#it’s. like ive never fainted or anything but im recording higher and higher heart rates in response to exertion that shouldn’t be producing

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

realised the reason my heart issues freak me out is partly because unlike any of my pain it’s harder to just deal with it or find ways around it and also it could be a lot more dangerous than most of my other day to day medical stuff and also it was one of my cancer symptoms

#we brought down my medication dose and im still having issues #we could bring it down again but my doctor wants it high to decrease any chance of recurrence which is slightly higher for me #i haven’t had any caffeine amounts other than a little bit of chocolate since 10 am this morning #maybe im just tired or overtired or whatever but if i stand up im immediately tachycardic #it’s. like ive never fainted or anything but im recording higher and higher heart rates in response to exertion that shouldn’t be producing #that at all. like i took it manually so maybe i was wrong but i went up a slight hill and some stairs that usually leave me around 120-125 #not great but whatever. and i also used to be a runner so i make sure to control my breathing so that doesn’t have a big effects #this week? went to class up that hill and those stairs. sat down. took my pulse. i recorded 148 bpm #i live in a single room and stuff and im a little nervous about this potentially getting worse #plus like. im usually chill abt my cancer bc all they had to do was whip my thyroid out and that’s been it and it hadn’t been an #easy process per se but it wasn’t as intense as it could have been and im very lucky #but there is a chance of recurrence and treatment decisions were less ‘what will make it less likely the cancer returns’ and more ‘which #cancer chances do i wanna take’ #it was between radiation induced bone or breast cancer vs recurrence of my cancer (comes back most often as bone or lung) #and i. would not like to have to deal with that el oh el #im mostly fine it’s just been an off day and simply standing and getting an average bpm of 108 (the thing i use averages it out) is weird #not to mention showering was hellish bc I could feel my heart pounding #vent tw #cancer tw