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geralts-yenn · 6 months

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Fighting demons

Evan Marshall x female reader (second-person pov)

summary: You've been in a relationship with Evan for a while now, but somehow you are still stuck on first base. You start questioning if he's really that into you.

warnings: 18+, minors DNI! feeling of being rejected, mentioning of violence and trauma, scars, drinking alcohol, vaginal fingering, oral (f receiving), hand job, protected p-in-v sex

word count: 4,3k

A/N: Ever since I started I need you know and brothers and beers, Evan spends a lot of time in my head. Which is nice 😁 And as a nonnie (is this always the same one? I guess so, anyway, thank you 🥰) asked for a next part, here it is...

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You adjusted the splint to your arm. Contently, you looked at yourself in the mirror. The weeks you had your arm in the cast were hard to endure. It was a relief that you were finally able to dress yourself without help. Although you had to admit that you really enjoyed when Evan helped you change your clothes. At least then you’d get some skin on skin contact with him.

It was about time that this happened in a different setting, you thought with a frown. But somehow it just didn’t. Evan came over to you every day. You ate dinner together, talked, cuddled on the couch while watching TV. He loved to kiss you senseless. But every time your hand tried to get under his shirt he stopped you.

First you thought he just wanted to take it slow, but now it had been weeks that you were together, and you felt like something was off. You should finally find the courage to ask him what was wrong. However, knowing yourself, you doubted this was happening.

Walter watched Evan with his eyebrows drawn together as he gulped down the rest of his beer. He quickly got used to seeing his brother happy, so now that Evan was brooding again, Walter was worried.

“Would you please talk to me?” he asked with a sigh. Evan didn't raise his head, he kept his eyes on the bottle that he turned between his hands nervously. A bitter chuckle left his lips.

“What do you want to hear? That I'm fucking it up? That I'm too stupid to hold onto the one good thing that’s happened to me in a long time?” His eyes finally met Walter's. And his brother recognized the fear and desperation in Evan’s eyes. Walt put a hand over Evan's to stop him from rolling the bottle over the table. “Already thought it was about your girl. What happened?”

Evan clenched his jaw. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. But he knew his older brother well enough to know that Walter wouldn't stop asking.

“It's more about what is NOT happening.” Evan shook his head, snorting, averting his eyes again.

“I can't, Walter. Every day I think I'm finally ready for it. To show it to her. To tell her. But as soon as she touches me, I'm freaking out.” Evan ran a hand over his face, biting on the knuckle of his index finger. He was searching for the right words while his brother watched him patiently.

“I don't want her to know. She's so innocent, so pure. I can't bring myself to be the one to tell her what a horrible world we're living in.”

Walter was quiet for quite some time before he finally answered. “Don’t sacrifice yourself. Not again. You’re allowed to be happy.” Evan opened his mouth to answer, but Walter held up his hand to stop him. “You don’t have to tell her everything. If she’s just half as wonderful as you say, she’ll understand. But don’t make her feel like it’s her fault. She doesn’t deserve that. And you don’t, either.”

When you opened the door for him, Evan greeted you with his adorable smile. “Baby, you look gorgeous.” His eyes traveled over your whole body, admiring your blouse and the jeans that hugged your curves just perfectly.

“Enjoying your freedom without the cast?” he asked before pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

You leaned into his caress with a hum. “I really do.” You bit on your lower lip, smiling mischievously at your boyfriend. ”I hope I get to enjoy it a little more tonight.”

Evan chuckled, but you couldn’t fight the nagging feeling that he just didn’t want to take the hint.

And as you rolled your hips you felt his erection press against your core. At least now you knew that your efforts didn’t leave him unaffected. You let your hand travel down over the firm muscles of his back and pressed yourself tight against his chest. You wished your second hand could join you in your explorations, but at least the splint wasn’t that much of an obstruction as the cast had been.

He let go of you and walked into your kitchen “We still have time before we have to leave. I told Walter we’d be there by eight. Have you eaten yet?” You followed him and took his hand. Your eyes locked with his as you pulled him with you to the couch. “I did. The only hunger that needs to be tended to right now is for you to kiss me. You pushed him to sit and straddled his thighs. That was your favorite place to be in the world. Your hand found its way to the back of his head, your nails raking through his short velvety hair. Evan sighed as he shut his eyes. “This feels good.” Evan’s hands settled on your hips, pulling you closer.

The kiss you shared started off gently but the two of you didn’t waste much time before you deepened it. Evan’s tongue brushed over your lips, and you opened them for him. The touch of your tongues, the taste of Evan in your mouth, shot electric shocks right through you. Longingly, you squirmed in his arms. Damn, he was a good kisser.

Evan grabbed your ass and pressed you against his hard length and you answered with a desperate moan. Without thinking, your hand found the hem of his shirt and your fingers sneaked under it, feeling the heat of his bare skin.

Evan’s whole body tensed and he pulled his lips from yours. Nervously he glanced at his watch. “I think we should go, Walter is early most of the time anyway.” He didn’t even look you in the eyes.

Frustrated, you dragged your leg over him and slumped down onto your couch. “What is this, Evan? The one moment you’re all over me and the next you stop and act as if nothing had happened? Did I misread this whole thing? Don’t you want me?”

Evan sighed, and you noticed that he was still averting his gaze. “I want you. I really do. It’s just… difficult. We’ll talk about it, I promise. Just give me a little more time.”

You got up and adjusted your blouse, your eyes brimming with tears. Evan followed and wrapped his arms around you. “I'm sorry. It's not because of you. You are perfect.” He kissed the top of your head.

You fought back the tears and nodded. “Okay, we'll talk about it another time. Let's go and meet your brother.”

Walter smiled when he saw the two of you enter the pub. It was a nice change to see Evan with his arm wrapped around a girl. He stood to greet you, surprising you with a warm hug.

And soon you decided that Walter was pleasant company. Not much of a talker but a great listener with a soft smile and kind eyes, watching you attentively.

“That obvious, huh? I really don’t want to push anything. His rejection just makes me so awfully insecure. And I’m scared of losing him.” Now it was Walter’s turn to shake his head.

But as much as you tried to enjoy your evening, there was this tension between you and Evan. You were nervous and insecure. Not a feeling that was foreign to you. With Evan though, it was new. You didn’t dare to touch him and the few times his hands brushed over your body, you flinched. Evan seemed to be tense, too. You missed the smile that was usually on his lips when he looked at you.

When Evan left for the restrooms, you felt Walter’s hand grab yours. “Don’t question his feelings for you. He likes you, very much so. You just have to be patient with him. He’s got some demons to deal with.” You shook your head, a small smile for Walter on your lips.

“You’re not going to lose him.” He paused for a brief moment, looking deep into your eyes, as if he needed to decide if he should go on. “You know, there’s a reason why I check on him daily. He’s been through a hard time. But if you keep showing him that he can trust you, that he is safe with you, he’ll open up. It’s going to be fine.” Walter chuckled softly. “Damn, you should hear how he talks about you. He’s head over heels, trust me.”

“Thank you, Walter. Guess it’s time for me to be patient and take care. I owe it to him after everything he’s done for me.”

Evan got back to you and as he sat down, you took his hand and laced your fingers with his. The surprise that flashed over his face turned into a smile that grew wider as you snuggled into his chest. Across the table you saw how Walter gave you a small wink.

As you stood on your porch, Evan pressed a little kiss on your forehead. “Thank you for the evening. It was a nice change after sitting on the couch for weeks,” you told him and you meant it. After your little talk with Walter, you felt better than the last days, when you had been questioning Evan’s feelings for you.

“Actually, I was hoping to get onto your couch for a little more tonight.” Evan whispered as his lips moved across your neck, spreading kisses on your skin in between every word.

He pinned you to your door, his mouth crashing onto yours. His tongue brushed over your lips and you pliantly opened them for him, inviting his tongue to explore you. You moaned into his mouth as his teeth caught your lower lip. But then he pulled away from you and you took a deep breath to fill your lungs again. He lifted his head and locked his eyes with yours. You had never seen him like this. It was as if he were staring right into your soul. “I need to tell you about something.”

Your heart was racing and your hands trembled as you unlocked the door. Whatever it was, what Evan had to tell you, you felt that it was going to change your relationship with him. But if the way he kissed you gave anything away, you were not going to lose him. At least that was what you were trying to tell yourself as you stepped into your house with him, ignoring the panic that started to rise in your chest.

You kicked off your shoes and Evan took your hand to guide you to the couch. He sat down and pulled you onto his lap. As if he knew how much you felt safe and sheltered in his arms. You let out a breath you hadn’t even noticed you were holding.

“I’m sorry!” he began. “I know I hurt you with my behavior. But that was never my intention.” His hand cupped your cheek as he watched you with a sad expression on his face.

“There’s something I need to show you, so you understand.”

Evan moved you to sit on the couch and kneeled on the floor before you. He held your hands in his and shut his eyes, clearly needing a moment to go on. A moment that you gladly gave him, now that he finally trusted you enough to open up to you. Evan took a sharp breath and then he grabbed the hem of his shirt with crossed arms and pulled it over his head. The dim light in the room fell onto his chest and you gasped. There were deep scars carved into his skin. Scars that clearly weren’t caused by an accident. They were forming a cryptic symbol on his chest.

Your hand reached out but you stopped yourself before you met his skin, not sure if he could endure your touch. But Evan took your hand in his and guided it to his chest. Under your fingers you felt his heart beating excruciatingly fast.

Your voice broke when you finally dared to speak. “What happened to you, Evan?” you asked him, not sure if you really wanted to hear the answer. But Evan took the decision on that upon himself.

“I can’t tell you, my love. Not because I don’t trust you.” He pulled you closer to him, his eyes not moving from yours as he pressed his forehead against yours. “It’s because I need to protect you. There are things in this world that I don’t want you to know about. Things I wish I could forget, too. But I can’t.” He pressed a soft kiss on your cheek. “But when I’m with you, I’m as far away from these horrible memories as I can be, and I’m so incredibly thankful to have you in my life. You fill my heart with love and happiness instead.”

He moved your hand with his over his scarred skin. “Can you be with me, even if I can’t tell you everything about my past?” You noticed the fear in his voice at his question. Evan was scared of losing you, too, you realized. And that was when something in you broke and you started crying.

You couldn’t fully process what all of this meant, but one thing you were sure of: The man who kneeled in front of you was honestly asking you to be part of his life and you wanted nothing more than this. It didn’t matter that he wouldn’t tell you about the scars. It didn’t matter what had happened in the past. Evan had made your life so much better in the past weeks and if he wanted you to be there for him, you would. Your heart was his.

And that’s what you told him. In between sobs, you told him that it’s okay, that you want him to be part of your life. And then you said something, way too soon, but it was the truth and when it was out you couldn’t take it back anymore. “I love you, Evan.” It was just a whisper, but he heard it and his eyes got wide. And then he kissed you in a way he had never before.

All the emotions washed over you as your lips and tongues moved so desperately against each other. You slipped from the couch right into Evan’s lap. He held you so tight that you could hardly breathe, but you just didn’t care. Hectically, he pulled your blouse out of your jeans and as his hands touched your bare waist, you let out a desperate moan. He had touched you there before, when he had helped you get changed, but now it felt different. You needed to feel him. You needed to feel all of him. With urgency, you started to pull the straps on your splint to get rid of it. Evan helped you with the trained movements of a medic, and he pressed soft kisses down your arm when it was finally free.

You got up and pulled Evan with you. In between kisses and touches, you both stumbled into your bedroom. Somehow Evan had managed to open all the buttons of your blouse when you stopped at the edge of your bed. Evan’s chest was heaving as he watched you. His fingers brushed over your skin. Starting at your neck, he trailed down your collarbone to your sternum and the valley between your breasts. His thumb brushed over your hardened nipple that was clearly visible through the sheer fabric of your bra.

Your own hands moved along his sides. Your injured arm felt inept but the sensation of feeling Evan’s warm skin under your touch was worth every effort. You nipped at his throat and got a deep moan in response.

Evan slowly guided you to lay onto the mattress and brushed your blouse down your shoulders while doing so. He settled between your legs and resumed his assault on your mouth. Your breath hitched as you felt him running his hands over your body, one finally resting on your chest while the other trailed down your side. When he met your hip you couldn’t stop yourself from lifting it, pressing yourself against him. You felt like you had never been so desperate to be touched. There was a longing deep inside of you that needed to be stilled.

“Please, Evan!” you begged, not knowing what exactly you were asking of him, but Evan knew better than yourself what you were craving. His slender fingers finally started to unbutton your jeans and he crawled backwards to pull them from your legs. He moved up your body again, spreading kisses over your thighs as he passed them and you gasped when he stopped with his face just inches from your throbbing core.

“May I?” he asked you, his voice gravelly and thick as his fingers hooked under the elastics of your panties. You weren't able to do anything else but nod, but for Evan this was enough to go on, and he rolled down your satin underwear. A toothy smile, stretching from ear to ear, slowly emerged on his face as he noticed the damp spot that had formed on the fabric.

He started with chaste kisses and little nips, trailing excruciatingly slow from your belly downwards. Moving almost carefully, his tongue parted your folds, and brushed ever so lightly over your hooded clit. You whimpered, your hands cradling his head to show him that you wanted him exactly where he was. Keeping his slow pace, he lapped and sucked your sensitive pearl. His fingers circled your entrance to gather your arousal before he pushed one into you. You cried out his name at the sensation, and you felt Evan’s lips forming into a content smile. He added a second finger, pumping into you, searching for your most sensitive spot, while his mouth kept working on your clit. Evan growled as he felt your walls tighten around his digits and he doubled his efforts until he brought you over the edge. Your legs clenched around his head as you came all over his mouth.

Evan wiggled himself free from where you had trapped him, chuckling. “Oh my god, sorry!” you gasped, opening your legs to let him go. But Evan laughed quietly. “Don’t apologize for this, please” he told you, and you saw in his eyes that he meant it.

You were still a little embarrassed but decided to ignore it, so you pulled Evan up to you and distracted yourself by pressing a firm kiss on his lips. Evan answered with the same enthusiasm, parting his lips for you. His hands were on your chest again, rolling your hardened buds between his fingers. You moaned into his mouth as you felt the tension in your core build again.

Careful, not to overburden your injured arm, you guided Evan to lay down on his back. “Please help me balance out that wardrobe situation, Evan!” you requested and he obliged gladly. He got rid of his pants and briefs in a few fast movements and let himself fall back on the bed again. When you rolled half on top of him, his hands moved to the clasp of your bra that he was now so used to open and close. You dropped your last piece of garment on the floor and finally took in the sight in front of you. Evan lay on your bed, his chest heaving and watching you with hooded eyes. Your eyes moved from his beautiful face down his chest where his scars stood out over the rest of his skin that was covered in a soft tuft of hair. His frame formed a V, wide shoulders and a narrow waist. You traced the line of his Adonis belt with your fingers and Evan’s hard cock twitched in response.

You took this as an invitation and wrapped your hand around his length. Evan moaned as you trailed your thumb from the head to the root of his dick, tracing a vein. Then you tightened your grip again and started to stroke him in languid motions. “Fuck, baby, this feels so good!” Evan cursed. “Please! I need to feel you.”

Without any hesitation, you reached for your nightstand and grabbed a condom from the drawer. You had been waiting for this long enough, now that he was finally ready, you needed to feel Evan inside of you. You sheathed his cock and stroked him a few more times while you straddled his thighs. Evan looked up at you with an expression you couldn’t quite name. It was lust, but mixed with something else. Could it be adoration? Whatever it was, the look he gave you sent a million butterflies through your stomach.

You lifted your hips and guided his cock to your entrance. His face lit up in a soft smile that only half hid his desperation when you stopped moving for a second. But when you sank down on him, he lost control over his emotions. He threw his head back with a loud growl, his hands grabbing the sheets.

You resisted the urge to move faster, trying to adjust your breathing with Evan’s as you started to roll your hips. Your eyes gazing at each other, you slowly moved up and down, engulfing his cock in your warmth. Hands found each other and you laced your fingers with Evan’s. He bit his lip as he watched you move on top of him. “Damn, baby, you’re beautiful.” he hummed, barely audible. His hands moved along the insides of your arms, making you shiver, until they were wrapped around your breasts. He rolled and pinched your hardened nipples and kneaded the soft flesh of your mounds as you rode him.

He looked stunning, his face covered in a thin layer of sweat, his eyes half shut in lust. You leaned down and kissed him. Your tongues danced in the same lazy rhythm as your hips. But with the new angle, your bundle of nerves brushed over Evan with every move and you soon lost your will to go slow. You increased your pace and Evan followed you, burying his heels into the bed, so he could thrust up to you.

You felt how both of you got more and more consumed with desire. When you left his lips, leaning up again, you pulled Evan with you. You both wrapped your arms and legs around each other, getting as close as possible. Eyes locked on one another, you started to move faster again, rolling and grinding your hips. Evan rutted into you with the same hunger for release. And it didn’t take long until you felt your climax build and you cried out his name when it washed over you. Evan buried himself deep into you a few more times until he found his own relief.

Both of you let your heads fall onto the other's shoulder, gasping for air. When he had steadied his breath again, Evan rolled you onto the bed and finally pulled out of you. You sighed as he left you empty, but Evan made up for it by covering your face and neck in kisses. After a deep and passionate kiss, he got up and took care of the condom. You stood, too and went for the bathroom. When you had finished cleaning up you watched yourself in the mirror and couldn’t suppress a giggle. Your cheeks were flushed and you looked positively spent. But when you got back into your bedroom your smile froze on your face. Evan was fully clothed, he had even gotten his shirt that he had left on the couch. He was ready to leave you.

“Please stay!” you told him, not hiding the disappointment in your voice. Evan sighed and pulled you into a tight embrace. “Sorry, baby, but I don’t think this is a good idea.” He pressed a kiss on op of your head. “I’m having trouble sleeping, and I don’t want to meddle with your rest.” he looked apologetic at you, but you shook your head stubbornly.

“No! You’ll stay. I need you here with me tonight.” you told him decisively. Evan frowned, still hesitant over the idea of spending the night in your bed. But when you started undressing him again, he didn’t protest. “I will probably be tossing around. Maybe even shouting” was his last objection that you just ignored. Then he helped you to get him out of his clothes again. You crawled under your duvet and you gladly took the place in his arm that he offered you, resting your head on his chest. The chest that he had hidden from you for so long. A single tear ran down your cheek as you realized how much it meant for him to let you near.

You were woken up by a hand gripping tight on your waist and quiet whimpers at your neck. It took you a moment until you remembered it was Evan lying next to you. The dim light of your alarm clock told you it was shortly after 4am. You turned and saw his face illuminated faintly, a grimace of pain written on it. “No!” he whispered in between sobs. “No, please! Let me go!”

“Shush” you cooed. “You’re safe. I’m here, Evan, and you are safe.” You wrapped your arms tight around him and covered his face in kisses, softly whispering more soothing words to him. After a while, he relaxed. His face softened and he had stopped the whimpers that had held your heart in a tight grip. You pressed another kiss on his cheek and Evan finally opened his eyes. His expression lit up as he saw you and you let out a breath you were holding when a smile formed on his lips. Evan pulled you even tighter, as close as possible, before kissing the corner of your mouth. “Thank you!” he mumbled with a hoarse voice. And after another of those deep stares right into your soul, he added: “I love you, too.”

#evan marshall fanfiction #evan marshall fanfic #evan #fighting demons #my writing

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