#i wanted to upload a pandolf-in-the-snow video and forgot so i will say in my defence that i spent the whole day thinking about Her

[hedgehog-moss]

I had one of those dreams last night where you make a friend and then wake up and miss your dream-friend... I dreamt that I found an adorable creature in the stream near my house, it looked like a little manta ray but with a hard and scaly back like an armadillo. It was like a tiny marine dinosaur and I lovingly carried it back home and put it in the greenhouse fish tank. I named it Creil-Creil because that was the sound it made when it pondered things while gnashing its little teeth. Then it started mind-controlling me—Creil-Creil liked hot water so twice a day I poured oil into the fish tank and set it on fire. Some of my plants caught fire and my mum said, are you sure you want to keep doing this? And I was like yeah!! who needs plants in a greenhouse Mum. 

Then I realised (in a spike of terror that almost woke me up) that I had never fed the poor thing and didn’t know what she ate (aside from all my fish) and I suddenly felt extremely keen to invite people to visit. Visitors came, and my new aquatic best friend ate their hands. I mean I kept bringing people near the tank and saying “feel free to pet her!” and petting her myself while she creil-creiled happily and then people petted her and she leapt out of the water and bit off one of their hands (rarely both, which felt considerate), and then I brought the next person. Many more awful things happened and in the end Creil-Creil became very hated (not by me, I loved her); I had villagers with pitchforks wanting to kill her and signing petitions, and then! Pandolf got stuck in a badger’s hole and she crawled out of her fish tank and dug him out with her little claws, so she became a hero. I was so happy, everyone was cheering her (not clapping, on account of all the missing hands.) You can tell my brain was desperate to get people to love this poor misunderstood little evil thing so it went like..... and then she saved a dog’s life!!! The end <3

#i wanted to upload a pandolf-in-the-snow video and forgot so i will say in my defence that i spent the whole day thinking about Her