miss” their child despite having previously abused them in any form, it’s usually meant to manipulate the child’s emotions and make them come back. If your kids are trying to kill each other for whatever reason, how does that not make you more depressed than your most abused and bullied child running away from home and getting away from all that?
Personally I never found his stories about his life to be endearing. I found all of it to be depressing and upsetting. He may be older in the time of the game and know how to better manage that stuff, but it’s always worth noting that he was just a little boy when all this happened to him. Kids can get scared so easily and yet he acts like none of it actually really affected him, despite that any child being put through all that would traumatize them. All of that shows in his personality through his relationships and his inability to notice he’s pressing too hard on someone’s emotions until after it’s already done. He’s literally still in the learning process of how to understand other people’s emotions at the age of 18.
Having any fond memories of his abusers is exactly what a lot of abuse victims go through. I’m honestly shocked most of the fandom doesn’t look at his experiences as being legitimately terrible. His parents aren’t cool or badass. They’re terrible parents and not people who even deserve to call him their child. They certainly didn’t treat him like parents should treat their children. No child should be growing up in those circumstances.
The funny thing about the whole “bad parent” thing with Fodlan’s parents is that with Faerghus, they’re not only pretty decent parents, but then you get Matthias, who, well, more or less neglected his children (rather than abused them). Difference being, in Hopes he actually admits to knowing he was a bad father to Sylvain (and presumably Miklan who is still alive and well in that timeline as it’s GW he says this to Sylvain in). Then you have Lambert, who Rodrigue believes Dimitri losing would be horrible for Dimitri. Lambert decides that if he does die, he can safely leave Dimitri to Rodrigue. He had an idea, some sort of plan, if he were to die where his child would be safely in the care of someone who loved him. Rodrigue loved Glenn so much that he never stopped looking for answers about Duscur, coming across all kinds of valuable information about things that didn’t concern Glenn simply because he was distraught and had to know why his son had to die that day (and no, it wasn’t because he was a true knight. That was Rodrigue’s distressed way of coping. When he was in a better state of mind, he investigated the situation to get real answers. That’s the proof he wasn’t satisfied with the idea of leaving it at “Glenn was just doing his job”). Regarding Felix, Felix was the one who didn’t want to talk to Rodrigue, so Rodrigue backed off and let his son have space, but always looked out for him and tried to get closer to him. There was only so much he could do, but he did what little he could because he cared about Felix, even if Felix would walk away mad. Rodrigue just wanted his son in good hands.
That’s a pretty massive contrast to leaving your child vulnerable to assassins who are also partially your other children by not protecting him. Faerghus’ fathers would 110% absolutely have someone’s head for trying to harm their child, much less kill their child. No child deserves to have to fight their own battles, and no child deserves to have to rely on themselves to survive. Even with animals, you see the mother raise her young until they’re old enough to leave their home. Birds, cats, rabbits, you name it. They take care of their babies and keep them safe at home until they’re old enough to wander and get their own food and live outside of a confined area for their safety. It’s pretty much instinctual.
If Claude were real, all the stuff he went through would be such a big deal. I wish more people saw that because it’s good writing as far as Claude is concerned, but it also means his parents weren’t as amazing as other people say they are. Notice how it’s always other characters talking about how great they are, but Claude never has very good things to say about them that extend beyond basically “look they gave me attention once or twice every half a year”.
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