#if i do wear a binder i cant breathe and cant stop sweating

[ducktollers]

imma keep it real with u guys idk how im gonna stand the anxiety this semester . and i must stand it i have no choice

#grin and bear it. i am so TIRED of grinning and bearing it #actually im not grinning . im glaring to stop my eyes from watering or staring at my hands fidgeting while i bear it #university is just like. i dont belong here. i shouldnt be here. ur all so passionate abt this and i didnt even do the reading. #im too scared to make eye contact or talk . and then i get sad and insecure abt always being the odd one out. while i glare at the floor #every semester i say my name and lie and say sheher pronouns and it makes me taste bile. and i cant stop sweating. and i hate it here. #someone has to sit right next to me and suddenly my breath probably stinks. i probably stink. my skin looks so bad. my hair looks so bad. #and i stare at my lap and see my big ass thighs and im like Oh yeah im a woman. thanks i hate it. if i dont wear a binder i feel sick #if i do wear a binder i cant breathe and cant stop sweating #im tense all day. my whole body hurts. im too anxious to eat. i should bc my stomach will growl.if i eat my stomach will gurgle loud anyway. #i need to get out of here. im so close to the end. ive been dying inside for years. ive never been anything but a student. im terrified. #🙂 #u know. its like that #x