#i’ve got like 5/6 unfinished mdzs fics squirreled away on my laptop a few tolkien fics and even a few star wars fics left

[twilightofthe]

writing patterns tag game

Rules: list the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!

tagged by @loosingmoreletters thank youuuu but i feel bad i haven’t star warsed on main really since the depression diagnosis which has been a few years so the first 4 fics aren’t even SW ;_; Also i put some of my parts from our collab fics to make me feel better about only having published/updated two (2) solo things within the last couple of years xD

Ok but here goes:

1. It’s just after midnight and Wei Ying is mournfully attempting to wash away his blue balls under the tepid-instead-of-cold shower head.

2. Blacking out after summoning however many the fuck demons who live in your head into the living realm does not always last for long, because blacking out means means you’re retreating inside your head where the demons run amok and they really make shitty company for any extended period of time, so sooner rather than later you end up dragging yourself back to consciousness just to avoid them.

3. The thing about being dead is that it’s a very distinct sensation, putting things if not lightly then the only possible way to put them because how does one explain the feeling of death to someone who has never experienced it before?

4. “Hmm…”

5. After two weeks of traveling at sublight with only the distant, unforgiving stars and his own dwindling sanity for comfort, the far-off, twinkling gem of a planet through the viewport would almost be enough to make Obi-Wan cry if crying didn’t take energy.

6. The first time it happens can be blamed on Anakin’s love of questionable quality holofilms.

7. Whenever Anakin thought about maybe changing his mind on his shift-form, he always reminded himself of the massive amounts of hair over the furniture shed from Obi Wan and Ahsoka alone, and how he was more than happy to not add to it.

8. Considering what had happened the last time he was there, Din Djarin hadn’t planned to set foot in the same star system as Tatooine anytime soon, let alone on the planet itself.

9. Anakin was having a shitty day.

10. Trace doesn’t know how long it had been exactly since Ahsoka left them when the galaxy fell apart.

.

Ok, that’s the past 10! What i realize from them is that firstly, I’m an absolute run-on sentence whore and proud of it lol. Secondly, I internalized WAY too much paranoia about what constitutes a good hook because all of these read like “omg please be drawn in PLEASE be drawn in”. Like they’re not bad, but I can recognize myself and my intentions in my words and I see my eagerness. It’s kind of sweet.

Secondly, I realize that I do really miss Star Wars, but i think a combination of pandemic, a sudden depression diagnosis, and some unpleasant interactions ended up like. Tainting my memories of writing from that era and making it really hard to come back. Plus now I’ve got a newer hyperfixation and i keep reading a bunch of fic for it and stalking people’s tumblr blogs but also doing zero creation of anything to participate. I’ve gotten into some other fandoms in the past two years that make up the first four fics on the list, but even then it’s been hard to publish things that haven’t just been gift fics for my friends, jokes i can take a little less seriously, and collabs that make me less anxious as there’s numbers involved. I really do miss writing though. Like I’m a p decent writer I think, of course I’ve got much to improve, but reading through this and it is NOT as bad as I thought it would be, it’s good! But I wish I hadn’t abandoned so many sw fics, people have been so NICE, and it just feels like I’ve let them down. But I can’t even remember my original ending plans for so much of it and Disney continuing to leech all the joy and energy out of the series hasn’t helped either. But I am still insisting that I’ll be back one day. I will.

#i’ve got like 5/6 unfinished mdzs fics squirreled away on my laptop a few tolkien fics and even a few star wars fics left