#it gives anders the quite idealised perception of malcolm that he has in canon i think

[vigilskeep]

[ID: reply from @fade-into-dawn saying “Are Keir and Malcolm close?”]

in some ways! they’re very alike, people endlessly said so, and keir always tried to be very like him. he was a good kid, all ser yes ser! he thought the world of his father and his father thought the world of him. but malcolm didn’t say that

keir’s malcolm’s not verbally expressive and he’s not even physically affectionate the way keir is. (you get sort of, like, pats on the back and a firm hand on the shoulder and an arm around his wife, but not a hugger or a hand holder. when keir wordlessly kisses a friend on the cheek as a casual greeting or crushes them into an embrace when he hasn’t seen them in a while, that’s not malcolm at all.) malcolm bottles all that up, circle trauma being what it can sometimes be, making him in some ways more of a true red hawke than keir, who gets significantly bluer talking to people he loves. malcolm didn’t like getting emotional or vulnerable ever, and he didn’t really approve when keir did, even as a kid; he expected him to learn to brush those things off and keep getting up again, because in malcolm’s head he would be exposing himself to danger if he didn’t

it’s hard to exactly call yourself close with someone like that, who doesn’t express affection in more than approving nods and high expectations. especially when they’re a strict authority figure that you put on a massive pedestal, whose approval you want so badly, and who quickly has this idea of you taking up his role of being strong for the family. malcolm liked when keir was tough and independent and handled things himself without coming crying to anyone, because that’s who he thought keir needed to be. so not the kind of closeness where you can share your worries and be comforted

#that still affects keir later. he cant stand himself crying for instance #theres this scene going into something else i wrote where anders justice tries to tell him its fine #nothing wrong with it etc #and he snaps something like ‘take it up with my father’ i forgot the actual line #which is really REALLY jarring and takes them aback more than the crying because under ordinary circumstances pre legacy dlc #keir NEVER ever breathes a word that might be construed as criticism of his father #it gives anders the quite idealised perception of malcolm that he has in canon i think #so its startling to be like hey wait what the fuck #anders and keir’s malcolm is so funny because in anders’ imagination he really admires him #and i think if they actually met they’d get in a pathetic mage fistfight #sorry for giving my boy so many daddy issues btw. i think it’s funny.