#im so lost im so fuckingnfjfh

[xamaxenta]

Feeling absolutely horrible gut wrenching imposter syndrome in regards to being trans like

The fact i haven’t bothered to do anything about my dysphoria or anxiety about dealing with it means i dont want to transition when i do and idk what to do and its so hard in this country where its very conservativr snd gblsjfbf

Basically trans experience sucking rn i feel like a huge loser and really gross in my own skin

But idk im terrified of having to speak to a fucking doctor about this because i always feel like theyre not gonna believe me.

#like. why do i have to prove myself to anyone. #i also just. have so much trauma around telling people im trans #i hate it that i do #but its the reason im resisting because the rejection would be so insanely painful #thanks mom and dad for that. ive never loved or trusted you since. #its a lie everyone wants to love their parents. #im just overwhelmingly sad about this #im so lost im so fuckingnfjfh #fuck me i hate myself so much #i hate how i look i hate how i sound o hold absolutely no love inside me for me #im always so wistful when i see those self love posts on IG or Twitter like #these people are so happy #with being them and im like why cant i feel that? #also vaguely related but drawing that trans sabo really ignited a fucking longing in my heart and it just feels so far away