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cookieswriting · 5 years

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Can’t Be Happening Pt. 5 (SEAL Team)

((I can’t believe we have to wait until MARCH for new episodes. WHAT IS THAT?!?! NOT COOL MAN!!!! I will do my best to help break up the hiatus…there will be one more chapter after this one and then I’ll get started with some other ideas. Don’t forget, let me know if you have any requests and I will do my best to make it happen! BTW, totally making up Clay’s rank. I know at one point they ID’d him as ‘sailor’ (when Ray was dealing with the whole accidental death of the boy) but A) he’d be called Seaman if he were a non-rate and B) from what I have been able to find, someone on an assault team like Bravo is a First-Class Petty Officer or higher, so he should have been addressed as SO1 not ‘sailor’, especially considering his experience leading other teams as they’ve mentioned several times. But that’s my own personal nitpick ;) and I could also be wrong so there’s also that hahaha))

A dull throb drew Clay back into consciousness, but it took several minutes to figure out that it originated from...well, everywhere. Whole left side of his body, middle...area of the right side of his body...face...there wasn’t a particular spot that he could identify as not aching.

Memories hit him abruptly, of noticing movement in the shadows as he cleared a room chasing Doza’s right’ hand man after he fled the courtyard, of pushing Sonny back to the relative safety of the street and surrendering himself to the dozen men waiting for them. The video...the brutal beating they’d given him despite his insistence that he didn’t know anything. The agony of his leg being broken, and then...nothing.

Forcing himself to remain still, Clay listened to his surroundings. When nothing stood out, he tested his ability to move, and felt panic threaten to seize him. Despite the pain, his left arm was utterly immobile, and his right wrist was definitely bound to something. Dammit.

Voices filtered into wherever the hell he was, and Clay sank into his cover as he gave up on the pretense of unconsciousness. “Please-” A wracking cough cut him off, and fresh agony stole his breath for a moment. “I-I thought it was a restaurant...I don’t know anything.”

Hands pressed against his chest, careful of his shoulders...the first sign that maybe he was missing something. “Stand down, Spenser...you’re safe.”

Davis. Finally blinking against the bright lights above him, Clay took in the concerned face hovering above him and gave a relieved smile. “Lis-” Another round of coughing, and she was gently pressing a straw against his lips.

“Easy, Clay, drink slow. Take a minute, get your bearings. We’re back in Virginia.” Clay looked down to see his left arm strapped firmly across his chest, likely to secure his dislocated shoulder. He did raise a questioning brow, though, when he looked down to see his right wrist secured to the bed. “This isn’t the first time you woke up. First time you’ve woken up coherent enough to settle, though...you tore out your IV the first time trying to fight free before Sonny and Jase could hold you down and the doc could sedate you.”

After taking another long drink he nodded for her to take the cup away. “How long has it been? Where are the guys?” Man, his throat was like sandpaper.

Lisa grinned wryly as she pressed the call button. “It’s been five days since you were taken, two since we made it back to Virginia. The guys are at Command...getting a dressing down for going in after you I’m sure. Not that any of them care, Blackburn has already gone to bat for them, so they will probably just be confined to base for a while.”

Both turned their attention to the soft knock at the door. “Hello there, SO1 Spenser, it’s good to see you alert. My name is Kelly. How are you feeling?” A petite brunette walked in, clipboard in hand, and glanced at Lisa.

“Please, call me Clay.” The nurse nodded with a kind smile. “I’ve been better, that’s for sure...she’s fine to stay if she doesn’t feel like getting up, swear she knows more about any of us than we know about ourselves.” He winked over at his friend, who seemed to visibly relax at his joke. “Everything hurts, not gonna lie...shoulders are both on fire...left moreso than right…”

“I can give you some stronger meds for that-”

“No, I’d rather not be hazy…”

“Clay,” Lisa interrupted gently. “You’re home, you’re safe, and I’m not going anywhere until the boys are back at the very least. Take the relief.”

Kelly looked between them. “How about I give you just enough to take the edge off without affecting your alertness? And when you’re comfortable and ready to sleep, we’ll up the dosage then. Sound fair?” Clay relented with a nod, and remained silent as the nurse took his vitals, removed the strap from his right wrist, and checked his stitches. Once she was finished, the nurse glanced shyly at the SEAL. “Numbers are heading in the right direction, Clay. Maybe once you’re healed up we could grab a drink?”

A sad smile tugged at the man’s lips as images of another beautiful brunette, this one encouraging him to hold on during his darkest moments, crossed his mind. “I appreciate that, Kelly...but I’m not in a good place for that right now.” She nodded and excused herself.

Lisa watched the blonde man rest his head back against the pillow with a tired sigh. “Did you know that Stella tried to call you the day that you were taken?”

He winced at the mention of her name, gentle though it’d been. He was too tired to mask his surprise. “N-no...we, uh...we split up right before shipping out. She’d dodged my first couple of calls when we got to Mexico.”

“She must’ve called right after you left for the mission...was trying to make things right. She’s been with Naima since the…” Davis cleared her throat, looked away for a moment before continuing. “Since the video was released.” Clay felt a twist in his chest at the thought of Stella seeing what he’d been through. Lisa stood and approached the bed, settling her hand over Clay’s uninjured arm. “I’ve kinda taken over keeping in touch with Stella instead of Naima having to be the go-between for the guys. They are...less than thrilled with her over what happened before we left, but I can see things closer to her perspective. I’ve been stuck miles away and unable to do a damn thing as you, Jason and Trent went down in a chopper. I have a little bit of a clearer understanding of what it feels like to be on her side of things.” Watching Clay’s conflicted reaction, Lisa squeezed his bicep and shrugged. “Maybe I wouldn’t have been so quick to forgive her...lapse of judgment if she weren’t so consistent in checking in since the moment the team got you back. She’s following your lead, though, Clay...if you don’t want to see her again, she’ll back off.”

The wounded SEAL stared up at Lisa for a long moment, processing everything she’d said; that Stella had wanted to fix things before he’d been taken hostage...and still wanted to be with him even after what he considered to be the worst scenario she could’ve endured as his girlfriend. “I...I need to see her...talk to her before I make any decisions.” Lisa grinned. “But I need to talk to the others first.”

“What you need to do first is rest. The team will probably be another couple of hours. You’re still healing, Clay...I don’t know how much you remember, but we came really close to losing you. It’s going to take time to bounce back from this, so don’t push it, do you understand me?”

The SEAL couldn’t help his smirk, even as he lost the fight to keep his eyes open. Damn, if this woman doesn’t have some magical powers that bend us to her will, he thought. “Aye aye, ma’am.”

The last thing he saw before falling asleep was the affectionate grin on her face as she settled back into the chair near the door.

“C’mon, Ken Doll, Davis already gave you up, open those pretty blues, you’ve had enough time to sleep.” The gruff voice that dragged Clay back from his slumber was accompanied by light pats on the cheek, and the young SEAL flinched away with a grimace.

“Really, Sonny?” Trent growled. As Clay opened his eyes, the medic was tugging Sonny away from the bed.

“I didn’t touch any of the bruises, but you can’t tell me you aren’t itchin’ to see him awake and talkin’ just as much as I am.” When Sonny caught Clay’s gaze, the Texan lit up. “There he is! Welcome back to the world of the living, GQ!”

“You wanna take it down a notch, Son?” Clay mumbled, turning his eyes to the rest of his room. The entirety of Bravo Team was scattered around him: Sonny and Trent standing at his right side, Brock and Cerberus next to Lisa by the door, Jason and Ray to his left.

“Sorry the caveman can’t keep quiet to save his life,” Lisa offered with a regretful smile. Clay grinned back with a wink.

“How are you feeling, Kid?” Jason asked, voice soft.

“Like hell,” he answered. “What’s the damage for going rogue?”

The Team Leader shrugged. “Couple weeks restricted to base, which is fine because it’s about how long you’ll be stuck in here anyway.” Jason watched his youngest team member quietly for a moment. “Before you ask, cause I know you will, Charlie team is taking over the hunt for Doza.”

Clay nodded his gratitude, chose not to respond to the fact that he’d be confined to this room for two whole weeks. “Thanks for coming after me.”

Brock snorted. “Like not bringing you home was even an option.”

“The only reason the cake-eaters gave us any hell is because we didn’t wait for their green light, couldn’t be made to look like fools for not responding faster,” Ray added.

The injured SEAL fidgeted for a moment, wishing that he could move his left arm - or leg...that he could find some kind of comfortable position as he prepared for what he was sure would be an uncomfortable conversation. He settled for raising the head of his bed so that he could at least be sitting up. “Hey, guys...I’m going to ask Stella to come by...to talk.” Sonny opened his mouth to retort, but Clay held up his good hand, limited thought the movement was by his IVs. “I know that you guys aren’t happy with what happened...but this is between me and her. I don’t know if I’m going to let her back in or not…” He took a breath, both for rest and to steel himself for whatever arguments they might give. “But I am asking that you trust my judgment, whatever I decide.”

“She let you deploy fresh off a breakup, and look at what happened,” Sonny insisted, his hands grasping at the bedrail and tightening. When Clay looked up at him, the Texan was staring at the floor. When he spoke again, guilt softened his tone. “You took a stupid risk…”

Clay wrapped his fingers around Sonny’s wrist and waited until the older man met his eyes to respond. “I recognized a threat to my team and a chance to protect my brothers. I was first in the door, I looked most like just another tourist...I knew things wouldn’t have gone well if they were able to grab anyone else. Breakup or not, I would do the exact same thing in any circumstance. Stella had nothing to do with it.” He squeezed until Sonny nodded his understanding, and then Clay glanced around to make sure the others heard him as well. “I would gladly lay down my life for you, and I know you would do the same. What happened with Stella...she tried not to have the conversation before we left. I was the one who wouldn’t let it go until she told me what was bothering her. It was just as much her fault as it was mine…”

“We’ll follow your lead, Spense. It’s not an easy life...we don’t always get it right the first time around. If this didn’t scare her off...not really sure what would,” Jason assured. The rest of the team nodded their agreement, albeit reluctantly on Sonny’s part. “Just be sure she’s back for the right reasons.”

Davis stood with a genuine smile. “I’ll give her a call. Looks like it’s time for you boys to clear out.” She hesitated for a moment. “Brock, you grabbed Clay’s stuff when we left Mexico, right? Can you bring his laptop in here, give him something to do while he waits for her to get here?” Clay narrowed his eyes at her for a moment, before he remembered her comment about the call he’d missed before being taken.

Ten minutes later, Clay was alone in the hospital room, laptop resting across his knees as he pulled up the video message that he’d never gotten to see. He watches as the face of the woman he loved changed from forced optimism to guilt, tears filling her eyes as she apologized for hurting him and asked for the chance to fix it.

“I was so stupid for waiting so long to call you after Naima talked some sense into me the day you guys deployed.” The blonde SEAL looked up to see Stella leaning against the doorframe, eyes red and watery. She refused to look anywhere but his face. “I knew within a few hours what I was going to do...but I was too embarrassed. Maybe if I’d called sooner, things would’ve been different…” A tear slid down her cheek, and Clay closed the laptop with his good hand.

“Stella, what happened wasn’t because of us breaking up. What happened was because I needed to protect my team...my brothers. I would’ve done it no matter how things were with us.” He hesitated, knowing that this would be the defining moment for them. “That’s not something that will ever change, Stell. It’s my job to protect them, and I will do that with my dying breath if I have to.”

Fresh tears dripped to the ground as she dropped her gaze to the floor. “I...I know,” she murmured, voice surprisingly certain. When she returned her eyes to his, determination shone through. Hesitant steps brought her to his right side, and when he canted his head towards her, she sat gingerly on the bed near his hip. Clay refused to break her stare, reading every shifting emotion as it crossed her face, and instinctively laced their fingers when her hand settled over his. Stella sobbed, and the vice grip around his heart eased. “I love you for your devotion to your brothers, Clay. I would never want that to change...and I’m sorry that I ever made you feel otherwise. Bravo is your family...they’re part of you. I regret giving up even a second of time being with you out of the fear of what might happen...but it’s shown me that I need to make the most of what time we do have together...to be grateful for every moment we are given together, and support you through every step, good or bad.”

Clay smiled softly at her, squeezing her fingers. “If we do this again...I have to warn you, the guys are going to be hard on you for a while, until they feel confident you’re here for good.” Hope swelled in his chest at her responding look of tenderness and the warmth of her hand against his cheek.

“I would expect nothing less from the men who watch your back in life and death situations, as well as every other facet of your life. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to prove to them that I’m not going to let my fear drive me away from you ever again.” She stared into his eyes for a long moment. “Are you willing to give me a chance to make things right?”

In lieu of responding verbally, Clay eased his hand around her waist and tugged her close to press his lips against her. Finally, he was home. Finally, he was whole again. This woman, who’d already proven time and again that she belonged in his world, had come back to him even after the next worst thing to him actually being killed in action...and he would make damn sure she wouldn’t run again. If her response to his kiss was any indicator, that wouldn’t be an issue; the SEAL drew back with a low hiss when they got too caught up in the moment, and she bumped his injured arm.

“Shit, sorry, I’m so sorry…” Her hands hovered over his shoulders, wanting to fix it but not knowing what was safe to touch. Clay chuckled at her and kissed her again briefly, wanting to assure her that he was okay. Stella sat back, now serious, eyes tracing every visible bruise and cut, the bandages and outline of his casted leg beneath his bedsheet. “When that video came on…” He cradled her face when her lower lip began to quiver, and she leaned into his touch. “I was out at the bar, and it didn’t even connect at first that it could be you. One of the others, maybe...but my mind didn’t even let me process the possibility that it would be you. I’ve never been so scared...and then Naima called me, within minutes. Even knowing we’d broken up, not knowing I’d changed my mind...she didn’t give me a choice, I wasn’t going to be alone while you were gone. I don’t know how I would’ve handled everything without her and the other wives.”

Clay made a mental note to thank Naima for calling Stella out when she’d needed it, and being the support she needed and never would’ve felt comfortable asking for. “Ray’s got himself a special lady, and I’m glad she was there when you needed her most.” Idly twirling a strand of brunette hair around his finger, the blonde took in her beautiful face and once again remembered when it had come to him in his darkest moment. “You know, while they had me...there was a point where I hallucinated that you were with me.” She tensed under his touch but didn’t respond, so he continued. “You encouraged me to hold on, reminded me that the guys wouldn’t give up. It gave me strength, got me through til they showed up.” The sudden tears streaming down her face startled Clay, and he narrowed his eyes. “What?”

“I...I had a nightmare the second day after you were taken...that I was with you. I could smell the blood…”

The meaning behind her words tightened his chest, and he couldn’t help a grin. “My very own guardian angel. Hey,” he waited until she met his eyes again. “I’m home, I’m safe, and most importantly, you’re here with me. I love you, Stella; getting over this is going to royally suck on many levels, but I know that we’ll get through it together.”

#seal team fanfic #clay spenser whump #clay spenser #stella baxter #Clay x stella #Bravo team #jason hayes #sonny quinn #ray perry #brock reynolds #trent sawyer #lisa davis #one more chapter to go!#send me prompts pleeeeeease!

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