#i would be impossible to resist if only i—*sigh* 😮‍💨 you're right‚ just fuck it all 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[jimkirkachu]

mentally planning out the most elaborate and amazing date/romantic vacation ideas before remembering that no one has ever wanted you even as a last resort: priceless

#not trek #personal log #early morning thoughts #insomnia #yucky head cold sore throat it's been 3 days since i could talk out loud! #boooooooooooooooo hiss #somebody call the waambulance plz #forever alone #forever single #frustrating paradox #i feel like i would be a phenomenal romantic partner if only relationships didn't involve jealousy anxiety paranoia ptsd insecurity etc #or like. communication #or the other person ever having to actually Look At or Be Near me #i think maybe my head is a balloon 👀🎈 #ooooooooooo lol like in those old sudafed ads where the little cartoon people are spaced out and their brains float away 🎈🎈🎈 #idk wtf this is but maybe my painkillers are finally kicking in again yayyy #edit w/ slightly more sentience: srsly like local apple orchard shenanigans. grand canyon/other natl park exploring. carnivals hikes idk #stuff that would all end up costing far more money than i have and probably more than anybody else has either #i would treat them so good if i had all the money/resources and any of those charming personality or physical traits i dream about having #i would be impossible to resist if only i—*sigh* 😮‍💨 you're right‚ just fuck it all 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨