#im gonna laugh if i get a bipolar dx but it doesnt seem right

[machinedramon]

legit wondering if when I start going to the doc for all my physical shit I should ask abt who I should see abt maybe getting mood stabilizers

i'm sick of this unending cycle of getting eight million ideas and scrambling from one to the next before burning myself out on all of them and falling into a depression and hating myself for not doing any of the eight million things I was excited about

#i am losing my fucking mind here i cant fucking take it anymore #i dont think im bipolar i just think the adhd takes the wheel and fucking floors it #i dont have delusions of grandeur (not more than a flight of fancy that i know is unrealistic anyway) or like. euphoria. #i also dont not remember stuff from from those surges of inspiration #i mean i might forget something but thats bc i got distracted and my brain dumped it to focus on New Shiny Thing #this is the equivalent of my 2AM mental breakdown so bear with me here i am Going Through It when i should be sleeping #also it feels like theres shit crawling on me and there isnt but i cant sleep bc i am ITCHY WHY AM I ITCHY WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE THIS #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #fun fact: the sensation of shit crawling on you is called formication #which is really fucking funny #like i understand its from formica meaning ant but it is literally one letter away from fornication #anyway doing my usual webmd doom spiral and guess what gets formication as a symptom sometimes: bipolar disorder #im gonna laugh if i get a bipolar dx but it doesnt seem right #all the other options were autoimmune disorders like parkinson's and MS and fibro and RA #which. i might actually have rheumatoid arthritis. but the others? theyre scary. i dont wanna deal with that. #i dont even wanna deal with RA lets be real #farmer voice: i was just fine before i went to the doctor and now all of a sudden ive got an immune disorder #wait i dont think parkinson's is an autoimmune disorder thats a neurological condition #ok carry on #more fun facts since i am now down a wikipedia rabbit hole to distract myself from my itchy self #the process of ur limb falling asleep and going numb is called obdormition #then when the feeling starts coming back the pins and needles feeling is paresthesia #formication is an uncommon kind of paresthesia #obdormition is our funny word of the day and i look forward to telling someone about it randomly or for it to show up in a crossword soon #bc u know how u find something new and suddenly it's everywhere? #yeah. i get the feeling thats gonna happen here.