#i was suggesting one friend that i could play genshin w her if she ever needed help w leveling | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

askinswife · 21 days

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[pt.2]

ROBLOX I used to play on roblox a lot as a way to distract myself asides from watching animation memes on youtube from my household that were- very bad- and I gained a few friends that I talked to, this cool dude that I forgot his name, snow, and Ailey. this cool dude I now lost him as a whole because I thought he was a creep for asking for my facebook and uh.. well it was too late now when I realized how wrong I was and that I'll actually will never be able to talk with him ever again, he w as also one of the kindest guy now that I keep looking at the old chats. Snow were a friend that I talked to and played games with a lot until she starts getting distant, starts playing games without me and whenever I join the game she's playing a few seconds later she'll immediately leave and after a while of that she told me she'll be getting genshin and then completely leave me for months until she came back and says she was so busy playing genshin and after a while of me telling her I won't be getting genshin because the size is too big she ended up unfriending me a few days later- her account is still there, still exist, she just randomly unfriended me. Ailey were a friend I also frequently talked to and she invited me on discord.. which I did join later and I abandoned my roblox account after this [5-11 years old me]

TUMBLR I joined tumblr like 3 years ago and I was a blog with twice themed because I was in my MHA phase until I found these cool KNY rp blogs and I starts interacting with them until I remade my entire account into a self insert but then changed my mind and turned it into an oc and RPed with people in the KNY community and then drags into BLEACH rp community and I was very interested when I saw Grimmjow which he was what was got me into BLEACH in the first place same with Szayel. I met my ex-girlfriend when she was RPING as szayel. after a while doe' I was rping with this one oc and all of a sudden I was blocked by most of the people I used to rp with?? I was very confused until I asked the person about it and seeing some post about it and apparently it was about the person ooc mispronouncing them or something? even then I still don't quite get why allat happened and I still don't understand what is even the context of it. I also used to rp a lot of suggestive stuff on here due to hormones and maybe hypersexuality? not sure but it was still a way I was coping with life too by rping suggestive stuff. after a while I saw a rp server on discord that I could join from a Giyuu rp account and I joined immediately which leads to.. a far worse possibility- [11-12 years old me]

TWITTER joined twitter a while back.. my whole account theme used to be purely Shinji because I was hyperfixating on Shinji until I moved to Askin and I found this cool person named Askinfection/xdb which is who I nicknamed as moth and we used to be very great friends even after only a bit of knowing each other! but after a bit my abandonment issues was acting up so I self sabotaged the relationship and left without a word until they found me again and we became friends after being gone from each other for weeks? months? not sure. but then everything starts falling downhill after this and I will provide screenshots after I talked about this. a lot of shit happened and then it was Christmas. they told me we'll be making up in spring so I didn't thought they were gonna sent me anything but in the end they did and it was. uh.

yeah. it pretty much brings my whole mood down. had an entire mental breakdown about this in one of my friend's dm too. I have lashed out at them in specific on my main twitter on the tl about THEM. and lashed out at them in THEIR DM which they also saw. also!! fun fact!! i apologized on my twt for lashing out and being angry and for some reason they? only liked that? it felt so. weird to me cuz it felt like they only acknowledge my apology and not how angry and sad I got over them sending me that message, and I knew they were active- they even tag me in a tagging game thing which I did not participate. ghosted me for 11 days until they softblocked me and another mental breakdown in friend's dm. and they have also unfriended me on discord too which makes it more clear that the softblock, was indeed, intentional. and then they have the guts to say this.

did they realize they treated me wrongly at all? well I supposed the screenshot says itself!

and after the whole blocking thing for months I unblocked them and they immediately followed me and we have a talk.. which also leads to them blocking me and our friendship was finally reaching its own end even though I didn't wanted it at all and cut down a piece of myself and it felt like I keep cutting down the pieces more and more smaller just so they can digest it but they're not even trying at ALL to understand me and it was really clear. [14 years old me] SCREENSHOT PROOF

PETS I had a lot of pets. the first one was some fishes which died for some reason that I still don't know- most likely because I didn't change the water and I didn't knew how to. second one was a black cat which die most likely due to poisoning and I saw its corpse right by the trashcan when I took out the trash at night and all I could do was stands there and calmly just looking at it and not being able to cry. the third one was another cat, pure white one which die from a car running over em and I found it again by my own eyes because I thought the loud noise of my mother closing the window was from outside so I go and checked and I saw my cat laying in a pool of water which I was confused on why until I walked closer and it was blood, the eye was even out of its socket. I stood there staring at it until I called my parents and they both cried, not me, I didn't knew how to because I have completely suppressed myself from crying. fourth and fifth one was two rabbits, light brown and gray, both died most likely from a sickness. sixth, seventh and eight one was stray dogs that died from illness. ninth one was a cat that recently died from illness too. I now have 1 dog and 5 cats

[there's also trauma from discord but I can't post it for some reason so for summary; get in server, get ignored constantly, no one likes me, excluded me and have made me almost commit and make me have multiple mental breakdowns and panic attacks, almost got groomed and have been shown nudes on the first few days on discord, lost multiple friends/friends leaving me causing me to have heavy abandonment issues and heavier issues of self-sabotaging]

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