#im gna be ok!! needed to ramble a bit though

[noxtivagus]

HDJFJSJSKFNS THINKING ABT HERMES ALREADY WHEN I WOKE UP

#🌙.rambles #ok still im gna try to do what i can even if it Hurts #how will i be able to really get anywhere if i let this bring me down???? #it fucking hurts but i can't give up. even if it hurts me i need to do better i fucking NEED to be better #not enough.... it's not enough #god i was thinking earlier though of how similar hermes n i are #🥹 if he managed to cope for that long then. i can too #i say that but he basically ended up breaking down. forgetting saved him #but that is still remembered in his soul.... #n so his shard. sigh. god i cld ramble so much him more but that'll be so much spoilers #i love all his characters so much. it hurts #AH I FEEL A BIT BETTER AGAIN I LOVE FFXIV #thinking about mitron n gaia too 🥺 god #actually no ! i feel like crying again remembering i lost the videos of my nier automata stream when i finally started out #i took them. but they expired in my twitch drafts.... i only was able to download the first few then i forgot #apollo's gna start themself in a bit n im not sure what /i/ should do. thinking about it hurts #it started w my friends right ? n then . around the end i remember one of my ffxiv friends dropped by #god wait no back to hermes. that pain was so very engraved in his soul. #but he's such a kind n soft n gentle person.... but that nihilism basically broke him. #god i'm thinking of noctis again n i really love final fantasy #oh no i feel extremely anxious again i wna go back to sleep 🥹 #do i restart nier. so i can replay those parts. or do i just try to remember. or. i just continue playing n just write what i remember #this isn't the first time i've made a similar mistake n my god it weighd me down so much #i don't want to think right now. every moment that i think just weighs me down. it hurts. i need to do better #FIRST i shld really stop rambling n get to fucking doing stuff