#i think the gluten is destroying my intestines again. i cant stop crying and i am so depressed again.

[mobtism]

soooooo severely depressing having so many allergies. urggh

#been really devastating to me again. cant eat any food. cant go without five things of benadryl tucked inside my bag. #cant be near cats. cant get any pet without making sure im not allergic first. cant touch grass cant touch rain without my skin itching #and breaking out. #i think the gluten is destroying my intestines again. i cant stop crying and i am so depressed again. #i want to order the stuff i need for my guinea pigs because im so excited and want to get everything ready as soon as possible. but i cant #do that until im certain im not allergic. but how can i check? #no one in close proximity has any i can touch or hold. pet stores dont allow it. so what do i do? #buy them and hold them and take the risk of having to rehome them? god what an awful thing. #ive lost my ability to sing i feel. in part because im impassioned and part because the mucus in my throat is so thick i can hardly breathe. #and maybe its my fault because i cant stick to my diet. my throat could be clearer if i did. but with how things are right now? sticking to #my diet will be too hard and too stressful. i'd probably stop eating again. #so i cant sing. i cant make decisions like a normal person could. i can feel my organs tearing themselves apart. i cant be outside without #downing an antihistamine. i cant live my life without constant worrying about being allergic to fucking EVERYTHING. and i am so distraught #im just. its really fucking upsetting. #✨