#interactive fiction game so good it got me writing 10 paragraphs analysis posts

[autumnfangirler]

i keep on making new sidesteps, which is fun and all but its really difficult to keep track of all of them and figure out all of their characters 💀

It doesnt help that i play favourites either LMFAO

HOWEVER. ive been stuck in philippines with very shitty/no wifi so i got plenty of time to think about them and i think ive finally gotten a semi-solid handle on cecilia so!! it is time to inflict her on the world

ive mentioned her before but cecilia rider, in all her herbo glory, truly is the ideal of fuck around and find out. she has the highest daring out of my steps and is reckless in ways that give all my other steps heart attacks. and like ive said before, cecilia is not the type of person to regret her actions, past and present. she will keep moving forward even when it hurts. nothing demonstrates that more than her relationship with the other rangers

cecilia is a hunger scar step, and by god does she hunger. she craves human connection, to have a relationship and feel loved again. the only thing that kept her from walking to the front door of HQ after her second escape was her work as a villain– she didnt want to be distracted, not when it was something she looked forward to for years.

her first reaction to meeting ortega again was excitement. she was so happy to see him, her best friend of years, and once upon a time one of her only connections to the outside world. The old jokes, banter, smiles and hugs was something she didnt even know she wanted, but when she got it again she was desperate for more. she couldnt live without it. after that, she cared so much and so recklessly, with no concern over what would happen if she did

after ortega, she ended up befriending herald (though that rooftop kidnapping was rough, she got pissed and ended up punching him djsjjdjs). it was really smooth, actually– cecilia is just a nice person, very bubbly and kind, and she loves being around herald, his thoughts made her feel warm and cared for (even if, in her eyes, he only cared for sidestep, not cecilia). plus, shes a lupin thief. i can imagine herald and cecilia discussing and debating art with eachother in their downtime. it makes me SO sad that you can only hang out w one ranger in checkpoint 4, even if it makes sense, because i think cecilia would totally go out with him for dinner for the free food and then waylay him with an "actually, im a lesbian who's going for your ex girlfriend" when he asks her on a proper date. in my heart this and the hangout with argent happened. I accept nothing else. Anyway those two are bffs and cecilia would beat the shit out of anyone who hurts him(except herself, because she did end up beating him to high hell at the museum. sorry danny lmfao)

cecilia ended up befriending chen next. actually, she never really wanted to be friends with him. she was perfectly content leaving him as the one ranger she hated. but, well, he has a dog, so she couldnt really stay mad at him, could she?

Bless spoon for all his hard work, because cecilia wouldve never interacted with chen civilly otherwise. she discovered that she actually liked walking with chen, as weird as that was, since hes at least less of a dick now. she went to walk spoon after therapy(sorry ortega) and was pleasantly surprised to find that chens quiet, more contemplative nature did well to calm her, especially since shes just a rowdy person in general. when she found out chen was gay and jealous of her, though,,,,, well, all i can say is rip chen because cecilia would never let him live that one down. i can imagine she teases him mercilessly about getting him and ortega together. chen will never know a moments peace again

and then there is, of course, argent. cecilia didnt care much for her during rebirth, up until the gala fight, where they fought eachother for the first time. she fought her fairly in the sewers and ended up enjoying it, even though argent stole her cape. from that point on, she looked forward to their fights just as much as argent did. in the bridge, she was very pleased to know that the flirting was reciprocated, and that kiss as she was very probably about to die did wonders for her heart rate. same with getting choked in the HQ. she had ample time to stop argent before it happened btw, she was just curious and then faced the consequences of her own actions lmfao

all that said, most of it was just cecilia finding her hot. she didnt really start being drawn to argent until the casino. the regenerator was the first time cecilia saw real desperation in her, a want that made her think, for once, maybe somebody could understand her. that somebody could relate to the constant feeling of need gnawing away at her. and of course, because this is cecilia, she made the most drastic decision she could think of to confirm it– she took her chances and revealed her tattoos, and herself, to argent. she had no qualms taking the subsequent consequences, and was very happy to know that the worst she suffered was a swollen lip(one that shed use to torment ortega later on anyway)

i cant explain it very well but argent and cecilia make me so jdjjjdjkkkkdj yk. theyre so similar. theyre both so stubborn, moving on from things without a second glance, because if they didnt theyd drown in it. they dont regret (most) of their actions. and most importantly to me, they can become very soft when it comes to the people they care about. cecilia is more open about it since she has more people she trusts with that part of herself, and she extends that to argent. sure she loves to flirt and tease, but shes unabashedly honest when it comes to what she feels. she accepts most things that comes her way, and the things she doesnt she isnt afraid to speak her mind about. and maybe thats what gets her on argents couch, stealing chocolate eclairs from eachother and watching sappy 70s movies. either way, shes quite happy with where she ended up.

or, shes happy at least until the crash. her canon run is a revealed ending. all of the relationships that shes built over the past few months? gone, just like that. everything shes ever wanted, everything she got, was stripped away from her a second time, which was Not fun for her hunger scar ass. she has no idea what she'll do, and shes terrified of the farm coming to take her in. for once, she regrets everything, all her actions leading up to this moment. but what can she do? theres nothing left for her, and once the farm gets her, theres going to be less than nothing.

argent saving her is probably the best thing that ever happened to her. both because she wont have to go back to the farm, and also because its a quiet confirmation that she hasnt lost everything. That she still had people she could trust. everyone else would be a long and difficult task of mending and rebuilding. but then again, when has she ever shyed away from the long and the difficult?

doing the hard thing has always been what she does best

#fhr #sidestep #cecilia rider #interactive fiction game so good it got me writing 10 paragraphs analysis posts #and wasting over 80% of my phone battery #anyway did you know cecilia isnt my favourite sidestep? #and there are still facets that i havent talked about in this post #i love cecilia #my favourite lesbian herbo