#im like really happy to not have to worry and get butterflies about someone LOLLL ok well this statement is partially true

[eccentricwearsgoggles]

about to open up about some personal stuff briefly. the purpose of doing so, is so that others who feel similarly have a positive reminder or just like, idk not feel alone about it. but I guess it's also cuz I don't always talk about it, but it's on my mind at times.

anyway. Growing up into my teens and even after, I had low self esteem and thus, didn't think I'd ever have like...any kind of steady relationship that would build up into marriage and it gave me a lot of bad and negative emotions. (Which, idk I'm pretty sure my parental issues were super evident, especially once I really figured things out later.) Thoughts like, "I'm never enough. No one's going to love me like the way I'd love them. I'm no good, I don't deserve it. What's wrong with me?"

Those are all some pretty self-deprecating thoughts. Especially when you look around and feel like everyone's got it figured out more than you do- which to say, might not always be the case as much as you think it is. Which, sometimes can be hard for me a lot of my acquaintances and friends, either younger or older are in serious relationships or married.

That's some of the difficult stuff, because you're wondering why you don't have that. I've mostly kind of come to terms with being single currently, it's not what I envisioned for my age. But like, there's probably reasons why it's this way, and not necessarily for negative reasons. I now understand there's nothing wrong with me, I choose to remain this way. Maybe we don't always feel like we choose that. But frankly I'm not settling for anyone who doesn't take me seriously or share important values/goals as I do.

There's underlying reasons as to why I wanted companionship while I was depressed. A lot. self worth and esteem issues, problems with home life, work, and perspective on life and circumstances. The main thing I was missing was the foundation I've found through my faith, as well as having the help to understand /why/ I was feeling how I did. I've needed true friendship in my life. I've started really building on that in the last couple of years and it's helped me a lot.

NGL I doubt it's going to go away entirely, cuz it's natural. I still would like to marry, but I'm a lot more accepting of the fact if it doesn't happen. But now that things are more stable in my life, and I've got a clearer head... I do want that. And that's okay. But doesn't mean there's something wrong with me if it doesn't happen. We just have expectations because of perspective and when we look at what others have or don't have. Everyone reaches goals or attain things at different paces, and when you do, hopefully you're able to look back and appreciate the growth you've made.

so like, hope you find strength and support in your family and friends that you have.

#idk what this all is #but im a happier person even tho there are things i havent experienced yet #im hoping to keep on that track #especially cuz life always does the unexpected and you are likely not prepared for change lol #but yeah idk like i said it's just personal experience thoughts and feels #just thought id share you dont gotta read 😂 #we're such social creatures we just wanna be around people we love and dont exhaust us #glad im single tho. i tend to overthink all my interactions or conversations when im first getting to know someone #and as much as that's cool to have #im like really happy to not have to worry and get butterflies about someone LOLLL ok well this statement is partially true

[binniesthighs]

you did- you did not just- you didn’t 😳

MY HEART I SWEAR TO GOD ITS GONE NOW YOU GAVE IT BUTTERFLIES AND IT FLEW AWAY THANK YOU

Did you take that love?? Hmm??🤨😐 you better cause you deserve it

But yeeeee I get you, just write whatever I want but I’m worried that someone’s gonna go off at me if it’s like similar to another fic or something and in case like people don’t like it I guess?? I don’t know man but I did like stop writing the seungmin fic for a hot second to write the hyunjin angst one cause like I just kept going on it but yeeeeeeeee 😅

DOES IT REALLY?? I’m really really glad you liked that 🥺 I’ll have to do more like that in the future then 👀 and like the fucking corruption!kink I love corruption kinks and I hope if I ever get with someone in my life they like it as well cause it do be 🥵

Eeeeee hopefully I’ll finish like a few chapters first before I upload any just to make sure I have something to post kind of thing if you get me and while I’m here the jeongin fic SPECTACULAR the poly/hyunbin PHENOMENAL and then the call me babydoll update IM RUNNING OUT OF BIG WORDS BUT YOU GET WHAT IM SAYING RIGHT???????

(We both be bb, {bbb??} but MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH)

(Is it grammatically correct or like can you put a bracket in a bracket or is that just wrong cause I do it all the time but I’m not too sure)

ROSETTA YOU GIVE ME BUTTERFLIES THE HECK?? huhuhu ahhh 

lolll i relate hard core to ya HA i swear i write like three different wips at the same time bc I just get so so excited writing them and then go through little blocks with one and then just move around a ton and it gets so confusing and complicated LOL but it’s still really fun! I feel ya too, i feel like when writing certain stuff it is really easy to get overlap with stories, but at the same time it’s super normal! theres only so many ways ya can write fkn haha this is why writing with your own spin is so fun!! I love writing softdom!binnie but there is so much softdom!binnie out there (haha rightfully so) so it’s fun to then add in other cute lil things that makes it unique to you! 

also yessir we love ourselves a corruption kink in this house teehee, idk what it is that seems so appealing about gettin’ destroyed that is so appealing?? i really do wonder about this sometimes aHA but ya know what else is hawt...writing a fic where the idol is the one that wants to be corrupted HOT DAMN i love those hehe 

also thank youuuu 🥺 i’m so happy that ya liked my new fics! i’ve been feeling unchained lately (and working on things to procrastinate my big time wips/updates ooP) so i thought why not with the two of those teehee (also catch my changjin loving ass any day of the week hahahhaha) 

YOU. ARE. THE. CUTEST. 🥰 hehe have a nice day! (also i’m not too sure on the brackets hahahah) 

#binniesthighs ​💌 #cutie moots #fight-me-m8 #binniesthighs feedback