#im also looking for someone to help me build a budget because i have dyscalculia and its a struggle for me to actually MAKE the budget

[shadyhouse]

i have to go off of hrt for the first time in three years because i ran out of syringes and i dont have insurance anymore so im going to have to order bulk online but its going to cost $100+ for everything i need. which i dont have because i live paycheck to paycheck. i literally got paid TODAY and it was one of the biggest paychecks ive seen since ive started this job and it immediately had to go to bills.

i cant switch jobs either because i dont have transportation and it's my best option for keeping myself afloat. i cant ask for a raise because it's a retail big box store. like they might give me 10 extra cents to pity me if i don't start a fight about it but it'll never get better than that. every time i look on indeed or whatever it's all stuff thats a 20+ minute drive completely off the bus route like ????

im extremely unmedicated too (not including the hrt lol) so that just makes everything harder to the extreme. im ready to give up. like what else is there for me. there's nothing left. im at the point where i keep thinking i mind as well just move back in with my dad and rot in my old bedroom because im losing faith in myself that i'll be able to get out of this hole. the absolute last thing i ever want to do btw. but if things keep getting worse i dont know if i'll have a choice. and im really really really dreading that outcome. i need to fix my life asap but the system is making it INCREDIBLY DIFFICULT to even plan it out.

if anyone knows how to build a budget id really appreciate some help because i have dyscalculia and it sucks to be talked down to about my inability to comprehend numbers, but im really not THAT bad with my finances its just that i made some bad decisions when i had a higher paying job and i'm having trouble pulling myself out of the hole. i can follow a budget if i have one set but i've been really struggling with making it myself. idk. im mad at myself okay im just really upset and i want to fix my life.

this turned into a rambling rant but im in a really bad mood rn and i needed to just. unload. its either this or ugly cry for an hour

#its just venting im like one bad day away from having a full breakdown and even then its not like thatll help or fix anything #i just dont know what to do anymore dude there's nothing left. what do i even do now. nothing matters #im also looking for someone to help me build a budget because i have dyscalculia and its a struggle for me to actually MAKE the budget #but im more than capable of following it once i have it set up. if i think of my finances like im in a video game its a lot easier for me