#i’ll eat like a wren. a sparrow. a hare. a lamb

[afieldinengland]

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#calming myself down. i think i’m making sense of it— speaking to pan #‘indulgence’ is a word that means many things to many people. i do not think i personally am intended to ‘indulge’ in bread #not that i cannot— simply that that is not my ‘indulgence’ of choice. #my indulgence is in my worship— my art my thought. my love #it’s all worship. but pan brings me to his lap with a small stomach #there was recognition in the becoming that brought me out of winter and into pan’s sight. i’m meant to eat birdlike— harelike. #when i’m in control of what i buy and eat that’s what i do. i eat very little but i eat fruit and drink water and milk— and bread too. #in moderation. so i will fast— i will still fast. what i won’t do is attempt to inflict last winter’s rules on this winter’s behaviour. #it’s not a violent sacrifice for an impassive god. it’s simply running lean as a hare should. #perhaps this all sounds like the ramblings of a madman. or like nothing at all. what it has done is calmed me down significantly #i’ll fast. the same the same the same. but it isn’t an act of guilt nor is it cruelty #it’s what i’d do anyway. really it is. and i’ll be responsible about it #you can rejoice in the bacchanal without overgorging on food. moderation. the hare-prince is looking at the sun again #maybe it’s all an overdramatic way to say i’ll lose weight carefully. again. my ‘careful’ is not someone else’s ‘careful’. but i will. #i’ll eat like a wren. a sparrow. a hare. a lamb