#it's so bad people in other countries can't even get access they're just too expensive full stop

[razzek]

I waaaaant but even with a grant I'd still have to make about $2k appear out of nowhere. ;_;

#just blind things #I have the bare bones 20 cell version that you can only read on from the state talking book library #and I like it but 20 cells is kind of torturous #and I can't write on it or do anything else with it #braille #love how this kind of thing that's life changing for many of us #is completely out of reach when most of us are denied work #and these are priced with government and employment agencies only in mind instead of consumers #it's so bad people in other countries can't even get access they're just too expensive full stop #ironically people who read braille and have access to things like this have a much higher employment rate #it's a really shit catch 22 #I just miss writing dirty fanfic in the dark what can I say XD

[sassypotatoe1]

Look I'm autistic and that means that regulating my emotions is hard, which also means that emotions too heavy to handle will get subconsciously suppressed and dissociated from and then I'll cry my eyes out over tiny things because that's a level of upset I can manage that isn't so overwhelming that I hurt myself in my upset (unintentionally).

So when I'm crying over a cartoon of a post-apocalyptic cat wanting to play with her human but her human is dead so she can't play I'm not actually sobbing my eyes out over the comic. I mean I am, but if my reaction seems completely disproportionate it's because it is, because it's not just about the confused kitten. It's about the countless countries where genocide and war is taking place, the stupid high amount of family members I've lost over the past 5 years, the global cost of living crisis that's getting ignored by all of the governments because the richest guys are the richest anyone has ever been in human history so clearly it can't be that bad, right?

It's about being overwhelmed from work, exhausted, disabled, chronically ill and faced with an expensive and pretty close to useless healthcare system that will see a years-old painful lump in the same spot at the top of my neck on the one side, my head tilting to that side subconsciously, frequent ear and sinus infections on that side, and bloody ear wax on that side and prescribe a children's antihistamine and placebo 'anxiety medication'.

It's about the medical field knowing how to successfully transplant an entire penis so it has full function and sensation, but not knowing that endometrial tissue doesn't show up on sonar 90% of the time yet still not only uses sonar imaging exclusively to look for endometriosis, but also fucks up organs around the uterus so bad when removing the uterus because of endometriosis that people get hernias that keep coming back in their large intestine that can and has killed people. And removing the uterus isn't even a good treatment method for endometriosis it can very often still come back.

It's about governments banning men in heavy makeup and wigs reading children's books to children because they're "pedophiles" but actual pedophiles not only walk free, but are celebrated and revered and still allowed access to children and far too much money.

It's about the only apparent solution to all the injustice in the world being full scale revolution, which for all its virtues will always come with the loss of innocent lives. And it's about my own inability to see any other option, nevermind implement it. And my inability to do anything, because I'm paralyzed by the possibilities of the negative impact my actions will have on innocent lives in an attempt to help.

So yeah I spent 25 minutes sobbing over drawings of a cat last night but really I was grieving the world I'd hoped we'd become, and how far we've strayed from that dream.