#its a constant discomfort snd pain ive grown used to among all the others but this is too far

[magnoliamyrrh]

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#... all this god damn anxiety and idk everything else ive been losing my mind over lately has led to me smoking so god damn much #without realizing. i keep not understand where the packs of cigarettes are going its actually kinda scary #i bought like 3 yesterday?? yesterday?? (not that it feels at all like yesterday my sense of time is fucked) and they were gone by half #through today #.... and its kept happening. or id buy 2 packs at midday and by next midday id be like?? where the fuck are my cigs #...... my lungs hurt #i really really need to lay off or just quit. #the genetic disorder makes my skin/tissues/etc more easily damaged. and it takes longer to heal #...... so all the smoking has already led to. uhhh. wounds in my mouth and tongue. and my gums are hurting again because of it #not to mention my throath which is fucked..... and all of these were already in bad shape from the bulimia rip #im gonna consider it a miracle if i dont get cancer but also i should reallt stop literally playing with fire and literally burning my body #from the inside out #its a constant discomfort snd pain ive grown used to among all the others but this is too far #..... no idea how im not just gonna start cutting again the moment i quit tho #but tbh. maybe that'd be better???? literally does no long lasting damage. im already covered in scars and i dont mind them. and it wouldnt #give me fucking cancer