#i want to post about the video game i was playing alongside the machiavelli text i was reading next to the shakespeare art

[mjvnivsbrvtvs]

also re: quietly shelving that twitter account, it’s not that I’m quitting drawing classics/ancient history art, it’s just that space specifically wasn’t/isn’t fun anymore, and after thinking it over for two weeks, it’s like. not fixable.

#i don't feel like i can talk there and it's overwhelmingly claustrophobic bc it's like. i DO want to talk to other people #i WANT to have fun and it just. is resoundingly not #tbh the reason i originally made it kind of got away from what it ended up being and that's part of the problem #but also i Love things and im incapable of loving things by halves #and it's like. not fun to feel like i need to divide up places for all the things i like just bc im :/ that i wont be taken seriously #even tho it's like. that's not something i care too much about. but that space oh my god it was becoming so awful to be there #it was horrible feeling that way to bc i felt so ungrateful for all the support and kind words and comments i kept getting #how do i even start trying to explain that i was miserable trying to reconcile being from a country that was like #colonized twice. imperialized. how do i begin to talk about how sometimes i hate it. #the classics as a language of REJECTION in art and here i was just. drawing it. and having fun. and then it wasn't #and i couldnt talk about it. #on that note: it IS fun now bc ive realized i wasn't making art in a way that was meaningful to me #and once you realize that you can walk backwards and find out what IS meaningful and then work on doing that #an oil painting of brutus in hell a la dante #instead of becoming even more unhappy #man. i got collage art of caligula im working on. i am having a BLAST. i havent had fun doing dead romans in MONTHS #i DO plan on using that twitter for more serious one off illustrations tho u know. bc it's not that i hate it. i just want to hang out with #ppl more. and that twitter wasn't really good for it. it started out that way but i let it get too far away from its original point #in some vain attempt to be taken seriously: again. not something i care about. very annoyed i let it bc a thing in my mind #i want to post about the video game i was playing alongside the machiavelli text i was reading next to the shakespeare art #and not feel like a hack for doing it