#im glad i had sh/unazu and iz/lo to explore these feelings bc

[nazuna-tunnel-vision]

i love getting stupidly invested in characters. i use the whole hyperfixation as a blotch test to externalise and explore all the hang ups i didn't know i had and/or don't dare to face head-on.

#me connecting the dots and realising why sh/unazu and iz/lo have such a chokehold over me #its the platonic breakups that fuck you up for years #the i miss you i hate you i hurt you im sorry #the i know you were hurting but you hurt me too #i know i was hurting but i hurt you bad. im sorry. i cant fix this. it was better for us to part ways. it was unsalvageable #the thinking about our best days still makes me smile i still miss it i wish we could go back to those times sometimes #then i remember that we both were in terrible places back then. we were a ticking time bomb #the i still care about you i hope youre doing better now i hope we never fucking meet again #me in 2020 wondering subcobsciously zooming in on sh/unazu: im sure this doesnt mean anything #im glad i had sh/unazu and iz/lo to explore these feelings bc #theyre still so enormous and overwhelming #i dont think i would hv had the clarity to put all this into words if i didnt have #these chars for me to see it from a more detached perspective #anw problematic dynamics in fiction are so important to me <3 #anw just a thought but why is sh/nz deemed problematic when iz/lo gets a pass #literally sh/nz is healthier than iz 'you gave your life to me im not giving it back' lo #i have so many sh/nz mutuals who had to go priv bc some randos come at them for liking a ''''problematic ship''''