#idk like i have several hobbies but this one is my primary life focus and i will live and die for it

[angelhound]

feeling personally victimized that ptv did not play their new song when i saw them bc i have heard 30 seconds of it that were leaked and it’s literally. so good it hurts my feelings. going to kill myself later when it comes out

#i think that last sentence may not make sense to the general public #idk how else to describe it #my life will begin and be over simultaneously #idk every time i find a new song that feels like this i think i am dying and being born #i think most recently the last song that was like this was jeff yr friend who cares by wasted space #maybe last month idk 2 months ago #its still a banger i could rip off my skin listening #this is about emergency contact #coming out tonight/tomorrow btw idk i feel like it was unclear #NO it might have been tommys car on carpools new album i rlly fucked w it #but idk that ones not quite the rip ur own legs off kind of love it #im going to have to make a list because i keep thinking of new ones ugh i love sound #no one but me wants to listen to a ‘songs that you could rip your legs off to’ playlist but i will be making it anyways #everyone tells me lately i spend too much time focused on music but i dont care im going to make my whole life about it actually #idk like i have several hobbies but this one is my primary life focus and i will live and die for it #hater mentality because u dont have something like that #why not make my life about what i am alive for #im here to be in love & make and experience sound thats it babe #im transcending the limits of my body in the act of creation #call me unrealistic and u might me right but i found out id rather be dead if i dont live the way i feel thats how i got here in the first #place. Its this or throw myself off a cliff and i kind of want to live so. i gotta follow the soul mission yk? #idk i get shit for everything people tell me im selfish for this because of course Everyone wants to live how they want but they cant #but idk what to about that other people should do it too then. maybe the pressure to do so isnt as agressive as it is for me otherwise #i cant imagine feeling like i do and not having this be the only option #also how is it negatively effecting u that im living in a way that makes me happy independently 🤔 #i dont think i am doing anything special im really just living and thats an option for Everyone #I hope everyone finds out u can do whatever u want if u want it bad enough